I looked at him. I wasn"t sure I followed him correctly. "My mother died willingly to give birth to me? She sacrificed herself for me? Why?"
"You are the balance, Gwyneth," he said, voice low.
I thought about the woman"s voice in my dreams. I thought about her telling me that I was the balance.
"Between dark and light," I said slowly, remembering her words.
He touched my knee lightly. "I see that your mother has paid you a visit."
"What? The dreams were real?"
He grinned slightly. "Ah, yes, she is connected to you. She shared her life force with you. You will be forever linked."
"Will it always be in my dreams only?" I asked.
"That, or by transcending the boundaries of time itself," he could tell that he lost me. "Like a mystical portal."
Pallo"s yellow bedroom. Wasn"t that a mystical portal to somewhere? He called it a safe haven. "What did she look like?" I had wondered about that for so many years.
"Ah, she was beautiful. She was about your height and had long, flowing blonde hair. Her eyes were green and glorious. Her frame was small, it made me yearn to wrap my arms around her and protect her. Fairies revered her as a G.o.ddess..." He told me this and held my knee tight.
I thought about how I had pictured her. Blonde hair and green eyes never came to mind. I frowned.
"What is the matter?"
"I hoped that we looked alike."
He laughed. "No, I am sorry, but you took after your father." He patted my knee as he told me this. I looked at him. The way his head tipped back as his laughed. The way his dark, navy eyes squinted slightly as he smiled. I looked at his full lips. I noticed his long hair.
"You...you"re my father," I said. He stopped laughing and looked at me.
"Yes."
I just sat there. I didn"t throw my arms around him. I just let it all soak in. It made sense, now that I thought about it. He had always been there for me growing up. He was like my own personal faerie guardian angel.
"I have one question for you," I said to him.
He looked at me, waiting for me to ask him.
"Why did you give me away?"
His hand dropped from my knee. "Your mother would not let me raise you. She feared the idea of you being brought up anywhere near the creatures of the night. I could not blame her. That is no place for a child to grow up."
I thought about the stories of me running off with Giovanni. My mother knew me well, she knew that"d I"d be too tempted in the dark realm.
"Lydia loved you too much to risk anything happening to you," he said.
"Lydia? Pallo"s Lydia?" I was in shock.
He nodded. "Yes, Pallo"s Lydia. Your mother loved Pallo. She thought he would make a wonderful husband for you. She wanted you away from Giovanni. I could not fault her there, either, but choosing a mortal for a husband would have brought you only more pain. That is why I..." he looked at me. I saw the hurt in his eyes. "That is why I promised you to Caleb."
What was he saying--that I was betrothed to Caleb? To them, my past life was an extension of me. They had all lived to tell about it. But to me, it was second-hand information. I may as well have been hearing about a complete stranger. It made no sense to me.
"You promised me to Caleb, knowing I was in love with Pallo?" I asked him.
"No, you were betrothed to Caleb from birth. He was born just a few years before you, and it made good sense in the boundaries of the Realm Royalty."
"I"m not following," I said.
He looked down at the ground. "Lydia made sure to shelter you from the life of the Realms. Only now do I see the error in that."
"I"m sorry, Kerrigan. I was raised by mortals. I went to school with human children. They do not believe in magical creatures or demons. They couldn"t possibly understand the creatures I know. To them, the idea of Heaven and h.e.l.l is a hard one to grasp."
"You were raised by people who loved you. I knew that they would. I could sense it when I neared this farm house. Pallo was right to pick them. I had to check up on you from time to time, of course."
This was a good moment. I hoped that it would always be this way, the two of us talking freely. I wanted to get to know him. He already knew everything about me. I wondered why he had never told me who he was sooner, why he had kept his ident.i.ty from me all these years.
"Why didn"t you tell me that you"re my father? Why wait until now?"
"You were not ready to know. Besides, I promised your mother that I would not endanger you, and you knowing who and what I was would have done just that."
I looked at him. I burst with questions for him. "Why would I be in danger? You were the King, who would dare defy you?"
"Oh, I forget how young you truly are now. I have many enemies in the supernatural world, and if they ever found out I had a child, they would kill you to prevent you from taking over the throne."
The throne? How could I take over the throne? I didn"t even know one existed until about four minutes ago. I looked at him. He had been the King and I was his daughter, what did that make me, an almost princess? I didn"t know, it made my head hurt. Kerrigan told me about my past.
