In one of these quick tip-and-run attacks I lie gazing happily through the square trap-door, and see a string of green b.a.l.l.s rise towards me from the centre of the Mole. As they rise they light up the whole of its dim curve, and I see that, instead of the usual boom of four anch.o.r.ed barges at its tip, to-night there are eight.
In a second I am beside the pilot.
"Roy! You know those four barges--off the tip of the Mole? Well, there are eight to-night! Don"t you think we should go back at once and have it "wirelessed" to the fleet so that the block ships know? We could be back in time for our flare stunt!"
He shakes his head.
"No! We better carry on now. It would probably be too late; and anyway, maybe they know!"
So I return to my scene of operations on the floor, and drop my last two bombs near the Mole. Our work over for the time being, we turn out to sea. As we move away, we see the shape of another great Handley-Page pa.s.s exactly over us as it flies on to attack Zeebrugge Mole for another hour. Our place is taken at once. The attack is being carried out, as arranged, in exact detail.
Now, some ten miles from the unseen land we fly up and down on a two-mile beat or so, waiting for the laggard minutes to pa.s.s. A few wan stars shine sparely through the mirk, which ever grows thicker and thicker around us. Now and again I see a misty chain of green b.a.l.l.s rise up in the distance, gleaming palely in the haze. Here and there, too, move the weak beams of the searchlights. At last it is one o"clock, and towards the north our steadfast gaze is turned as we await the great flare which should record in a moment of dazzling light the imminence of the terrific conflict that so soon is to take place. Far, far below in that dim waste of sea, unseen yet somehow felt, the great fleet of vessels must be drawing nearer and nearer, and these brave men must be standing on the decks ready to die. A few minutes pa.s.s, and then suddenly the pilot utters a cry.
"Look! The starboard engine"s boiling!"
At once the clamour of the engine ceases, and I look quickly to the radiator on the right, from the top of which is blown backwards a thin streak of white water and steam. As the engine cools through inaction, the ill-boding wisp of spray lessens and dies. Carefully, slowly, and with an evident anxiety, the pilot pushes forward the throttle, and the engines open out with a growing roar. On the little cap of the starboard radiator our eyes are fixed. Slowly the slender white scarf appears again, and grows wider and more evident in the darkness. It is the pale finger of doom....
"We better go back at once!" he says, and turns the machine towards the west.
With engines partly throttled we begin to glide slowly downwards. I stand up and peer below into the murk in an effort to distinguish the distant coast-line. The night is too thick, however, and I can see nothing.
The long slow glide continues. For a little while no anxiety ruffles the calm of my brain. I look vaguely at the compa.s.s, an instrument whose red and blue face has long been unfamiliar to me. I look at the height indicator, at the watch, and then gaze unperturbed below me to the black emptiness of mist. Suddenly I realise we are only four thousand feet above the sea, and are ignorant of our position. At that moment we sink into an enveloping haze, half cloud, half mist. Below, above, to right and left, we can see nothing--no stars, no light, no dim dark line of land. We steer towards the west, and anxiously I watch the height indicator. For ten uneasy minutes we move through this vapoury blackness, and then break through it. Two thousand five hundred feet, says the height indicator.
"I say, Roy, what shall we do? I can"t see anything below. I don"t know where we are at all!"
"Drop a flare, Paul," he replies very calmly.
I crawl into the back, and, pushing forward a small metal lever fixed to the side of the machine, I hurry forwards to my seat and look below.
Suddenly a light bursts into brilliancy beneath us, and I can see a ball of white fire hanging below a frail white parachute. By this quivering illumination is lit up a circle of cold oily water. We are still over the sea.
"Sea, Roy! What shall we do? I can see no lights. I don"t know where we are!"
Two thousand feet records the height indicator.
"Drop another flare ... we will be all right, old man!" says the splendid pilot.
Again I crawl into the back and push forward a lever. Again bursts out a light beneath a little parachute. Again I see below a dim circle of cruel, cold, waiting sea. All round us lies the damp empty mist. Far, far away I can see the white beam of a searchlight, but whether it be on land or on a boat I cannot tell. All I know is that it is too far distant to allow us to reach it.
Again, at fifteen hundred feet, I drop a parachute flare. An icy fear is creeping over my body now. Below, in the light of the third flare, still lies the sea. We must glide down helplessly into the water, in the darkness, and die....
"Oh, Roy!... Look! A boat!"
"Yes! I see it! I am going to land near it."
"But supposing it is a block-ship going into Ostend?"
"Fire white lights as quick as you can!" is his order.
For a moment we have seen in the pallid light of one of the hanging flares the wide shape of a boat moving slowly through the sea, leaving a broad white wake behind it. Near it, from one or more points, long, thin, smaller wreaths of white vapour lie across the water, and are evidently a smoke-screen.
Feverishly I begin to load my Very"s light pistol, and fire it--load and fire--and white ball of light after white ball drops and dies, drops and dies. Just over the top of the masts of the huge ship we sweep, and below I can see its decks, with all the orderly complication of a boat"s fittings, clear in the light of one of the flares.
