Once I"d decided, it was a simple matter of slipping away from the palace. I didn"t tell Glinda-or Dorothy-of my plans. The army would be my gift to Dorothy. I spent the journey back to the Winkies" kingdom imagining her reaction when I presented her with her new army. Her creamy cheeks flushing with color, her eyes sparkling, her ruby-red lips parting breathlessly with joy and awe. Finally, my actions would say what I hadn"t been able to tell her in words. And how could she possibly say no to me, when she was confronted with the force of my devotion? I knew she felt something for me, knew it all the way down to my tin joints. It was in the way she looked at me-in the way she"d let me hold her in her room. It was in everything she said to me. She loved me, I was sure of it-but she was too good, too selfless, to allow her feelings for me to get in the way of her duty to Oz. But once she and Glinda had restored the stolen magic, we"d be free to be together. Glinda would find a true successor, and Dorothy and I could go-why, we could go anywhere. I"d always wanted to visit Polychrome and see the Rainbow Falls. Maybe even a parasol sailing trip across the Sea of Blossoms. I"d heard they were the most romantic spots in all of Oz, but I"d never had anyone to share them with.
I was so lost in my reverie the journey pa.s.sed in a flash. I didn"t even stop to rest or refresh myself when I reached my palace. I strode into my throne room, bellowing for my chancellor, Norbert. He was the most dignified Winkie I could find among my subjects: over the Winkies" traditional costume of short pants and suspenders, he liked to add a suit jacket and pince-nez. Unfortunately, it was difficult for someone three feet tall and covered with yellow fur to really convey the impression of professionalism, and the decor of the throne room didn"t help. The Winkies" palace was comfortable enough, and I wasn"t much of a home decorator, so I"d never gotten around to making any changes other than having furniture large enough for a full-size man made for my own rooms. The Winkies were enthusiastic artists, if not very good ones, and the walls of the throne room were painted with a lurid series of murals depicting hallucinatory scenes of glowing yellow Winkies drifting through a variety of Ozian landscapes-Winkies floating over the poppy fields, Winkies climbing mountain ranges, Winkies sailing in tiny airships over the Sea of Blossoms, Winkies splashing in the Rainbow Falls. For the first time it occurred to me that they were hideously ugly. I"d let the Winkies make all the changes they wanted to the palace after the defeat of the Wicked Witch of the West, but maybe I should have been a little stricter with them.
When Dorothy had restored Oz"s magic and no longer had to live in the Emerald City as its ruler, I would ask her to come live with me. But to be honest, it was hard to picture her here. Perhaps I should remodel. But those plans could wait. I had more pressing matters to attend to.
"Tomorrow morning, my subjects must a.s.semble in the courtyard," I instructed the chancellor as he scribbled furiously on his ever-present notepad, pushing his pince-nez up on his nose as it slipped down toward his luxurious golden moustache. "I want everyone. From the smallest child to the oldest of the old. I have a tremendously important announcement." He nodded industriously, mouthing the words to himself as he wrote them down.
"Yes sir," he said cheerfully, "I"ll see to it, sir. Will you be wanting your usual oil bath, sir? We"ve some nice new artisa.n.a.l scented oils in from the country of the Quadlings. And Polychrome sent you a new travel brochure. It"s the darnedest thing, sir, a singing telegram, if you can believe that? So impressive what they can do with magic these days. Why, when I was a lad, we hadn"t any such-"
"I don"t think you understand," I said coldly. "This is not business as usual. The future of Oz is going to change tomorrow."
"Yes sir," he repeated absently, chewing the end of his feather quill. I stared at him in disbelief. Why wasn"t he taking me seriously? I knew the Winkies were silly creatures and always had been. I"d never tried to impose much discipline during my rule; there hadn"t been any point. But couldn"t he hear in my voice how important this was? I was offering my people a chance to make history and he was babbling on about travel promotions? I felt an unfamiliar emotion seize hold of me. My heart felt strange in my hollow chest, heavy and hot. I could almost sense it glowing inside me like an ember the color of Dorothy"s shoes. The Wizard"s gift had brought me love, but I realized it was also giving me a new feeling entirely: fury. Dorothy trusted me with her life, and I wasn"t going to let this stupid Winkie keep me from my duty. A red haze descended over my vision, obscuring the room around me, and my hands moved forward of their own volition, grabbing handfuls of mist. It pooled in my palms like water, pouring between my fingers to fall heavily to the ground, where it slid across the floor in an ever-spreading wave of red. I watched it move, fascinated. It moved almost like an animal, like something with an intelligence behind it.