He told me about Sorcha, the current Queen of Nightmares. She had been appointed to be Queen after he left. The elders had tried to get him to take her as his Queen prior to that, but he refused. He had already fallen in love with my mother, and was desperately trying to keep that a secret. It was forbidden for a King to marry outside of n.o.ble blood. The penalty was death, not for the King, but for the one he took to his bed. This didn"t apply to all Si, only to the King. They hadn"t planned to have a child, I just sort of happened. My mother never told anyone who my father was. She would have been killed, as would I. She raised me away from the watchful eye of the faerie elders. My father was never around during my childhood. Sorcha, upset with not being appointed Queen, was at least given the job of lead council to the King. She had come into the dark realm with a child of her own, a boy. Kerrigan was very taken with the small child.
Kerrigan, my father, did his best to juggle both lives. He was unable to balance both worlds and had to stop seeing me altogether. It broke my mothers" heart when he did this. She turned her attentions to me. I had been a handful from the get go. At an early age, I showed an odd fascination with creatures of the dark. Other sidhe fairies would question this, and my mother would shrug and pretend that she hadn"t noticed. She knew the reason why I was drawn to them, it was in my blood. I was born to be their leader someday. Of course, she told no one of this, and had no plans on letting me rule the darkness.
Caleb and I knew each other from childhood. He had come around often. We had been betrothed to one another since my birth. Spending much time together over the course of a hundred years or so had forged a great love between us. Caleb had only one complaint, it was that I was continually being drawn to the darker elements of life. I was fascinated with them. Caleb was kind and understanding, and never tried to force my hand in marriage. It was on one of my trips to see Caleb that I met Giovanni. He was already two-hundred years old when he came into my life. He was one of my father"s best weapons. He would unleash Giovanni onto his enemies with such force, that few challenged him. He was everything that I had always been fascinated with. He was dark, handsome, mysterious and a creature of the night. I ran away with him, leaving Caleb behind.
My father was not able to tell me any more details of the time I spent away from the fairies. He only knew that I called upon Sorcha many years later. I wanted to be made mortal. He found out about this and forbid his head counselor from doing this. She went behind his back and did it anyway. I gave her my immortality, my separable soul, and died shortly after that.
He found out about my death from my mother. For two-hundred years, my father watched her from afar, wanting to go to her, wanting to comfort her. Finally he did. He asked what he could do to make it better for her. Her answer was simple--give her back her daughter. He wanted me back too, but knew that it meant she would die in the process. He left her that night and returned to his castle. He decided that he would rather have my mother back with him the way they had been, if only for a short time, than to see her like this for the rest of eternity.
He stole my separable soul from Sorcha"s collection and went to my mother. They made love over and over again. He gave her back what she had wanted so desperately, me. He spent many nights with her before I was born.
One night Sorcha had him followed. They reported seeing him with a woman who was with child. When he returned home, they were waiting for him. They wanted to know who she was, and if the child was his. When they finished questioning him, he summoned Pallo and Caleb before him. He told them of a faerie woman they both knew well, Lydia. He told them that she was about to give birth to a child. If they saw to it that Lydia"s child was safe, then they would be rewarded someday. He had only one word of warning for them. "Be wise with the second time, be very wise." Neither one of them questioned him. They did as they were told. They found Lydia and kept her safe until my arrival. Then, Pallo took me and found me a home. The only instructions my mother had for him was it must be with humans and that I was to be named Gwyneth. All thought that the name was in honor of her dead daughter, all that is, except my father.
The two of them had no idea that I was the same woman they had both loved and lost. They did as they were told. My mother died shortly after that. Sorcha became suspicious of my father, and wanted that baby born to Lydia. He decided it would be best to disappear and let her rule. If she didn"t feel threatened then she may stop looking for me. It worked. And that was all he knew about my history.
It was more than I could have ever hoped to find out. I hugged him tightly. He sat very still. I don"t think he knew how to hug me back. He hadn"t hugged someone in twenty-five years.
"I have one question," I said to him, letting go of his neck. He smelled of the outdoors, he smelled fresh and clean.
"What would that be?" he asked.
"Did you think I would find Caleb and Pallo again?"
