Chapter 5.2
As expected, when I stiffly turned around I saw Yin Li leaning casually against the doorway. I didn’t even dare look at his face, but I somehow summoned up the courage and said, “What’s wrong with you! You don’t even knock before entering?!”
“The door was open.”
Unsatisfied with his response, I pointed to the wall of photos and criticized, “It’s all the fault of this room’s bad feng shui!1 With so many photos on the wall, everyone who enters becomes stupid, like they’re possessed! Ai! Looking at the person in those photos gives me the creeps, even my mind’s in a mess! I don’t even know what happened to me!”
1Pretty sure everyone knows what feng shui is, but for those of you that are in the dark, feng shui is this Chinese pseudoscience-y thing that’s like…architecture/room deco but arranging things so they’re auspicious.
Yin Li remained silent, so I stealthily snuck a peek at him and saw that he was staring at the photos, lost in thought. Warning lights went off in my head, not good! I was a fool, if this woman’s photographs were able to appear in Yin Li’s house, Yin Li must truly miss her a lot!
Yin Li’s attention at last returned to me. “Yan Xiao, did you immediately dislike her when you saw her?”
I forced a smile. “Actually, I get jealous of others very easily. Seeing someone who’s prettier than me, richer than me, and more graceful than me, makes me feel very uncomfortable.” Then I added, “See, even you admire her, right? Just that fact alone would make others detest her.”
“I don’t admire her.” Yin Li turned his attention away from me, taking another look at the girl on the wall. His expression certainly didn’t feel like admiration, instead like he was pondering something.
At this
time, I regained my courage. “Yeah, in fact, not admiring her means you have good taste.”
“Oh?”
I nicely explained for Yin Li, “Don’t you know? Women who do ballet have no b.o.o.bs! Look at how skinny this girl is! This chest—HD flat-screen TV! Too tragic! Thank G.o.d you don’t like her! There are plenty of fish in the sea!2 There’s no need for you to look for love in a flat chest.”
2The original text uses the idiom 天涯何处无芳草, which translates literally to “in this big world, what place lacks fragrant gra.s.s?” Pretty sure the meaning is clear lmao.
In my mind I was already sure than this woman was Yin Li’s former love. Towards an ex, most people hope that after breaking up, the other person’s life becomes more and more miserable. In order to flatter Yin Li, I naturally didn’t hesitate to spare anyone from insult, and furthermore, I honestly didn’t like the girl in the photos very much.
Yin Li nodded with apparent approval. “En.”
Pleased with myself, I smiled at him.
He smiled back. “Yan Xiao, she is my younger sister, Yin Xuan.”
“Oh.” My scalp felt numb, like five lightning strikes had landed on it, as I backpedaled, “Even with a flat chest, she must be amazing. You see, ballet dancers have an aura that sets them apart from others, very n.o.ble!”
Yin Li stared at me. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” Then, he gave me a look full of confusion. “You shouldn’t be like this.”
Knowing that he was talking about the me from the past, I immediately felt hopeless. With a slight feeling that I should just give up and stop bothering, I responded, “In any case, this is who I am now. Just now, didn’t you see it? You definitely think I’m an idiot, that I’m always
always causing trouble and I can’t sense the atmosphere,3 right?” I didn’t know or understand what I was like in the past, which made me feel like a failure. My silly actions in front of the mirror earlier, which were for my own amus.e.m.e.nt, must have looked to Yin Li like narcissism, I thought with some desperation.
3The original text uses the phrase 跳梁小丑, which translates literally to “a clown jumping off a bridge”. It’s a chengyu (Chinese idiom) meaning “a bad person who constantly stirs up trouble and can’t sense/doesn’t respect the atmosphere”.
Yin Li stared blankly. “I didn’t mean at all that your current self is bad, just that your past self was different.” His response didn’t answer my question, but when he then directed his gaze elsewhere, I knew that he didn’t want to continue on that topic.
But I couldn’t contain my curiosity. “Did I know your sister before?”
