Get Back To You

First, Ivy looked for the time and noticed it to be early, seven in the morning. Scratching the back of her head and turning to find Parker and David arguing already.

"These guys!" she sighed, feeling the sleep ship sinking again to her exhaustion. Despite it, she tried to overhear what they were fighting about in the early morning.

"Parker! I don"t know how it happened. You have to trust me!" David spoke on his behalf, sincerely.

It appears that Parker woke up to find David lying on his stomach and snoring soundly. The scene enraged Parker, who prefers to sleep with personal s.p.a.ce. Ivy listened to them for a while and searched to find no trace of Bethany. Concluding that she must be sleeping peacefully in a room, locked from this racket.

Ivy"s phone ringed a bell to its notification. Removing it from her jacket, she looked to find a startling message.

"Come to my place in the morning!" - Ivy read Bridgette"s plain text.

Until then, her head was blank like an empty canvas, waiting to come to life. Following the message from Bridgette, a quick flashback replayed to her panic, and she woke up at once to her trembling feet.

****

"Come in," Bridgette greeted, and the two shared a sight. Ivy immediately averted her gaze away.

Bridgette could feel the awkward distance between the two. Nonetheless, she invited her inside. They settle inside the same position. Bridgette operated from the kitchen, and Ivy sat on the couch without a glimpse.

"Did you eat breakfast?" Bridgette asked from her place.

Hearing her voice listless alarmed Ivy and she replied, "No. I haven"t."

Unlike last night, their trade of words was short and crisp.

"Let"s eat together then," Bridgette sternly said to operate.

"No. It"s alright-"

"I did not give an option," Bridgette raised her voice, and Ivy dared not to speak up against her order.

Bridgette watched Ivy"s back stiffened like a stone. A part of her smiled inside from seeing Ivy turn to an obedient child. The usual, cool-headed spirit is no longer evident on her face, but a frowning look with downcast eyes could easily distinguish the distress.

Bridgette couldn"t find herself enjoying carelessly, because she knew Ivy was suffering within. Therefore, she ignored looking any further at her and focused on preparing breakfast.

There was no more conversation to partake, and Ivy sat like a statue, glued to her spot without moving a muscle or respiring aloud. Meanwhile, Bridgette concentrated on cooking a simple breakfast for the birthday girl and herself.

It included French omelet that she learned from her instructor recently, crispy bacon, and coffee.

While waiting arrested to her seat, Ivy looked down to reflect the place they sat late at last night, chatting, confessing, and leaving. The memories rushed again to close tears. But regarding the situation, she refused to let it out.

By the time her emotions settle in a quiet place, Bridgette called for her to join the table.

It was a small table that stood to divide the living room from the kitchen.

"Ivy stood up at once and marched like a robot to a seat. She sat down, still keeping her gaze lower than the line of sight, refusing to face the person calling for her.

Bridgette moved quickly to place a mug of coffee in front of her, along with the breakfast plate. The bacon still sizzled from the heat, and the steam from the omelet broke out in the air. Bridgette served herself next, followed to sit facing her guest.

It"s the first time since they are under close vicinity after the last night"s venture.

Ivy"s face slowly began to turn red, and Bridgette noticed every move of hers watchfully.

The omelet was soft, melting into like cotton candy, and the crispy bacon added its crunch to the gloomy atmosphere. It was an appealing breakfast, but Ivy couldn"t help but burst out to her exasperation.

"What the h.e.l.l, Bridgette?" Ivy fumed within a few seconds into eating together, startling Bridgette shockingly.

"What?" she replied, confused and disturbed.

"What is wrong with you?" Ivy shouts, to her losing composure.

Bridgette stared in a puzzle.

"Yell at me, get angry, or slap me, tell me I"m disgusting, get mad at me, do- do something. Why are you so calm about it?" Ivy raged.

"Because it"s you."

The anger paused for a moment. Ivy lost herself to the fright, but hearing Bridgette say stopped her from exploding.

"Don"t joke. I know you hate-"

"Yes, I did. It was in high school. I was behaving c.o.c.ky and never considered anyone"s feelings. I know what you mean, I regret it even now thinking about Giselle. What do you want me to do? Yell at you and throw you out of my life? Don"t make me angry, Ivy."

It came in as a comfort to hear such words from Bridgette, so unexpected, yet Ivy couldn"t help but fall into her worries.

"Why? Why are you-" she stammered to protest.

"I told you already. Because its Ivy, my closest friend, I can"t seem to get angry."

They ate in silence again, and in the midway at it, Bridgette decided to speak.

"About last night-" she began, and Ivy twitched at once, feeling all the horror she could since her birth and only wished to run away at once from despair.

"Ivy?"

...

"Ivy?"

...

Bridgette kept calling until she received the attention straight to face to face. It almost angered the actor in testing her tolerance.

"I want to talk about it," she firmly said.

Ivy"s eyes wandered lonely to her dismay, yet she agreed relentlessly.

"We"re not still kids to ignore or forget. If what happened yesterday happened for real, then I would like to address it as adults. Do you understand?"

"Hmm."

Receiving the green signal felt promising to proceed.

"So-" Bridgette began, "Do you mean it?" she asked.

Ivy hesitantly peered at her, almost looking bewildered.

"Do you actually mean it- about last- night?" she asked again.

"Yes."

Ivy could only answer it after a while.

To the h.e.l.l with being adults! Ivy felt a knot in her stomach growing every second, warning her to stay away from a possible explosion.

Bridgette sighed from hearing Ivy"s reply.

"Since when?" she added.

Ivy paused again, taking the time to be wary of her words and honest than planning a hoax. Bridgette is usually the one who prefers to throw a tantrum but, hearing her say that they discuss it maturely forced Ivy to obey.

"College," she replied.

