Li Shen was looking at his cell phone. His son sent another photo today. Li Shan went to an amus.e.m.e.nt park with Mu Lan and two beautiful cousins. LanYing took a photo of Mu Lan hugging Li Shan from behind. They were laughing without restraint.
Li Shen rubbed over Mu Lan"s face. His eyes softened. How he wished that it wasn"t just a picture for him. He wanted to see her as his wife and their son.
That year, after meeting his cousin for the first time, he went back with Beijing with his father and arranged his mother"s farewell. Afterward, he busied himself with work. He had a habit of writing a diary occasionally. One day, he wanted to take a break from work and began reading his diary.
He was surprised to find out about Mu Lan. He met her long before but he had no recollection of it. There wasn"t much written about her. He only wrote how he felt for her. He was astonished to discover that he had such deep feelings for a woman who was his cousin.
Li Shen started to feel doubtful about certain things. When he thought deeply about it, he realized that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn"t remember anything. He started to lose his mind. He secretly went to a psychiatrist.
That psychiatrist recently completed her study in Germany and came to China and started living there. Her physical structure was small. She almost looked like a middle school student. However, her skill was top notch. Her name was Xue Lin.
Li Shen told her everything. He only hid Mu Lan"s name. After listening to everything, she said, "You were hypnotized."
Li Shen blinked. "Hypnotized? Who could do such a thing?"
Xue Lin leaned back and calmly gave him the answer to his question, "Someone who thought that your presence was troublesome. Eliminating you would be easier but they showed you mercy. They went all the way to alter your memory, it was quite troublesome for them if you ask me. They wanted to protect you. Well, that"s what I think. What do you want to do about it?"
Li Shen looked down and thought for a while. Then he looked up and told her, "I want to regain my memory. Is it possible?"
Xue Lin looked at him in the eyes and answered, "It is possible. I"ve to hypnotize you. But, do you want to remember? If you try to do something to them and they find out you remembered, they might kill you."
"You don"t have to worry about it. No one needs to worry about me." Li Shen looked down again.
Xue Lin nodded. "Very well. Go home and think about it for a while. Prepare yourself mentally and when you think that you are ready for it, call me. I"ll be here."
"I understand." After that, Li Shen let Xue Lin hypnotize him and he remembered every single thing. After remembering, he was shocked and couldn"t speak for two minutes. Xue Lin panicked when she saw his condition. When she was thinking of calling for an ambulance, he moved and she exhaled in relief.
If Xue Lin knew the relations.h.i.+p between Mu Lan and Li Shen, she wouldn"t have altered his memory even more, or, she would lie about hypnotism.
Li Shen remerged everything and he didn"t know how to act or respond to that. He hated his mother and her lies. He felt sorry for himself that he easily let his mother manipulate him and play with his heart. He hated himself for hurting an innocent girl. He regretted that he hurt the woman he loved the most because he was foolish. All these emotions, he didn"t know how to deal with them.
Xue Lin"s therapy helped him a lot. He calmed down gradually. Firstly, he checked his son"s DNA and then found out that Li Shan wasn"t his child. He didn"t feel betrayed. He felt relieved. He realized that he wasn"t committed to anyone by blood.
After that, he divorced his wife. He didn"t want to see her disgusting face anymore. He already discovered her dirty laundry and it was enough for him to be tied with her till now. He didn"t tell Li Shan anything. This little boy could live a life thinking that he was his father. It was better that way. The boy was innocent. It wasn"t his fault. He didn"t need to take the blame.
Later, he buried himself with work. He almost lost consciousness in exhaustion. When he was sent to the hospital, he slowly came to accept himself. He loved his Xiao Lan and there was no doubt about it. However, she was happy with her husband and children. He understood that he had no right to face her or to ask for her heart. Even though he wanted to do something for her. If he could do something good for her, even if it was something small, he could die peacefully.
He talked to his father, Li Han about giving Mu Lan the share of the company. Li Han agreed. But Mu Lan didn"t. So, Li Shen had to change the doc.u.ment and gave her eldest son twenty-five percent shares. He wanted to do so many things for her. But when he saw her again in China, he realized that there was nothing he could do. She was happy without him.
Later, he gave rice ball number one the locket that belonged to his grandmother. When he was little, her father gave him this locket. Li Han told him while giving this locket, "This locket belonged to my mother. She once told me to give it to the woman I loved. I couldn"t give it to her. Xiao Shen, when you find the girl you love, give it to her."
Li Shen couldn"t give this locket to Mu Lan. But he thought if Mu Lan got this locket from him, she would have given it to her eldest child. As he thought about it, he gave the locket to rice ball number one Lian.
Though this little boy Lian looked like his mortal enemy Mu Liang, Li Shen couldn"t hate him. On the contrary, he felt deep affection for Mu Lan"s children.
Li Shen noticed that Li Shan liked Mu Lan and whenever he was free, he would visit Mu Lan and his cousins. He didn"t stop that little boy. Li Shan always sent photos of him and Mu Lan when he was there. He even sent the twins" picture. Mu Lan was cuddling the sleeping dumplings after giving birth to them and Li Shan took a photo. Out of habit, he sent that picture to his father.
Li Shen created a secret folder and put all Mu Lan"s photos there. Whenever he missed her too much, he would take a glance at those photos. He never believed in G.o.d or Lord Buddha. But he prayed for her and her children"s wellbeing.
Li Shen stood up from his chair and walked towards the window. He looked outside the window and watched the car moving busily on the road.
His life was going like a car. The drive of the car was his heart, and the patrol was his Xiao Lan. As long as she was alive, he would live. He would continue to live until the G.o.d of death permitted him to die. Before that, he would try to do anything for the people he held dear.
That"s what he promised to himself.