Yin Li furrowed his brow. I knew my question was past his boundaries but he still politely responded, “No, you two weren’t acquainted and had never met.
“She’s been living in Europe for a long time and hasn’t returned home for a visit these past years. I went to Europe not only for work but also to see her.”
I made a sound of acknowledgement, withdrawing my gaze from the photos of Yin Xuan. “Is she doing ballet in Europe?”
“Yes.” Yin Li refused to touch anymore on this topic. “Come with me to the study, I have some questions for you.”
Afterwards, I followed him out of the room and watched as he locked the door. Those dazzlingly reflective mirrors were shut away inside and this ballet practice room would once again sink into the dust. At that moment a baffling feeling appeared in my heart; undoubtedly this room made me uncomfortable, yet I felt
I felt a slight sense of loss, the origins of which were a mystery to me. Tucking away my disappointment, I could only attribute my odd feelings to premenstrual syndrome .
Then I obediently followed Yin Li to the study. It was my first time inside, turned out it was different from my expectations and didn’t have a simple, minimalist style. Instead, antique curios4 were arranged everywhere, giving it an elegant atmosphere.
4Chinese curios can be small ornaments carved out of jade or other precious stones, miniature statues of animals or people, little ceramic vases or tea cups, etc. They’re usually displayed in fancy carved wooden boxes/shelves.
Imagine Yin Li’s office with this sorta stuff. (Source: Taiwan National Palace Museum website)
He walked to the desk, took out a newspaper, and spread it out for me to see. “What happened here?” His tone held no reproach, but his eyes watched me closely. I cowered for no reason, but then tremblingly lifted my head back up to look at the newspaper.
Half of its entire page was occupied by a color photo. Above the photo in giant letters was the line “Notice: Looking For This Person”, I guessed that it was probably Mo Xing Zhi who had stuck it on there for me.
Only then did I carefully examine the picture, and what I saw almost made me faint.
Turns out it was a picture of me sitting in the wheelchair. Worst of all, he’d chosen the ugliest one out of the bunch where my eyes just so happened to be mid-blink when it was taken. When I picked up the newspaper with my hands shaking to take a closer look at it, I discovered that under the postmodern-art-looking t.i.tle, besides a line giving a telephone number to contact, there was also this rhyme:
“I awokethis rhyme:
“I awoke from a nightmare, but forgot all of my past.
Yesterday’s matters, I can no longer grasp.
Will there be anyone who, taking hold of my hand,
Will guide me past today, guide me towards tomorrow, tell me my name and my fate?
I have always been waiting for the knowledgeable you,
To help me regain the treasures that I’ve misplaced.”
Niang Niang: im really sad guys… candle deleted my ghetto af translations i think they are 10x better than normal english. THIS IS WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN:
As expected, when I stiffly turned around I saw Yin Li leaning casually against the doorway like uhh whaddup dawggg. I didn’t even dare look at his face. I hardened my b.a.l.l.s and said: “How could you be like this! You don’t even knock before entering?! GOTTA KNOCK BEFORE YOU TUCK IT DAWG”
“The door was open dawg.”
I couldn’t accept such blasphemy and pointed to the wall of photos, criticizing, “This room’s Feng Shui is s.h.i.t yoo! All these photos are making me fakking ret.u.r.ded dawg. A f.o.o.kin curse! AISHHH! My brain’s a hot mess! I don’t even know waddaf.o.o.k I’m doing dawwwg!”
Candle: f.o.o.k dat desu
Candle: Also, I spent extra effort figuring out how to translate that last part so it all rhymed while still keeping the original meaning lol. In the original text it’s much shorter, but then again Chinese can be shorter than English syllable-wise yet stuff in more nuance. To make it more ….emotional..or maybe poetic, I guess, I thought turning it into a rhyme would be a good idea.
Niang Niang: Candle and I are going off to the great PRC where WordPress is blocked (we think). The chapters will still update but we might not be able to approve comments. We’ll be back in 3ish weeks.