"_Help! Help! Help! Help!..._" I scream with every ounce of my strength in a long unending succession of pleading cries, leaning far over the side.
"We will be all right! Cheer up, old man!" says the pilot, smiling at me. "We will be all right! Drop all the flares...."
I rush into the back, and push over quickly all the little levers by the side of the machine. I climb forwards into my seat, and see that we are only twenty feet or so from the water, which lies swelling and heaving with an oily heartless calm all round us, lit up by the wavering light of the parachute flares. For a moment I see the sides of a ship on the right sweep past us and vanish. Then I realise we are just above the sea, which now streaks below us: I see the two whirling discs of the propeller on either side; I put one foot on my seat ... ready....
CRASH! Crack--splinter--hiss--there is a sudden, swift, tremendous noise and splash of water, and I feel myself whirling over and over, spread-eagle-wise, through the air. I hit the water with a terrible impact ... there is a white jagged flash of fire in my brain, I feel the sudden agony of a fearful blow ... and sensation ends.
I become conscious of an utter fear. In sodden flying clothes, now terribly heavy, I find myself being dragged under the water as though some sea-monster were gripping my ankles and pulling me under the water.
My head sinks beneath the surface, and, inspired by an absolute terror, I frantically beat out my hands. I realise in a swift vivid second that I am going to die--that this is the end. As my head rises again I become conscious of the oil-glittering surface of the sea, shining strangely in the light of the three flickering parachute flares which hang above me like three altar-lamps of death. Here, in the irresistible weight of these soaked clothes, only semi-conscious and quite hysterical, I begin a ceaseless, piteous wail. "Help! Help!..."
In my weakness I sink again below the water, and thrust out my arms wildly to keep myself up, panting furiously, and crying for help.
Some twenty feet or so away the top wing of the machine lies out of the water at an angle, a dark high wall a hundred feet along. Inspired into frantic energy by my sheer dread of dying, I begin to fling myself along the surface of the water with the insane strength of despair. I kick out my heavy legs, so c.u.mbered with the great leather flying boots and huge fur-lined overalls. Frenziedly I beat my arms. Again and again I sink.
Nearer and nearer grows the shining surface of the tight fabric.
"Oh! Help! Help!"
Under the water goes my agony-twisted mouth. Again I rise and resume the unending cry to the empty night.
At last I reach the wing and begin to beat vainly upon its smooth steep surface with my sodden leather gloves. There is nothing on which I can grip, and with an ever-growing weakness I drag my hands down, down, down its wet slope like a drowning dog at the edge of a quay. It seems awful to die so near some kind of help. Kicking my legs out, I manage to move along the wing and at last come to the hinge, where the wing is folded back when not in use, and there I find a small square opening into which I can thrust my hand.
With a feeling of immense relief I let my body sink down into the water.
One hand and my head are above the surface. So weak am I, and so heavy my water-soaked flying clothes, that I can scarce hold up my weight.
Across my battered face is plastered the fur of my flying-cap. My strength is so rapidly ebbing away that I know that in but a few minutes I will have to leave go and drown unless I am helped. So once again I send my sad wail across the cruel shining waters. Now and again I hear a deep dull boom sound across the sea, and I presume that somewhere a monitor is sh.e.l.ling the German coast.
Now I suddenly see sitting astride the top of the plane, some nine or ten feet above me, a m.u.f.fled figure. I think at once that my pilot is saved and begin to shout out--
"h.e.l.lo! Roy! I can"t hang on! Oh! I can"t hang on! What shall I do? Is any one coming? Is there any chance?... I"m drowning, I"m drowning!"
"Hang on if you can!" comes the encouraging answer. "There is a boat coming!"
My strength, however, has almost gone, and it is an effort even to hold up my head above the water.
Now does reason whisper to me to leave go. You have got to die one day, it says, and if you sink down now and drown you will suffer scarcely at all. Since you have suffered such agony already, why not drift away easily to dim sleep and the awakening dreams of the new life. Leave go, it whispers, leave go. Tempted, I listen to the voice, and agree with it. Shall I leave go, I ask myself; and then instinct, the never absent impulse of life, cries out, "_No! Hang on!_" and I hang on with renewed strength inspired by the dread of approaching death.
"Hang on, hang on! The boat is coming up!" shouts the man above me.
"Oh! what are they doing? I can"t hang on any longer!"
"They"re lowering a boat--hang on--they"ll be here soon!" encourages the watcher on the wing.
Changing hands I turn round quickly, and vaguely see in the darkness a motor-launch or some such boat, twenty feet or so away.
"Hurry, hurry, _hurry_!" I yell, dreading that my strength may give out in these last moments of waiting. It seems utterly wonderful that I may be saved. I realise how fortunate it is that the machine is floating. If it were to sink but a foot or two, and the little hole through which my hand is thrust were to go under the water with it, then I should not be able to hold myself up, and would soon die. Still sounds the roar of near-by explosions: still shines the smooth cruel sea around me: still float the quivering flares above; then I hear the glorious sound of a voice crying--