"RICHARD HARDIE."
Julia read this letter, and re-read it in silence. It was an anxious moment to the mother.
"Shall our pride be less than this _parvenu"s?_" she faltered. "Tell me yourself, what ought we to do?"
"What we ought to do is, never to let the name of Hardie be mentioned again in this house."
This reply was very comforting to Mrs. Dodd.
"Shall I write to him, or do you feel strong enough?"
"I feel that, if I do, I may affront him. He had no right to pretend that his father would consent. You write, and then we shall not lose our dignity though we are insulted."
"I feel so weary, mamma." Life seems ended.
"I could have loved him well. And now show me how to tear him out of my heart; or what will become of me?"
While Mrs. Dodd wrote to Alfred Hardie, Julia sank down and laid her head on her mother"s knees. The note was shown her; she approved it languidly. A long and sad conversation followed; and, after kissing her mother and clinging to her, she went to bed chilly and listless, but did not shed a single tear. Her young heart was benumbed by the unexpected blow.
Next morning early, Alfred Hardie started gaily to spend the day at Albion Villa. Not a hundred yards from the gate he met Sarah, with Mrs.
Dodd"s letter, enclosing a copy of his father"s to her. Mrs. Dodd here reminded him that his visits had been encouraged only upon a misapprehension of his father"s sentiments; for which misapprehension he was in some degree to blame: not that she meant to reproach him on that score, especially at this unhappy moment: no, she rather blamed herself for listening to the sanguine voice of youth; but the error must now be repaired. She and Julia would always wish him well, and esteem him, provided he made no further attempt to compromise a young lady who could not be his wife. The note concluded thus--
"Individually I think I have some right to count on your honourable feeling to hold no communication with my daughter, and not in any way to attract her attention, under the present circ.u.mstances.--I am, dear Mr.
Alfred Hardie, with many regrets at the pain I fear I am giving you, your sincere friend and well-wisher,
"LUCY DODD."
Alfred on reading this letter literally staggered: but proud and sensitive, as well as loving, he manned himself to hide his wound from Sarah, whose black eyes were bent on him in merciless scrutiny. He said doggedly, though tremulously, "Very well!" then turned quickly on his heel, and went slowly home. Mrs. Dodd, with well-feigned indifference, questioned Sarah privately: the girl"s account of the abrupt way in which he had received the missive added to her anxiety. She warned the servants that no one was at home to Mr. Alfred Hardie.
Two days elapsed, and then she received a letter from him. Poor fellow, it was the eleventh. He had written and torn up ten.
"DEAR MRS. DODD,--I have gained some victories in my life; but not one without two defeats to begin with; how then can I expect to obtain such a prize as dear Julia without a check or two? You need not fear that I shall intrude after your appeal to me as a gentleman: but I am not going to give in because my father has written a hasty letter from Yorkshire.
He and I must have many a talk face to face before I consent to be miserable for life. Dear Mrs. Dodd, at first receipt of your cruel letter, so kindly worded, I was broken-hearted; but now I am myself again: difficulties are made for ladies to yield to, and for men to conquer. Only for pity"s sake do not you be my enemy; do not set her against me for my father"s fault. Think, if you can, how my heart bleeds at closing this letter without one word to her I love better, a thousand times better, than my life--I am, dear Mrs. Dodd, yours sorrowfully, but not despairing,
"ALFRED HARDIE."
Mrs. Dodd kept this letter to herself. She could not read it quite unmoved, and therefore she felt sure it would disturb her daughter"s heart the more.
Alfred had now a soft but dangerous antagonist in Mrs. Dodd. All the mother was in arms to secure her daughter"s happiness, _coute qu"il coute!_ and the surest course seemed to be to detach her affections from Alfred. What hope of a peaceful heart without this? and what real happiness without peace? But, too wise and calm to interfere blindly, she watched her daughter day and night, to find whether Love or Pride was the stronger, and this is what she observed--
Julia never mentioned Alfred. She sought occupation eagerly: came oftener than usual for money, saying, it was for "Luxury." She visited the poor more constantly, taking one of the maids with her, at Mrs.
Dodd"s request. She studied Logic with Edward. She went to bed rather early, fatigued, it would appear, by her activity: and she gave the clue to her own conduct one day: "Mamma," said she, "n.o.body is downright unhappy who is good."
Mrs. Dodd noticed also a certain wildness and almost violence, with which she threw herself into her occupations, and a worn look about the eyes that told of a hidden conflict. On the whole Mrs. Dodd was hopeful; for she had never imagined the cure would be speedy or easy. To see her child on the right road was much. Only the great healer Time could "medicine her to that sweet peace which once she owned;" and even Time cannot give her back her childhood, thought the mother, with a sigh.
One day came an invitation to an evening party at a house where they always wound up with dancing. Mrs. Dodd was for declining as usual for since that night Julia had shunned parties. "Give me the sorrows of the poor and afflicted," was her cry; "the gaiety of the hollow world jars me more than I can bear." But now she caught with a sort of eagerness at this invitation. "Accept. They shall not say I am wearing the willow."
"My brave girl," said Mrs. Dodd joyfully, "I would not press it; but you are right; we owe it to ourselves to outface scandal. Still, let there be no precipitation; we must not undertake beyond our strength."
"Try me to-night," said Julia; "you don"t know what I can do. I dare say _he_ is not pining for _me._"
She was the life and soul of the party, and, indeed, so feverishly brilliant, that Mrs. Dodd said softly to her, "Gently, love; moderate your spirits, or they will deceive our friends as little as they do me."