A strange choking noise interrupted my reverie, and I looked down. To my astonishment, my hands were wrapped around Norbert"s throat, squeezing the life out of him as his eyes bulged desperately. In shock, I opened my fingers, and he collapsed to the floor wheezing for breath. As quickly as it had appeared, the red mist dissipated into long, slender tendrils that slithered into cracks in the stone walls and vanished. I couldn"t remember where I was or why my chancellor was staring up at me as though I was about to bite off his head. I looked around, blinking, only recognizing the familiar furniture of my throne room after a long moment. Why was I in my throne room? How had I even gotten here? My chest felt strange, as though my heart was moving around inside it. Something was happening to me-something I couldn"t explain.
"Everything will be as you wish in the morning, Your Majesty," my chancellor whispered, his voice shaking. What had I wished for in the morning? I thought about this for a while, and then remembered I had wanted to address my subjects. That was it. An army. I was building Dorothy"s army, as a gift to her. Relieved, I nodded, still not entirely sure why my chancellor was lying at my feet. Perhaps he"d slipped? I didn"t remember that either. I needed a good bath to clear my head.
"Excellent work," I said, and left him in a heap on the floor as I went to my rooms.
I summoned a few of the house Winkies with the bell I kept in my room for such purposes, and they obligingly drew me a bath of warm oil. Was it just my imagination, or did they keep looking at me? Why was everyone acting so strangely? The oil was perfumed, I noticed-hadn"t Norbert been saying something about a new shipment?-and a rich, pleasant scent filled my bathroom. Tin man that I am, I don"t have much need of the ordinary human fixtures. I don"t even really sleep anymore, though I do my best to follow the rhythms of a normal human day. But I do enjoy a good oil bath. I sank into the warm, sweet-smelling oil, dismissing the Winkies with a wave of my hand. They practically ran out of the room. Something was definitely up, but I had no idea what it could be.
As the oil cooled, I turned my thoughts to the next morning. I"d make a short speech to the Winkies, explaining the situation. They were too foolish to really understand the complexities of politics, but as long as I explained things simply they should be able to follow. I had no doubt they"d be as eager as I was to defend Dorothy. It was true, I supposed, that they wouldn"t make the most intimidating army. They were awfully short, and the suspenders sometimes made them look a little silly. But they were only the beginning, and I knew Dorothy would be delighted with my initiative. I"d march them to the Emerald City and a.s.semble them for her so she could see all the work I"d already done on her behalf, and then I would find more recruits. Everyone in Oz, I knew, would be happy to help out on behalf of their savior, the girl who killed the wicked witches. I wondered idly how the next ruler of Oz would be chosen, once Glinda and Dorothy had restored the stolen magic. It was too bad about Ozma. I"d always sort of liked her. But there was no telling what kinds of wicked secrets even good people were hiding.
SIX.
The next morning dawned clear and sunny. I polished my arms and legs and torso until the metal gleamed like mercury in the morning sun. I got my crown out of the Winkie-size wardrobe in one corner of my room and polished that, too, setting it on top of my head when it glowed as brightly as my tin skin. I finished my preparations just as Norbert knocked softly at my door, announcing that my subjects were a.s.sembled in the courtyard as I had requested. His suspenders, I noticed, were new, and his suit jacket had been ironed sometime since last night. Even his shoes were buffed. He wouldn"t meet my eyes, for some reason, and I almost asked him what had gotten into everybody.
