Chapter 27: After marriage day to day life- where is your moral integrity?
When Xu Wei Yu is being very shameless, I’d ask him, “Where is your moral integrity?”
He’ll glance back with a charming smile and say, “I lost it all when I fell in love with you.”
Then, when his co-workers and friends get provoked by his arrogant manner under his refined air, they’d say to him, “Brother Yu, you’ve lost your moral integrity!”
He’d turn back and smile, “No, it’s your moral integrity.”
All in all, I’ve received numerous called related to Xu Wei Yu’s moral integrity.
“Sister in law, you have to act on my behalf, yes, I am his co-worker in the same department, surname Liu. I’ve been suffering from his inhumane encroachments! I can’t protect myself and I want to jump off a cliff but my family……”
“……”
Later, I asked him, “How did you encroach on co-worker Liu?”
Wei Yu: “Pft! He has nothing to do all day so he rocks around in my office. It’s so annoying so I got someone to get a pair of handcuffs and cuff him to his seat to let him stop it for a bit.”
“……”
Xu Wei Yu’s department organised a trip to go play real person shooting. I was brought along after much unwillingness. Luckily, a lot of men also brought along their families.
Before the game started, we were divided into two teams through drawing lots. Xu Wei Yu and I were on the opposing teams. He held my hand and said, “Wife, I am someone with discipline so please don’t take to heart whatever I do to you later on and make me kneel on the floor when we get home ah.”
In the front, someone shouted, “Brother Yu, what are you doing? Hurry up and get back to the team!”
Wei Yu: “What are you shouting for, I’m just checking my fellow soldier’s character!”
Not long after the battle began, I was held at gunpoint.
Xu Wei Yu ran over from afar, “Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me capture the prisoner!”
I stared at the sky. After Xu Wei Yu ran over, I only saw him stare deeply at his team mate then extinguish them.
Team mate: “……”
Me: “……”
Wei Yu: “I can’t do it to a beautiful woman ah.”
Me, who was not a beautiful woman, sincerely said, “You should shoot me, I really want to get out and drink tea.”
Xu Wei Yu’s indecent quotes.
After rolling around in bed for one and a half weeks, he stared softly at me, exuding tenderness and love, “Lady pa.s.sing by, please come and help me get rid of my poision……oi, don’t leave ah, lady!”
When I was busy on the flower, he ran over and said, “Please deflower me.”
When I was hanging up the laundry, he walked around in a circle then said with a cute expression, “This kind contractor, please contract me! As long as you work hard and cultivate well, I promise that next year, you’ll have a big reaping.”
Me: “……”
Of course, he was just groundlessly kicking up a racket.
Outside, when we were with his friends and he saw them looking at pretty ladies, Wei Yu would coldly snort, “Where is your character?” He’d continue, “If you want to look then look at your own, if you look at other people’s, it’s like not looking at all!”
Once, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Don’t you men have better values?”
Wei Yu smiled lewdly, “……values……I have them ah, of course, I only have them towards you!”
I wanted to call Dorm Leader but I pressed the wrong person. However, I didn’t realise after they said “h.e.l.lo” so I continued talking, “Do you want me to introduce you a match? Although they are an only child, their personality is really good and they also look quite good. Their height didn’t meet your 180cm requirements by just a bit, what do you think, do you want to take a look?”
Other person: “But……I like women.”
I looked at my phone and realised that it was a male friend with the same surname as Dorm Leader. His name was just under Dorm Leader’s.
I quickly said in embarra.s.sment that I called the wrong number.
The other side laughed, “I believe you, because I don’t have a requirement for girls to be 180cm. Right, your husband said that he was still growing, how come? What are you feeding him? Please give some advice, if I grow another 5cm, then I’ll be well developed!”
I also really wanted to know what was going on so that night, I asked Xu Wei Yu, “You’re still growing?”
“Yeah! These two nights, I keep feeling like I’m losing my footing.”
Me: “Isn’t that because you lack calcium?”
Wei Yu: “……”
When I was chatting online with Xu Wei Yu, I had to attend to some matters so I told him, “I’ll talk to you after I come back.”
Then, after I came back, I saw on my screen, “Coming back after advertis.e.m.e.nts and whatever are the most annoying!”
“If you leave then don’t come back!”
“Leave! Leave! After you leave this door then don’t come back!”
“I knew that between us it’s always me who is giving!”
I replied, “How come you didn’t type that popular line, ‘I feel like I’ll never love again’?”
Xu Wei Yu: “Has your immunity growing stronger……”
After dinner, we went out for a walk. When we were crossing the road, a car sped through the red light and drove straight past me. Xu Wei Yu immediately pulled me back and stared at the car’s plate number, “Wait to receive a double fine you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!”
After we crossed the road, I asked him, “If a car really crashed into me, what would you do?”
Wei Yu: “Do I even need to think about it, I’ll push you away and I’ll fall on the floor. Then you come back and extort money from him!”
I was speechless, “It’s not good to blackmail someone right?”
“We were crossing the road lawfully. People who crash into us have no eyes, if they don’t have eyes then why be polite, we’ll extort them to death! Even better if he pays for all our life expenses in the future, when we’re sick, we’ll phone him, when we want to eat something, we’ll phone him, hmph hmph.”
“Is this considered dating?”
“……”
Friend: “Use one word to prove you’re the head of the house!”
Wei Yu: “I hold the power over the household’s finances!”
Me: “……Whether you’re happy or not is up to me.”
“……”