Fruits of Culture

Chapter 18

FIRST PEASANT. That"s to say, you pull in her paunch for appearance"

sake.

TaNYA. Sometimes I lace her up so that her eyes are ready to start from her head, and she says, "Tighter," till my hands tingle. And you say I"m not strong! [Peasants laugh and shake their heads].

TaNYA. But here, I"ve been jabbering. [Runs away, laughing].

THIRD PEASANT. Ah, the la.s.sie has made us laugh!

FIRST PEASANT. She"s a tidy one!

SECOND PEASANT. She"s not bad.

Enter Sahatof and Vasily Leoniditch. Sahatof holds a teaspoon in his hand.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Not exactly a dinner, but a _dejeuner dinatoire_. And first-rate it was, I tell you. Ham of sucking-pig, delicious! Roulier feeds one splendidly! I"ve only just returned. [Sees Peasants] Ah, the peasants are here again!

SAHaTOF. Yes, yes, that"s all very well, but we came here to hide this article. Where shall we hide it?

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Excuse me a moment. [To Servants" Cook] Where are the dogs?

SERVANTS" COOK. In the coachman"s quarters. You can"t keep dogs in the servants" kitchen!

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Ah, in the coachman"s quarters? All right.

SAHaTOF. I am waiting.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Excuse me, please. Eh, what? Hide it? I"ll tell you what. Let"s put it into one of the peasants" pockets. That one. I say, where"s your pocket? Eh, what?

THIRD PEASANT. What for d"ye want my pocket? You"re a good "un! My pocket! There"s money in my pocket!

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Where"s your bag, then?

THIRD PEASANT. What for?

SERVANTS" COOK. What d"you mean? That"s the young master!

VASiLY LEONiDITCH [laughs. To Sahatof] D"you know why he"s so frightened? Shall I tell you? He"s got a heap of money. Eh, what?

SAHaTOF. Yes, yes, I see. Well, you talk to them a bit, and I"ll put it into that bag without being observed, so that they should not notice and could not point it out to him. Talk to them.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. All right! [To Peasants] Well then, old fellows, how about the land? Are you buying it? Eh, what?

FIRST PEASANT. We have made an offering, so to say, with our whole heart. But there,--the business don"t come into action nohow.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. You should not be so stingy! Land is an important matter! I told you about planting mint. Or else tobacco would also do.

FIRST PEASANT. That"s just it. Every kind of producks.

THIRD PEASANT. And you help us, master. Ask your father. Or else how are we to live? There"s so little land. A fowl, let"s say, there"s not enough room for a fowl to run about.

SAHaTOF [having put the spoon into a bag belonging to the Third Peasant]

_C"est fait._ Ready. Come along. [Exit].

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. So don"t be stingy! Eh? Well, good-bye. [Exit].

THIRD PEASANT. Didn"t I say, come to some lodging-house? Well, supposing we"d had to give three-pence each, then at least we"d have been in peace. As to here, the Lord be merciful! "Give us the money," he says.

What"s that for?

SECOND PEASANT. He"s drunk, I daresay.

Peasants turn their cups upside-down, rise, and cross themselves.

FIRST PEASANT. And d"you mind what a saying he threw out? Sowing mint!

One must know how to understand them, that one must!

SECOND PEASANT. Sow mint indeed! He"d better bend his own back at that work, and then it"s not mint he"ll hanker after, no fear! Well, many thanks!... And now, good woman, would you tell us where we could lie down to sleep?

SERVANTS" COOK. One of you can lie on the oven, and the others on these benches.

THIRD PEASANT. Christ save you! [Prays, crossing himself].

FIRST PEASANT. If only by G.o.d"s help we get our business settled! [Lies down] Then to-morrow, after dinner, we"d be off by the train, and on Tuesday we"d be home again.

SECOND PEASANT. Are you going to put out the light?

SERVANTS" COOK. Put it out? Oh no! They"ll keep running down here, first for one thing then another.... You lie down, I"ll lower it.

SECOND PEASANT. How is one to live, having so little land? Why, this year, I have had to buy corn since Christmas. And the oat-straw is all used up. I"d like to get hold of ten acres, and then I could take Simon back.

THIRD PEASANT. You"re a man with a family. You"d get the land cultivated without trouble. If only the business comes off.

SECOND PEASANT. We must pray to the Holy Virgin, maybe she"ll help us out. [Silence, broken by sighs. Then footsteps and voices are heard outside. The door opens. Enter Grossman hurriedly, with his eyes bandaged, holding Sahatof"s hand, and followed by the Professor and the Doctor, the Fat Lady and Leonid Fyodoritch, Betsy and Petristchef, Vasily Leoniditch and Marya Konstantinovna, Anna Pavlovna and the Baroness, Theodore Ivanitch and Tanya].

Peasants jump up. Grossman comes forward stepping quickly, then stops.

FAT LADY. You need not trouble yourselves; I have undertaken the task of observing, and am strictly fulfilling my duty! Mr. Sahatof, are you not leading him?

SAHaTOF. Of course not!

FAT LADY. You must not lead him, but neither must you resist! [To Leonid Fyodoritch] I know these experiments. I have tried them myself.

Sometimes I used to feel a certain effluence, and as soon as I felt it ...

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. May I beg of you to keep perfect silence?

FAT LADY. Oh, I understand so well! I have experienced it myself. As soon as my attention was diverted I could no longer ...

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Sh ...!

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