His brown gaze went from me to Giovanni. "I know what you"re thinking, Gwyneth. I know you care for me. You cannot tell me this little friendship you have with him is worth jeopardizing what we have."
Giovanni let go of my arms and turned away from me. He walked away and I rounded on Pallo. "Don"t ever read me again and use it to hurt him, ever! Are you so jealous that he and I are friends that you have to stoop to these parlor tricks? G.o.d, you"re a real piece of work, Pallo."
"He"s a monster, Gwyneth. If he stays, he will lure you into bed with him and then he will have you right back where he wants you. Have you learned nothing from your history? He cannot be trusted. He will hurt you and all those you love. I know this for a fact. Let him go before you do something you"ll regret."
My blood boiled. Giovanni turned towards Pallo. I didn"t think it was possible to look even more p.i.s.sed than me, but he was doing a fine job.
"Pallo, he"s changed. Stop throwing the past in my face. I can make my own d.a.m.n decisions without you and you"re wrong."
Pallo took a step towards me. James appeared close to me. I watched Pallo"s eyes darken. He was losing his cool and fast. "Why don"t you let him f.u.c.k you? Then you will see how wonderful he really is when he turns on you... again."
"You"re right about one thing, Giovanni is wonderful, but he didn"t f.u.c.k me."
Pallo let out a small snort. I glanced at Giovanni. He looked so hurt and so confused that I couldn"t help but go towards him.
Pallo snorted. "f.u.c.k him, Gwen, and you will see his true colors. Once he thinks he has you he will show you what he is made of and you will come running back to me to clean up the mess again!"
I kept my gaze on Giovanni, but spoke to Pallo. "When I said he didn"t f.u.c.k me, I wasn"t implying we haven"t had s.e.x. I was just stating a fact. He didn"t f.u.c.k me Pallo.
He made love to me. There"s a huge difference, not that you"d know."
Giovanni"s eyes widened and a look of relief washed over his face. His gaze flickered to something behind me and he opened his mouth to yell. "Bella!"
Pallo yanked me around and held me up at least a foot off the ground. He was so mad his face was shifted into his demon form. I closed my eyes and tried to swallow down my fear. It didn"t work.
"You let that monster inside you? You gave yourself over to him after what he did to you, to me, and to our child? How could you?"
"Pallo," James said sounding very worried.
Giovanni appeared next to us and he didn"t look pleased at how Pallo was treating me. I put my hand up. "It"s okay."
Giovanni shook his head. "No, Bella, it is not okay. He wants to harm you. He is fighting the urge to snap your neck. I believe that for the moment you are safe, but ...."
I froze. Giovanni sired Pallo so he could read him like Pallo could read me. I knew what Giovanni was saying was what Pallo was thinking, but I still couldn"t bring myself to believe Pallo was capable of hurting me. Now that I had been presented with the facts I realized that Pallo was no different from the monster he made Giovanni out to be.
Pallo dropped me quickly and backed away, appearing confused. "Gwyneth." He turned and walked towards the barns. James went after him.
Giovanni put his hand out to me. "Do you understand what you just did?"
Unfortunately, I understood all too well what I"d just done. "Yes, I picked you."
Chapter Fifteen.
My first night home was shaping up to be weird-rather thirteen o"clockish. You know, that spot on the clock you think should be there but isn"t. There was no other way to describe it. The place no longer felt like my home, yet it was. Pallo had obviously taken time to pick things he knew I"d like. The master bedroom was the only room I think he"d done more for himself than me. It was identical to the bedroom we"d shared over two- hundred years ago. The walls were a pale yellow, the trim all done white and the bed was a large wooden four-poster bed.
Getting used to the remodeled farmhouse was one thing. Ironing out sleeping arrangements was another. It turned out Pallo had living quarters constructed over each new barn. James told me that he and Caradoc had set Mikhail"s group up in two of them. Pallo had taken another and James had been sent in to sleep in the room next to mine. I had little doubt that he was told to listen in on everything Giovanni and I did.
I looked over at Giovanni. He was laying his shirt across the footboard. He moved around and sat down on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. He"d been pretty quiet since our little spat with Pallo outside. I had no intention of s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up his reflection time so I tossed my jeans and sweater aside. I walked over to my, now large, wood dresser and searched around for my favorite oversized t-shirt. It was gone. All I could find were outfits that would make underwear models blush. I rolled my eyes and decided I"d just sleep in the t-shirt I had on. It came to just above my navel and was snug, but it was a h.e.l.l of a lot more comfy than the stuff Pallo had loaded me up with.
I reached up and unfastened my bra. Years of changing in the girls" locker rooms and being the only one with b.r.e.a.s.t.s will make you an expert at removing a bra from under a shirt. I walked over and climbed in bed. Giovanni was still sitting at the foot of the bed. His shoes were off, but he hadn"t moved.
He let out a sigh. "Gwyneth, you know if I lie here with you tonight, Pallo will be lost to you forever?"
