"No one; but I discovered it from Sarah; she was unguarded."
"Well, sir," said Annie, blushing still, but laughing, "there is no reason for your being so grateful, I thought I would mend it, as I formerly laughed at it--and I hope it is neatly done."
"It is scarcely visible," I said, with a smile and a bow; "I shall keep this coat always to remind me of your delicate kindness."
"Pshaw! "twas nothing."
And running to the piano, the young girl commenced a merry song, which rang through the old hall like the carol of a bird. Her voice was so inexpressibly sweet that it made my pulses throb and my heart ache. I did not know the expression of my countenance, as I looked at her, until turning toward me, I saw her suddenly color to the roots of her hair.
I felt, all at once, that I had fixed upon her one of those looks which say as plainly as words could utter: "I love you with all the powers of my nature, all the faculties of my being--you are dearer to me than the whole wide world beside!"
Upon my word of honor as a gentleman, I did not know that I loved Annie--I was not conscious that I was gazing at her with that look of inexpressible tenderness. Her sudden blush cleared up everything like a flash of lightning--I rose, set my lips together, and bowed. I could scarcely speak--I muttered "pray excuse me," and left the apartment.
On the next morning I begged the squire to release me from the completion of my task--I had a friend who could perform the duties as well as myself, and who would come to the hall for that purpose, inasmuch as the account books could not be removed--I must go.
The formal and ceremonious old gentleman did not ask my reasons for this sudden act--he simply inclined his head--and said that he would always be glad to serve me. With a momentary pressure of Annie"s cold hand, and a low bow to the frigid Mrs. Barrington, I departed.
VI.
Five years have pa.s.sed away. They have been eventful ones to me--not for the unhoped for success which I have had in my profession, so much as for the long suffering which drove me, violently as it were, to seek relief in unceasing toil.
The thought of Annie has been ever with me--my pain, though such a term is slight, was caused by my leaving her. I never knew how much I loved her until all those weary miles were thrown between us. My days have been most unhappy, my nights drearier still; for a long time now, I have not thought or said "how good a thing it is to live!"
But I acted wisely, and honorably; did I not? I did my duty, when the temptation to neglect it was exceeding hard to resist. I went away from the woman whom I loved, because I loved her, and respected my own name and honor, too much to remain. It was better to break my heart, I said, than take advantage of my position at the hall, to engage a young girl"s heart, and drag her down, in case she loved me, to the poor low sphere in which I moved. If her father had said to me, "You have abused the trust I placed in you, and acted with duplicity," I think it would have ruined me, forever, in my own esteem. And would he not have had the right to say it?
So I came away from the temptation while I could, and plunged into my proper work on earth, and found relief; but I loved her still.
Shall I speak of the correspondence which ensued between the squire and myself? "Twas a somewhat singular one, and revealed to me something which I was before quite ignorant of. It is here beneath my hand; let us look at it. It pa.s.sed soon after my departure:
"Barrington Hall, Nov. 20, 18--.
"MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND:
"Since your somewhat abrupt departure, I have considered that event with some attention, and fear that it was occasioned by a want of kindness in myself, or some member of my family. I saw with regret that Mrs. Barrington did not seem to look upon you with as much favor as I hoped. If any word or action of mine has wounded you, I pray you to forget and pardon it.
"Your friend,
"C. BARRINGTON.
"P.S. Pray present my best regards to your mother, who was many long years ago, a very dear friend of mine."
My reply was in the following words:
"MY DEAR MR. BARRINGTON:
"Pray set your mind at rest upon the subject of my somewhat hasty departure: "twas caused by no want of courtesy in any member of the household at the hall, but by unavoidable circ.u.mstances. You will not think me wanting in candor or sincerity when I add that I think these circ.u.mstances were better not alluded to at present.
"Truly and faithfully,
"ST. GEORGE CLEAVE."
Thus ended then our correspondence. Three years afterward I received another letter, in a handwriting somewhat tremulous and broken. It contained simply the words:
"I am very ill; if your convenience will permit, may I ask you to come and see me, my young friend?
"C. BARRINGTON."
I need not say that I went at once. As I approached the old manor house a thousand memories knocked at the door of my heart. There were the fields over which I had rambled; there was the emerald lawn where so often I had wandered in the long-gone days of earlier years. The great oak against which I had leaned on that evening to watch the sun in his setting, and where Annie had whispered and pointed to my torn elbow, still raised its head proudly, and embowered the old gables in the bright-tinted foliage of autumn.
