Well, if he wan"t any taller"n I be he showed good jedgment.... Zacheus and Galushy and Primrose!... G.o.dfreys!"
Primmie was shocked. "Why, Zach Bloomer!" she exclaimed. "The idea of your talkin" so about a person"s name you never met but just now in your lifetime."
Zacheus regarded the owner of the name.
"No offense meant and none given, Mr. Bangs," he observed. "Eh? That"s right, ain"t it?"
"Certainly, certainly, Mr. Bloomer. I"m not in the least offended."
"Um-hm. Didn"t cal"late you would be. Can"t help our names, can we? If my folks had asked me aforehand I"d a-been named plain John. As "tis, my name"s like my legs, growed that way and it"s too late to change."
Galusha smiled.
"You"re a philosopher, I see, Mr. Bloomer," he said.
"He"s a.s.sistant keeper over to the lighthouse," explained Primmie. As before, Zach paid no heed.
"I don"t know as I"d go so far as to call myself that," he said. "When I went to school the teacher told us one time about an old critter who lived in a--in a tub, seem"s if "twas. HE was one of them philosophers, wan"t he?"
"Yes. Diogenes."
"That"s the cuss. Well, I ain"t never lived in a tub, but I"ve spent consider"ble time ON one; I was aboard a lightship for five or six year.
Ever lived aboard a lightship, Mr. Bangs?"
"No."
"Humph!... Don"t feel disapp"inted on that account, do you?"
"Why--ah--no, I don"t know that I do."
"Ain"t no occasion. "Bout the same as bein" in jail, "tis--only a jail don"t keep heavin" up and down. First week or so you talk. By the second week the talk"s all run out of you, like mola.s.ses out of a hogshead.
Then you set and think."
"I see. And so much thinking tends to bring out--ah--philosophy, I suppose."
"Huh! Maybe so. So much settin" wears out overalls, I know that."
Primmie interrupted.
"I"ve got it!" she cried, enthusiastically. "_I_ know now!"
Galusha started nervously. Primmie"s explosiveness was disturbing. It did not disturb Mr. Bloomer, however.
"Posy here"d be a good hand aboard a lightship," he observed. "Her talk"d NEVER run out."
Primmie sniffed disgust. "I wish you wouldn"t keep callin" me "Posy"
and such names, Zach Bloomer," she snapped. "Yesterday he called me "Old Bouquet," Mr. Bangs. My name"s Primrose and he knows it."
The phlegmatic Zacheus, whose left leg had been crossed above his right, now reversed the crossing.
"A-ll right--er Pansy Blossom," he drawled. "What is it you"re trying to tell us you know? Heave it overboard."
"Hey?... Oh, I mean I"ve remembered what "twas I wanted to ask you, Mr.
Bangs. Me and Zach was talkin" about Miss Martha. I said it seemed to me she had somethin" on her mind, was sort of worried and troubled about somethin", and Zach--"
For the first time the a.s.sistant light keeper seemed a trifle less composed.
"There, there, Primmie," he began. "I wouldn"t--"
"Be still, Zach Bloomer. You know you want to find out just as much as I do. Well, Zach, he cal"lated maybe "twas money matters, cal"lated maybe she was in debt or somethin"."
Mr. Bloomer"s discomfiture was so intense as to cause him actually to uncross his legs.
"G.o.dfreys, Prim!" he exclaimed. "Give you a shingle and a pocket-handkercher and you"ll brag to all hands you"ve got a full-rigged ship. I never said Martha was in debt. I did say she acted worried to me and I was afraid it might be account of some money business. She was over to the light just now askin" for Cap"n Jeth, and he"s the one her dad, Cap"n Jim Phipps, used to talk such things with. They went into a good many trades together, them too.... But there, "tain"t any of your affairs, is it, Mr. Bangs--and "tain"t any of Primmie"s and my business, so we"d better shut up. Don"t say nothin" to Martha about it, Mr. Bangs, if you"d just as soon. But course you wouldn"t anyhow."
This was a tremendously long speech for Mr. Bloomer. He sighed at its end, as if from exhaustion; then he crossed his legs again. Galusha hastened to a.s.sure him that he would keep silent. Primmie, however, had more to say.
"Why, Zach Bloomer," she declared, "you know that wan"t only part of what you and me was sayin". That wan"t what I wanted to ask Mr. Bangs.
YOU said if "twas money matters or business Miss Martha went to see Cap"n Jeth about you cal"lated the cap"n would be cruisin" up to Boston to see a medium pretty soon."
"The old man"s Speritu"list," exclaimed Zach. "Always goes to one of them Speritu"list mediums for sailin" orders."
"Now you let me tell it, Zach. Well, then _I_ said I wondered if you wan"t a kind of medium, Mr. Bangs. And Zach, he--"
Galusha interrupted this time.
"_I_--a medium!" he gasped. "Well, really, I--ah--oh, dear! Dear me!"
"AIN"T you a kind of medium, Mr. Bangs?"
"Certainly not."
"Well, I thought undertakin" was your trade till Miss Martha put her foot down on the notion and shut me right up. You AIN"T an undertaker, be you?"
"An undertaker?... Dear me, Primmie, you--ah--well, you surprise me.
Just why did you think me an undertaker, may I ask?"
"Why, you see, "cause--"cause--well, you was talkin" yesterday about interestin" remains and--and all this forenoon you was over in the cemetery and said you had such a good time there and... and I couldn"t see why anybody, unless he was an undertaker, or--or a medium maybe, would call bein" around with dead folks havin" a good time... Quit your laughin", Zach Bloomer; you didn"t know what Mr. Bangs" trade was any more"n I did."
Mr. Bloomer cleared his throat. "Mr. Bangs," he observed sadly, "didn"t I tell you she"d make a ship out of a shingle? If you"d puffed smoke, and whistled once in a while, she"d have cal"lated you must be a tugboat."
Galusha smiled.
"I am an archaeologist," he said. "I think I told you that, Primmie."
Primmie looked blank. "Yes," she admitted, "you did, but--"
Zacheus finished the sentence.