I didn"t answer right away. It wasn"t one of those questions you can just give an automated response. He was right. Being in the same room for the night while Pallo slept in the same vicinity would mean the end of any chance I had with Pallo. But really, what chance had I ever had with him? He"d perfected the art of pushing me away and distancing himself from me. He seemed convinced I could never love the monster he"d become. I not only had been more than willing to love it, I ended up sleeping with the one who had made him that way. I was completely screwed in the head and I knew it. That had to count for something. First step to recovery, right?
"Is what he says true? Will you hurt everyone I love?"
Giovanni turned and looked at me. "I already have."
"Tell me more about it." I opened the covers up for him. He stood, unzipped his gray slacks and pulled them off. Seeing him standing before me in his dark gray bikini briefs brought a smile to my face. He climbed in and moved his body close to mine.
It took us only seconds to find a comfortable way to lie facing each other. It was plain to see we"d had nearly a hundred years of practice. I ran my foot over his leg and snuggled closer to him. I was suddenly cold and the idea of being in his arms warmed me. I know it was silly, but hey, that"s what I"m all about.
"Spending the night with me here will end any chance of a future with Pallo. I told you I am more than willing to share you with him, but he will not do the same in return."
"I wish I could say that I"m ready to toss everything I could have with Pallo out the window. I don"t want to be that girl who can"t make up her mind forever. But I need to know more about you. Are you willing to share that with me?"
He kissed my forehead. "What if I told you there was a way for me to show you."
I grabbed him tightly and waited for him to go on. He did. "I know you have the gift of visions. You"ve always had that. When I saw you at the nightclub with Pallo at first I could not believe it was you, then once I knew it was really you, I pulled my power around me to keep you from reading me. I"ve been doing it every moment I"ve been near you. If I let it down you will be able to follow along and see our past together with your own eyes. But," he grew quiet, "there is a chance your mind will not be able to understand it is just a dream, a memory of a life long ago. You may feel every emotion and your body may react like the events are truly taking place." He stroked my cheek. "This is not something I recommend, but it is only a matter of time before Pallo realizes I am shielding myself from you and he will twist it to look as though I"m trying to deceive you."
I pulled the blanket up and over us more. I was still shaking, now out of a mix of fear and excitement. "Why do you sound so against it?"
"Gwyneth, suppose I let you in and you can"t pull back. It is a well-known fact you died. Do you think I want that to happen again? Do you think I want to know that two times I could have prevented it and I didn"t?"
"No, but ...."
He pulled my chin up to him. "But, you want to know all the answers to a life you can"t remember. You may not like the answers you get and you may not like me when you are done."
"If you"re so sure I"m going to hate you, why do it?"
He gave me another quick kiss. "If I do not then you will forever wonder if Pallo was right about you not being able to trust me anymore."
"Will I remember everything?"
"I believe if your powers are still the same, you will receive bits and pieces and perhaps that will jar your memory."
"How do we do it?"
"We bring in someone you trust first. Then I will open up to you."
I looked at him as my face drew into a scowl. "Why do we need someone else in here?"
"What if I do this and you cannot get back. I"m not strong enough to sustain you through my essence along with pulling you back from the edge."
I ran my fingers over the faint scars on his chest. Did I really want to know everything about my past? I was happy with Giovanni in the here and now, but he was right. I"d always wonder if he was being honest with me. Pallo had made me doubt him and I would always question his honesty.
"I want to do it and soon."
"Why soon?"
"I"m home now and that means the wedding is on unless I can talk my father out of it. I don"t have a lot of time to prove my case. I need all the ammunition I can get."
Giovanni"s hand slid up and under my t-shirt. "Would marrying Caleb really be so bad?"
I"d already spent enough time thinking about that to not need long to ponder. "No, marrying the Caleb I knew wouldn"t be bad at all, marrying the green-eyed monster I turned him into would. He hates me Giovanni. He wants me dead. He forced me to go. He left me no choice."
"Yet, you come home to him when he needs you and it will most likely cost you the freedom to live your life the way you want."
I had no rhyme or reason, and he knew it. It made no sense for me to have flown half way around the world to help a man that hated my guts.
I stopped trying to over a.n.a.lyze my life and planted tiny kisses on Giovanni"s face. I felt him smiling under each one. This wasn"t a moment I wanted to spoil talking about any more ex-boyfriends. I just wanted to concentrate on the here and now.
He slid his hand around and under the front of my shirt. His fingers grazed my breast and made my kisses come down on him in droves. His mouth came to mine and we found ourselves locked together.
Something loud crashed from the doorway. I turned and looked at the door. The handle shook for a minute then it flew open. The light from the hall backlit the tall slender figure that filled the doorway-it staggered slightly and came crashing into the room.
"Gwen?"
Caleb?
I lay there, with Giovanni"s hand still under my t-shirt fondling my breast, in shock. Caleb picked himself up off the floor and took a large step back. He looked down at the two of us and his green eyes widened.
"G.o.d, no Gwen ... not him," he said as he dropped to his knees.
"Caleb!" I jumped up and ran to him. It was plain to see he was intoxicated. James had told me that Caleb had taken to drinking heavily and now I could see it for myself. Giovanni rolled off the bed and came to help me try to lift him.
