She was looking round this strange bedroom for the comfort of familiar pictures, but there was nothing on these pink walls except a view of the Matterhorn. Monica was kneeling to say her prayers, and in the stillness the frost outside seemed to be pressing against the window-panes.
Pauline thought it was rather unfair of Monica to fade like this into unearthly communications; and she knelt down to pray somewhat vagrant prayers into the quilted eiderdown that symbolized the guest-room"s luxurious chill. She longed to look up in aspiration and behold Saint Ursula in that tall bed of hers or cheerful Tobit walking with his dog in the angel"s company, and in the corner her own desk that was full of childish things. She rose from her knees at the same moment as Monica, who at once began to talk lightly of the tiresome people at dinner and seemed utterly unconscious of having wounded Pauline"s thoughts. Yet when the room was dark, for a long while these wounded thoughts danced upon the wintry air that breathed of Wychford. "_Even supposing Guy is in love with you._" It was curious that she could not feel very angry with Monica. "_Even supposing Guy is in love with you._" It really seemed a pity to fall asleep: it was like falling asleep when music was being played.
The subject of Guy was not mentioned again, but during the days that remained of the visit, Pauline scarcely felt that she was living in the Strettons" house, and was so absent in her demeanour that Monica was disturbed into what was for her a positive sociableness to counteract Pauline"s appearance of inattention. To consummate the vexation of the visit there came a sudden thaw two days before they left, and Oxford was ankle-deep in slush. Finally Pauline and Monica were dragged through the very nadir of depression when on their last night they were taken out to dinner in trams and goloshes through such abominable conditions of weather.
"Fancy not ordering a cab," whispered Monica with cold disapproval.
"Perhaps they can"t afford it," Pauline suggested.
"They can afford to go to Madeira," answered Monica, "and buy all those stupid knick-knacks."
"Well, Monica, they are your friends, you know," said Pauline.
However, the first of February arrived next morning, and Oxford was left behind. Pauline sighed with relief when they were seated in the train, and the twenty miles of country to Shipcot that generally seemed so dull were as green and welcome as if they were returning from a Siberian exile.
"You know, Monica, I really don"t think we ought to stay with people. I don"t think it"s honest to spend such a hateful week as that in being pleasant," she declared.
"I didn"t notice that you were taking much trouble to hide your boredom," said Monica. "It seems to me that I was always in a state of trying to steer people round your behaviour."
"Oh, but Professor Stretton loves me," said Pauline.
She was trying not to appear excited as the omnibus swished and slapped through the mud towards Wychford. She was determined that in future she would lead that enclosed and so serene life which she admired in her eldest sister. n.o.body could criticize Monica except for her coldness, and Pauline knew that herself would never be able to be really as cold as that however much she might a.s.sume the effect.
"Grand weather after the snow," said the driver.
The roofs of Wychford were sparkling on the hillside, and earth seemed to be turning restlessly in the slow winter sleep.
"This mud"ll all be gone with a week of fine days like to-day," said the driver.
Plashers Mead was in sight now, but it was Monica who pointed to where Guy and his dog were wandering across the meadows that were so vividly emerald after the snow.
"I think it is," agreed Pauline indifferently.
In the Rectory garden a year might have pa.s.sed, so great was the contrast between now and a week ago. Now the snowdrops were all that was left of the snow; and a treasure of aconites as bright as new guineas were scattered along the borders. Hatless and entranced the Rector was roaming from one cohort of green spears to another, each one of which would soon be flying the pennons of Spring. Pauline rushed to embrace him, and he without a word led her to see where on a sunny bank Greek anemones had opened their deep-blue stars.
"Blanda," he whispered. "And I"ve never known her so deep in colour.
Dear me, poor old Ford tells me he hasn"t got one left. I warned him she must have sun and drainage, but he would mix her with Nemorosa just to please his wife, which is ridiculous--particularly as they are never in bloom together."
He bent over and with two long fingers held up a flower full in the sun"s eye, as he might have stooped to chuck under the chin a little girl of his parish.
Monica had brought back a new quartet, which they practised all that Candlemas Eve. When it was time to go to bed Mrs. Grey observed in a satisfied voice that after all it must have been charming at the Strettons.
"Oh, no, Mother, it was terribly dull," Pauline protested.
