Publishedat 23rd of March 2020 05:50:03 AM
Chapter 42
Hazure Skill ‘Mapping’ wo Te ni s.h.i.ta Ore wa, Saikyou Party to Tomo ni Dungeon ni Idomu Chapter 42
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Her Truth and Confession
Translator: Masakibluei
I’m shock from hearing the truth from Erin . At that time, I found an objective to move forward from my meaningless life because of the Arrivers’ self-introduction . But that precious memory is actually mixed with lies . As a result, I feel a little bit sad because I was betrayed . But her confession does not stop here .
Erin: “There are other things too . Especially, this is about you, Note… . ”
Note: “Me?”
Erin: “Yes . Actually, in the past, I wanted you to get out of our group…”
Note: “In the past……Is this about the time when you were mad at me and told me that I was lazy……?”
Erin: “Not that one . From the beginning . From the moment you joined us……no, more precisely, even before you joined . ”
When I peer into Erin’s eyes pupil, the contents of her eyes are void . She already exhausted all of her emotions and what is left inside of her is only emptiness .
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Erin: “I hate a person who likes to sell out about himself like my previous cla.s.smates . Because of having a useless skill, you abased yourself . You also have the tendency to be jealous of others . Therefore I did not want to be influenced by a miserable person like you . I thought, since everyone in the group are top cla.s.s adventurers, it would work out somehow for me . However, you barged in and joined the group with your dirty feet . So, I decided to force you out . “
Note: “Forcing me out…”
Erin: “You got some ideas about it, right? I told you in the kitchen when we met for the first time . I was against the idea of you joining the party . During the false charge of kidnapping with Neme too . Don’t you think I was too harsh on you? During that incident, I finally found an excuse to force you out . Even if it was against your will, I tried to force you out . “
My memories with Erin at that incident start to change its color a little bit . At that time, had she thought like this as well? Was that how she truly felt? I come to realize that I really do not know and understand Erin at all . I only had been looking at her superficial appearance .
Erin: “I kept my cold att.i.tude to you for this reason . But I was wrong . Note was different from my cla.s.smates . Furthermore, you are far stronger and more decent than me who tried to put you into turmoil . “
Note: “I am a decent and strong person?”
I want to open my mouth to rebuke but Erin stops me and continue speaking .
Erin: “Yes . When I was running away and continue to spend time lazily, Note, you faced your own weaknesses and worked really hard to change it . Since I joined Arrivers, I never practiced my spell even once, but you were learning and practicing arts all the time . Then you have improved, but I haven’t changed at all . “
Note: “I am not a person who deserves such compliments . If I fight with Erin, Erin is much stronger……”
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Erin: “I am a weak person . Even if I win with my skill, there is no meaning if I lose my heart . For a human being, talent is necessary, but effort is even more important . Even if you have a rare talent, without putting any effort it will become pointless . “
Her confession is nearly finished . She already spilled out all of her feelings and she also spoke about everything that she wanted to say .
Erin: “You do have talent . A talent for putting all of your efforts . And also, a talent to keep moving ahead . I’m sure you will achieve a great accomplishment in the future . I guarantee . That’s why, leave me here and find a way to get out from this floor by yourself . Certainly, you will be fine by yourself . It might be easier to get out of this place without me . Although I don’t want to die alone in this dark place, I will bear with it . This kind of death is worthy for a person like me who keeps on hurting others . “
Note: “Why did you say that! Let’s go together……”
Erin: “I can’t do it anymore . I already lost all of my heart . Just leave me here . ”
By looking at her pleading eyes, I finally get to know her real nature . At last . At last, I’m able to understand her . Her real feelings and her real perception about me . I start to speak to rebuke her opinion .
Note: “It’s not true . I’m just lucky . I was able to changed because I met Arrivers . That’s all . I was the one who by chance joined the Arrivers, unlike you Erin . “
Erin is just like my old self . She is just like me before I met the Arrivers . I was filled with guilt of hurting Miya .
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Note: “I used to be exactly like you . I was a weak person . I refused to face my own weaknesses . But I met the Arrivers and it changed me . That was the only difference . “
Erin: “In my case, I did not change at all after I joined the Arrivers! I could not change myself! Because I’m a weak person! You are different! You are able to change yourself because of your own effort! Meanwhile, it’s my own fault that I cannot change myself!”
Note: “No! You are not bad, Erin! People can change for better or worse after meeting someone else . But it depends on who you met and how they influence you . “
I become emotional as I gaze into Erin’s eyes intensely .
Note: “For me, the Arrivers is my salvation, but for Erin, the Arrivers is not your salvation . It’s just a slightly misplaced b.u.t.ton . If the situation and the timing are slightly different, the result might be the opposite . A future where Erin has changed while I have not changed at all might exist . “
I got a trash skill and betrayed my childhood friend .
While Erin got an amazing skill, she betrayed her only friend .
Then I was able to slightly change my miserable self after I joined the Arrivers .
While Erin had not changed at all since she joined the Arrivers .
We are really helplessly similar . Although we are similar, we proceed in the opposite direction . It’s such a pity .
Right now, she still feels frustrated . She has not been able to release her anguish . I understand because we are similar . The frustration was gnawing at my own heart . I denied myself and nearly erased my own self . It was striking and unbearable pain .
Inside that desperation, Erin who has no salvation and wants to die is really pitiful . I won’t let Erin die while having a grudge on her own life . Especially not in this place . I really wish for her well being because I can understand her despair .
Note: “That’s why Erin surely will be able to find salvation like me if you choose to live on . I really hope that you do . ”
In a world where a small wish like this is hard to realize, salvation might be a little too much to hope for . A world where a girl has to deny herself and die alone has to be a mistaken one . I won’t acknowledge it even little bit .
Erin: “You keep on saying about staying alive……But I can’t get out from this floor . I have no confidence to do so…”
Note: “It’s okay, even if you don’t have any confidence . I’ll take Erin out from this dungeon . No matter what kind of method or sacrifice that I need to do, I will help you to return . Which is why I want you to believe in me . You can do it, right? After all, you told me that I am a strong person . You acknowledged me . “
Erin who is influenced by my smile starts to raise the corner of her lips . This is her first real smile since she came into this level .
Erin: “You foolish……”
Note: “It’s fine being foolish . Let’s go home together . To the Purith town where everyone is waiting for us . ”
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