GRICE. (_Plaintively_) We missed you, Celia.
SMITH. Miss Faraday couldn"t go without hearing Colonel Smith"s last message.
(AUNT IDA _laughs hysterically_.)
FARADAY. (_Crossing to_ AUNT IDA. _Sternly_) Not again, Ida, not again.
(AUNT IDA _relapses into a state of semi-oblivion_.)
SMITH. It"s not nearly ended yet.
STEELE. Well, she has had over two hours to hear it in.
SMITH. (_Scornfully_) Two hours? It was a long message. He lay for _weeks_ on his sickbed gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to--watching----
RALEIGH. Oh, yes, watching the Arab cows feeding at their anchors.
SMITH. Dhows, man, dhows!
RALEIGH. Well, dhows or cows, I don"t care. And as for Smith, I tell you, I am fed with the fellow.
(CELIA _explodes into laughter, covers her face with handkerchief, and sits_ R. _of table_.)
STEELE. (_Thinking_ CELIA _is crying_) You brute! You--you blundering idiot!
TARVER. (_Coming down_ R. _of_ CELIA) Even now he"s dead, he"s kept you from the concert to-night. My agent told me that we just shouldn"t do it. He expects I will lose by a hundred votes.
FARADAY. How"s that?
CELIA. (_Looking up quickly_) Oh, no, Bobby, it"s not too late. We"ll help you. (_Rises and crosses to_ SMITH, _who is_ R.)
SMITH. I am at your service, Miss Faraday.
TARVER. (_To_ SMITH, _eagerly_) And you"re some good--aren"t you?
(_Goes up to_ PHYLLIS, _back_ C.)
FARADAY. We may call on you later, Vavasour.
SMITH. Do. Do.
FARADAY. (_Taking_ ADMIRAL _by the arm and going_) Come along, Admiral. Come and have a cigar and we"ll talk it over. (_Spoken off stage_ R.) Smith or no Smith, we must win this seat.
TARVER. (_Taking_ PHYLLIS" _arm_) Madge--Evelyn. Let"s go and count the names of the hundred beasts who won"t vote for me.
(PHYLLIS _and_ TARVER _and_ MADGE _move to door_ C. _and exit_ R.)
EVELYN. (_Who has moved up to door, turns in door. Coquettishly to_ STEELE _and_ RALEIGH) I"m afraid I can"t count--without some big, strong man to help me.
RALEIGH. (_Looking round_) Ask Steele. He took all the "rithmetic prizes at his kindergarten.
STEELE. (_Looking round_) I"ll come in one minute, Lady Trenchard.
There"s something on my program I _must_ show to Miss Faraday.
(_Indicating program_.)
EVELYN. (_At door_) Well--! When Celia has quite done with _all_ of you---- (_Exit rapidly_.)
(_Clock chimes half hour. A moment after_ EVELYN _has gone off, she presumably switches off lights in room off_ C.--_then third border is put out and no light except glow from fire remains. The doors remain wide open_.)
RALEIGH. Half past ten! I thought Colonel Vavasour"s train left at ten, Miss Faraday.
CELIA. (_Confused_) Oh, did it?
SMITH. (_Coolly_) Well, didn"t it? And in any case, Mr. Faraday"s clock is wrong.
STEELE. (_Taking out his watch_) Wrong? Not a bit of it.
RALEIGH. (_Also takes out his watch_) I make it ten thirty-two.
(_Ironically_) Perhaps your watch will correct me, Colonel Vavasour.
SMITH. (_Crosses_ R.C. _Absent-mindedly feels for his watch and starts as he realizes his mistake_. CELIA _sees this and the true situation flashes on her. She swings up stage for a moment to cover her shock and embarra.s.sment and then returns and faces_ SMITH, _as she leans against the chair_ L. _of table_. RALEIGH _and_ STEELE _have turned to each other and are discussing the situation, for the moment ignoring_ CELIA _and_ SMITH. _As_ CELIA _faces_ SMITH, _he flounders through his explanation_) Well, you see, I--I--I--I--I left my watch in town to be cleaned. It ran too fast.
CELIA. (_Sarcastically_) Like the inventive genius of its owner, perhaps, and your scarf pin; no doubt, you"ve taken advantage of this period of mourning to have all your jewelry attended to. (_Turns away_ R.)
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Green Stockings" _Page_ 85]
SMITH. Miss Faraday, please----
CELIA. (_Turning back_) Colonel Vavasour, I think you said your name was. You will allow me, won"t you, to lend you the watch you so kindly brought from poor Colonel Smith. Otherwise, you know, you might be a very long time without your own, and since your grief must now be lessened, by having shared it with me, perhaps you might be induced to mitigate your mourning and wear his pin. Do let me send them to you.
And I"ll include a little nursery fable which perhaps you know, called, "The Tortoise and the Hare," because I think--I"ve caught up.
Now, I"ll say good-night to you, Colonel Vavasour, and good-bye.
SMITH. (_Seriously_) Good-bye?
CELIA. (_Moving to_ C. _and speaking to_ RALEIGH) There is a midnight train to town?
RALEIGH. Oh, yes.