What a cold day, and my heart was cold. What was to come would always come. As a concubine, I would have to bear this. I gritted my teeth and said, “Great! It’s wonderful news. Tell her I’ll send two more maids and two more old servants to take care of her. What’s more, the cook should take special care of Yanran’s food and drink. No mistakes should be made, do you understand?” After that, I brushed my sleeves away. “Concubine, don’t go. I haven’t finished yet.” Madam Su caught up with me. “Is there anything else to say?” As I walked, I tried my best to hold my breath and almost fainted. “The doctor said that Yanran had palpitations, so pregnancy is very dangerous for her. It is absolutely impossible for her to be hurt or have other accidents, or it may be difficult to prevent miscarriage.” “Oh.” I thought about it and stopped. Madam Su winked at me. “Then please let the doctor treat her even more carefully,” I said and turned away. I knew in my heart that she knew too much about the hearts of women. I suspected her words might have a double meaning, and she was reminding me. So long as Yanran didn’t give birth this time, all my troubles would disappear. If she had a boy, the boy would be the eldest son, even though he was born of a mere maid. According to the rules, she could be promoted to concubine. But I gave up; it was all completely unnecessary. We were also women, and we were all poor women. Let everything be as it was! Xiao Yi was delighted to hear the good news. Everyone in the palace was busy these days, and every day I needed to pretend to be virtuous and generous. It soon became known to all; Emperor sent people to give ginseng and other precious medicinal supplements. Yanran’s room was also changed to the new room that I had sent people to tidy up, and the number of maids increased by six at a time. I leaned lazily on the couch, and I felt a little sad in my heart. In recent days, I seldom had a chance to see Xiao Yi. Although he was as good as ever to me, I always felt he was absent-minded and tired. It happened that another piece of good news came from the palace of Jin’an. A concubine gave birth to a son yesterday. This was the sixth son of the prince of Jin’an. I shook my head helplessly and sent people to give a gift first. Many things of this sort had happened to the royal family, which was called “need to breed”. This high-sounding reason gave the members of royal family an excuse to be in the world of wine and women. As their women, we were expected to hide jealousy and be virtuous. But jealousy was like a burning flame, burning others as well as ourselves. Finally, jade and stone burned together. Cotton rose had become gelsemium gra.s.s in a twinkling of an eye, which was only a matter of time. Because Empress Chen couldn’t bear the loneliness of the night, she spent a lot of money to invite someone to write “Long Gate Fu.” Beauty Ban, a concubine of Emperor Cheng of Han Dynasty, was a n.o.ble person. In order to avoid trouble, she moved in the Changxin Palace alone. But she could not bear the loneliness, so she made “Self-vindicating Fu” in order to gain the favor of the emperor again. And Emperor Wen’s wife, Empress Zhen, though she had been favored, was eventually victimized by Concubine Guo. As for myself, I had a long way to go. Where do I belong? My tears rolled down again. “Look, Concubine, what’s this?” Mingzhu was tidying up my bedroom. She was holding a tiny thing in her hand. I dried two tears secretly. Then I looked closely; it was a red bean! “How could there be such a thing?” Mingzhu looked at the red bean in surprise. My room was not accessible to people. Except for Mingzhu and Bing and two personal maids, only the four women could come in to pay respects to me. Even Madam Su usually spoke to me outside. As a matter of fact, this thing didn’t usually appear in my room. “It’s really weird. No wonder recently I always feel like something is under my body. It’s very uncomfortable. It turned out to be this little thing.” I put it in my palm and looked at it carefully. “The day I got married, they placed some dates, peanuts, and other things for good luck. Maybe it was left at that time.” “Concubine, I don’t believe so. Usually, your room is cleaned up by me. I checked every place carefully many times and found nothing. Even if it’s just a hair, it will not escape my eyes. It is impossible, it is really impossible.” Mingzhu shook her head like a rattle drum. “I’ve only heard that people will put chestnuts, dates, peanuts, and so on. I’ve never heard of red beans before.” Mingzhu still had some doubts. “Is that right? That’s all right, just throw it away.” Seeing that she was somewhat self-blaming, I couldn’t bear to pursue it any further, so I comforted her. “These days, I always feel as if something is stuck in my heart. At night, I always have difficulty falling asleep. I hope you can give me a Buddhist sutra to read. I will worship the Buddha every day and pray for peace.” “What did you say? Something in your heart?” Suddenly I had a flash of fire in my mind, as if I remembered something. “Mingzhu, look around and see if anything else is here,” I said in a hurry. “Yes.” She searched all the cabinets. “Where else did you not look?” “Only under the bed.” As she spoke, she suddenly covered her mouth. She was shocked and said nothing. Sure enough, there was a secret hiding here. I went over in person and pulled the toy figurine out.