The Winkies were gathered in a noisy, chattering group in the large courtyard in front of the palace"s main door, but they fell silent as soon as I came out of the palace, eyeing one another. Norbert bobbed obsequiously at my side, wiping his furry brow with a spotted handkerchief. I surveyed them, my heart sinking a little. They really were sort of-well, unimpressive. And there weren"t that many of them either. But Oz was not exactly a land noted for its martial power, and Winkies could be as courageous as anybody if they were given the chance. I noted with approval that they were standing carefully so as not to trample the lovingly cultivated flower beds. They might be silly and undisciplined, but that was at least a start. What mattered most was that Dorothy would see how much I cared, how much I was thinking about her.
"My most devoted subjects," I began, gazing out over their upturned faces. "It has been a great honor to be your ruler, and I am proud to have done such an excellent job overseeing your welfare. I have gathered you here today to alert you to a number of important changes that are taking place in Oz." Their faces were blank. Undaunted, I continued. "I am afraid I have some disheartening news about the Princess Ozma. Though we believed her to be a good and kind ruler, she has in fact betrayed us." At this, the Winkies exchanged startled glances. "I have learned that she has been stealing the magic of Oz for her own purposes. But all will soon be well, for something wondrous has happened." My cloth heart soared in my chest. There was something about saying it out loud that made it seem really true. "The beloved Dorothy Gale has returned to Oz to help us!"
A murmur of astonishment rippled through the little crowd. "Dorothy the Witchslayer?" piped up a young Winkie in the back, who was quickly hushed by his fellows. But I didn"t mind the interruption.
"The one and the same," I said proudly. "When Oz was in need before, she came to us, and now that Oz needs her again, she has returned to us." The Winkies didn"t need to know that I still hoped in my heart of hearts she"d come for me. "She came to convince Ozma to return the magic she had stolen to the land, but Ozma refused. In the ensuing battle, Ozma cast a terrible spell that erased her own memory. Dorothy, in her generosity and selflessness, has agreed to govern Oz temporarily until a new ruler can be found. In the meantime, she will need an army to protect her. That army, my dear subjects, shall be you."
The Winkies were staring at me openmouthed. I frowned slightly. I had expected them to be more excited. Maybe I just hadn"t made myself clear. "We will leave for the Emerald City tomorrow," I added. "Prepare yourselves. I do not know when we will return to this country. Our duty is to Dorothy, and we will serve her as long as she needs us."
The Winkie who"d spoken before was waving his hand furiously, and I nodded in his direction. He cleared his throat. "I"m sorry," he said, less politely than I thought was appropriate. "You said all of us? Are leaving for the Emerald City? Tomorrow?"
"That is correct," I said.
"But I don"t want to go to the Emerald City," he said. To my astonishment, several other Winkies nodded in agreement.
"But of course you want to go to the Emerald City," I replied. "This is Dorothy we"re talking about. Dorothy Gale, who killed the wicked witches, who"s given everything for Oz. It"s our responsibility to keep her safe after everything she"s done for us."
"Your responsibility, maybe," the Winkie said. "Why should it be ours?"
"Because I am your king," I said, but muttering had spread through the crowd, and now more Winkies were raising their hands to speak.
"I don"t know any Dorothy!" one of them shouted, and was shushed by her fellows, but more and more of them were grumbling. I raised my voice in an effort to speak over them.
"It is not a request!" I shouted. "It is an order! You will all be heroes! I demand it!"
"How do we even know this is true about Ozma?" snapped the original dissenter. "Ozma is a fairy! Maybe she just knows better than us what the magic of Oz should be used for!"
"Hear, hear!" someone else shouted. As more and more of them protested, my disbelief turned to anger. Here I was, offering them the opportunity of a lifetime, and they were worried about technicalities? I was their king! Even if they didn"t want to help Dorothy, as impossible as that was to believe, I was in charge, not some whining Winkie teenager.
"Silence!" I bellowed, but now they were ignoring me completely, and some of them were even heading for the palace gates as though to return home. How dare they? After everything I"d given up for them? Dorothy had killed the Wicked Witch of the West and freed the enslaved Winkies when she had first come to Oz. I"d been at her side, obviously, and in fact she wouldn"t have been able to defeat the witch without my help. Not at all. But her act of bravery had left the Winkies without a ruler, and so the Wizard had appointed me their king all those years ago. He didn"t ask me what I wanted. n.o.body ever did, as a matter of fact. Not even Dorothy, if I was being completely honest. But I was like Dorothy. I cared more about the good of Oz than my own personal needs.
