_Rand._ If you don"t drop that second-hand stuff of Hudson"s, and tell me who the girl is, by Jove, I"ll tell every man in college about it, and it shall be a very amusing story before I get through with it, I promise you.
_Burl._ Well, you see--er--Steve"s mother is going to be there and he wants me to meet her.
_Rand._ Oho! That is it, is it? Steve"s _mother_ is going to be there.
Ha-ha-ha, that is pretty weak, old fox. I suppose, of course, there is no chance of _Miss_ Hudson being there too. Well, if she is half as pretty as her photograph, I don"t blame you for going in. Egad, though, Ned, I would like to see you talking to her.
_Burl._ I have no doubt you would, sweet me child, but you won"t. That is just where the best point of this funny joke comes in. While I am talking to Miss Hudson, you will be out here, at the rehearsal, getting sworn at. "Go over that chorus again." "Randolph, you"re out of step."
_Rand._ d.a.m.n the rehearsal. Never mind, Miss Hudson will probably be on here for some time, and I shall get another chance of meeting her. When I do, I will make a particular point of cutting you out. You won"t be in it, even if you are her brother"s chum.
_Burl._ [_getting up_]. You are talking too much. Come now, run along. I have got to dress.
_Rand._ I wish I had time to watch you do it. I don"t believe you have put on a claw-hammer coat since you"ve been up here, except for club dinners.
_Burl._ Oh, go round to your rehearsal. You will be late.
_Rand._ [_going to hall door_]. If it doesn"t begin on time, I"ll come back here and help you untangle your neck-tie. Don"t make yourself too pretty. Leave me some chance with Miss H. [_Exit._]
_Burl._ Jack is too fresh to-night. Come, pup. [_Picks up Topsy and exits into bedroom._]
[_Enter a certain Prof. Shreedy (unattached to the University.) He softly closes door after him, and knocks on inside_].
_Burl._ [_from bedroom_]. Come in.
_Shreedy_ [_aside_]. I will. [_Calls_] Is Mr. Hudson in, I dunno?
_Burl._ [_putting his head out of his bedroom_]. Hullo, is that you, Shreedy? No, Mr. Hudson is not in, and he won"t take any sparring lesson to-night any way.
_Shreedy_. Well, I just come to see him about a little matter of business, see? Maybe you might----
_Burl._ No I mightn"t. There is not a dollar in the firm, Shreedy, anywhere. Hudson has gone in town. I can"t give you a cent, and if you don"t get out of here pretty quickly, I may have to borrow a car fare from you. Call again next week. Good evening, and get out. [_Slams door._]
_Shr._ Ain"t he getting pretty flip? The lippy dude! Maybe he thinks he can put me off that way. Hudson gone in town, ah, rats! What an old gag.
I"ll wait round awhile, "cause I got to have that money to-night. I"ll lay for him in this other room, that"s what I"ll do, and nab him when he comes in. [_Helps himself to two or three cigars and goes into Hudson"s bedroom._]
[_A soft knock on door, then enter Mrs. and Miss Hudson._]
_Mrs. Hudson._ Well, this is strange, I should think Steve would have taken more care to meet us here.
_Miss Hudson._ Perhaps he has just gone out for a minute.
_Mrs. H._ He ought to have been on the lookout for the carriage, and not compelled us to come up here after waiting twenty minutes at the door.
_Miss. H._ He may not have received your telegram.
_Mrs. H._ And has gone in town to meet us there? Good gracious! I hope not. Well, we will wait a little while and see. But it is rather awkward for two ladies to be visiting a college room in the evening in this way, even if I am the mother of the occupant.
_Miss H._ I think it is lots of fun. What a jolly room he has. I wish I were a boy.
_Mrs. H._ Under the present circ.u.mstances, my dear, I wish so too. He _has_ arranged his room pretty well for a man.
_Miss H._ Now, let us look at all his things. We will begin with the mantel-piece.
[_They both turn toward mantel, backs to room._]
[_Enter Burleigh from his bedroom in evening trousers, no coat or waistcoat, and four or five white cravats in his hand. Without seeing the visitors, he crosses the room to the looking-gla.s.s, which hangs on the wall opposite the fireplace, where the visitors are standing._]
_Burl._ [_to himself_]. Now for the great agony. Oh, life is very short for this sort of thing. If Steve"s family could only see me tying my cravat, they would realize what devotion--[_Suddenly sees women in the gla.s.s and starts._] Good Lord! [_Turns head slowly and looks at Mrs. and Miss H. whose backs are still turned._] Oh, what in Heaven"s name shall I do? I can"t get back to my room. Ha! the screen! [_Dives behind a tall screen near the gla.s.s._]
_Miss H._ Look at all these pipes! And what a horrid smell of tobacco!
_Mrs. H._ I see that Steve"s chum, Mr. Burleigh, smokes.
_Burl._ [_aside over screen_]. And Jack Randolph just made the horrid smell with one of Steve"s weeds.
_Miss H._ [_finding on the mantel-piece a champagne bottle marked "aetat 21"_]. Oh, look at this!
_Burl._ [_aside over screen_]. Now she has got hold of the memento of Steve"s birthday. What next?
_Mrs. H._ [_putting on gla.s.ses and taking bottle_]. Hm! I suppose that Mr. Burleigh also drinks. I hope my son does all in his power to restrain his comrade.
_Miss H._ I am so glad we are going to see the great Ned Burleigh at last. Steve says he is so interesting--such a _funny_ old bird.
_Burl._ [_aside_]. d.a.m.n him!
_Mrs. H._ I wonder where they are. One of them must be around, for they would not both go away, and leave their light burning. We cannot wait much longer.
[_Enter Hudson, hurriedly._]
_Hud._ Forgot my gloves, of course, and had to come back. Hullo, mother!
why, how did you two get here?
_Mrs. H._ Didn"t you get my telegram?
_Hud._ Telegram? No, I suppose the boy will leave it, on his way to breakfast, in the morning.
_Mrs. H._ We had to come out to Cambridge to a dinner at Prof.
Fullaloves, and thought we would stop on the way back with the carriage, and take you boys into the a.s.sembly. I telegraphed you this afternoon.
_Hud._ Well, it is lucky I came back. Have you been here long? Have you seen Ned Burleigh?
_Miss H._ Your chum? No.
_Hud._ That is good. He must have started in. If you had dropped in on Ned all alone here, he would have had twenty Dutch fits.
_Miss H._ Now, Steve, before we go, you must show us all your things.
[_Picking up photographs from mantel-piece_] Why, who are these?