"That"s what we chiefly apprehend. Farewell, sir. I find I have not a moment. I must be at Todmore in three quarters of an hour. A sad case that at Todmore; only a question of a few days, I"m afraid; and a very fine young fellow."
"Yes," said Dives--"I--I--it takes me by surprise. Pray, Dr. Pratt, don"t go for a moment," and he placed his hand on his arm.
"Farewell, sir," said the Slowton doctor, and putting up his large gold watch, and bowing gravely, he ran at a quiet trot down the stairs, and jumped into his chaise at the back entrance, and vanished.
"You did not tell me," began Dives.
"No," said Pratt, promptly, "he said he"d tell _himself_, and did not choose me."
"And you think--you think it"s very bad?"
"Very bad, sir."
"And you think he"ll not get over it?"
"He may not, sir."
"It"s frightful, Doctor, frightful. And how was it, do you know?"
"No more than the man in the moon. You must not tease him with questions, mind, to-day. In a day or two you may ask him. But he said, upon his honour, no one was to blame but himself."
"Merciful Heavens! sir. To think of his going this way!"
"Very sad, sir. But we"ll do all we can, and possibly may pull him through."
With slow steps Dives began to ascend the stairs toward his brother"s room. He recollected that he had not bid Pratt good-bye, and gave him his adieux over the banister; and then, with slow and creaking steps, mounted, and paused on the lobby, to let his head clear and to think how he should accost him.
Dives was not a Churchman to pester people impertinently about their sins; and out of the pulpit, where he lashed the vice but spared the man, he was a well-bred divine, and could talk of sheep, and even of horses, and read everything from St. Paul to Paul de k.o.c.k; and had ridden till lately after the hounds, and gave _recherche_ little dinners, such as the New Testament character whose name, with a difference in p.r.o.nunciation, he inherited might have praised, and well-iced champagne, which, in his present uncomfortable state, that fallen gentleman would have relished. And now he stood in a sombre mood, with something of panic at the bottom of it, frightened that the ice upon which men held Vanity Fair, and roasted oxen, and piped and danced, and gamed, should prove so thin; and amazed to see his brother drowning among the fragments in that black pool, and no one minding, and he unable to help him.
And it came to him like a blow and a spasm. "The special minister of Christ!--am I what I"m sworn to be? Can I go in and talk to him of those things that concern eternity with any effect? Will he mind me? Can I even now feel the hope, and lead the prayer as I ought to do?"
And Dives, in a sort of horror, as from the pit, lifted up his eyes, and prayed "have mercy on me!" and saw a misspent hollow life behind, and judgment before him; and blamed himself, too, for poor Jekyl, and felt something of the anguish of his namesake in the parable, and yearned for the safety of his brother.
Dives, in fact, was frightened for himself and for Jekyl, and in those few moments, on the lobby, his sins looked gigantic and the vast future all dismay; and he felt that, bad as poor Jekyl might be, _he_ was worse--a false soldier--a Simon Magus--chaff, to be burnt up with unquenchable fire!
"I wish to G.o.d the Bishop had stayed over this night," said Dives, with clasped hands, and again turning his eyes upward. "We must send after him. I"ll write to implore of him. Oh, yes, he"ll come."
Even in this was a sense of relief; and treading more carefully, he softly turned the handle of the outer door, and listened, and heard Jekyl"s cheerful voice say a few words to the nurse. He sighed with a sense of relief, and calling up a sunnier look, he knocked at Jekyl"s half-open door, and stepped to his bedside.
CHAPTER x.x.xIII.
Varbarriere in the Sick-room.
"Well, Jekyl, my dear fellow--and how do you feel now? There, don"t; you must not move, they told me," said Dives, taking his brother"s hand, and looking with very anxious eyes in his face, while he managed his best smile.
"Pretty well--nothing. Have they been talking? What do they say?" asked Sir Jekyl.
"Say? Well, not much; those fellows never do; but they expect to have you all right again, if you"ll just do what you"re bid, in a week or two."
"Pratt"s coming at five," he said. "What is it now?"
Dives held his watch to Jekyl, who nodded.
"Do you think I"ll get over it, Dives?" he asked at length, rather ruefully.
"Get over? To be sure you will," answered Dives, doing his best. "It might be better for you, my dear Jekyl, if it _were_ a little more serious. We all need to be pulled up a little now and then. And there"s nothing like an alarm of--of that kind for making a man think a little; for, after all, health is only a long day, and a recovery but a reprieve. The sentence stands against us, and we must, sooner or later, submit."
"Yes, to be sure. We"re all mortal, Dives--is not that your discovery?"
said Sir Jekyl.
"A discovery it is, my dear fellow, smile as we may--a discovery to me, and to you, and to all--whenever the truth, in its full force, opens on our minds."
"That"s when we"re going to die, I suppose," said Sir Jekyl.
"_Then_, of course; but often, in the mercy of G.o.d, long before it.
That, in fact, is what we call people"s growing serious, or religious; their perceiving, as a fact, that they _are_ mortal, and resolving to make the best preparation they can for the journey."
"Come, Dives, haven"t those fellows been talking of me--eh?--as if I were worse than you say?" asked the Baronet, oddly.
"The doctors, you mean? They said exactly what I told you. But it is not, my dear Jekyl, when we are sick and frightened, and maybe despairing, that these things are best thought on; but when we are, like you and me, likely to live and enjoy life--_then_ is the time. I"ve been thinking myself, my dear Jekyl, a good deal for some time past. I have been living too much in the spirit of the world; but I hope to do better."
"To do better--to be sure. You"ve always been hoping to do better; and I"ve given you a lift or two," said the Baronet, who, in truth, never much affected his brother"s pulpit-talk, as he called it, and was falling into his old cynical vein.
"But, seriously, my dear fellow, I do. My mind has been troubled thinking how unworthy I have been of my calling, and how fruitless have been my opportunities, my dear brother, with you. I"ve never improved them; and I"d be so glad--now we are likely to have a few quiet days--if you"ll let me read a little with you."
"Sermons, do you mean?" interposed the Baronet.
"Well, what"s better?--a little of the Bible?"
"Come now, Dives, those doctors _have_ been shaking their heads over me.
I say, you must tell me. Do they say I"m in a bad way?"
"They think you"ll recover."
"Did they tell you what it is?"
"Yes. A wound."
"They had no business, d---- them," said Sir Jekyl, flushing.
"Don"t, don"t, my dear Jekyl; they could not help it. I pressed that doctor--I forget his name--and he really could not help saying."
"Well, well, it doesn"t much signify; I"d have told you myself by-and-by. But you must not tell--I"ve a reason--you must not tell anyone, mind. It was my fault, and I"m greatly to blame; and I"ll tell you in a little while--a day or two--all about it."
"Yes, so you can. But, my dear Jekyl, you look much fatigued; you are exerting yourself."