If you cannot reply in the affirmative, then examine your heart thoroughly, and you will find there, stifling the good that G.o.d has implanted, these three tyrants that have obtained dominion over, you: (1.) Pride; (2.) Ambition; (3.) Self-conceit.
From them have sprung: dissatisfaction and contempt of your life and its surroundings, restlessness, a longing for power and dominion over others, malice, habitual discontent, and incessant murmurings. Have you any further doubts? Then inquire of those with whom you live.
Ah! if this be indeed the sad result, then, whatever may be your age, close, oh! close those books, and seek once more those two elements of happiness you ought never to have forsaken, and which, had you made them the companions of your study, would have kept you pure and good.
I refer to prayer and manual labor.
XVII.
Listen to the story of a simple shepherd, given in his own words: "I forget now who it was that once said to me, "Jean Baptiste, you are very poor?"--True.--"If you fell ill, your wife and children would be dest.i.tute?"--True. And then I felt anxious and uneasy for the rest of the day."
"At Evensong wiser thoughts came to me, and I said to myself: Jean Baptiste, for more than thirty years you have lived in the world, you have never possessed anything, yet still you live on, and have been provided each day with nourishment, each night with repose. Of trouble G.o.d has never sent you more than your share. Of help the means have never failed you. To whom do you owe all this? To G.o.d. Jean Baptiste, be no longer ungrateful, and banish those anxious thoughts; for what could ever induce you to think that the Hand from which you have already received so much, would close against you when you grow old, and have greater need of help?
I finished my prayer, and felt at peace."
XVIII.
The work of the Sower is given to each of us in this world, and we fall short of our duty when we let those with whom we are brought in contact leave us without having given them a kind thought or pious impression.
Nothing is so sad as the cry, "I am useless!" Happily none need ever _be_ so.
A kind word, a gentle act, a modest demeanor, a loving smile, are as so many seeds that we can scatter every moment of our lives, and which will always spring up and bear fruit.
Happy are those who have many around them ... they are rich in opportunities, and may sow plenteously.
XIX.
Few positions in life are so full of importunities as that of the mother of a family, or mistress of a house. She may have a dozen interruptions while writing _one_ letter, or settling an account. What holiness, what self-control, is needed to be always calm and unruffled amid these little vexations, and never to manifest the slightest impatience!
Leaving the work without apparent annoyance, replying with a smile upon the lips, awaiting patiently the end of a long conversation, and finally returning calmly to the yet unfinished work--all this is the sign of a recollected soul, and one that waits upon G.o.d.
Oh! what blessings are shed around them by such patient souls ... but, alas! how rarely they are to be met with!
XX.
There are times in one"s life when all the world seems to turn against us.
Our motives are misunderstood, our words misconstrued, a malicious smile or an unkind word reveals to us the unfriendly feelings of others. Our advances are repulsed, or met with icy coldness; a dry refusal arrests on our lips the offer of help....
Oh, how hard it all seems, and the more so that we cannot divine the cause!
Courage, patience, poor disconsolate one! G.o.d is making a furrow in your heart, where He will surely sow His grace.
It is rare when injustice, or slights patiently borne, do not leave the heart at the close of the day filled with marvellous joy and peace.
It is the seed G.o.d has sown, springing up and bearing fruit.
XXI.
That which costs little is of little worth. This thought should make us tremble. In our self-examination we may experience at times a certain satisfaction in noticing the little virtues we may possess, above all, those that render us pleasing in the eyes of others.
For instance, we may like to pray at a certain place, with certain sentiments, and we think ourselves devout; we are gentle, polite, and smiling towards one person in particular; patient with those we fear, or in whose good opinion we would stand; we are devoted, charitable, generous, because the heart experiences an unspeakable pleasure in spending and being spent for others; we suffer willingly at the hands of some one we love, and then say we are patient; we are silent, because we have no inclination to speak; shunning society because we fail to shine there, and then fancy that we love retirement.
Take these virtues that give you such self-satisfaction, one by one, and ask yourself at what sacrifice, labor, or cost, above all, with what care you have managed to acquire them.... Alas! you will find that all that patience, affability, generosity, and piety are but as naught, springing from a heart puffed up with pride. It costs nothing, and it is worthless.
As self-sacrifice, says De Maistre, is the basis and essence of virtue, so those virtues are the most meritorious that have cost the greatest effort to attain.
Do not look with so much pride on this collection of virtues, but rather bring yourself to account for your faults. Take just one, the first that comes, impatience, sloth, gossip, uncharitableness, sulkiness, whatever it may be, and attack it bravely.
It will take at least a month, calculating upon three victories every day, not indeed to eradicate it,--a fault is not so short-lived,--but to prevent its attaining dominion over you.
That one subdued, then take another. It is the work of a lifetime; and truly to our faults may we apply the saying, "_Quand il n"y en a plus, il y en a encore._"
"Happy should I think myself," said S. Francis de Sales, "if I could rid myself of my imperfections but _one_-quarter of an hour previous to my death."
XXII.
BEFORE HOLY COMMUNION
JESUS
My child, it is not wisdom _I_ require of thee, it sufficeth if thou lovest Me well.
Speak to Me as thou wouldst talk to thy mother if she were here, pressing thee to her heart.
_Hast thou none for whom thou wouldst intercede?_ Tell Me the names of thy kindred and thy friends; and at the mention of each name add what thou wouldst have Me do for them. Ask much fervently; the generous hearts that forget themselves for others are very dear unto Me.
Tell Me of the poor thou wouldst succor, the sick thou hast seen suffering, the sinful thou wouldst reclaim, the estranged thou wouldst receive to thy heart again.
Pray fervently for all mankind.
Remind Me of My promise to hear all prayers that proceed from the heart; and the prayer offered for one who loves us, and is dear to us, is sure to be heartfelt and fervent.
_Hast thou no favors to ask of Me?_ Give Me, if thou wilt, a list of all thy desires, all the wants of thy soul. Tell Me, simply, of all thy pride, sensuality, self-love, sloth; and ask for My help in thy struggles to overcome them.
Poor child! be not abashed; many that had the same faults to contend against are now saints in heaven.
They cried to Me for help, and by degrees they conquered.