I entered. The old portraits I had loved seemed to smile; they saluted me sweetly, as in other hours; the old mansion appeared to welcome me--I saw no change, but Annie was not singing in the hall.
All at once I heard a light tinkling footstep; my heart beat violently, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. Was the queenly woman who came to meet and greet me, indeed the Annie of old days? I held the small hand, and looked into the deep eyes for some moments without uttering a word.
She was taller, more slender, but her carriage possessed a grace and elegance a thousand times finer than before. Her eyes were filled with the strangest sweetness, and swam with tears as she gazed at me.
"Papa has been waiting impatiently for you, Mr. Cleave," she said, in a low, sad voice; "will you come up and see him at once? he is very ill."
And turning away her head, the fair girl burst into uncontrollable sobs, every one of which went to my heart. I begged her earnestly not to yield to her distress, and she soon dried her eyes, and led the way into the parlor, where I was received by Mrs. Barrington, still cold and stiff, but much more subdued and courteous. Annie went to announce my arrival to her father, and soon I was alone with the old man.
I was grieved and shocked at his appearance. He seemed twenty years older.
I scarcely recognized in the pale, thin, invalid, the portly country gentleman whom I had known.
The motive for his letter was soon explained. The executorial accounts, whose terrible disarrangement I had aided, five years before, in remedying, still hung over the dying man"s head, like a nightmare. He could not die, he said, with the thought in his mind, that any one might attribute this disorder to intentional maladministration--"to fraud, it might be."
And at the word "fraud," his wan cheek became crimson.
"My own affairs, Mr. Cleave," he continued, "are, I find, in a most unhappy condition. I have been far too negligent; and now, on my death-bed, for such it will prove, I discover, for the first time, that I am well-nigh a ruined man!"
He spoke with wild energy as he went on. I, in vain, attempted to impress upon him, the danger of exciting himself.
"I must explain everything, and in my own way," he said, with burning cheeks, "for I look to you to extricate me. I have appointed you, Mr.
Cleave, my chief executor; but, above all, I rely upon you, I adjure you, to protect my good name in those horrible accounts, which you once helped to arrange, but which haunt me day and night like the ghost of a murdered man!"
The insane agitation of the speaker increased, in spite of all which I could say. It led him to make me a singular revelation--to speak upon a subject which I had never even dreamed of. His pride and caution seemed wholly to have deserted him; and he continued as follows:
"You are surprised, Sir, that I should thus call upon you. You are young.
But I know very well what I am doing. Your rank in your profession is sufficient guaranty that you are competent to perform the trust--my knowledge of your character is correct enough to induce me not to hesitate. There is another tie between us. Do you suspect its nature? I loved and would have married your mother. She was poor--I was equally poor--I was dazzled by wealth, and was miserably happy when your mother"s pride made her refuse my suit. I married--I have not been happy. But enough. I should never have spoken of this--never--but I am dying! As you are faithful and true, St. George Cleave, let my good name and Annie"s be untarnished!"
There the interview ended. The doctor came in, and I retired to reflect upon the singular communication which had been made to me. On the same evening, I accepted all the trusts confided to me. In a week the sick gentleman was sleeping with his fathers. I held his hand when he died.
I shall not describe the grief and suffering of every one. I shall not trust myself, especially, to speak of Annie. Her agony was almost destructive to her health--and every throb which shook her frame, shook mine as well. The sight of her face had revived, in an instant, all the love of the past, if indeed it had ever slept. I loved her now, pa.s.sionately, profoundly. As I thought that I might win her love in return, I thrilled with a vague delight.
Well, let me not spin out my story. The result of my examination of Mr.
Barrington"s affairs, was saddening in the extreme. He was quite ruined.
Neglect and extravagant living, with security debts, had mortgaged his entire property. When it was settled, and the hall was sold, his widow and daughter had just enough to live upon comfortably--scarcely so much. They gladly embraced my suggestion to remove to a small cottage near our own, in town, and there they now live--you may see the low roof through the window.
I am glad to say that my reexamination of the executorial accounts, which had so troubled the poor dying gentleman, proved his fears quite unfounded. There was mere disorder--no grounds for "exception." I told as much to Annie, who alone knew all; and her smile, inexpressibly sweet and filled with thanks, was my sole executorial "commission."