"Now, dear Pauline, how could it have been dull, when you"ve brought back this exquisite Schumann quartet?"
Margaret came to Pauline"s room to say good-night, sat with her while she undressed and tucked her up so lovingly that Pauline was more than ever delighted to be back at home.
"Oh, Margaret, how sweet you are to me. Why? Is it because you really do miss me when I go away?"
"Partly," said Margaret.
"Why are you smiling so wisely? Have you put something under my pillow?"
Pauline began to search.
"There"s nothing under your pillow, except all the thoughts I have to-night for you."
Once more Margaret leaned over and kissed her, and Pauline faded into sleep upon the happiness of being at home again.
Next day after lunch her mother and sisters went to pay a long postponed call upon a new family in the neighbourhood, because Margaret insisted they must take advantage of this glorious weather which would surely not last very long.
Pauline spent the early afternoon with the Rector and Birdwood, writing labels while they sowed a lot of new sweet-peas which had been sent to the Rector for an opinion upon their merits. The clock was striking four when Guy strolled into the garden. Somehow Pauline"s labels were not so carefully written after his arrival, and at last the Rector advised her to take Hazlewood and show him Anemone Blanda. They left the big wall-garden and went across the lawn in front of the house to the second wall-garden, where most of the Rector"s favourites grew as it pleased them best.
"Oh, they"ve all gone to bed," said Pauline.
Guy knelt down, and opened the petals of one.
"They"re exactly the colour of your eyes," he said looking up at her.
Pauline was conscious that the simple statement was fraught with a significance far greater than anything which had so far happened in her life. It was ringing in her ears like a bugle-call that sounded some far-flung advance, and involuntarily she drew back and began to talk nonsense breathlessly, while Guy did not speak. Nor must she let him speak, she told herself, for behind that simple comparison how many questions were trembling.
"Oh, I wonder if the others are back yet," she finally exclaimed, and forthwith hurried from the garden toward the house. She wished she must not look back over her shoulder to see Guy following her so gravely. Of course, when they were standing in the hall, the others had not come back; and the house in its silence was a hundred times more portentous than the garden. And what would Guy be thinking of her for bringing him back to this voicelessness in which she could not any longer talk nonsense? Here the least movement, the slightest gesture, the most ordinary word would be weighted for both of them with an importance that seemed unlimited. For the first time the Rectory was strangely frightening; and when through the silent pa.s.sages they were walking toward the nursery, it was the exploration of a dream. Yet, however undiscoverable the object that was leading them, she was glad to see the nursery door, for there within would surely come back to her the ease of an immemorial familiarity. Yet in that room of childhood, that room the most bound up with the simple progress of her life, she found herself counting the birds, berries and daisies upon the walls, as if she were beholding them vaguely for the first time. Why was she unpicking Margaret"s work or folding into this foolish elaboration of triangles Monica"s music? And why did Guy behave so oddly, taking up all sorts of unnatural positions, leaning upon the rickety mantelshelf, balancing himself upon the fender, pleating the curtains and threading his way with long legs in and out, in and out of the chairs?
"Pauline!"
He had stopped abruptly by the fireplace and was not looking at her when he spoke. Oh, he would never succeed in lifting even from the floor that match which with one foot he was trying to lift on to the other foot.
"Pauline!"
Now he was looking at her; and she must be looking at him, for there was nothing on this settee which would give her a good reason not to look at him. The room was so still that beyond the closed door the hoa.r.s.e tick of the cuckoo-clock was audible; and what was that behind her which was fretting against the window-pane? And why was she holding with each hand to the brocade, as if she feared to be swept altogether out of this world?
"Pauline!"
Was it indeed her voice on earth that said "yes"?
"Pauline, I suppose you know I love you?"
And she was saying "yes."
"Pauline, do you love me?"
And again she had said "yes."
Outside in the corridor the cuckoo snapped the half-hour: then it seemed to tick faster and a thousand times faster. She must turn away from Guy, and as she turned she saw that what had been fretting the window-pane was a spray of yellow jasmine. Upon the cheek that was turned from him the dipping sun shed a warm glow, but the one nearer was a flame of fire.
"Pauline!"
He had knelt beside her in that moment; and leaning over to his nearness, Pauline looked down at her hand in his, as if she were gazing at a flower which had been gathered.