The pill turned out to be a bad idea. Something in her simply didn"t want to rest, and her body fought the soporific. When she finally succeeded in falling asleep for a few minutes her head was filled with a chaotic rush of fragments, from which she woke in an aching sweat, with such a dread upon her, such a pro found, wrenching dread, that she had to get up again, turn on the light and talk herself back into a semblance of calm. She padded down to the kitchen, made herself a cup of Earl Grey tea and returned to the journal. What was the use of trying to resist it, she thought as she sat down in the circle of lamplight and turned her eyes to the page. Nonsense or not, it had her in its grip, and she couldn"t be free of it until it had finished with her.
ii Halfway across town, lying awake in his bed, Cadmus Geary thought of his beloved Louise, and of those days of dalliance that sometimes seemed so far off they"d happened in another life and at others, as tonight, seemed to have taken place just a few days ago, the memory was so clear.
What a beauty she had been! Entirely deserving of his devotion. Of course she was playing hard to get tonight, but that was one of the prerogatives of beauty; all he could do was stay close to her, and hope she saw his sincerity.
"Louise..." he murmured.
A man"s voice answered. "There"s n.o.body called Louise here," it said quietly.
His faint condescension irritated Cadmus. "I know that," he snapped. He reached for his spectacles which were on the bedside table."You want some water?" the man said.
"No, I want to see who the h.e.l.l I"m talking to."
"It"s Mitch.e.l.l."
"Mitch.e.l.l?" His fumbling fingers had found his spectacles, and he put them on, peering at his grandson through the thumbed gla.s.s. "What time is it?"
"It"s the middle of the night."
"So what are you doing here?"
"We"ve been talking, on and off."
"Have I been making any sense?"
"Of course," Mitch.e.l.l rea.s.sured him. This was not strictly true. Though the old man had been more coherent than Garrison had reported, he was still in a semidelirious state much of the time.
"You"ve been sleeping, on and off."
"Talking in my sleep?"
"Yes," Mitch.e.l.l said. "Nothing scandalous. You"ve just been calling for this woman Louise."
Cadmus sank back into the pillow. "My lovely Louise," he sighed. "She was the best thing that ever happened to me." He dosed his eyes. "What are you waiting for?" he said. "You"ve got to have something better to be doing than sitting here. I"m not planning to die just yet."
"I didn"t think you were."
"So go have a party. Get drunk. f.u.c.k your wife, if she"ll let you."
"She won"t." , "Then f.u.c.k somebody else"s wife." He opened his eyes again and laughed, the sound like the hiss of escaping air. "That"s more fun anyway."
"I"d prefer to be here with you."
"Would you really?" the old man said incredulously. "Either I"m more interesting than I thought or you"re even duller." He raised his head an inch or so and peered at his grandson. "You got the looks didn"t you, Mitch? I mean, you really are a handsome fellow. But... you"re not as bright as your mother and you"re not as honest as your father, and that"s a pity, because I had some hopes for you.""Help me then."
"Help you?"
"Tell me how you want me to be, and I"ll work at it."
"You can"t work at it," Cadmus said, his tone close to contempt. "Just get on with what you"ve got. n.o.body blames you. It"s the luck of the draw." He settled his head back on his pillow, delicately, as though his skull was cracked. "Are you here alone?" he said.
"There"s a nurse..."
"No. I mean your brother."
"Garrison"s not here."
"Good. I don"t want him here." He closed his eyes. "We"ve all done things we regret, but... but...
oh Lord, oh Lord..." He shivered a little.
"Should I get another blanket for you?"
"It doesn"t help. I"m just cold and there"s nothing to be done about it. What I want is my Louise..." He made a puckish little smile. "She"d warm me up."
"I don"t know who you"re talking about."
"Your wife... resembles my Louise... did you know that?"
"Really?"
"We have that much in common, at least. A taste in beauty."
"Where is she now?" Mitch.e.l.l said.
"Your wife?" Cadmus said. "You don"t know where your wife is?" He made another laugh. "That was a joke, Mitch.e.l.l."
"Oh."
"I don"t remember you being so humorless."
"Things have changed. I"ve changed."
"Well, don"t lose your sense of humor. In the end it may be all you"ve got. Christ knows, it"s all I"ve got." Mitch.e.l.l started to protest, but the old man hushed him. "Don"t tell me how deeply loved I am because I know better. I"m an inconvenience. I"m standing between you and yourinheritance."
"We just want to do our best for the family," Mitch.e.l.l said.
"We meaning...?"
"Garrison and myself."
"Since when was murder a smart thing to do?" Cadmus said, with agonizing sloth. "All your brother has brought this family is shame. Shame. I"m ashamed of my own grandchildren."
"Wait-" Mitch.e.l.l protested. "That was all Garrison. I had nothing to do with what happened to Margie."
"No?"
"Absolutely not. I loved Margie."
"She was like a sister to you."
