Chapter 7: Lightly 6
When I remained quiet without giving a reply, teacher Ahn Kib.u.m smiled and glanced around.
“Everyone. I’ve talked about how composing, and music in general was like a maths equation right? Even a group of notes can be either nice or bad to listen to, due to the ways they are formed, and the methods to form them are mostly already decided. That’s why I said it was like a maths equation.”
He started talking like they were having a lecture. I think he was trying to teach something using this opportunity but… for me, it was quite a puzzling situation. I hope he would just do that later when I’m not here instead, because I was just talking about what I heard and it wasn’t anything special.
With cold sweat running down my cheeks, I racked my brain on potential excuses when teacher Ahn Kib.u.m added a follow-up.
“But there are aspects that are different from maths equations. I’ve mentioned how unlike maths that usually has just one answer, there are several answers in music, and that the person that gives the most beautiful answer out of the countless answers is a good composer.”
He stared at me with a smile.
“In that sense, I think this student has the talents to be a good composer. Now then… can you share the method you used to approach that answer?”
“Just by instinct…”
“Instinct. It is in fact the most fundamental answer to all questions, but could you talk about it in more detail perhaps? Like how the instinct of knowing that, ‘letting go of an apple from mid-air will let it drop’ had the basis of ‘seeing apples drop a lot’ behind it.”
“Ah…”
Since it would be strange to just walk away at this point, I tried reflecting deeply on the reason that I was able to catch out on the mistake alone, and the reason why the composing department students of this school who were second to no other schools couldn’t figure it out.
‘Because I was angry.’
Because I was angry, I was crazily looking out for anything that I could catch onto, which was the reason why I discovered it, I think. But if I replied with this, they would say that it was rude for a freshman and the atmosphere would be ruined in an instant…
‘Is it because I was more experienced than others in listening to music?’
If I answered with that, then they would obviously ask what nonsense this freshman was talking about so… the only option leftover was because I knew about the ‘current Kim Wuju’ beforehand but… glancing at Kim Wuju for a bit, I opened my mouth.
“I think I could figure it out because I’m in the opera department…”
“Oh, was that how it was?”
Kim Wuju.
He couldn’t see.
Although vision seemed to have no relation to music, that wasn’t really the case either, and being blind meant a huge disadvantage as an opera singer.
First, he couldn’t read the music sheets.
Although there were ‘braille music sheets’ for the disabled, they weren’t very widespread and were thus quite uncomfortable apparently. It was also hard to read musical notations.
In the sense that he couldn’t take in objective facts about the song, it was a huge minus. Like how we receive information through gestures and tones, apart from the actual sentences when talking, opera singers received various information through the music sheets.
But if he couldn’t see, it would be hard to take in those bits of information, and would have penalties in expressions and various other aspects.
Of course, there were ways around it.
If the lesson teacher stayed right next to him and taught him every single bit or if he copied other opera singers singing it, it would’ve been difficult to find any problems from Kim Wuju’s songs.
However, this was a new song that no-one had sung before, and was a song from the composing department which would be a bit strange to bring to his lesson teacher.
That’s why there were bound to be problems with the expression.
‘I had a.s.sumed such problems would occur because it was Kim Wuju.’
Glancing at Kim Wuju’s face, I threw away all those replies that had surfaced. I couldn’t embarra.s.s a friend saying that it was because he couldn’t see.
“That highlight part… is very familiar to the opera department so I think I felt something unpleasant while listening.”
“Familiar huh… which song was it familiar to?”
“Uh…”
There were problems one after another. Quickly I racked through my brain and barely managed to think of a similar song.
“That… there was a Italian art song called compagnia that came out recently and… that was a bit similar…”
“Hmm, it’s my first time hearing that song.”
Right? It wasn’t a very famous song and I intentionally picked something that wasn’t famous, hoping that he didn’t know it. However, the teacher went as far as to look it up on the internet before playing it and checking the similar part. He then tilted his head.
“It is indeed a bit similar but… it’s a bit vague. It was your first time hearing Group 8’s song and yet you discovered this immediately on the spot?”
No. I fit it in afterwards so it was natural for you to find it strange. I was anxious thinking that he might discover my lie and was glancing around when the teacher made a face of admiration.
“Amazing. Your name is… Jo… Yunjae? I’ll remember it.”
“Huh…?”
Now what was this about? I blinked my eyes while watching teacher Ahn Kib.u.m raising his fingers up with compliments.
“Very impressive. The memory that allowed you to instantaneously think of a song while listening to another song, as well as the musical a.n.a.lysing ability that allowed you to match that with the wrong part. All those instincts related to beats and figuring out where the problems lie are important abilities when composing.”
With a nod, he gave a smile.
“So… whenever you’re interested in composing, come find me at the staff room.”
“…Yes.”
“Now, let’s give a round of applause to our junior Jo Yunjae who gave us some great experience.”
Ah…
Clap clap clap.
Inside the cla.s.sroom that was filled with the sound of claps, I stood embarra.s.sedly and heaved out a sigh.
Finally… it was finished.
