"I must tell Tilly about this," he roared. "Of course, now I come to think of it, you don"t know a thing about her. You never got my letter!
Fancy you two poor old creatures sitting there as good as gold and wondering why I had brought her down here at all! Oh, my sainted Mother!"
"Who is she?" reiterated the sainted Mother, fighting for breath.
"She is my little girl," replied d.i.c.ky proudly. "We"re engaged."
"I knew it," said Lady Adela, in a hollow voice.
"And I have brought her down here to make your acquaintance, that"s all!" concluded the happy lover, apparently surprised that his relationship to Miss Welwyn should ever have been a matter of doubt to any one. "We met the goat outside the station--"
Lady Adela uttered a deep groan. Mr. Mainwaring rose from his seat and advanced upon his tall son, who still leaned easily against the mantel-piece, with his feet upon the hearthrug and his head above the clouds.
"My dearest boy," he said, patting d.i.c.ky affectionately and coaxingly upon the shoulder, "do you realise that you are our only son, and that as such we take a not unreasonable interest in your welfare? Would you mind postponing the goat for a moment and giving us a more explicit account of the young lady? I had only the merest glimpse of her just now," he concluded, doggedly avoiding his wife"s eye, "but she struck me as charming--charming!"
d.i.c.ky"s air of cheerful inanity fell from him like a cloak. Exultantly he took his father by the shoulders.
"Dad," he shouted, "she"s the most blessed little darling that ever walked this earth! She"s a princess! She"s a fairy! She"s a--"
The rhapsodist broke off short, and flushed red.
"Forgive me," he said, "for waffling like that, but I don"t quite know what I "m doing just at present. Dad, I"m the happiest man that ever lived!"
"My boy, my boy," cried little Mr. Mainwaring, "I"m glad--I"m glad!"
And father and son, regardless of the feelings of the unfortunate lady upon the sofa, proceeded to shake one another violently and continuously by both hands.
At last they desisted, a little sheepishly.
"Abel," said a cold voice, "be seated. d.i.c.k, take that chair."
Both gentlemen complied meekly.
"I see," said Lady Adela, looking up from a rapid perusal of her son"s letter, "that the girl"s name is Tilly Welwyn. Tilly, I presume, is an abbreviation of Matilda?"
"I don"t know," confessed d.i.c.ky. "But Tilly will," he added brightly.
"She knows everything."
"I notice," continued the Counsel for the Prosecution, still skimming through the letter, "that you have known one another for a short time--"
"Seven weeks, five days, four hours, and a few odd minutes," confirmed the defendant, looking at his watch.
"--And you became engaged as recently as last Sunday." Lady Adela laid down the letter. "Where?"
"On the top of a "bus."
"H"m!" said Mr. Mainwaring uneasily.
"A rather unusual place, was it not?" enquired Lady Adela coldly.
"Unusual," agreed d.i.c.ky readily, "but not irregular. Oh, no! Besides, Percy was there, three seats behind. Perfect dragon of a chaperon, old Perce! Yes, the proceedings were most correct, I promise you."
"I note," continued Lady Adela, taking up the letter again, "that you do not say where you made Miss Welwyn"s acquaintance."
"That was on the top of another "bus," explained d.i.c.ky, with a disarming smile.
"And was her brother," enquired Lady Adela, ominously calm, "present on _this_ occasion?"
"Percy? Rather not! Otherwise I need not have interfered."
"Int--" began both Lady Adela and Mr. Mainwaring together.
"Yes," said d.i.c.ky glibly. "It was like this. The rain began to come down hard, and a rather poisonous-looking bounder sitting beside her offered her his umbrella."
"Any gentleman would have done the same, d.i.c.k," interposed Mr.
Mainwaring quietly.
"Yes, Dad. But I don"t think any gentleman would have insisted on paying a girl"s fare for her; and I don"t think any gentleman would have considered a half-share in a three-and-ninepenny brolly an excuse for putting his arm round a girl"s waist," replied d.i.c.ky, with sudden pa.s.sion.
"He did that?"
"Yes."
"What did you do?"
d.i.c.ky grinned cheerfully.
"I did a pretty bright thing," he said. "It was no business of mine, of course, and I naturally did n"t want to start a brawl on the top of a Piccadilly omnibus--"
"d.i.c.k, what were you doing on the top of an omnibus at all?" demanded Lady Adela unexpectedly. "Such economies are a new feature of your character."
d.i.c.ky nodded his head sagely.
"Yes," he agreed, "that"s a sound point--a sound point. What _was_ I doing on the top of that omnibus at all? That"s the mystery. I was extremely surprised myself. I have spent whole days since, wondering how I got there. I have come to the conclusion that it was Fate--just Fate! That"s it--Fate!"
"My dear boy, don"t talk nonsense," said Lady Adela impatiently.
"But I am quite serious, dear Mum," persisted d.i.c.ky. "I don"t as a rule go following unprotected young females onto the summits of omnibuses--"
Lady Adela"s fine eyes began to protrude, crabwise.
"You _followed_ her?" she gasped.
"I did. What else was there to do?" said d.i.c.ky simply. "I might never have seen her again if I had n"t. Fate does n"t as a rule give a man two chances. I got this one, and I took it. One moment I was walking along Piccadilly, bucking about something to old Tiny Carmyle. Next moment there she was, stepping on to that Piccadilly "bus. In about five seconds I found myself up on top, too, sitting on the seat behind her. I tell you, it must--"
"What became of Mr. Carmyle?" asked Lady Adela, ruthlessly interrupting another rhapsody.
d.i.c.ky smiled vaguely, and rubbed his head.
"Upon my soul, I don"t know," he confessed. "It"s the first time the matter has occurred to me. I expect he went home. He"s a resourceful old creature."