"I had hoped you would find Caleb, I didn"t know how much of your past had returned with you. No one had ever been able to bring a faerie back to life before. We had no way of knowing what would happen. To be completely truthful, I was shocked to see the only difference between then and now is your eyes."
My hand went to my eyes. In the picture that hung in Pallo"s hallway my eyes had been painted violet, now they were navy. I really had come back after being dead two-hundred years. Cool.
"Kerrigan, what about Pallo? You said that you hoped I"d find Caleb, but you didn"t mention Pallo"s name at all. Why?"
He looked at me his eyes were serious. "I was King of the dark creatures, I know what they can do, Pallo is one of them now whether he likes it or not."
"But it is because of me that he is. It"s my fault, don"t punish him for it."
Kerrigan looked at me and smiled. "My dear little child, Pallo would have been dead many, many years had it not been for you. Do not feel sorry for him. He lived to see many nights, since his mortal body should have perished."
"It doesn"t matter now. I wont" lie to you, I still love him," I said softly. The sun set and it got chilly near the river.
"What about Caleb?"
"He"s gone now, so unless his mother decides to give her life for him I guess I"m screwed."
He laughed. Something I said was really funny to him, I hoped it wasn"t the part about Caleb being gone. He stood up and extended his hand to help me up. I took it. I stood and came to just below his shoulder. This man had given up his kingdom to watch me grow up. What do you say to that?
"You had a birthday last week, did you not?" he asked placing my arm in the crook of his, walking with me toward the bridge. I hesitated about going beneath it. I"d forgotten all about the other troll after I b.u.mped into him.
"Never fear my creatures when I am near. They will always obey me, always," he said. He sounded pretty sure of himself. Who was I to argue with the King?
We walked under the bridge, and nothing popped out and grabbed us. I had to laugh at myself for becoming that paranoid in a relatively short period of time. He walked me to the other side of it and then stopped.
"I shall have to see to giving you your present. I didn"t come prepared, my apologies. Your little display of vengeance distracted me." He bent down and kissed my forehead. "If you need me, come here and throw a rock into the water. Think of me while you do this, and I will come."
"But..." I wanted to ask him why he didn"t just stay with me, or, better yet, take me with him. I had nothing holding me here. He didn"t wait for me to ask him. He pulled my arm out of his gently and looked at me.
"You will know my gift to you when you see it. Take good care of it," he said, and vanished.
I swept my hand out, trying to feel him. He was gone--nothing but air remained. I thought about how smart it was to be hanging out under a bridge at nightfall and turned and ran back to the house as fast as I could. I got to the front door and threw it open and ran in. I turned and locked it quick. I know, I know, what sense it makes to leave the house unlocked the entire time you"re gone, only to lock it when you get home? Okay, I"m not perfect, what else is new?
I was out of breath. Something touched my back and I screamed.
"Jumpy, aren"t we?" Ken"s voice said.
I turned around and there he was, in one piece. I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. I gripped his neck so tightly my feet had come off of the floor.
"Well, remind me to get attacked more often," he said, peeling me off of him.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked him, not really wanting to let go. He looked so good to me. His skin was smooth, tan, and not cut up. I wanted to run my hands all over his body, just to prove to myself that he was all right.
"Sharon told me. I went looking for you and she said you were up here. I hope it"s all right that I came up, I just wanted to see you," he said, looking down at me.
"No. I mean...yes, it"s fine, I"m happy you"re here. I thought I, I thought I hurt you this morning."
He reached down and pulled his blue shirt over his head, exposing his naked chest to me. He turned around a few times, then put his shirt back on. It was a short sleeved pullover. It looked nice with his tan pants. Ken rarely wore jeans. He didn"t look comfortable in them.
"See, not a scratch on me. You did this. The doctor described the woman who was with me, and I knew it was you. You healed me." He bent down and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close to him.
"I felt you near me at my house. I knew that you covered me with your own body. I heard everything," he said. He put a lot of emphasis on the word everything.
I looked up into his brown eyes. "Everything?" I referred to Pallo"s harsh statements to me. Ken caught my drift and nodded yes. He held me tight. He whispered how sorry he was above my head. I couldn"t for the life of me figure out why he would be sorry that Pallo did that to me, he didn"t even like the guy. You would think that he"d be jumping for joy that he did me wrong. He wasn"t. Instead, he stood here comforting me. I looked down at the floor near the entrance. His bags were lying there.
