I focused on the Muse. Miku introduced me to the girl. "Marcus, this is Emerson Baxter. She"s gonna help us save the world." I looked at her quickly, then went back to the Muse. She was too short. Her hair was a tangled mess. Her T-shirt had a cartoon pig on it and was ugly and ill-fitted.
I wanted her.
I wanted to touch her. My eyes wanted-needed-to see her again, to do nothing more than to spend the rest of forever getting to know her.
Angry at my visceral reaction, I forced every part of my body to stay put and focus on the Muse. I had to give her instructions, but I would not, could not, allow myself to look her again.
What the heck is going on? Why can"t I focus? I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. No, still can"t make out the words in front of me. There was a buzzing in my ear, a painful sound that came from looking away from her. I didn"t ever want to look away from her.
I didn"t talk to her, I talked at her. I never took my face away from the Muse. I told her that we needed to know everything about her and that she had to stay in crowds. The Akons could not attack her in crowds. She told me that they came after her already. That enraged me.
Then she said she wanted to go home. I wondered what her home was like. What kinds of things she liked. Was she the girly type with tons of teddy bears and scented writing paper? Or the rock "n" roll poster type who had no problem breaking the rules? What was her favorite song? Where was she when she first heard it? Who was she with when she first heard it? Was she with friends? Family? A guy...? Stop it, Marcus. Stop it right now.
I told Reese to Blink her home. I dared to look in her direction just then. She was going to get into Reese"s arms. I had to leave the room. For some reason I couldn"t bear to see her in another guy"s arms.
I told Ameana we needed to talk. We went into her room. But it"s like the girl was still there. Her powers didn"t diminish because she was no longer near. If anything, they seem to get stronger.
Once in the room, Ameana looked at me strangely.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Why?"
"You looked flushed. And why were you so rude to her?"
"Are we sure she"s human?"
"Yeah, I asked Rio earlier and he said she has a soul."
"Maybe she"s a p.a.w.n."
"I don"t think she"d do evil things for money. When I pointed the gun at her, she looked terrified. She"s not used to being around them. I"ve never met a p.a.w.n who wasn"t familiar with weapons. And if she was working for Lucy, why would Lucy send people after her?"
"Yeah, that"s true."
"What"s going on? Why are you so unfocused?"
"I don"t know. Rage took a lot out of me. He burned down a building and lots of people were hurt."
"I"m sorry. Did anyone die?"
"No, but it was...bad."
I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I sat down in the chair by the window. I wasn"t lying (not completely, anyway): the blaze was hard to watch. I wondered if there had been a way to stop Rage before he set the building on fire. Any time humans get hurt, it gets to us. For me, the guilt is worse. If I were a better leader, would any humans be harmed at all? I looked out the window, deep in thought about the humans who had been hurt in past missions.
Then I wondered about the girl. Something could happen to the girl. My chest tightened and my jaw clenched. I ran my hands through my hair again. Ameana always said that was my way of telling her that I needed time out from being in charge. I guess she was right, "cause I really didn"t want to lead anything at that moment.
Ameana came over to me and sat on my lap. She weighs almost nothing. She wrapped her hands around my neck. I lifted my head and looked into her face. After all this time we still have secrets the other has yet to discover. Looking in her eyes, I was certain there were things she hadn"t told me. I was also aware of how much I enjoyed being in her embrace. She had a softness to her that she rarely lets anyone see.
"Hi," she said simply.
"Hey."
"What are you thinking about?"
"Work."
"Is that the only thing you can think about?"
"Can you suggest something else I could focus on?"
She leaned in closer until our lips were almost touching. She never kisses me first. She likes to test me to see if I can get close to her and not kiss her. I never pa.s.s the test. I cannot be that close to her and not touch her. I moved in and closed the gap.
Her lips are soft and giving. She leans in and kisses my ear and down my neck. I gently return the favor. I"m slightly more forceful in kissing her than she was in kissing me.
It had been so long since we got close. It felt great to hold her again. Her skin was flawless and warm. I hold her face in my hands. I kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks. Then I tug gently at her lips. I make my way down her neck. I know it"s about to happen, and I know she hates it, but I can"t stop myself. I was about to make her Shine. A Shine is a hickey on an angel.
A hickey on a human is actually a broken blood vessel that appears after a love bite. Since angels don"t have blood, what appears comes from the glow and pureness of our souls. It"s silver and luminescent. Also, instead of appearing on our necks, for some reason, it appears in our hair.
Ameana seldom gives me one. She thinks it is unbefitting for a First Guardian to walk around with a streak of shining hair. But every now and then I would give her one. I don"t think she minded, per se. Shining only lasted a day or two depending on how much work went into giving it.
I think her issue was the team making fun of her. Namely, Reese and Jay. They were almost always the first ones to notice. She would wear a hat or try to hide her hair so that the Shine was sort of hidden. But they always knew.
Sure enough, the moment I pulled away from her, a long strand of Ameana"s hair started glowing. Within seconds her head was completely illuminated.
"I"m sorry, Mimi," I said ruefully.
"Yeah, you look really sorry," she laughed as I went in for another kiss.
Good, Marcus. This is good. Kissing Ameana and not thinking about the human. That"s very good. Yeah, I"m not thinking about her at all....
CHAPTER EIGHT: A QUESTION OF DUTY.
