Chapter 49: The Patriarch of h.e.l.l
On a mountain behind the Jinyang District, a black puppy dragged its tail as it stood at the top of the mountain. It howled softly at the moon above, revealing a humane expression.
“Hahaha! I, the Patriarch of h.e.l.l, have finally escaped!”
The Patriarch of h.e.l.l was a Tribulation Almighty in the cultivation world after all, and all the girls would shudder whenever they heard his name. In order to bring his 3,000 beautiful wives and concubines when he was elevating to becoming immortal by going through the tribulation, he cultivated the Three-thousand Imperial Women Dao.
On the day of the tribulation, he brought 3,000 people to show his harem to all of the Mighties in the cultivation world. He had a grand open meeting that was live-streamed with his 3,000 beautiful wives and concubines. However, the Nine-nine Heavenly Tribulation eventually came and the patriarch lacked power. He himself was almost killed after going through three heavenly tribulations.
The puppy howled again.
‘That motherf*cker! Forget that you failed the tribulations for me. At least, give me a chance to cultivate to become a Rogue Immortal. In the end, your three f*cking bolts of lightning almost killed me. I escaped as a gush of soul remnant, then I was then sucked into a s.p.a.ce rip.’
‘My poor 3,000 beautiful wives and concubines! Never mind, I’ll even tolerate that.
‘But could you at least give me a proper body for a spiritual transfer? I can’t believe you sent me to this horrible dimension that severely lacks in spiritual energy. I’ve been looking around this world by draining my remaining spiritual energy, but I couldn’t find any mortal with a spiritual root after looking around for three days. Just when I attached myself to a dog, a car ran over me…’
This patriarch felt wronged! The black puppy had tears all over its adorable face.
However, none of those were important. Most importantly, he could not believe that he, the Patriarch of h.e.l.l, was being named Cutie!
‘Cutie, my a*s! Where is my pride? How am I supposed to pick up girls when I return to the cultivation world in the future if people find out about this?’
The patriarch might have snapped if he had not realized that Ye Chen was a cultivator when he was treating his wound.
“Although that brat’s cultivation base is low, he’s the very first cultivator that I’ve met in this horrible world. Fortunately, I’m smart enough to have run away, seizing the opportunity when they were sleeping. Otherwise, if that brat found out about my ident.i.ty, it would be terrible if he turned me into dog stew!
“Hmph. Although I’m not righteous, I’m a grateful person. Since he saved my life, I’ll forgive him for calling me Cutie.”
The black puppy left by dragging its two hind legs as it thought about this point. However, it realized that there was someone behind it. As it turned around, it had no idea when that person got there.
It was Ye Chen.
Ye Chen looked at it and said with a wry expression. “Where are you going, Cutie?”
The black puppy’s hair stood up on its ends immediately. It then wagged its tail immediately, trying to show how cute it was. ‘F*ck, I shall lose my pride for this!’
“So, should I call you the Patriarch of h.e.l.l? Or should I call you Cutie?” A teasing smirk appeared at the corner of Ye Chen’s lips. He had been following the puppy and heard everything loud and clear, including the howling.
It was unfortunate for the creature that Ye Chen could understand animal language.
The puppy took a few steps back in a whoosh as it was secretly shocked. ‘Why does this brat understand what I said? On top of that, he found out about my ident.i.ty!’
The puppy had a ferocious look in its eyes. It lifted both of its front legs and placed them on its waist as if it was standing akimbo like a human. It spoke the human language while tapping its foot, “I’ll give it to you for understanding me, you insignificant cultivator. That’s right, I’m the famous Patriarch of h.e.l.l, the Tribulation Almighty from the cultivation world. If you know what I mean, kneel to me right now. I might let you go if I’m in a good mood!”
It thought Ye Chen would definitely fall on the ground in fear when he heard the word ‘Tribulation’. After all, the Tribulation Stage was the peak stage for powerhouses even in the cultivation world, whereby he was one step away from becoming an immortal.
However, Ye Chen had no expression on his face.
The Patriarch of h.e.l.l was irritated, so he added, “Did you hear me? I’m a Tribulation Almighty on the Tribulation Stage!”
“So?” Ye Chen replied expressionlessly.
“Do you know what the Tribulation Stage is? You’re not even on the Foundation Building stage now. I can scare your soul out of your body with a fart alone,” the Patriarch of h.e.l.l roared, enraged.
‘You motherf*cker! Can’t you conform and react at least?’ he thought to himself.
Ye Chen said with a smile, “Why don’t you fart and see what happens?’
Subsequently, the Patriarch of h.e.l.l shrieked and grew a few folds bigger. He was as strong as a calf, then he charged at Ye Chen at high speed. “F*ck, where did all my pride go?” he muttered to himself.
“The Tribulation Stage, was it?” Ye Chen snickered. He extended his arm and grabbed his neck directly. Then, he picked him up.
“Please spare my life, Sir. This patriarch…no, Cutie regrets what it did!” the Patriarch of h.e.l.l began begging, “Cutie is willing to yield, Cutie is willing to yield!”
‘My pride is really worth nothing now,’ he lamented.
Ye Chen shook his head and said, “I don’t need you to yield. All I want is to eat dog meat. I’ll kill you, remove your skin, open your stomach and simmer you in boiling water. After that, I’ll slice you and toss the slices into a wok with a little bit of oil in it. I’ll then toss some ginger, spring onions, minced garlic, and stir fry it all continuously. Slurp!”
The Patriarch of h.e.l.l gulped, feeling a little hungry after hearing what Ye Chen said. He licked his lips immediately and said, “Sir, my meat isn’t tasty. There are many benefits to keeping me alive such as watching your house and getting me to guard the door. Also, your daughter has already taken me as her pet. She would be upset if you ate me.”
Ye Chen nodded by instinct. That made sense. “Give me your soul blood then,” he said calmly.
He hesitated for a moment and said, ‘Err, please agree to two conditions of mine!”
“Hmm, I have a sudden urge to eat dog meat again…”
“No, I’ll give it to you right away!” The Patriarch of h.e.l.l paused and spat something out. A red object that looked like an earthworm landed in Ye Chen’s hand.
Ye Chen then nodded in satisfaction.
As if he was going to cry, he said, “Erm, I have a tiny request. Could you look for a better body for my spiritual transfer in the future?” He no longer wanted to be a dog. He did not want to be threatened to be eaten all the time!
Ye Chen nodded. “Sure!”
The Patriarch of h.e.l.l hesitated for a second and smiled lecherously while rubbing his paws. “Can you find me a lady? If you can’t, bring me to a brothel in this terrible world. It’s been too long since I last did it. It’s been too torturous not to have a lady around.”
Ye Chen peered at his privates which were covered with his body and tail. He could not help but ask, “You? Want a lady?”
The Patriarch of h.e.l.l felt like he had lost his pride, so he smirked in embarra.s.sment. “I have my ways. Moreover, what’s the meaning of cultivating to become an immortal if it isn’t to pick up the hottest babe or the most beautiful fairy?”