I had a perfectly good heart, one the Wizard had given me, and while it naturally belonged to Dorothy, all the years after she"d left Oz I"d a.s.sumed I would never see her again. But instead of doing the things other people did-falling in love, having adventures, seeing the world-I"d stayed here, in this backwater little palace. I could have gone anywhere, done anything. I could have found-well, I"d never have found a replacement for Dorothy, but maybe I could have found someone I"d love almost as much. I could have had a life. Instead, I"d given up everything for the Winkies, for these ungrateful, foolish, nasty little trolls.
At my side, Norbert cleared his throat, adjusting his pince-nez. "Well, sir," he said quietly. "I suppose that will be all, then?"
"No," I said. "That will not be all." I could feel my outrage transforming into something bigger, and stronger, and meaner. A sudden breeze sprang up, bringing with it a tiny cyclone of pink strawberry-scented glitter, and for a moment I could almost see Glinda hovering above the Winkies" heads and smiling at me. "I will lend you the power to control them, brave Woodman," her voice whispered in my ear. "You will show them the glory and the might of Oz." The glitter swirled around me, whirling around my arms and my hands. The metal of my fingers began to glow red-hot, as though I"d left them in a fire, and started to melt and change shape. To my astonishment my fingers began to transform before my very eyes. They sprouted long, thin needles and short-bladed knives, all sharp and wicked-looking. As soon as the transformation was complete, the metal cooled again, gleaming dangerously in the morning sun.
For just a moment, my heart pulsed with doubt. "But these are weapons," I said out loud.
Glinda tsk-tsked in my ear. I turned around, expecting to see her, but there was no one there. "What we do, we do for the good of Oz, my n.o.ble friend," she whispered. "What will Dorothy do if you cannot protect her? Who will she turn to, if you are not at her side? I will choose another protector, if you are not man enough for the task."
Jealousy sparked up in me like a forest fire. There would be no question of Glinda"s choosing someone else! I would be at Dorothy"s side for always. I would show these filthy Winkies how powerful I was if they did not obey me out of duty.
"Stand where you are!" I snarled to the Winkies, who were by now pouring toward the palace gates. Something in my voice stopped them in their tracks. "Bring me the Winkies among you who have dared to defy me," I said, and even to my own ears my voice was terrible. Glinda"s cyclone of magic darted over the crowd, dusting them with some kind of enchantment. As if in a trance the Winkies seized the traitors and dragged them toward my podium. Only the first Winkie who"d spoken, the one who"d said he didn"t want to go to the Emerald City, was trying to resist, struggling furiously and even biting at the arms of his captors. I would deal with him first. I gestured for them to bring him before me.
"This is my kingdom," I said in a low voice that I knew was strong enough to carry to the far edges of the crowd. "I have allowed you to forget it. I will not make that mistake again." I wrapped my fingers around his neck and looked up at the a.s.sembled crowd. "Tomorrow, we march to the Emerald City," I said. "From now on, this is how I will deal with traitors." The knives that had replaced my fingers cut into his flesh, and blood poured down his yellow fur and pooled at his dangling feet. He gurgled frantically as my fingers cut and cut, all the way to the bone. Red light blazed around me, the red of Dorothy"s shoes, pouring in through my open mouth and filling my entire body with a blinding, all-powerful rage. With a single gesture, I tore his head from his body and hurled it into the crowd, striking one of them square in the chest with a grisly smack. The Winkies stared at me, and I saw in grim satisfaction that their eyes were filled with utter horror and fear. Some of the Winkies were crying, but most of them were in such terrified shock that they just trembled where they stood and gaped up at me.
"I knew you were the right choice," Glinda"s disembodied voice whispered next to me. "I knew you were brave enough, Woodman." I looked down at my hands. They were still the strange new hands Glinda had given me. Covered in blood, they looked even more menacing. More evil, I thought, and then shook my head. No. This wasn"t evil. This was necessary. What we do, we do for the good of Oz. She had been right. This was a new time. I couldn"t back down. Dorothy needed me.