The two of them were the same height and close to the same weight. I think that Caleb was actually a hair more muscular than Giovanni, but I wasn"t planning on pointing that out to anyone. I tried to lift him and failed miserably. Giovanni lifted him under his shoulder and made Caleb look like a sack of potatoes.
"What"s a dead guy got to do around here to get some sleep? Crimey... what the...?" James said from the doorway. He was standing there in a pair of his dark blue boxer briefs. He was obsessed with them. Once he"d even made me feel them through his pant leg. He had issues and that"s why we made great friends. Maybe we could get a two for one deal at a therapist. He looked at the two of us trying to hold Caleb up in our underwear and his eyes widened.
James turned around fast and mumbled to someone in the hall. I heard a loud booming voice and knew the night was getting better and better. Pallo pushed past James as if he was nothing more than an irritating fruit fly. Part of me agreed with him on that, but the rest thought he was an a.s.s for pushing James around.
Pallo looked at Giovanni in his bikini briefs and me in my tight little short tee and white silk undies and his face hardened. I thought about ducking in case he began spitting nails. Caleb let out a small groan and Pallo noticed him there for the first time. He walked over to where I was standing and moved past me. Together he and Giovanni lifted Caleb up off the floor.
Pallo glanced at me briefly. "Where do you want him?"
"In the room across the hall."
I followed them over and was the one who moved in to take Caleb"s boots and jeans off him.
"Gwyneth, I think he can safely sleep this off with all his clothes on," Pallo said, sarcasm dripping from his every word.
"Yeah, probably, but I"d do the same for you, so tough."
Pallo tossed his hands up and rolled his eyes. I was happy to see him walk out. I didn"t want to fight with him anymore. Giovanni moved over and aided me with undressing Caleb. I expected to see him struggling with the knowledge that this pa.s.sed out man was to be my husband very shortly. He wasn"t. He gave me a wink and eased Caleb out of his shirt. I undid Caleb"s pants and started pulling them down. My face was instantly right in his very exposed groin. I"d forgotten he didn"t wear underwear.
"My, I can see why you like him," Giovanni said, leaning over to get a better view. "He is gifted. But I am more so." He grinned, letting his tongue run over his fangs.
I tried to hide my surprise, but I failed. "Don"t tell me. I don"t want to know you"re into guys, too. And I"m not getting into a "who is bigger" contest."
"Bella, I am from an era of bed hopping that could make adult film directors blush and so are you."
I hadn"t ever thought about it, but it was true. "What"s your view on monogamy now?"
He leaned closer to Caleb and smiled. "It"s lengthening by the minute." I tossed Caleb"s jeans at him and he laughed. "Seriously, Bella, if you wish to be with these men I understand, my only concern is they will force you out of my arms."
"How can you stand there and say you"re cool with the idea of me having s.e.x with other guys? I"m sure the h.e.l.l not all right with you being with other ...." I almost said women, but after his last comments, I rephrased it, "people. I really don"t think I"d be all right with that."
He came around to me. I was trying to lift Caleb"s body. He was dead to the world and his limbs were heavy. Giovanni picked his feet up and put them onto the bed. He pulled the covers up and over him, slowing as he neared Caleb"s parts in question. He glanced over at me and smiled, wagging his brows playfully.
"Jerk," I said through a laugh.
He covered Caleb and turned to me. "I would not ask you to share me with anyone else. But how can I deny you your two soul mates? Pallo and Caleb can give you a life I cannot." I was about to object when he put his hand up, halting me. "No, it"s true, Bella. I cannot give you a child. They can. Caleb can offer you a life with someone who is not a monster and Pallo can offer you a second chance at the family you should have had. What can I offer you?"
I moved into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Yourself."
"If that were enough, we would not be having this conversation," he said as he walked towards the door.
"Gwen?" Caleb mumbled my name. I turned and looked at him. I noticed for the first time that he had grown a goatee. He"d never had any facial hair when we"d been together and this was new. I reached down and moved a strand of his long, straight, white-blond hair out of his face.
"I will wait for you in your room, Bella." I turned to follow Giovanni out, but he put his hand up and dismissed me. "No, you spend some time with your faerie. He"s earned it." He gave me a wink and a double-dimple smile and left. He closed the door softly behind him.
"Gwen, what ... where ... Gwen?" Caleb said softly. I sat next to Caleb on the bed and continued to pull his hair back from his face. He, like me, had hair that hung to the top of his b.u.t.t. It was sort of the norm for fairies. Sure, we could cut it, but it would grow back in a few short weeks.
I stood up to let him rest and his hand came out and wrapped around my waist. He pulled me down to him and cuddled against me. "Gwen, I"ve missed you."
"I"ve missed you, too, Caleb."
He yanked me against him more and drew in a deep breath. "It hurts."
I arched a brow. "What hurts?"
"Heavy press," he whispered before nodding off for just a moment. "Like magik pushing in on me all the time."
He"d never mentioned anything like that before. "Caleb, are you okay?"
He mumbled something I couldn"t quite make out but I could have sworn it was another woman"s name. I also thought it sounded a lot like he mentioned developing feelings for her and drinking to make the pain that came with those feelings go away.
Had Caleb found someone new? Someone he cared for?