"It"s the heat," Salvina murmured.
"Never mind; the summer holidays will soon be here."
It sounded a mockery. Summer holidays would no longer mean Ramsgate, and delicious days of study on sunny cliffs, with the relaxation of novels and poems. These slowly achieved luxuries of the last two years were impossible for this year at least. And this thought of being penned up in London during the dog days oppressed her: she felt choking. Her next sensation was of water sprinkling on her face, and of Miss Rolver"s kind anxious voice asking her if she felt better.
Instead of replying, Salvina wondered in a clouded way where the school-managers were.
Even her nave mind had been struck at last by the coincidence that whenever, after a managers" meeting, these omnipotent ladies and gentlemen from a higher world strolled through the school, Miss Rolver happened to be discovered in an interesting att.i.tude. If it was the play-hour, she would be--for this occasion only--in the playground leading the games, surrounded by clamorously affectionate little ones.
If it was working-time, she was found as a human island amid a sea of sewing: billows of pinafores and ap.r.o.ns heaved tumultuously around her. Or, with a large air of angelic motherhood, she would be tying up some child"s bruised finger. Her greatest invention--so it had appeared to the scrupulous Salvina--was the stray, starved, half-frozen, sweet little kitten, lapping up milk from a saucer before a ruddy blazing fire at the very instant of the great personages"
pa.s.sage. How they had beamed, one and all, at the touching sight.
Hence it was that Salvina"s dazed vision now sought vaguely for the school-managers. But in another instant she realized that this present solicitude was not for another but for herself, and that it had nothing of the theatrical. A remorseful pang of conscience added to her pains. She said tremulously that she felt better and was gently chided for over-study and admonished to go home and rest.
"Oh, no, I am all right now," she responded instinctively.
"But I"ll take your cla.s.s," Miss Rolver insisted, and Salvina found herself wandering outside in the free sunshine, with a sense of the forbidden. An acute consciousness of Board School cla.s.ses droning dutifully all over London made the streets at that hour strange and almost sinful. She went to the post-office and drew out as much of her money as red tape allowed, and while wandering about in Whitechapel waiting for the hour of her rendezvous with Lazarus, she had time to purchase a coa.r.s.e but white table-cloth, a plush cover embroidered with "Jerusalem" in Hebrew, and a gilt goblet. These were for the Friday-night table.
V
But the Sabbath brought no peace. Though miracles were wrought in that afternoon, and, except that it was laid in the kitchen, the Sabbath table had all its immemorial air, with the consecration cup, the long plaited loaves under the "Jerusalem" cover, and the dish of fried fish that had grown to seem no less religious; yet there could be no glossing over the absence of the gross-paunched paternal figure that had so unctuously presided over the ceremony. His vacant place held all the emptiness of death, and all the fulness of retrospective profanation. How like he was to Moss M. Rosenstein, Salvina thought suddenly. Lazarus had ignored the gilt goblet and the shilling bottle of claret, and was helping himself from the coffee-pot, when his mother cried bitterly: "What! are we to eat like the animals?"
"Oh bother!" Lazarus exclaimed. "You know I hate all these mummeries.
I wouldn"t say if they really made people good. But you see for yourself--"
"Oh, but you must say _Kiddush_, Lazarus," said Salvina, half pleadingly, half peremptorily. She fetched the prayer-book and Lazarus, grumbling inarticulately, took the head of the table, and stumbled through the prayer, thanking G.o.d for having chosen and sanctified Israel above all nations, and in love and favour given it the holy Sabbath as an inheritance.
But oh! how tamely the words sounded, how void of that melodious devotion thrilling through the joyous roulades of the father. It was a sort of symbol of the mutilated home, and thus Salvina felt it. And she remembered the last ceremony at which her father had presided--that of the Separation when the Sabbath faded into work-day--the ceremony of Division between the Holy and the Profane, and she shivered to think it had indeed marked for the unhappy man the line of demarcation.
"Blessed art thou, O Lord our G.o.d, who hallowest the Sabbath,"
Lazarus was mumbling, and in another instant he was awkwardly distributing the ritual morsels of bread.
But the mother could not swallow hers, for indignant imaginings of the rival Sabbath board. "May _her_ morsel choke her!" she cried, and nearly was choked by her own.
"Oh, mother, do not mention her--neither her nor him.--_Never any more_," said Salvina. And again the new note of peremptoriness rang in her voice, and her mother stopped suddenly short like a scolded child.
"Will you have plaice or sole, mother?" Salvina went on, her voice changing to a caress.
"I can"t eat, Salvina. Don"t ask me."
"But you must eat." And Salvina calmly helped her to fish and to coffee and put in the lumps of sugar; and the mother ate and drank with equal calm, as if hypnotized.
All through the meal Salvina"s mind kept swinging betwixt the past and the future. Strange odds and ends of scenes came up in which her father figured, and her old and new conceptions of him interplayed bewilderingly. Her sudden vision of him as Moss M. Rosenstein persisted, and could only be laid by concentrating her thoughts on the early days when he used to take herself and Kitty to Victoria Park, carrying her in his arms when she was tired. But it made her cry to see that little tired happy figure cuddling the trusted giant, and she had to jump for refuge into the future.
They must move back to Hounsditch. She must give up the idea of becoming a "Bachelor": the hours of evening study must now be devoted to teaching others. Her University distinction was already great enough to give her an unusual chance of pupils, while her "Yiddish,"
sucked in with her mother"s milk, had become exceptionally good German under study. She might hope for as much as two shillings an hour and thus earn a whole sovereign extra per week.