Almost without thinking, I moved toward the next traitor in line with my hands outstretched when Norbert gave a little cry. "What is it?" I snarled.
"Sir," Norbert said desperately, "what are you doing? Why are you harming us? We"ll obey you, sir, we understand how important Dorothy"s army is now. Please don"t hurt anyone else." I blinked and suddenly the red mist that had filled me poured out of my eyes and mouth, rising up into the clear blue sky and taking with it the intense rage that had possessed me. Glinda"s voice was gone. I looked around. There was blood everywhere. The headless body of a Winkie lay on the ground, and a line of Winkies crouched before me, shaking in terror.
"Did I-did I do that?" I asked Norbert, confused.
He looked at me in astonishment. "Yes sir," he said quietly.
"Why?"
"I don"t know, sir. You said-you said you needed an army."
The army! Of course. Dorothy"s army. I wasn"t entirely certain what had just happened, but if it meant I had an army to bring to my princess, it was surely for the best. I"d bring her an army, and then tell her how I truly felt at last. How could she say no, when she saw the evidence of my devotion?
"We march for the Emerald City at dawn," I told the blood-spattered ma.s.ses trembling at my feet. "Shirkers and deserters will be executed." I turned my back on them and walked into the palace.
SEVEN.
The Winkies who gathered again in the courtyard the next morning were a far cry from the nattering, cheerful crowd who had a.s.sembled the day before. Some of them, I was certain, hadn"t moved from their spots since I had executed the traitor in front of them the preceding morning. They were silent, their heads bowed, their pathetic possessions gathered on their backs or hastily stuffed into small carts they towed behind them. A flash of doubt ran through me. They didn"t look like an army, they looked like a few dozen refugees. None of them had weapons, let alone armor. None of them had ever fought a battle in their lives. But I shook my head, dismissing the thought. We would all rise to the occasion. Even the humblest among us. Dorothy needed them almost as much as she needed me if she was to be safe in the Emerald City. I would turn them into an army if it was the last thing I did.
It took my ramshackle army a long time to find the Road of Yellow Brick, and when we did finally find it the bricks looked old and crumbly and were stained with a faint red hue-not the color of Dorothy"s shoes, but the color of blood. I remembered my vision in the palace the morning Dorothy had met with us and told us that Ozma had betrayed the country. I remembered the way Glinda had looked at me. Had she known what I would have to do? Had she been trying to warn me? I frowned, unwilling to allow any more uncomfortable thoughts. I wasn"t proud of what I"d done, but it had been necessary. There"d be no reason to have to do anything like it again. I avoided looking at my inexplicably transformed hands. Maybe Dorothy could help me change them back to the way they"d been before. After all, she was the one with magic.
The Road of Yellow Brick led us miles out of the way, almost as if it were trying to keep us away from the Emerald City. We walked for a long time through the Forest of Fear, the trees shrieking terrifying things at the Winkies, who flinched and wept and then, looking back at me fearfully, trudged onward. Some of them stuffed up their ears with cloth. Others held hands. I let their cowardice slide. There would be plenty of time for discipline once we reached the city. I wasn"t a monster.
Finally, after hours of doubling back and leading us astray, the road seemed to realize it couldn"t stop me from reaching the palace and straightened itself out. The bricks grew solid and polished again, and the hedges lining the road were neatly trimmed and bursting with flowers that periodically caroled us in trilling, high-pitched voices as we pa.s.sed. The Winkies were still subdued, but their mood seemed to improve a little, and some of them perked up enough to look around them as we walked. A few of them dug cheese-and-marmalade sandwiches out of their bags-the Winkies were fanatical about cheese-and-marmalade sandwiches for some reason, and I had never known one of my subjects to travel anywhere without a ready supply-and munched as we marched. At last, I could see the green spires of the Emerald City on the horizon.
