They pa.s.sed a group of gloomy nuns, a ragged man wearing chains, and the Fat Friar, a cheerful Hufflepuff ghost, who was talking to a knight with an arrow sticking out of his forehead. Draco wasn"t surprised to see that the b.l.o.o.d.y Baron, a gaunt, staring Slytherin ghost covered in silver bloodstains, was being given a wide berth by the other ghosts. Both of them made eye contact with each other and nodded in greeting."Oh, no," said Hermione, stopping abruptly. "Turn back, turn back, I don"t want to talk to Moaning Myrtle —"
"Who?" said Harry as they backtracked quickly.
"She haunts one of the toilets in the girls" bathroom on the first floor," said Hermione.
"She haunts a toilet?"
"Yes. It"s been out-of-order all year because she keeps having tantrums and flooding the place. I never went in there anyway if I could avoid it; it"s awful trying to have a pee with her wailing at you—"
"Look, food!" said Ron.
On the other side of the dungeon was a long table, also covered in black velvet. They approached it eagerly but next moment had stopped in their tracks, horrified. The smell was quite disgusting. Large, rotten fish was laid on handsome silver platters; cakes, burned charcoal-black, were heaped on salvers; there was a great maggoty haggis, a slab of cheese covered in furry green mold and, in pride of place, an enormous gray cake in the shape of a tombstone, with tar-like icing forming the words,
SIR NICHOLAS DE MIMSY-PORPINGTON
DIED 31ST OCTOBER, 1492
Draco watched, lazily, as a portly ghost approached the table, crouched low, and walked through it, his mouth held wide so that it pa.s.sed through one of the stinking salmon.
"Can you taste it if you walk through it?" Harry asked him.
"Almost," said the ghost sadly, and he drifted away.
"I expect they"ve let it rot to give it a stronger flavor," said Hermione knowledgeably, pinching her nose and leaning closer to look at the putrid haggis.
"It"s more of a feeling actually." Draco commented, "Spirits or ghost, are attracted to the rotten feeling as it gives off a negative aura in the air. Which correlates with the spirits."
"Can we move? I feel sick," said Ron.
They had barely turned around, however, when a little man swooped suddenly from under the table and came to a halt in midair before them.
"h.e.l.lo, Peeves," said Harry cautiously.
Unlike the ghosts around them, Peeves the Poltergeist was the very reverse of pale and transparent. He was wearing a bright orange party hat, a revolving bow tie, and a broad grin on his wide, wicked face.
"Nibbles?" he said sweetly, offering them a bowl of peanuts covered in fungus.
"No thanks," said Hermione.
"Heard you talking about poor Myrtle," said Peeves, his eyes dancing. "Rude you was about poor Myrtle." He took a deep breath and bellowed, "OY! MYRTLE!"
"Oh, no, Peeves, don"t tell her what I said, she"ll be really upset," Hermione whispered frantically. "I didn"t mean it, I don"t mind her — er, h.e.l.lo, Myrtle."
The squat ghost of a girl had glided over. She had the glummest face Draco had ever seen, half-hidden behind lank hair and thick, pearly spectacles.
"What?" she said sulkily.
"How are you, Myrtle?" said Hermione in a falsely bright voice. "It"s nice to see you out of the toilet."
Draco was amused on the side as it was quite rare to see Hermione acting fake, he wondered how weird Myrtle might be to make even Hermione act awkward.
Myrtle sniffed.
"Miss Granger was just talking about you —" said Peeves slyly in Myrtle"s ear. "Just saying —"
"Just saying — saying — how nice you look tonight," said Hermione, glaring at Peeves. Myrtle eyed Hermione suspiciously.
"You"re making fun of me," she said, silver tears welling rapidly in her small, see-through eyes.
"No — honestly — didn"t I just say how nice Myrtle"s looking?" said Hermione, nudging Draco painfully in the ribs who was gleaming at her.
"Oh, yeah, she was telling us how nice you were." Draco said with a weird tone.
