Li Xiuying had gone to h.e.l.l and back in those 48 hours and the rest of her days were soul numbing.No one even noticed Li Xiuying"s suffering or if they did, they just didn"t care. She tried to reach out to her family on multiple occasions. She just needed someone to listen. The Li family became increasingly irritated at Li Xiuying"s "constant pestering behavior" as they dismissively named it.
"Li Xiuying"s how can you be so selfish? You"re cousin just got engaged and we have a wedding to plan."
"Little Xiuying did big sister do anything to you? Are you not happy for big sister?"
"Li Xiuying, why don"t you just get over it? It"s been months already, you need to start working again."
"Yes, yes my dear niece. If you go back to work it will help take your mind off of everything and you can also help towards Yu Yan"s wedding."
Li Xiuying also booked a therapy session, she needed some counselling. If her own family weren"t going to help her then she would turn to a stranger.
On the day she was going to go to the session, Li w.a.n.g had found out. He stood in front door and forbade her from leaving their home and especially from seeing the therapist. Li Xiuying tried to reason with him, she tried to explain that she needed help in order to recover but he was having none of it. Li w.a.n.g told her that she can"t trust people outside of her family. That outsiders would probably sell her story to the media then everyone would know what happened to her. They would all look at her and judge her. She would never be able to live it down. So Li Xiuying trudged back up to her room. Her dark prison of isolation and loneliness.
Li w.a.n.g made it seem like it was for the sake of Li Xiuying"s reputation but in actuality it was to save the Li family. What if the therapist encouraged her to talk to the police? Or put other ideas in Li Xiuying"s head?
Li Xiuying finally realized that she truly only had herself to rely on. She was alone. She had to protect herself as best as she could so she had to avoid anything that reminded her of her ordeal. She never allowed people to touch her again. It made her skin crawl and would give her flashbacks of those 48 hours. She always had to wear gloves, polar necks, scarves, trouser and socks so her skin was always covered.
Li Xiuying just about tolerated doing examinations on people because she had control in those situations. Medical examinations were purely medical, there was nothing remotely personal about them. Li Xiuying also made sure that when she was conducting an examination there was always a chaperone present.
Li Xiuying started avoiding forming any sort of relations.h.i.+ps with people be that of a platonic or romantic in nature; they would just let her down anyway. Her life became her work and her work became her life.
...
The rest of Li Xiuying"s life; the mere 8 years before her death were like a black hole continuously sucking away at the small remaining shards of her heart and soul. Even after going through all of that, it was only on the day of her death that she truly looked into the face of evil.
Li Xiuying shook the thoughts out of her head and opened her eyes. She didn"t want to think about anymore heart-wrenching memories from her past life right now. She pulled the duvet just beneath her eyes and looked around. Her eyes felt puffy and raw from crying for so long.
Li Xiuying whispered: "I"m in my apartment. I"ve changed Sat.u.r.day 13th. I"m not who I once was anymore, I didn"t let history repeat itself."
Li Xiuying had two tracts of tears down her cheeks but she also had a small smile.
I"m changing my life, for the better. One small dose of revenge at a time.
She arched her back like a cat and yawned. She removed the duvet from her body.
Li Xiuying headed to the shower to cleanse not only her skin but her soul.
Li Xiuying spent over an hour in the shower, just enjoying the sounds of the water and the warmth of it on her skin. She turned the shower off and stepped out, she dried herself, moisturized and wrapped herself in a big fluffy white robe that pooled at her ankles.
She left the bathroom in search of her phone; it was in the pocket of her work pants. It was 8 pm already.
Li Xiuying headed to the kitchen and pulled out a packet of ramen from a cupboard and a small saucepan and bowl from another. She put some water in the pot from tap and began heating the ramen in water, 3 minutes later she poured in the spice mix and flavoring and stirred. She turned off the heat. Li Xiuying walked over to the fridge to grab and egg. She cracked it over her ramen. She let it poach for several minutes then gently poured everything into her bowl.
She got a pair of chopsticks from the cutlery draw and carried her bowl of ramen to her kitchen counter. Li Xiuying sat down and began eating.
She looked at her phone and looked through her contacts. She pressed Ren Daiyu"s name and sent a message.
Li Xiuying"s text: "Do you want to come over to mine tomorrow at 3 pm?"
Li Xiuying had just put down her phone on the counter when it vibrated.
Ren Daiyu"s text: "YES! Send me your address! I"ll bring lots of snacks."
Li Xiuying smiled and texted back her address.
I"m not alone in this life.