I pulled back from him a bit. "Planning on moving in?" I asked smiling at him.
"No, planning on staying with you as long as you need me to."
"What about work?" I asked. Ken"s career meant everything to him. He had devoted his entire life to his job. One day he hoped to have a seat on the Commission.
"I took a leave of absence. They understood. After all, I was viscously attacked in my own home. They"re trying to catch Talia as we speak. As soon as they do, I"ll feel better about leaving you alone."
I remembered seeing Pallo tear her throat out. "I don"t think we need to worry about her anymore."
"Gwen, it"s just like you to blow off something this big," he said, letting go of me.
I really didn"t feel like going into the whole long, drawn out ordeal again, so I left it at that. I went out to the kitchen with Ken and looked around. Caleb and I had done some shopping, but most of it had gone bad. I decided pizza would be our best bet. I hoped they delivered out this far.
I called two of the three pizza places listed in the phone book and neither of them would deliver out here. The third time was a charm, they delivered. I ordered a large pepperoni pizza and hung up.
"Twenty minutes," I said to Ken.
"I can"t believe I let you talk me into eating that c.r.a.p tonight," he said, sitting down at the table. I had to laugh. The entire time we were together, we had only ordered one other pizza. He was always eating some tofu thing, or the latest and greatest diet shake. I had no clue why the man was always watching what he ate. He had never had a weight problem. I quit trying to figure him out and he quit trying to get me to join his fat-free crusade.
We sat and talked about the events that had taken place since I first went down to Necro World. I, of course, left out the part about sleeping with Caleb and Pallo. Oh, and I left out running into my real father. So, I guess you could say I left out pretty much everything that had happened since he sent me down there.
I didn"t see the point of hurting him. Caleb was gone, so why bring it up? I was pretty sure he knew that I had slept with Pallo. He had heard Pallo telling Talia that he f.u.c.ked me. I think the cat was out of the bag there, why beat it to death? As for meeting my father, I didn"t want to endanger him. I"m not sure what would come of him knowing this about me, and I didn"t want to find out.
Ken told me how, when he got home from work, h.e.l.lhounds were all over in his house. He shot two, but was outnumbered. He told me that Talia was the one who beat him first, and then she handed the whip over to Jonathan. I had the funny feeling he left out some information, but I was in no position to point fingers. He asked me about how he got to the hospital. When I told him that Giovanni and the other vampires had taken us there, he flipped out. He couldn"t believe that Pallo had me call him. I tried to explain that I had never actually dialed a number to get him, he just sort of appeared. I didn"t go into any details about the price I paid for freeing Pallo from Giovanni.
Ken told me that Rick"s memorial service would be held in a week. He was cremated, for obvious reasons, and his wife wanted to wait until her oldest son could make it in. I shot Ken a look. Was Justin like the other two? The fact that Rick"s twin boys had murdered him was something that I was sure I"d never get over. Ken a.s.sured me that Rick"s oldest son was on the level, and in no way connected to Talia. Apparently, Jonathon and Jacob had been out of control since birth, and Rick had tried everything in his power to control them. Ken wasn"t sure how they had met Talia but he guessed that the underground club scene had something to do with it.
The doorbell rang. I grabbed my purse on the way to the door. I opened the door. Mitch.e.l.l Smart stood there holding a pizza.
"Mitch.e.l.l? You deliver pizzas too?" I asked surprised to know he was now old enough to be driving.
Ken walked up behind me. Mitch.e.l.l gave him a dirty look. "So, Gwen, how are you and your husband doing?"
I was happy that he had dropped the whole Lucky Gweny thing, but mortified that he had brought up my "husband". When Caleb and I had seen him I had foolishly said Caleb was my husband. It had just popped out. After talking to Kerrigan I can understand why, Caleb at one time was to be my husband. Ken coughed. I just stood there looking at Mitch.e.l.l I was speechless.
Ken pushed in front of me. "Hi, yeah her husband is out of town on business, I"m the lover, here ya go, bye now," he said, handing him the money and shutting the door.
"Ken!" I said. I knew he had it in him to be a p.r.i.c.k, but slamming the door in a teenager"s face was uncalled for. I was going to give him a lecture on not being an idiot when the doorbell rang again. Ken grabbed the door handle and swung the door open.
"Keep the chan--" he stopped in mid-sentence.