It"s a good thing angels don"t sleep. I don"t think I could have had I been able to. I couldn"t get Emerson off my mind, which I found irritating and completely unproductive. Everyone in the house was either guarding her or recharging. But I couldn"t stand still long enough to recharge. My mind was on overdrive, trying not to think about her.
When Ameana and I arrived at school the next morning, I wanted to lay eyes on the human so badly, it hurt. Before I could, I got a text from Reese about a possible lead down on Wall Street.
We had just arrived at the location when Rio called and told us to come back to Livingston Academy. He said Emerson was under attack.
When I busted into the cla.s.sroom and saw her lying there, it killed me. I had never been hit with such a powerful wave of sorrow. Never in my life as a human or an angel, did I feel such utter despair. Then I turned and saw Agony, and I had a place I could channel all my rage. And I did. I had never used that much force on anyone. Agony begged and begged for me to just kill him, but I didn"t. I had never reflected that long on someone. It wasn"t necessary. At that point it was pure torture, and that was very unangellike, to say the least.
We finished with him, and the others went to tend to Emerson. I told them I would stay behind to be sure there were no more Akons or Runners. The truth is, I couldn"t take watching her being laid out and put on a stretcher.
I walked into the hospital room later. I looked everywhere but at her. I couldn"t. The others asked how she was. I should have done the same, but instead I was angry. When I finally spoke, I reprimanded her for not following instructions. Then I walked out of the room and headed down the hall. Ameana followed me.
"Why are you such a jerk to her?"
"She had no right to endanger herself like that. She could have died."
Then I realized that was the real reason for my behavior, the real reason why I blasted the girl for not following orders.
I could have lost her....
I told everyone to give her some s.p.a.ce. Maybe this was all too much for her and she needed to take a moment. They all agreed.
Later that evening, Rio was in his room when he saw onyx, the color that meant that a human being"s life was in danger. The human who was onyx was somewhere nearby, Rio informed us. That meant that he and I were going to get into another argument.
Whenever Rio"s waves turn onyx, his first instinct is to help the person whose life is in danger. I cannot allow him to do that. The only person whose life we could save was Emerson. That"s because her life is tied to humanity"s existence.
But to go out and a take a soul from Death that had nothing to do with the battle is strictly prohibited. The person who was radiating onyx had to die if that is what Time, Fate and Death had decided. Were we to interfere in any way, the council would punish us.
"I think it"s a woman. She"s only three blocks away," Rio pleaded.
"I"m sorry."
"That"s bull, Marcus. You saved that old lady from the fire."
"I saved her from a fire Rage set, to distract me. That has to do with our mission. Anyone who doesn"t have to do with our mission-"
"-can just die, right?"
"Rio."
"That sucks, and you know it. How can we just sit here knowing that someone is being killed?"
"It"s New York. Someone is always getting killed."
"That"s real funny, Marcus. I wonder how funny it would be if your little girlfriend was the one about to be murdered."
"Ameana can take care of herself."
"I wasn"t talking about her."
"I"m not doing this with you, Rio. I"m not in the mood."
"She"s only three blocks away. We can save her."
"No, we can"t."
"Fine, I"ll do it myself."
"No one can save her. It"s her time to die. You know that."
"She needs help. What good are we if we can"t help them?"
"We are helping. In the way that Omnis told us to. We can"t stop Death from doing its work."
"It"s just one woman. So, I save one lousy woman. What"s the big deal?"
"Let it go."
"She"s dying."
He rushed past me and went up on the roof. I ran after him.
"You will not save her."
"Screw this. She needs me."
He prepared to fly off. I put my hand on his shoulder. He looked into my eyes. He knew I was serious. He knew that I could and would take him down.
Jay had heard us going at it. He came up to us.
"C"mon, Rio. Let"s go, man," Jay said to him.
Rio wouldn"t blink. He was dark and angry.
"C"mon, man, let"s go," Jay said again. Rio looked at me one last time with so much anger that if emotions killed, I would have died again.
Jay tried to talk to Rio, but he wanted to be alone. He went in his room. I went for a walk. The rest of them were all in the living room waiting for what they knew would come next. Soon the onyx color wave would disappear and the person who feared for her life would be dead. Rio would throw something at the wall. He always did.
I didn"t tell Rio, but a few moments after the onyx color had begun to fade, I went around and found the body three blocks away from our house. She was a nice looking lady in her forties. She had been shot in the chest near the ATM.
I saw the guy who did it. I threw a Holder at him. The bubble kept him in place while I called the cops. I knelt on the ground beside the woman. She was scared. Her blood mixed with the slush on the ground. She looked up at me with pure fear. I put her head in my lap and held her hand. I leaned in close and talked to her.
"Where you"re going is so beautiful, you"ll never cry again." She looked up at me. I think what I said helped. I hope it did.
Back at the house, an angry cry and the sound of breaking gla.s.s came from Rio"s room. The onyx was gone. The woman was dead.
The rest of the week, Rio was irritable and hard to be around. I couldn"t really blame him. He was only doing what he felt was right. I would have done the same. We know that somewhere on Earth someone dies every few minutes, but it"s different when you can feel their fear and know that you could help.
Emerson came over to the house one afternoon to make peace. That annoyed the heck out of me. It was bad enough I had to wrestle myself to stay away from her and that my girlfriend was barely talking to me. What was the point of her coming over if she wasn"t going to tell us her secret?
So, I"m still a jerk in Emerson eyes. But I thought I might try and mend things with Rio. That way I could at least try and get my friend back.