"Am Mahser Zanty Claws any lashun to dat ar ole man wiff de allspice hoof?" asked Washington Webster, with a scared look.
"Allspice hoof! Lissen at dat ar foolish young crow. _Clove_ hoof, yo"
means," said Queen Victoria. "Dat"s anodder gemman "tirely. Mahser Zanty Claws am _good_. He gits yo" dolls, an" candies, an" apples, an" nuts, an" books, an" drums, an" wissels, an" new cloze."
"Golly! wish he"d frow some trowsus an" jackits an" sich like fruit "roun" here," said Christopher Columbus.
"Trowsus wiff red "spenders an" a pistil pockit," said Washington Webster, "an" a gole watch, an" a sled all yaller, wiff green stars on it, an"--"
"Yo" bofe talk "s if yo"d bin awful good," interrupted Queen Victoria.
"Maybe Mahser Zanty Claws disagree wiff yo"."
"Who dat ar done gone git her head cracked wiff de wooden spoon fur gobblin" all de hom"ny befo" de breakfuss war ready?" said Washington Webster, slyly.
"I "most wish dar war no Washington Websters in de hull worle--I certainly do. Dey"s too sa.s.sy to lib," said Queen Victoria. "An" _sich_ busybodies--dey certainly is."
"But how am we to know wedder we"s Mahser Zanty Claws"s kine o" good chillun?" said Christopher Columbus. "We"s might be good nuff fur ourseffs, an" not good nuff fur him. If I knowed he come yere certain sure, I git some green ornamuntses from ole Pete Campout--he done gone got hunderds an" hunderds an" piles an" piles--to stick up on de walls, an" make de house look more despectable like."
"Let"s go an" ax Miss Bowles," said Queen Victoria. "Baby Bowles am fa.s.s asleep, an" she"s in de kitchen makin" pies, an" she know ebberyting--she certainly do."
And off they all trooped, Primrose Ann, cat, and all.
"Come in," called the pleasant voice of their landlady, when they rapped on her door; and in they tumbled, asking the same question all together in one breath: "Mahser Zanty Claws comin" to our house, Miss Bowles?"
Christopher Columbus adding, ""Pears dough we muss ornamentem some if he do."
Mrs. Bowles crimped the edge of her last pie, and then sat down, the children standing in a row before her.
"Have you all been very good?" she said. "Suppose you tell me what good thing you have done since yesterday afternoon. Then I can guess about Santa Claus."
"Primrose Ann cried fur dat ar orange yo" gib me," said Queen Victoria, after a moment"s thought, "an" I eat it up quick "s I could, an" didn"t gib her none, "cause I"s "fraid she git de stummick-ache."
"I car"d home de washin" fur mommy fur two cakes an" some candy," said Washington Webster.
"And you?" asked Mrs. Bowles, turning to Christopher Columbus.
"I ran "way from "Dolphus Snow, an" wouldn"t fight him, "cause I "fraid I hurt him," said Christopher, gravely.
Mrs. Bowles laughed merrily. "Go home and ornament," she said. "I am sure Santa Claus will pay you a visit."
And he did; for on Christmas morning, when the young Van Johnsons rushed pell-mell, helter-skelter, into the room prepared for his call, a new jacket hung on one chair, a new pair of trousers on the other; a doll"s head peeped out of Queen Victoria"s stocking; a new sled, gayly painted, announced itself in big letters "The Go Ahead"; lots of toys were waiting for Primrose Ann; and four papers of goodies reposed on the lowest shelf of the cupboard.
""Pears dat ar Mahser Zanty Claws don"t take zact measure fur boys"
cloze," said Christopher Columbus, as he tried to struggle into the jacket. "Dis yere jackit"s twicet too small."
"An" dis yere trowsusloons am twicet too big," said Washington Webster, as he drew them up to his armpits.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "LOR BRESS YOU, HONEY-BUGS! YO" HAS GOT TINGS MIXED."--DRAWN BY J. E. KELLY.]
"Lor" bress you, honey-bugs!" called their mommy from the doorway, "yo"
_has_ got tings mixed. Dat ar jackit"s fur de odder boy, an" dem trowsus too." And they all burst out laughing as Christopher Columbus and Washington Webster exchanged Christmas gifts, and laughed so loud that Mrs. Bowles came, over to see what was the matter, bringing Baby Bowles, who, seeing how jolly everybody was, began clapping her tiny hands, and shouting, "Melly Kissme! melly Kissme!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO.--DRAWN BY KATE GREENAWAY.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
PET AND HER CAT.
Now, p.u.s.s.y, I"ve something to tell you: You know it is New-Year"s Day; The big folks are down in the parlor, And mamma is just gone away.
We are all alone in the nursery, And I want to talk to you, dear; So you must come and sit by me, And make believe you hear.
You see, there"s a new year coming-- It only begins to-day.
Do you know I was often naughty In the year that is gone away?
You know I have some bad habits, I"ll mention just one or two; But there really is quite a number Of naughty things that I do.
You see, I don"t learn my lessons, And oh! I do hate them so; I doubt if I know any more to-day Than I did a year ago.
Perhaps I am awfully stupid; They say I"m a dreadful dunce.
How would you like to learn spelling?
I wish you could try it once.
And don"t you remember Christmas-- "Twas naughty, I must confess-- But while I was eating my dinner I got two spots on my dress.
And they caught me stealing the sugar; But I only got two little bits, When they found me there in the closet, And frightened me out of my wits.
And, p.u.s.s.y, when people scold me, I"m always so sulky then; If they only would tell me gently, I never would do it again.
Oh, p.u.s.s.y! I know I am naughty, And often it makes me cry: I think it would count for something, If they knew how hard I try.
But I"ll try again in the new year, And oh! I shall be so glad If I only can be a good little girl, And never do anything bad!
HOW SUNKEN SHIPS ARE RAISED.
When a ship sinks some distance from the sh.o.r.e in several fathoms of water, and the waves conceal her, it may seem impossible to some of our readers that she can ever be floated again; but if she rests upon a firm sandy bottom, without rocks, and the weather is fair enough for a time to give the wreckers an opportunity, it is even probable that she can be brought into port.
In Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Norfolk, and New Orleans, large firms are established whose special business it is to send a.s.sistance to distressed vessels, and to save the cargo if the vessels themselves can not be prevented from becoming total wrecks; and these firms are known as wreckers--a name which in the olden time was given to a cla.s.s of heartless men dwelling on the coast who lured ships ash.o.r.e by false lights for the sake of the spoils which the disaster brought them.
When a vessel is announced to be ash.o.r.e or sunk, the owners usually apply to the wreckers, and make a bargain with them that they shall receive a certain proportion of her value if they save her, and the wreckers then proceed to the scene of the accident, taking with them powerful tug-boats, large pontoons, immense iron cables, and a ma.s.sive derrick.