And over this poor helpless blighted mother, she would watch as over a child. All the maternal instinct in her awoke under the stress of this curiously inverted position. Her remorseful memory summoned a penitential procession of bygone petulances. Never again would she be cross or hasty with this ill-starred heroine. Yes, her mother was become a figure of romance to her, as well as a nursling. This woman, whose prosaic humours she had so often fretted under, was in truth a woman who had lived and loved. She had ceased to be a mere mother; a large being who presided over one"s childhood. And this imaginative insight, she noted with surprise, would never have been hers but for her father"s desertion: like one who realizes the virtues of a corpse, she had waited till love was slain to perceive its fragrance.
A postman"s knock, as the meal was finished, made her heart give a corresponding pit-a-pat, and she turned quite faint. All her nerves seemed to be on the rack, expecting new sensational developments. The letter was for Lazarus.
"Ah, you abomination!" cried his mother, as he tore open the envelope.
He did not pause to defend his Sabbath breaking, but cried joyfully: "What did I tell you? Granders Brothers offer me travelling expenses and a commission!"
"Oh, thank G.o.d, thank G.o.d!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed his mother, her eyes raised piously. He took up his hat. "Where are you going?" said Mrs. Brill.
"To see Rhoda of course. Don"t you think she"s as anxious about it as you?"
Salvina"s eyes were full of sympathetic tears: "Yes, yes, let him go, mother."
VI
On the Sunday afternoon, feeling much better for the Sat.u.r.day rest, and scrupulously gloved, shod, and robed in deference to the grandeur of her destination, Salvina boarded an omnibus, and after a tedious journey, involving a walk at the end, she arrived at the West End square in which her sister bloomed as governess and companion in a newly enriched Jewish family. She stood an instant in the porch to compose herself for the tragic task before her and felt in her pocket to be sure she had not lost the little bottle of smelling-salts with which she had considerately armed herself, in antic.i.p.ation of a failure of Kitty"s nerves. Then she knocked timidly at the door, which was opened by a speckless boy in b.u.t.tons, who also opened up to her imagination endless vistas of aristocratic a.s.sociation. His impressive formality, as of the priest of a shrine, seemed untinged by any remembrance that on her one previous visit she had been made free of the holy of holies. But perhaps it was not the same boy. He was indeed less a boy to her than a row of b.u.t.tons, and less a row of b.u.t.tons than a symbol of all the elegances and opulences in which Kitty moved as to the manner born; the elaborate ritual of the toilette, the sacramental shaving of poodles, the mysterious panoramic dinners in which one had to be constantly aware of the appropriate fork.
Salvina had not waited a minute in the imposing hall, ere a radiant belle flew down the stairs--with a vivacity that troubled the sacro-sanct atmosphere--and caught Salvina in her arms.
"Oh, you dear Sally! I am _so_ glad to see you," and a fusillade of kisses accompanied the hug. "Whatever brings you here? Oh, and such a dowdy frock! You needn"t flush up so, silly little child; n.o.body expects you to know how to dress like us ignoramuses, and it doesn"t matter to-day, there"s no one to see you, for they"re all out driving, and I"m lying down with a headache."
"Poor Kitty. But then you ought to be out driving." She was divided between sympathy for the sufferer, and admiration of the finished, fine ladyhood implied in indifference to the chance of a carriage-drive.
"Yes, but I"ve so many letters to write, and they don"t really drive on Sundays, just stop at house after house, and not good houses either. It is such a bore. They"ve never shaken off the society they had before they made their money."
"Well, but that"s rather nice of them."
"Perhaps, but not nice for me. But come upstairs and you shall have some tea."
Salvina mounted the broad staircase with a reverence attuned to her own hushed footfalls, but her task of breaking the news to her sister weighed the heavier upon her for all this subdued magnificence. It seemed almost profane to bring the squalid episodes of Hackney into this atmosphere, appropriate indeed to the sinful romances of marquises and epauletted officers, but wholly out of accord with surrept.i.tious furniture vans. What a blow to poor Kitty the news would be! She dallied weakly, till the tea was brought by a powdered footman. Then she had an ingenious idea for a little shock to lead up to a greater. She would say they were going to move. But as she took off her white glove not to sully it with the tea and cake, Kitty cried: "Why what have you done with my ring?"
Here was an excellent natural opening, but Salvina was taken too much aback to avail herself of it, especially as the artificial opening preoccupied her mind. "Oh, your ring"s all right," she said hastily; "I came to tell you we are going to move."
Kitty clapped her hands. "Ah! so you"ve taken my advice at last! I"m so glad. It wasn"t nice for me to stay with you at that dingy hole, even for a day or two a year. Mustn"t mother be pleased!"
Salvina bit her lip. Her task was now heavier than ever.
"No, mother isn"t pleased. She is crying about it."
"Crying? Disgusting. How she still hankers after Spitalfields and the Lane!"
"She isn"t crying for that, but because father won"t go with us."
"Oh, I have no patience with father. He hasn"t a soul above red herrings and potatoes."
"Oh, yes he has. He has left us."
"What! Left you?" Kitty"s pretty eyes opened wide. "Because he won"t move to a better house!"
"No, we are moving to a worse house because he has moved to a better."
"What _are_ you talking about? Is it a joke? A riddle? I give it up."