By now, several of the Winkies were stumbling with exhaustion. I did not allow them to rest. They"d have to learn to toughen up. The sun was on the horizon as we marched at last through the Emerald City"s broad gates. One of the Winkies collapsed, only to be hastily pulled to his feet by the others and propped upright. I selected a small delegation of the most alert-looking Winkies and called for Munchkin servants.
"Give them chambers in the palace," I said curtly. "And see that they"re fed. I"ll be back for the rest of them later." The Winkies I had chosen to accompany me, among them the chancellor, watched longingly as the others were led away to rest.
"You"ve served me well today," I told them. "You will be rewarded in the princess"s army, never fear." They did not seem very interested in the prospect of their reward but they did not protest as I led them into the palace and sent another servant to tell Dorothy to meet me in the Council Chamber.
She kept us waiting for a long time. One of the Winkies had pillowed his arms on the table and fallen asleep by the time she swept into the room, her auburn hair done in an intricate updo and her dress a slightly different version of the shimmery gingham she"d worn to tell us of her plans. I leapt to my feet when she entered the room, bowing deeply and surrept.i.tiously kicking the chair of the Winkie who"d fallen asleep. He leapt to his feet, too, with a yelp of fear and stood looking around him, blinking frantically.
"My dear Woodman," Dorothy said. Was that a hint of irritation in her voice? "Why on earth have you disturbed me? You know how busy I am now."
"I have important news," I said, my heart flooding with joy just to look upon her beautiful face. I reached forward to take her hand, but then remembered my new fingers. I did not wish to hurt her.
She ignored the gesture and looked at me with impatience. Suddenly I was overcome with doubt. Why wasn"t she happier to see me? "Well? What is it?"
"Princess Dorothy," I said, going down on one knee before her. "You know your safety is my utmost concern, and your new position puts you at terrible risk."
"Well, yes, that"s true," she agreed, fluffing her reddish-brown curls. "Glinda says I must pay careful attention. I think it"s sort of exciting, don"t you? n.o.body in Kansas was smart enough to understand how special I am. But here-well, look how far I"ve come!"
"I will remain at your side always, your knight and your protector," I said. My heart pulsed again with that eerie power. "But a bodyguard is not enough, not even one as devoted as I. My beloved princess, I have brought you an army the likes of which Oz has never seen."
Dorothy"s eyes widened and she gasped in delight. "An army? Oh, Tin! You"re incredible! I"ve never even dreamed of having an army before! Is it very splendid? Do they have horses and banners? Where are they? I want to see them right now!"
I rose to my feet and took her arm, indicating the Winkies with a sweeping gesture. "These are your generals. Your army awaits you in the palace."
Dorothy stared at the trembling Winkies with confusion, her eyebrows knitting together. "But, Tin-I don"t understand. These are Winkies."
"As are all your soldiers," I explained. "For now," I added hastily. "Of course, I"ll soon have more recruits. Perhaps the Lion knows a few beasts who would be willing to serve. I"ll oversee their training. Soon you"ll have a fearsome force to defend you."
A flurry of emotions crossed Dorothy"s face. She was overcome, I realized. Overcome by what I"d done for her. By the lengths I"d gone to. She was so overwhelmed she didn"t even know what to say. I was so happy to see her delight that it took me a moment to understand that she was laughing not from joy, but from exasperation.
"Tin," she said. "This is really sweet of you, but they"re Winkies. That"s like having an army of stuffed animals. I really wish you hadn"t bothered me with this-Glinda and I were having the nicest time going through nail polishes."
"But, Dorothy," I said in consternation. "You must understand, Oz has never had soldiers-"
"Tin, just get rid of them," she interrupted. "They"re a bunch of furry midgets terrified of their own shadows. Look at them." The Winkies, it was true, were staring at us in alarm, and the chancellor might have actually been crying. I was about to answer when the Scarecrow came into the room, drawn by Dorothy"s raised voice.
"Well, well, well," he remarked, taking in the scene. "What exactly do we have here?"
"The Woodman has lost his mind." Dorothy giggled. "He"s brought me these creatures and says they"re going to be an army."
"An army?" the Scarecrow said, and looked at me thoughtfully. "But that"s not a bad idea at all, Doro-er, Your Eminence."
