Headed By A Snake

He was granted permission to utilize the kitchens at the inn... the... "Vertically-Challenged Person Defecating Into A Bucket Inn," he believed it was called. On the following morning, Dragan was going to travel by Sea Wolf s.h.i.+p west towards Bael Turath.

Sending word to the Gatekeepers was an unfortunate duty that fell to Tycon and Sol Invictus as first-responders. It would be socially irresponsible not to. Tycon was going to send Taree with him. From Bael Turath, the pair could head to the Free Nations, where Dragan could nurture Taree with the resources he commanded there.

She wanted to become strong. The Free Nations-- some would call it the Beast Kingdoms, would provide her with that opportunity.

Tycon was preparing a decent meal for Invictus (and for the inn goers that came in for the lunch rush.) It was his way of thanking the silver-haired whelp, Kimura Taree, for accompanying them. He and Lone were working on a full picnic basket for her and Pale, to be full of sandwiches, side dishes, and a cotton cake.

"Mister Lone."

"Yes, chef!" Barza Keith, the Lone Shadowdark, brandished two kitchen knives, one in each hand.

Tycon glared with incredulity, "What... are you doing?"

"I uh... I was cutting the tomatoes like you asked, Boss?"

Walking over, Tycon looked over to a pile of unevenly cut, pointed chunks of red, "Mister Lone. I *have* told you we were making sandwiches, yes?"

"Yes, chef!" Lone shouted, his face full of confidence and pride.

Tycon grabbed a filet knife from a rack, "Then why didn"t you cut the tomatoes into thin slices, capable of being placed onto flat sandwiches?"

"W-wait, Boss! Don"t stab me!" Lone pleaded.

"This knife is better suited to slicing," Tycon picked up a whetstone and began to casually sharpen the blade.

"W-w-waaaaait! Hold on!! I-- I..." Lone reached over and grabbed a mixing bowl, "I melted the b.u.t.ter and whisked the cake batter like you asked!"

Tycon examined the bowl and felt his heart break. Instead of a smooth, creamy batter, the mixing bowl was full of rock-like chunks, "Mister Lone... Did you melt the b.u.t.ter?"

"Boss! I did! Just like you asked! I let it warm up on the double-boiler and then I mixed it in!"

Tycon took the bowl and cradled it like it was his injured child, "Did you melt... the b.u.t.ter... until it was completely liquefied?"

Lone opened his mouth, then his pupils dilated. It appeared that he understood the mistake he had made.

Tycon tightly gripped the handle of the filet knife. He had to be mindful of his technique when using it.

...

After Tycon deposited the Lone Shadowdark at a local infirmary, he wore his s.h.i.+ny Kingdom armor to meet with High-Captain Lang Hai at the port, boarding the Beaurte fleet"s flags.h.i.+p, the Elizabeth Dare.

"So this is my s.h.i.+p! Don"t touch anything! You probably don"t know any sea stuff, so don"t pretend to!!" Hai insisted.

The boy had replaced his torn Marine uniform with an older, saltier set. The young man, by his attire alone, looked the part of a veteran professional.

Tycon pointed, "That bundle of ropes look rotted through."

Hai stood in front of Tycon, blocking his view, "Ahaha! That"s SEA WOLF Rope! The roughest, toughest, meanest rope on the western continent-- nay, in all the realms!!"
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"I... see." Tycon forced a smile, "Where is your First Lieutenant? Perhaps I should talk to her, instead."

Hai growled, pointing angrily, "I"m the Captain, nerd! I know everything that goes on in my s.h.i.+p and everything my very professional crew knows! I"m the one you talk to about missions and quests!"

Tycon leaned to the side, looking over Hai"s Captain"s hat, "Did you give one of your men a quest to "professionally" fornicate with a fish."

Hai immediately turned and dashed over to the end of the s.h.i.+p at an impressive speed. He used both arms to pick up the man, hold him over his head, and toss him overboard.

The man"s trousers remained on the deck.

The blue-haired boy dashed back, "Ignore that. What were we talking about?"

Tycon smiled weakly. He took solace in the fact that he wasn"t the only guild leader of a company of fools. He decided to take a different approach in talking to the boy-Captain.

"Ahem." Tycon cleared his throat and spoke measuredly, "As High-Captain of your Sea Wolf fleet and of your very impressive s.h.i.+p, I"m certain you are quite busy, Lang Hai."

Hai crossed his arms and nodded, "Oh, yeah! Real busy! Always busy, Uh... What was your name again... Ehh. Baron?"

"Tycon. Just... Tycon."

Tycon tried to ignore the various crewmembers milling about aimlessly, pretending to work. One was pretending to count cannonb.a.l.l.s without note-taking gear. Another was scrubbing a barrel. The young girl, Rico, had drawn squares on the deck with chalk and was playing a children"s hopping game.

"Then perhaps someone less-busy should lead me around the s.h.i.+p? Like Eilean, perhaps." Tycon remained hopeful. Talking to the boy-Captain was... a ch.o.r.e.

"Oh, right! Yeah. That makes sense," Hai averted his gaze, nodding to himself. "I err... First Lieutenant Eilean is currently out purchasing supplies... Ahem. So I"ve taken time out of my busy schedule to show you around!"

Tycon nodded. The Sea Witch had ditched her Captain to do actual work... which begged the question of why Lang Hai remained on the s.h.i.+p.

...Perhaps it had to do with the boy"s penchant for destruction and the fact that the insurance policy Eilean had purchased likely wouldn"t cover additional damages.

"So that"s the p.o.o.p deck!" Hai declared with an illogical sense of pride, "What"s next? The bilge pumps? The metal box where we put Rico when she misbehaves? Ooh, I can show you the cannons! 5 of them work, for sure!"

A gentleman Marine with a s.h.i.+eld on his back hurried to Lang Hai"s side and mumbled something into the boy-Captain"s ear. Hai scowled, punched the man in the gut, and then threw him off of the s.h.i.+p.

"Psh. Who needs 5 working cannons, anyroad! s.h.i.+p to s.h.i.+p combat is too easy with those!" Hai laughed, "Ahahaa! The Elizabeth Dare needs no such handicap!"

Tycon glanced over the deck railing at the quickly-sinking Marine, "That man was wearing a s.h.i.+eld and heavy armor."

"Let me show you to the Captain"s quarters! We even have a map!!" Hai began to hustle down a set of rotting stairs, skipping a few choice steps.

Tycon grimaced and followed, taking care to not step on the stairs the young man avoided.