I had failed to mention that we"d be chauffeured by my security detail. "This is Clay. He"s my bodyguard slash babysitter." I made sure he could hear me from the backseat. "He makes sure I stay out of trouble. Isn"t that right, Clay?"
"Yes, ma"am." He pulled out smoothly onto the busy street and steered us toward our destination.
I caught the hint of a smile in the rearview mirror. I grinned in reply though I wasn"t sure if he saw it. That was as much of a scolding as he was going to get from me. Bryant"s office was out of the city, so I sat back and sifted through the emails on my phone to kill time.
"Oh, no."
Risa stared down at her phone, her hand cupped over her mouth. My heart sank, hoping she didn"t have bad news about the site.
"What?"
"Breaking news. Mark MacLeod was found dead in his apartment this morning. He was the one you were dancing with at the gala, wasn"t he? Max"s friend?"
I stared at her blankly, my jaw agape and no words coming out. What could I say? I shut my mouth and made an effort to mask the panic. My mind spun, trying to make sense of the news.
"What happened?" My voice wavered. I swallowed hard, pressing my damp palms to the seat.
She scrolled through the article for a few more seconds. I wanted to rip the phone out of her hands to read it myself but refrained. "Apparent suicide but they aren"t saying how. Says a toxicology report is pending."
Mark was dead. Dead. I silently repeated the fact over and over in my mind, willing myself to believe it.
The worst nightmare of my life was gone forever.
I stared out the window, trying to grasp the magnitude of the news Risa had just shared. I waded through the emotions that flooded me. The relief was unmistakable. No longer would I live in constant fear of the man, dreading how his presence would color every moment spent getting to know my father.
As these realities slowly dawned, a heaviness lifted. As if I"d been given a gift, a prayer answered. Tears welled, and I bit my lip to still its quivering.
"Did you know him really well?" Risa"s voice was quiet and laced with all the appropriate sympathy one should have in a moment like this.
What she didn"t know about the truth of the matter could fill volumes.
I cleared my throat and straightened. "No. I"d met him briefly before through Blake"s investment firm. I think he had a thing for me, but I barely knew him. It"s shocking... Sad."
Was it? This wasn"t a tragic accident, and as relieved as I felt, I couldn"t shake my uneasiness. Mark had killed himself, but why? With everything he had going for him, I couldn"t understand it. Mark seemed to take special interest in tormenting me emotionally since he"d come back into my life. What else could be at play? I knew nothing about him except the personal h.e.l.l he"d created for me.
Clay dropped us off at the building entrance a minute later. Risa and I made our way to the elevators as I tried to regroup emotionally.
"Are you okay? I think I could probably do this meeting on my own if you need some time."
I punched the b.u.t.ton to go up. "I"m fine. Let"s do this."
She took a deep breath and smiled. Normally I would have been nervous, but nothing seemed as important next to the news I"d just heard.
Our meeting with Bryant"s marketing director was mercifully quick, which was good because I was having a really difficult time concentrating on anything the man said. He didn"t have a lot of time blocked out for us, so I let Risa take the lead presenting the details of our proposal. She was appropriately concise and delivered well. Whenever she hesitated or stumbled, I chimed in. Between the two of us, we made a pretty compelling pitch. The director seemed satisfied and said he"d run it by his team and get back to us as soon as he got approval.
On our way back, Risa released a heavy sigh in the car and relaxed back onto the headrest.
"Were you that nervous?"
She smiled. "Kind of. I"m really glad you came."
"Me too. We made a good team."
I held out my hand for a fist b.u.mp, which she met with a laugh. I was anxious to keep the mood light and our conversation focused on work. I couldn"t handle any more questions about Mark right now.
"Definitely. Whether this goes through or not, I think I can definitely use this as a stepping stone to connect with some other retailers. Maybe Max has some more connections."
"Maybe." I wasn"t sure about overusing Max"s resources, but he seemed willing. I had nothing to lose by letting Risa work her magic with him.
As soon as I got back to the office I slipped into Mocha. I pulled out my laptop and searched the news. Details of the story were slowly being released to the public. I got halfway through the article I was reading when my phone rang, Alli"s face lighting up the screen.
"Hey," I answered.
"Oh my G.o.d, have you been following the news?"
"Yeah."
"I"m in shock. Does that seem like him, to just off himself?"
I blinked and stared at the photo of Mark on the screen. A portrait of him taken for the law firm, looking professional and more than ready to take on corporate America. The smile that made me sick to my stomach was plastered all over the news.
"I"m not sure," I admitted. "I saw him two nights ago at the Spirit Gala. He came onto me, totally freaking me out. I wouldn"t have guessed something like this could have happened."
"Well, it"s not like you knew him well."
"You don"t think it has to do with me, do you?"
"Jesus, are you blaming yourself for this, Erica?"
"No, but-"
"Okay, you"re going to stop that s.h.i.t right now. Mark was a terrible person. You should be happy he"s gone and out of your life now. Good riddance."