Meantime it cost Alfred Hardie a severe struggle to keep altogether aloof from Julia. In fact, it was a state of daily self-denial, to which he would never have committed himself, but that he was quite sure he could gradually win his father over. At his age we are apt to count without our antagonist.
Mr. Richard Hardie was "a long-headed man." He knew the consequence of giving one"s reasons: eternal discussion ending in war. He had taken care not to give any to Mrs. Dodd, and he was as guarded and reserved with Alfred. The young man begged to know the why and the wherefore, and being repulsed, employed all his art to elicit them by surprise, or get at them by inference: but all in vain. Hardie senior was impenetrable; and inquiry, petulance, tenderness, logic, were all shattered on him as the waves break on Ailsa Craig.
Thus began dissension, decently conducted at first, between a father indulgent hitherto and an affectionate son.
In this unfortunate collision of two strong and kindred natures, every advantage was at present on the father"s side: age, experience, authority, resolution, hidden and powerful motives, to which my reader even has no clue as yet; a purpose immutable and concealed. Add to these a colder nature and a far colder affection; for Alfred loved his father dearly.
At last, one day, the impetuous one lost his self-command, and said he was a son, not a slave, and had little respect for Authority when afraid or ashamed to appeal to Reason. Hardie senior turned on him with a gravity and dignity no man could wear more naturally. "Alfred, have I been an unkind father to you all these years?"
"Oh no, father, no; I have said nothing that can be so construed. And that is the mystery to me; you are acting quite out of character."
"Have I been one of those interfering, pragmatical fathers who cannot let their children enjoy themselves their own way?"
"No, sir; you have never interfered, except to pay for anything I wanted."
"Then make the one return in your power, young man: have a little faith in such a father, and believe that he does not interfere now but for your good, and under a stern necessity; and that when he does interfere for once, and say, "This thing shall not be," it shall not be--by Heaven!"
Alfred was overpowered by the weight and solemnity of this. Sorrow, vexation, and despondency all rushed into his heart together, and unmanned him for a moment; he buried his face in his hands, and something very like a sob burst from his young heart. At this Hardie senior took up the newspaper with imperturbable coldness, and wore a slight curl of the lip. All this was hardly genuine, for he was not altogether unmoved; but he was a man of rare self-command, and chose to impress on Alfred that he was no more to be broken or melted than a mere rock.
It is always precarious to act a part; and this cynicism was rather able than wise: Alfred looked up and watched him keenly as he read the monetary article with tranquil interest; and then, for the first time in his life, it flashed into the young man"s mind that his father was not a father. "I never knew him till now," thought he. "This man is [Greek text]."*
*Without bowels of affection.
Thus a gesture, so to speak, sowed the first seed of downright disunion in Richard Hardie"s house--disunion, a fast-growing plant, when men set it in the soil of the pa.s.sions.
Alfred, unlike Julia, had no panacea. Had any lips, except perhaps hers, told him that "to be good is to be happy here below," he would have replied: _"Negatur;_ contradicted by daily experience." It never occurred to him, therefore, to go out of himself, and sympathise with the sordid sorrows of the poor, and their bottomless egotism in contact with the well-to-do. He brooded on his own love, and his own unhappiness, and his own father"s cruelty. His nights were sleepless and his days leaden. He tried hard to read for his first cla.s.s, but for once even ambition failed: it ended in flinging books away in despair.
He wandered about dreaming and moping for some change, and bitterly regretting his excessive delicacy, which had tied his own hands and brought him to a stand-still. He lost his colour and what little flesh he had to lose; for such young spirits as this are never plump. In a word, being now strait-jacketed into feminine inactivity, while void of feminine patience, his ardent heart was pining and fretting itself out.
He was in this condition, when one day Peterson, his Oxonian friend, burst in on him open-mouthed with delight, and, as usual with bright spirits of this calibre, did not even notice his friend"s sadness.
"Cupid had clapped him on the shoulder," as Shakespeare hath it; and it was a deal nicer than the b.u.m-bailiff rheumatism.
"Oh, such a divine creature! Met her twice; you know her by sight; her name is Dodd. But I don"t care; it shall be Peterson; the rose by any other name, &c." Then followed a rapturous description of the lady"s person, well worth omitting. "And such a jolly girl! brightens them all up wherever she goes; and such a dancer; did the cachouka with a little Spanish bloke Bosanquet has got hold of, and made his black bolus eyes twinkle like midnight cigars: danced it with castanets, and smiles, and such a what d"ye call "em, my boy, you know; such a "go.""
"You mean such an "abandon,"" groaned Alfred, turning sick at heart.
"That"s the word. Twice the spirit of Duvernay, and ten times the beauty. But just you hear her sing, that is all; Italian, French, German, English even."
"Plaintive songs?"
"Oh, whatever they ask for. Make you laugh or make you cry to order; never says no. Just smiles and sits down to the music-box. Only she won"t sing two running: they have to stick a duffer in between. I shall meet her again next week; will you come? Any friend of mine is welcome.
Wish me joy, old fellow; I"m a gone c.o.o.n."
This news put Alfred in a phrensy of indignation and fear. Julia dancing the cachouka! Julia a jolly girl! Julia singing songs pathetic or merry, whichever were asked for! The heartless one! He called to mind all he had read in the cla.s.sics, and elsewhere, about the fickleness of woman.