Looking around, I could see the cla.s.s which had a great turn of mood, excluding Kim Sukwon who had the same crumpled expression. There was Kim Wuju’s intricate smile, the intrigued faces of the uppercla.s.smen, freshmen cla.s.smates with surprise on their faces, Yu Minji clapping with a smile and Jun Shihyuk glaring at me with his arms folded.
And Song Mirae… had a somewhat blank expression and seemed to be staring at me with blurry eyes.
Was she still upset?
After finally returning to my seat, I clicked my fingers in front of Song Mirae’s unfocused eyes that were gazing at me.
“What are you doing”
“Uh? Ah, un.”
“Are you okay? Are you still upset? Do you want me to go say more stuff?”
Hearing my words, she slowly shook her head and met her eyes with mine.
“No… you don’t have to… it’s just…”
Light flickered and returned to her eyes as she made a cat-like smile before whispering.
“Thanks Yunjae.”
Her breath tickled my ears.
“I was actually very sad after hearing that sunbae’s words and… seeing Yunjae walk up like that, it was so cool… you know? You were saying all that so boldly and… my heart was fluttering so much. Hihit.”
“…”
I was worried for nothing.
*
Lying down on the bed, Song Mirae raised her arms slowly. Underneath the fluorescent tube giving off light, she spread out her fingers and could see the light creeping through.
Light…
Blankly, she stared at that and could feel her heart starting to beat faster.
And remembered the things that had happened that day.
Receiving the music sheets Yu Minji-sunbae gave a day before and following them to the composing department’s interim presentation without knowing anything; her song that had been in a mess and the sunbae that pointed that out; her head that turned blank and… Jo Yunjae who talked while staring directly at that sunbae.
“Haa…”
With a few grins, Song Mirae operated her phone and brought up the search bar of several SNS apps.
Jo Yunjae, Jo Yunjae…
After pressing hard on the enter b.u.t.ton, she saw the empty search results. He doesn’t do much SNS huh… thinking that, Song Mirae went back to her own SNS pages downhearted.
Twitter, instagram, facebook… She could see her account that was logged into all sorts of SNS websites. She then saw the few words and images that were there as well as the meaningless praising words and posts of males showing off…
Glancing over all that, she touched her dry lips for a bit.
“Not fun…”
It was somewhat different from before. The happiness that filled her for a short moment after seeing those comments now felt ever so meaningless.
Was it because of what happened today?
She stared blankly at her phone before pressing the back b.u.t.ton to leave her status page.
“…”
Song Mirae wanted to be the protagonist – a protagonist that monopolised the spotlight and the gazes of everyone. Was that perhaps the reason she was attached to these kinds of SNS and interests?
Looking at the list of males that were following her, she felt a thought pa.s.s through her head.
‘Boring.’
She was under the wrong impression. Protagonists weren’t made with others’ help but rather, it was something grasped by one’s own hands and through one’s own efforts.
Not her background nor the looks she was born with but…
Effort.
Like what Jo Yunjae had shown in front of everyone. That spot of the protagonist which he earned through his efforts… shined incomparably to the fake she had been aiming for.
“Suh-ah.”
“Why”
Lee Suh-ah
Seeing the back of her head that had been tied up to a ponytail, Song Mirae gave out a smile. Lee Suh-ah who was still studying despite the mid-sems being over already – she wanted to be like her at the start.
A protagonist who could always get first place through all the hardships and a person who had the talents as a soprano which was the protagonist itself.
Those thoughts started shattering after watching Han Dasom surpa.s.s her within one month, and seeing Jo Yunjae today made those thoughts change again.
Right.
Like how Jo Yunjae was able to find out certain things due to not being a composing major student,
‘Wouldn’t I be able to become a protagonist even if I’m not a soprano?’
I could do Carmen or something.
Let’s act out a gypsy lady unbound and free. Making a happy smile, Song Mirae whispered to the back of Lee Suh-ah’s head.
“Suh-ah Suh-ah. I feel so good today. Hihit.”
“…You promised to not talk to me while I’m studying.”
“Aang. C’mon listen listen. Do you know what happened today? I thought I became the female lead of a drama or something!”
“Ehew… what happened?”
Towards Lee Suh-ah who lost to her whining and turned around, she started talking on and on about how the sunbae that was picking a fight was shattered and how Jo Yunjae stood up for her. She also made a fuss saying that perhaps he did all that because he was interested in her.
Without even noticing Lee Suh-ah’s quivering eyes, she chattered endlessly before a thought suddenly appeared in her head.
“By the way… Yunjae’s household also seems to be not so well off right?”
“…Probably. He was wearing a school uniform during the Improvement Concert and is also studying hard, probably for the scholarship.”
Uh… that’s not good though…
After thinking about Lee Suh-ah and Jo Yunjae one after another in her head, Song Mirae made a teary expression. There was a reason why her best friend had to come first and Jo Yunjae whom she started to like more had to win the scholarship as well.
The problem was that there was only one person that could come first.
Then… who was I supposed to cheer for?
Song Mirae grabbed her hair and fell into deep anguish.