"She was."
"You don"t understand how it could have happened. It"s a tragedy. Poor Margie, poor drunken Margie. What did she ever do to deserve it?" He bared his brown teeth. "You want to know what she did? I"ll tell you what she did. She gave birth to a n.i.g.g.e.r, and your big brother never forgave her that."
"What?"
"You didn"t know? She had Galilee"s kid. At least, that"s what Garrison thought. How could it be his? I mean, he"s a Geary. So how could it be his, a little black f.u.c.k of a thing?"
"I don"t understand."
"I think that"s the first honest thing you"ve said tonight. No, I"m sure you don"t understand. I"m sure it"s all completely beyond you." He shook his head. "What did you really come here for?" he said.
"Wait. Back up. I want to know about Margie."
"You"ve heard all you"re going to hear from me. I want to know what you came here for."
"I just wanted to talk."
"About what?""Anything you wanted to talk about. We used to be so close and-"
"Stop. Stop," Cadmus said. "I"m squirming, listening to this c.r.a.p. I"ll ask you one more time: what did you come here for? You answer me truthfully or get the h.e.l.l out of here and don"t ever come back." He leaned up out of the pillow. "And when I say that, I mean it. Don"t ever come back."
Mitch.e.l.l nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. "So... it"s simple. I want to find the Barbarossas."
"Now we get to it," Cadmus said. For the first time in the conversation he looked genuinely pleased. "Go on."
"Garrison says there"s a book-"
"Does he indeed?"
"-some kind of journal, which your first wife told him about."
"Kitty didn"t know how to keep her mouth shut."
"So this book exists?"
"Oh yes. It exists."
"I came here to get it."
"I don"t have it, son."
Mitch.e.l.l leaned closer to his grandfather. "Where is it?" he said again. "Come on. Tell me. I"ve been honest with you."
"And I"m returning the compliment. I don"t have it. And even if I did, I wouldn"t give it to you."
"Why the h.e.l.l not? What do you care what we do to those people?"
"By we you mean this family?" He narrowed his watery eyes. "Are you planning a war, Mitch?
Because if you are, don"t. You don"t know what you"re taking on."
"I know the Barbarossas have got some kind of hold over us."
"They have more than a hold," Cadmus said, his voice emotionless. "They own us. And let me tell you, we"re lucky, we are very lucky, to have been left alone all these years. Because if they took it into their heads to come after us, we wouldn"t stand a chance."
"Are they Mafia?"
"Oh Lord, wouldn"t that be nice? If they were just men with guns.""So who are they?"
"I don"t know," the old man replied. "But I"m afraid I"m going to find out, the moment my heart stops beating."
"Don"t say that."
"Does it make you nervous?" Cadmus said. "It should." His eyes were shiny with tears. "There"s more to this than you"ll ever get your head round, son, so for your own sake, let it go. Don"t let Garrison pull you into this mess. He"s got no other option, you see. He was born into it. But you... you can walk away if you want to. Save yourself. G.o.d knows it"s too late for me. And for your brother. And of course your wife-"
"She hasn"t a clue about any of this."
"She"s theirs," Cadmus said flatly. "All the women are. I sometimes think that"s what"s saved us from being wiped out. Galilee likes the Geary women. The Geary women like Galilee." He pressed his fingers to his pale lips, and wiped away some spittle. "I lost Kitty to him. Long before the cancer got her, she was gone from me. Then I lost Loretta. That"s hard to take. I loved them both, but it wasn"t enough."
Mitch.e.l.l put his head in his hands. "Garrison said they weren"t like us," he murmured.
"He"s right and he"s wrong. I think they"re more like us than not. But they"re also more than we could ever be." The tears began to tumble down his cheeks. "I suppose I should be comforted by that. I didn"t stand a chance against the likes of him. Nothing I could have done for my wives would ever have been enough. He had them the moment he laid eyes on them."
"Don"t cry. Pops," Mitch.e.l.l said. "Please."
"I cry all the time, take no notice."
Mitch.e.l.l moved closer to the bed. "Let me be a part of this," he said, his voice soft and full.
"Please. I know you think I"m a f.u.c.kup... but... it"s just because nothing"s ever been clear to me.
n.o.body ever took the time to explain. So I just looked the other way. I pretended I didn"t care.
But I do. Pops, I do. I want to know who these people are; I want to make them suffer the way you"ve suffered."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you"re my grandson and I won"t be responsible for sending you to your death."
"Why are you so afraid of them?""Because I"m almost dead, son. And if I"ve got an eternal soul, it"s in a lot of trouble. I don"t want you on my conscience. It"s already heavy enough."
Mitch.e.l.l drew a deep breath. "All right," he said, rising from the chair. "I don"t know what else to say. You"ve got your agenda, I"ve got mine."
"Christ, son, listen to yourself," Cadmus said softly. "This isn"t a business deal that"s going sour.