"I don"t know. I guess I"m in disbelief." I had a hard time celebrating anyone"s death, even someone I loathed as much as Mark. Daniel and Margo would probably be beside themselves with grief right now. "Says he didn"t even leave a note. Doesn"t make sense."
"What would he have written? A confession of all the horrible things he"d done?"
Simone brought over my usual latte without my even asking. I mouthed a thank you to her and stirred it slowly as I contemplated Alli"s words.
"I guess you"re right. I"m still trying to wrap my head around all this."
"Try to think of it as a chapter in your life closing. You can finally move on now."
I shook my head, knowing full well that his death could never erase what he"d done to me.
I forced myself to finish writing the Bryant"s contract, though Mark"s death barely left my mind as I pushed through work. I was about to give in and check the news again when Risa popped in.
"How"s it going?" She beamed in front of me.
"Almost done with this. How about you?"
"I was able to book two more meetings with retailers next week."
"Wow, you"re on fire." I raised my eyebrows, genuinely impressed.
She smiled broadly, and then her expression became more serious. "Have you been following the news?"
I stayed focused on my screen. "No, what"s new?" I couldn"t help but ask.
"They said he shot himself. His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit."
I closed my eyes, fighting the vision of what that scene must have looked like. Of all the ways to attempt to end his life, he chose the one he was guaranteed not to survive.
"Funeral services will be on Sunday. Do you think you"ll go?"
"Risa, I told you I barely knew him," I snapped. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l. I really wished she would mind her own G.o.dd.a.m.n business. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my thoughts, and she was in the front row trying to read them.
"Okay, sorry. I thought you"d want to know."
"Now I know, thanks." I started typing up the last of the terms into my open doc.u.ment, hoping she"d take the hint that I was busy.
She did and left wordlessly. I relaxed again, immediately regretting that I"d been so rude. My head was so messed up, and the one person I really needed wasn"t remotely close.
I waited until after five when everyone had left to call Blake. I heard him talking to someone when he picked up.
"Blake."
"Hey."
"Mark is dead," I said, my brain working hard to believe the words. I still couldn"t believe it.
There was silence on the line as I waited for him to respond, to ask me how and when. Surely he"d have as many questions as I did. If anyone hated Mark as much as I did, it was Blake.
"I know."
"What do you mean?"
"I saw it in my news feed. I"m sorry, I wanted to call but I"ve been tied up in meetings all morning. Hang on a second."
"Okay." My voice was quiet, my throat tight with emotion. I wanted to be angry with him for not calling, but all I could think about was how much I missed him. The noise was m.u.f.fled on the other end, and then the voices in the background disappeared.
"Are you okay?" His voice was softer.
I drummed my fingers on the desk, wondering how to put into words how completely not okay I was. "When are you coming home?"
He sighed on the other end. I winced. I was becoming the emotionally dependent girlfriend that he probably really didn"t need. Not to mention the kind I never thought I"d turn into.
"Sorry, just do what you need to do there, Blake. Don"t worry about me, okay? I"m fine." I bit back the tears that threatened, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.
"I"m coming back as soon as I can."
"I"m fine," I repeated, willing both of us to believe it as I wiped away the tear that fell down my cheek. "I"m just kind of a mess right now, but I"ll be fine."
I heard the voices in the background again and he muttered a curse under his breath. "I"ll call you tonight, okay?"
"Sure."
I hung up and let my head fall into my hands. Why did I need Blake to put me back together? What had changed in these past weeks that I needed him like I needed my last breath? I couldn"t make sense of it, or of the insane thoughts I was having about hopping on the next red-eye to San Francisco to see him.
"You look like you need a drink."
James was standing by my desk. He looked great as usual in a black graphic T-shirt and dark blue jeans, but the worried look on his face was what caught my attention. I wiped my eyes quickly, suddenly worried about the state of my mascara after a day like today.
"I thought everyone was gone."
"I had to wrap something up here. I figured we could catch up."
I straightened and silently hoped that he hadn"t heard my exchange with Blake.
"Maybe later. I should head home." I piled up the papers that had acc.u.mulated on my desk over the course of the day.
"On a Friday night? I thought you"d be celebrating the new account."
"Well it"s not final yet. Plus I still have work to do. I need to figure out the direction for the ad campaign we"re planning."
"How about you toss some of that work my way and let me take you out for a drink. I"ll come in tomorrow if I have to."
I shook my head. "I don"t expect you to do that."
"I want to. Come on, there"s a cool dive bar down the street. Unless you"re more into those fancy martini bars?"
I lifted my lips. He had one thing right for sure. I could use a drink. Having someone to talk to, even if it wasn"t about my solidly heinous day, was pretty appealing too.
"Fine. One drink."
James delivered on his promise for a quintessential dive bar. Dark and spa.r.s.e on decor, the place attracted a local crowd. Most were casually dressed, so I stood out with my suit. Maybe a martini bar would have been better based on the double takes I was getting.
We found two seats at the crowded bar and each ordered a drink. I tried to ignore the news scrolling on the one television mounted on the wall.
"Are there any new developments?"
I panicked slightly. "What do you mean?"
"With the Cooper kid?"