"I must take heed t" my soul," said he, darkly, "lest I be d.a.m.ned for my sins."
Next night Terry Lute knelt at the penitent bench with old Bill Bull.
It will be recalled now that he had heard never a word of Parson Down"s denunciations and appeals, that he had been otherwise and deeply engaged. His response had been altogether a reflection of Bill Bull"s feeling, which he had observed, received, and memorized, and so possessed in the end that he had been overmastered by it, though he was ignorant of what had inspired it. And this, Cobden says, is a sufficient indication of that mastery of subject, of understanding and sympathy, which young Terry Lute later developed and commanded as a great master should, at least to the completion of his picture, in the last example of his work, "The Fang."
At any rate, it must be added that after his conversion Terry Lute was a very good boy for a time.
Terry Lute was in his fourteenth year when he worked on "The Fang."
Skipper Tom did not observe the d.a.m.nable disintegration that occurred, nor was Terry Lute himself at all aware of it. But the process went on, and the issue, a sudden disclosure when it came, was inevitable in the case of Terry Lute. When the northeasterly gales came down with fog, Terry Lute sat on the slimy, wave-lapped ledge overhanging the swirl of water, and watched the spent breaker, streaked with current and flecked with fragments; and he watched, too, the cowering ledge beyond, and the great wave from the sea"s restlessness as it thundered into froth and swept on, and the cliff in the mist, and the approach of the offsh.o.r.e ice, and the woeful departure of the last light of day. But he took no pencil to the ledge; he memorized in his way. He kept watch; he brooded.
In this way he came to know in deeper truth the menace of the sea; not to perceive and grasp it fleetingly, not to hold it for the uses of the moment, but surely to possess it in his understanding.
His purpose, avowed with a chuckle, was to convey fear to the beholder of his work. It was an impish trick, and it brought him unwittingly into peril of his soul.
"I "low," says he between his teeth to Skipper Tom, "that she"ll scare the wits out o" _you_, father."
Skipper Tom laughed.
"She"ll have trouble," he scoffed, "when the sea herself has failed."
"You jus" wait easy," Terry grimly promised him, "till I gets her off the stocks."
At first Terry Lute tentatively sketched. Bits of the whole were accomplished,--flecks of foam and the lines of a current,--and torn up. This was laborious. Here was toil, indeed, and Terry Lute bitterly complained of it. "Twas bother; "twas labor; there wasn"t no _sense_ to it. Terry Lute"s temper went overboard. He sighed and shifted, pouted and whimpered while he worked; but he kept on, with courage equal to his impulse, toiling every evening of that summer until his impatient mother shooed him off to more laborious toil upon the task in his nightmares. The whole arrangement was not attempted for the first time until midsummer. It proceeded, it halted, it vanished.
Seventeen efforts were destroyed, ruthlessly thrust into the kitchen stove with no other comment than a sigh, a sniff of disgust, and a shuddering little whimper.
It was a windy night in the early fall of the year, blowing high and wet, when Terry Lute dropped his crayon with the air of not wanting to take it up again.
He sighed, he yawned.
"I got her done," says he, "confound her!" He yawned again.
"Too much labor, lad," Skipper Tom complained.
"Pshaw!" says Terry, indignantly. "I didn"t _labor_ on her."
Skipper Tom stared aghast in the presence of this monstrously futile prevarication.
"Ecod!" he gasped.
"Why, father," says Terry, airily, "I jus"--sketched her. Do she scare you?"
From Terry Lute"s picture Skipper Tom"s glance ran to Terry Lute"s anxious eyes.
"She do," said he, gravely; "but I"m fair unable t" fathom"--pulling his beard in bewilderment--"the use of it all."
Terry Lute grinned.
It did not appear until the fall gales were blowing in earnest that "The Fang" had made a coward of Terry Lute. There was a gray sea that day, and day was on the wing. There was reeling, noisy water roundabout, turning black in the failing light, and a roaring lee sh.o.r.e; and a gale in the making and a saucy wind were already jumping down from the northeast with a trail of disquieting fog. Terry Lute"s spirit failed; he besought, he wept, to be taken ash.o.r.e. "Oh, I"m woeful scared o" the sea!" he complained. Skipper Tom brought him in from the sea, a whimpering coward, cowering degraded and shamefaced in the stern-sheets of the punt. There were no reproaches. Skipper Tom pulled grimly into harbor. His world had been shaken to ruins; he was grave without hope, as many a man before him has fallen upon the disclosure of inadequacy in his own son.
It was late that night when Skipper Tom and the discredited boy were left alone by the kitchen fire. The gale was down then, a wet wind blowing wildly in from the sea. Tom Lute"s cottage shook in its pa.s.sing fingers, which seemed somehow not to linger long enough to clutch it well, but to grasp in driven haste and sweep on. The boy sat snuggled to the fire for its consolation; he was covered with shame, oppressed, sore, and hopeless. He was disgraced: he was outcast, and now forever, from a world of manly endeavor wherein good courage did the work of the day that every man must do. Skipper Tom, in his slow survey of this aching and pitiful degradation, had an overwhelming sense of fatherhood. He must be wise, he thought; he must be wise and very wary that fatherly helpfulness might work a cure.
The boy had failed, and his failure had not been a thing of unfortuitous chance, not an incident of catastrophe, but a significant expression of character. Terry Lute was a coward, deep down, through and through: he had not lapsed in a panic; he had disclosed an abiding fear of the sea. He was not a coward by any act; no mere wanton folly had disgraced him, but the fallen nature of his own heart. He had failed; but he was only a lad, after all, and he must be helped to overcome. And there he sat, snuggled close to the fire, sobbing now, his face in his hands. Terry Lute knew--that which Skipper Tom did not yet know--that he had nurtured fear of the sea for the scandalous delight of imposing it upon others in the exercise of a devilish impulse and facility.
And he was all the more ashamed. He had been overtaken in iniquity; he was foredone.
"Terry, lad," said Skipper Tom, gently, "you"ve done ill the day."
"Ay, sir."
"I "low," Skipper Tom apologized, "that you isn"t very well."
"I"m not ailin", sir," Terry whimpered.
"An I was you," Skipper Tom admonished, "I"d not spend time in weepin"."
"I"m woebegone, sir."
"You"re a coward, G.o.d help you!" Skipper Tom groaned.
"Ay, sir."
Skipper Tom put a hand on the boy"s knee. His voice was very gentle.
"There"s no place in the world for a man that"s afeard o" the sea," he said. "There"s no work in the world for a coward t" do. What"s fetched you to a pa.s.s like this, lad?"
"Broodin", sir."
"Broodin", Terry? What"s that?"
"Jus" broodin"."
"Not that d.a.m.ned picture, Terry?"
"Ay, sir."
"How can that be, lad?" It was all incomprehensible to Skipper Tom.
""Tis but an unreal thing."
[Ill.u.s.tration: ""You"re a coward, G.o.d help you!" Skipper Tom groaned."]
Terry looked up.
""Tis _real_!" he blazed.
""Tis but a thing o" fancy."