"Don"t lie to me," Myrtle gasped, tears now flooding down her face, while Peeves chuckled happily over her shoulder. "D"you think I don"t know what people call me behind my back? Fat Myrtle! Ugly Myrtle! Miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle!"
"You"ve forgotten pimply," Peeves hissed in her ear.
Moaning Myrtle burst into anguished sobs and fled from the dungeon. Peeves shot after her, pelting her with moldy peanuts, yelling, "Pimply! Pimply!"
"Oh, dear," said Hermione sadly.
Nearly Headless Nick now drifted toward them through the crowd. "Enjoying yourselves?"
"Oh, yes," they lied.
"Not a bad turnout," said Nearly Headless Nick proudly. "The Wailing Widow came all the way up from Kent…It"s nearly time for my speech, I"d better go and warn the orchestra…"
The orchestra, however, stopped playing at that very moment. They and everyone else in the dungeon fell silent, looking around in excitement, as a hunting horn sounded.
"Oh, here we go," said Nearly Headless Nick bitterly.
Through the dungeon, wall burst a dozen ghost horses, each ridden by a headless horseman. The a.s.sembly clapped wildly; The golden trio clapped started to clap, too, but stopped quickly at the sight of Nick"s face. On the other hand, Draco was just there wondering how bored all these ghosts must be.
The horses galloped into the middle of the dance floor and halted, rearing and plunging. At the front of the pack was a large ghost who held his bearded head under his arm, from which position he was blowing the horn. The ghost leaped down, lifted his head high in the air so he could see over the crowd (everyone laughed), and strode over to Nearly Headless Nick, squashing his head back onto his neck.
"Nick!" he roared. "How are you? Head still hanging in there?"
He gave a hearty guffaw and clapped Nearly Headless Nick on the shoulder.
"Welcome, Patrick," said Nick stiffly."Live "uns!" said Sir Patrick, spotting Draco, Harry, Ron, and Hermione and giving a huge, fake jump of astonishment, so that his head fell off again (the crowd howled with laughter).
"Very amusing," said Nearly Headless Nick darkly.
"Don"t mind Nick!" shouted Sir Patrick"s head from the floor. "Still upset we won"t let him join the Hunt! But I mean to say — look at the fellow —"
"I think," said Harry hurriedly, at a meaningful look from Nick, "Nick"s very — frightening and — er —"
"Ha!" yelled Sir Patrick"s head.
"Bet he asked you to say that!"
"Did he?" Draco asked with a smirk to which Harry stayed silent.
"If I could have everyone"s attention, it"s time for my speech!" said Nearly Headless Nick loudly, striding toward the podium and climbing into an icy blue spotlight.
"My late lamented lords, ladies, and gentlemen, it is my great sorrow…"
But n.o.body heard much more. Sir Patrick and the rest of the Headless Hunt had just started a game of Head Hockey and the crowd was turning to watch. Nearly Headless Nick tried vainly to recapture his audience, but gave up as Sir Patrick"s head went sailing past him to loud cheers.
Draco was very cold by now, not to mention hungry.
"I can"t stand much more of this," Ron muttered, his teeth chattering, as the orchestra ground back into action and the ghosts swept back onto the dance floor.
"I never thought I would say this but I agree with Weasley." Draco said, "I"d rather sit back with pumpkins all around me than here."
They backed toward the door, nodding and beaming at anyone who looked at them, and a minute later were hurrying back up the pa.s.sageway full of black candles.
"I am sorry, your last night here turned out to be such a disaster." Hermione apologized looking a bit sad.
"Don"t worry about it." Draco said, "As I said, it"s all about experiences isn"t it. And I am sure no amount of memory charm would ever make me forget this one."
Hermione smiled a little as they kept rushing towards the hall in case there was still some food left.
"Pudding might not be finished yet," said Ron hopefully, leading the way toward the steps to the entrance hall.
Suddenly Harry stopped as he heard something.
"…rip…tear…kill…"