"You remember when we first talked of the Shepherd"s Psalm, I said I should be glad when I could say: "When I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" Now," he added, emphatically, "_I can say it._ I fear no evil, for thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
His listener then went on to speak of the beautiful figure of the rod and staff.
_Sunshine and Shadow._--G.o.d leads his little ones gently, the Good Shepherd bears the lambs, that the enemy may not too much affright them through the dark valley.
"Is your peace never disturbed, William?" I asked one day.
"Not often," he answered. "Sometimes there comes a cloud--it is a temptation, I suppose."
"Yes," I said, "Satan, perhaps, envies you. He knows that he will never get your soul, but he will trouble you a little."
"I suppose so," he replied thoughtfully.
Wishing to express to me his happiness in G.o.d, and not knowing quite how to do so, he said:
"It is like this, sometimes--I feel like a boy let out from school; I am so happy, I want to shout." At another time he said:
"I have much _communion_." Then, as if to ill.u.s.trate this, he added:
"Last night, I awoke about two o"clock, and I was praying in my sleep."
"Can you recall your prayer?" I asked.
"No," he said, "but I was praying to G.o.d."
"G.o.d is very good, William, to let you talk with him so in the night."
"Yes," he answered; and then turning his face toward his pillow, he said, in a low voice: "Praise G.o.d!"
"And bless his holy name," I responded.
We were both silent for a few moments, and then--I think it was in connection with this conversation--I asked:
"William, if you were to get well now, do you think you would try to live to the glory of G.o.d?"
"Indeed, I would," he answered.
"And bring others to know him?" I asked.
"Yes," he said again.
"Well, William, I suppose you think that here upon this bed you cannot do much; but I think you can glorify him here on this very bed."
"Yes," he answered, a little doubtfully; then added: "I try to pray to him all the time."
I was half sorry for the suggestion, which seemed somewhat to bewilder him, and said: "That is all you can do, is it not?"
"And that is little enough," he replied sorrowfully.
I tried to make him understand that to receive much of G.o.d"s grace was the surest way to serve him.
"What shall I render unto G.o.d for all his benefits? I will take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord."
When I saw William the next morning, he said, immediately:
"I did last night what you told me. I prayed for strength to glorify G.o.d here."
"I think," I answered, "that you will do that if you lie here and meekly suffer his will; and I must tell you that, after these conversations with you, I go home thanking G.o.d for what you have told me of His love to you. I think I love the Saviour better, since I have seen what he can be to one in sickness and death."
"_That is good_" he said emphatically, "_I would have it so_."
As I left him this time, the thought in my own mind was: "Oh, speak good of the Lord."
On my return to William and his brother-in-law, after the interview which I described in my last paragraph, and which occurred only a few days ago, I saw that he was too much agitated for conversation. I read him a hymn and said a few words. He was suffering more than usual that day, and his usually peaceful spirit seemed a little clouded. When I rose to go, it seemed that he would have detained me. We had bidden good-by, and turned away, when I looked back. I wanted to leave some word of Christ or thought of him at the last. "William," I said, bending over him, "Jesus says: "Let not your heart be troubled--in my Father"s house are many mansions.""
He took hold of my hand, and looked up, the red lines of tears about his eyes. I could not quite understand their expression of unutterable longing, but I could feel at the moment that death must be penal, and its waters cold sometimes, even to a believer.
In these deeply anxious hours, O, if Jesus only smile!
Only Jesus Can these restless tears beguile.
CHAPTER X.
SOWING AND REAPING.
Sowing in the morning, sowing seeds of kindness, Sowing in the noon-tide and the dewy eves; Waiting for the harvest, and the time of reaping, We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.
The blessed Master says, in his Sermon on the Mount, "With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." If we attempt great things for G.o.d, and expect great things from G.o.d, He will bless us accordingly; for He cheers us by saying: "Ye shall reap, if ye faint not."
Mrs. Knowles tells us of instances where this truth has been verified.
"One woman, whom I have been visiting for years, but apparently without any success, until a few months since, when she was taken sick, sent for me at that time, and said, "she felt so sorry she had led such a wicked life," and putting her arms round my neck, said, earnestly, "Oh, pray for me, that the Lord will have mercy on me, and save my poor soul." I did so, and when I rose from my knees, she held my hand in hers, and looking up for some time, she cried, "Lord help me, and answer the prayers that have been offered for me;" and when I told her to cast herself wholly upon Jesus, that He was ready to save her, she said, "Oh, but I have been such a sinner." "He is ready to save the chief of sinners, if they will only come." She clasped her hands, crying, "Oh, Jesus, save me, for I trust in thee." I left her with a heart full of anxiety, but believing the Lord had begun the good work in her heart, and that in His own good time he would finish it, and I was not disappointed; for in a short time she was brought to rejoice in Christ as her Saviour, and although for weeks she pa.s.sed through intense suffering, she never complained, but looking up, she would say to her family, and others who came to visit her, "My Saviour helps me to bear all my trials;" and so he did, for I never saw a more patient sufferer, or a happier death.
"A lady whom I met there said to me, "You have been sowing seed here a long time, and now you see what encouragement you have to labor." The family are still out of Christ, but I earnestly hope to see or hear of them all brought to their mother"s G.o.d.
"Another woman, who did not attend church at all, was like a little child, helpless and humble. Her situation became so critical, none were allowed to see her; but if she heard I was there, she always wanted me to pray with her; and often after offering a short prayer at her bedside, she would take my hand when about to leave her, and say, "Oh, pray for me;" And when I kissed her, she would look up so earnestly, saying: "I know you will pray for me."
"It pleased the Lord to bless the means used for her recovery, and now, nearly well, she cannot express her grat.i.tude to G.o.d for having preserved her. A few days since, when I told her of a poor woman who had returned from the hospital not much better, she gave me a dollar for her; indeed, her whole desire seems to be to do good, and bring up her children (she has a large family) in the right way. She said to me, "When you came at first to see me, and spoke to me about being a sinner, I did not see how it was that I could be so, for I felt I was as good as you was."
"These are cases that encourage us in our labors, for although our work at the time may seem fruitless, we may safely leave the seed in His hands, who maketh it grow and bud and blossom in His own good time.
"A woman whom I had not seen for some time, as she had moved away, told me a missionary had called to see her, and, talking to her as I had done, she asked if he knew me. He said, "No, he was a stranger; but his words impressed her so much, that I still hope she may soon be brought to Christ; and thus it often is, if we sow in faith, "one soweth and another reapeth." In many instances a Bible that I have left, neglected at the time, has, through another"s teaching, become precious; and some have shown me _one_ left by other teachers, to which I have had the privilege of directing the attention of the otherwise careless owner."
She continues her deeply-interesting narrative thus:
"We have commenced our Sat.u.r.day Sewing-school in a beautiful room, which has been secured for us, and hope to accomplish a great deal of good this winter through its means. My Sunday-school will be in connection with the Ludlow Street Mission, and I trust, as my health and strength seem renewed, I may be truly useful in working for the Master."