Your Eminence? I thought, reeling. Since when was Dorothy Her Eminence, other than in my heart? And why couldn"t she see the n.o.bility of my gift? None of this was going as I had planned, none of it at all. I looked around the room desperately, as though the answer was under one of the Winkies.
"I don"t want an army of vermin," Dorothy snapped, and the Scarecrow raised one painted eyebrow. "Wasn"t it enough to have to toil in servitude with these dreadful creatures under the Wicked Witch of the West the first time I came to Oz? There"s a reason I didn"t go back after I killed that old cow."
And then my error hit me. Of course. How could I have been so stupid? The Winkies could only remind Dorothy of that terrible time in the Wicked Witch of the West"s palace, before Dorothy had heroically killed her and liberated the Winkies like the n.o.ble woman she was. Her anger hid another, deeper emotion-her pain. And now, like a fool, I was reminding her of it. No wonder she was so upset.
"Well," the Scarecrow observed, "they"re here now. Might as well do something with them." I wanted to throw him from the room. He didn"t understand anything, and he certainly didn"t understand Dorothy. Not the way I did.
"I don"t want them within a mile of my palace," Dorothy snapped. "They probably have lice."
"The Winkies are a very clean people," I said hastily. "Dorothy, I lived among them for years. I ruled over them, don"t forget."
"Tin, just make them go away." She stared at me, narrowing her beautiful crystal-blue eyes. "If you really do care about me," she said coolly, "you"ll do as I ask without questions, Tin." With that, she swept out of the room, leaving me staring after her in despair.
"What have I done?" I moaned. "She"ll never forgive me. How could I be such an idiot?"
"What do you mean?" the Scarecrow asked.
"Instead of bringing her an army, I brought her a reminder of a terrible time in her life. How can I possibly earn her trust again?" I sank into a chair next to the chancellor, who made a small, terrified noise, and put my head in my hands, nearly sticking myself in the eye with my sinister new fingers.
"Tin," the Scarecrow said slowly, "are you actually in love with Dorothy?"
"Of course I"m in love with Dorothy!" I shouted, so forcefully I startled us both. "Who wouldn"t be in love with Dorothy? She"s beautiful, and kind, and generous, and we"ve been through so much together. I thought she felt the same way. I was going to tell her when I brought her the army. But now I"ve ruined everything."
The Scarecrow was silent for a moment. I could practically hear the stuffing in his head rustling, but I didn"t want to know what he was thinking since it was probably along the lines of what a complete failure I"d made of myself. "What will you do with them?" he asked casually.
"Oh, I don"t know," I mumbled unhappily into my palms. "Send them home, I suppose. There are dozens of them here." At the word "home" the chancellor perked up visibly, although all of them still looked at me as though I was going to tear off their heads, too. I felt badly about what I"d done, I really did, but if they"d just obeyed me-their king!-from the beginning none of that business would have happened.
"Seems a shame to just waste them," the Scarecrow said. "Now that they"re here and all."
"I can"t put them to work in the palace," I replied. "You heard Dorothy. She doesn"t want to see them again."
"There are . . . other options," the Scarecrow said, and I looked at him. His flat black eyes were expressionless, but something in his voice sent a shiver down my tin spine. If you want to know the truth, I"d always thought the Scarecrow was a little creepy. Even on that first trip to Oz, pretending to be such an idiot, dithering around-no, he"d been planning something all along, you mark my words. The Lion, for all his uncouthness, is relatively honest. What you see is what you get, even if what you get is tacky, boorish, and bad for your nice furniture. And me-well, as you know, I"m just a man in love. But the Scarecrow isn"t like either one of us. He"s crafty, and he only got craftier once the Wizard filled up his head with sawdust brains. I didn"t like the look on his face, but I wasn"t about to let him know that he"d unnerved me.
"What do you mean, other options"?"
He thought for a moment, as if considering how to present a complicated subject to a simple person. "Glinda and I have been . . . discussing a few things," he said eventually. "You know, she"s really a magnificent woman. Very sharp. Very sharp indeed. She has some other very impressive a.s.sets, too, if you know what I mean," he added with a wink.