"But- we didn"t study together!"

"When I was in college, I realized that my affection for you isn"t just a friendship. I don"t know when I started liking you. I can"t remember it. I- I just liked you from the beginning and wished to be your friend always."

Bridgette listened.

"I guess my feelings manifested by itself, without even consenting to me," Ivy smiled slightly in dislike.

It is the first time hearing for Bridgette, and she expressed much shock from learning this news, "Then, are you attracted towards-" Bridgette waited to ask.

"Yes."

Ivy admitted finally to her heart say.

"How did you reach that conclusion? You said that you only loved me. It could be a misunderstanding!" Bridgette almost threw herself front to confront.

Ivy disagreed.

"I-"

Bridgette questioned if Ivy had any experience with dating anyone else, especially of the same gender.

Ivy agreed.

**

Realizing the love for Bridgette left her insane.

To escape reality, Ivy volunteered to go on a blind date with any random guy she could find even slightly interested. However, her attempt failed to her frustration. She was not able to feel romantic or s.e.xually interested in a male. Even more agitated with herself, Ivy got approached by a female during her course in college, a few months later to her dating experience, and this time, she chose to test for herself.

The result frightened her for worse. She noticed the change in herself, admiring the female and finding her features attractive. The test confirmed it for her at last, yet she considered these thoughts to be vulgar and sinful. To escape from getting dirtied with possessing such unlike dreams, Ivy dedicated her life to her career, working day and night to keep the immoral thoughts at bay. She kept running away until she could no longer be able to breathe in peace. With no other choice left, at last, Ivy admitted to her truth, which implies that she is indeed gay.

It was harsh and brutal to digest.

**

"I had the opportunity to discover and confirm," she replied.

The news came to shake Bridgette, and she swallowed the bitter coffee to her anxious feeling.

"So, you are-"

"I"m gay, Bridgette," Ivy almost sounded harsh when admitting it to the person who sparked such emotions.

"I"m sorry," she added to her rude tone.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"It must have been a shock to hear it about me, isn"t it?" Ivy confessed.

"It is a shocking announcement, but I don"t feel anything right now because I could guess from last night," Bridgette explained.

Ivy sulks down again in shame. The sight almost broke Bridgette"s heart, to see her dear friend, the one who stuck by her side all this time, now looking as if broken to pieces.

"How are you feeling?" Bridgette inquired.

Ivy expected something different, but to hear for the first time, after a lengthy period, someone asks her that, it broke Ivy"s arrested heart, melting away the pain it carried all along.

"What to say! I don"t know what to do or how to accept myself?" Ivy genuinely answered.

"It"s not fair to think that you are straight from birth, and then suddenly it feels different, strange, and terrifying inside. To digest that I am someone who can only fall in love with a fellow woman, it seems very painful to accept myself. Upon discovering, I relate to Giselle, and it"s been haunting me ever since then."

"I understand," Bridgette said.

They both finished their food already, and Bridgette carried away the empty plates, requesting for another cup of coffee and Ivy approved.

Bridgette returned with another mug filled with black liquid and listened to Ivy continue to confess. She asked about everything that happened until now and heard from Ivy, the suffering tale of living a life with a secret.

Finally, when she listened to it all and Ivy wearied herself with the third cup of coffee, Bridgette waited. Ivy excused herself to use the restroom.

"Sure!" Bridgette nodded.

When it became silent without her, Bridgette"s mind kept thinking about Ivy. The more she considered, the more the guilt she carried for behaving viciously to Giselle caused her discomfort.

However, the matured Bridgette is now ready to face herself fairly. It helped her to think wise and make the right choice.

Ivy soon returned to find Bridgette again in the kitchen, handling the birthday cake she made for her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I can"t finish it all by myself. I thought your friends from work could share. Plus, I might have shows to do, so- I"ll pack it neatly." Bridgette said to cut the cake carefully and placed them next to each other in an orderly fashion.

Ivy didn"t respond, but went back to the table, back to her seat.

"Ivy?" Bridgette called in the middle of her work.

"So, what"s next?" she asked.

Ivy wondered, feeling a bit free in her chest from sharing it with a dear friend. She looked at Bridgette regretfully.

"What do you think?" Ivy said.

The end of the story is nearing, and both parties are ready to face the following truth.

"Ivy! I-" Bridgette"s voice shivered from hurting her friend.

Catching her response even without hearing it full, Ivy signaled to leave at it, not pay any attention to her craziness.

"I can"t. I can"t fall in love with you," Bridgette said out loud.

Ivy"s eyes went dark in an instant. She chose to end the topic without actually having to hear her say it, but now it seems helpless.

"I"m not-" Bridgette wished to explain, but Ivy stopped her from doing so.

"I know! I know already what will be the end of this. So- it"s alright," she convinced Bridgette of her negligence.

"I"m sorry, Ivy," Bridgette appealed.

"It"s alright. I know. I know it already." Ivy said.

"You know me more than anyone, even more than my parents," Bridgette sounded remorseful.

"No, it"s alright," Ivy faked a smile.

She may have been playing cool to this, but as a close friend, Bridgette knew that those words of her a.s.surance are only for this moment. The pain of hearing the rejection of a sincere love confession hurts as if one is getting burned in heaven mercilessly. There is nothing she could do to a hopeless love other than letting it go with respect.

"Did you finish packing?"

Ivy tried changing the topic.

"No, give me a minute."

It worked, and Bridgette moved her hands faster now.

As Ivy starts to leave after receiving the cake, Bridgette called her name.

"It"s cruel of me to say this, but I still want us to be best friends," she said.

Ivy waited to watch Bridgette, studying her face deeper than the ocean itself, testing herself if she could manage to fulfill her wish. And the answer was, "Of course," Ivy replied with a faint smile before turning to leave.