How do I get through this night without... without what, Jones? She laughed at herself as she spread the shampoo through her hair and began to lather up. Ravishing her? Confessing undying love? The unspoken dialogue in her mind began a back and forth debate that she"d had many times with herself since Naomi had revealed just how little their relationship meant to her.
I don"t want to think about Naomi, she thought morosely as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. It"s over with G.o.dd.a.m.ned Naomi. She sighed. One step at a time, Jones. Let"s just get through this night.
When Cadie emerged from Jo"s bedroom 10 minutes later she found the tall woman sitting on the couch, trying to wrap a bandage one-handed around her upper right arm.
"Hang on, let me do that," she said, sitting down next to Jo.
"Thanks. I was going cross-eyed." Jo pulled up the sleeve of the long, pale blue silk robe she was wearing, revealing the bullet graze on her arm. Now that it had been cleaned of dirt and crusted blood it was weeping again.
Cadie winced. "Are you sure this doesn"t need st.i.tches?" she asked uncertainly.
"Positive," Jo replied. Cadie looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Honestly," Jo rea.s.sured her. She pulled over the first-aid kit she"d brought out from the bathroom. "Here ya go. Just put a cotton pad over it and wrap it with the bandage."
"It"s going to leave a scar, Jo," Cadie said quietly as she tore open the packet holding the sterile cotton pad.
"That"s okay," she shrugged. "It"ll be a reminder. Besides, I"m not planning on entering any beauty contests any time soon." She grinned.
Cadie smiled back. "You could you know," she said matter-of-factly, putting Jo"s hand over the cotton pad while she re-rolled the bandage the skipper had been trying to apply herself.
"Aw quit it, will ya? You"re making me blush."
Cadie looked up and noticed it was true. Well, that"s a first. She smiled as she began winding (he bandage around Jo"s arm.
She secured it with the two clips provided and patted it gently when she was done. "How does that feel? Not too tight?"
"Nope, it"s good. Thanks," Jo said, letting the sleeve of the robe drop.
"No problem." Cadie tugged lightly at the sleeve. "I like this. The color brings out your eyes." She smiled mischievously up at Jo.
"I came out of the shower and realized I didn"t have any fresh clothes in there. So rather than scandalize you, I threw this on." She grinned. "I"ll go change in a minute."
"No need on my account," Cadie replied. "If you"re comfortable, stay as you are."
Jo nodded, letting her eyes sweep up and down the blonde"s outfit, which consisted of one of her white t-shirts, about two sizes too big on the American, and a pair of soft cotton drawstring shorts. "I see you found something you could live with," she said, smiling.
"Mhmm. Thanks."
There was a long pause as they contemplated each other openly, eyes drifting and then meeting again, small smiles exchanged.
Finally, Jo cleared her throat. "Urn, did you say something about being hungry enough to eat a horse?" she asked.
"G.o.d, yes," Cadie replied. "It feels like about three days since we had those sandwiches on the pontoon out at Heart Reef."
Jo nodded in agreement, then rubbed her face wearily. "It"s been such a weird day," she said.
And suddenly Cadie could see that lost, uncertain look shading across the dark-haired woman"s face again. "Come on," she said, patting Jo"s thigh as she stood up. "Let"s rustle up some food, and we can talk it out over dinner." She held out a hand and when Jo took it, pulled her up.
"Sounds like a plan," said the skipper, a smile returning to her eyes. "There"s just one more thing we need to do before we can relax."
Cadie nodded. "Call the Seawolf, yes." She took a deep breath. "Can"t say I"m looking forward to that. Are we going to stick with the burglary story?"
Jo looked down at her as they moved into the kitchen. "Do you think Naomi will go for that?" she asked, opening the fridge and pulling out the makings of a salad.
"At this point, I don"t think it makes much difference what our reason is. She"s just gonna hate that I"m here regardless of why."
Jo placed a lettuce, cuc.u.mber, tomatoes, avocadoes and bean sprouts on the counter, along with a gla.s.s salad bowl and a bottle of homemade salad dressing she was glad to see Josh hadn"t raided too badly.
"Well," she said, "if she"s going to be p.i.s.sed off no matter what we tell her we might as well get it over with. Then at least she"ll have until tomorrow morning to calm down about it."
Cadie snorted. "You don"t know her very well. She"ll just use that time to work up a head of steam about it, if she hasn"t already."
She looked so glum about the prospect that Jo felt a pang of remorse. "I"m sorry I involved you in it all, Cadie," she said quietly, beginning to slice the tomatoes on the wooden chopping board. "I should have just had Bill drop you at the boat before we came here."
Cadie shook her head emphatically. "And then how would you have gotten yourself down to the ground, or found Detective Harding?" she replied. "You needed me." She grinned up into azure blue eyes that sparkled back at her. "And there really wasn"t time, Jo-Jo. Think about how fast that storm came in. We only barely got back to Shute Harbor as it was."
Jo tossed the tomato quarters into the salad bowl and reached for the cuc.u.mber.
"That"s true, I guess," she answered. "Tell you what. You finish this salad. There are some eggs in the fridge if you want to hard-boil a couple to add in later. And I will call the Seawolf. I"ll tell her you"re asleep, okay?"
Cadie was tempted. The thought of not having to talk to Naomi tonight was definitely a pleasant one, but she knew the senator wasn"t going to take no for an answer. "Call them, Jo. But I will talk to her. It"ll only make it worse if I don"t." She took the knife from Jo and moved around the counter. "But thanks for offering."
Jo picked up the cell phone and tentatively rested her back against the counter, wincing slightly as the hard surface caught the edge of one of her many bruises. She felt Cadie shift and lean slightly against her as Jo pulled up Paul"s number on the speed dial. She looked down at the blonde while she waited for her crewman to answer. Cadie looked subdued as she finished slicing the cuc.u.mber and Jo took a moment to slide her left hand around the smaller woman"s waist. A little smile crept to the corners of Cadie"s mouth at the movement and Jo felt her lean more in response.
She"s a bit scared of the senator, Jo thought grimly. For about the millionth time since she"d met the odd couple, she wondered how on earth they had gotten together. I guess tonight is the time to ask, she thought, realizing they had an interesting evening ahead of them.
Finally, Paul answered the phone. "Jesus, Skipper, where the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l are you?" he shouted good-naturedly. "We"d just about decided you been washed off the pontoon. Is Cadie with you? The senator"s going nuts here."
She chuckled. "One question at a time, mate, okay?" she answered. "Yes, Cadie"s with me and we"re at my place. I got a call from Josh while we were out at Heart, telling me he"d disturbed a couple of burglars. I needed to get here quickly and that storm was coming in fast, so Bill just brought us straight here. By the time I got done with the cops and all that c.r.a.p it was too late to try and make it back tonight."
"b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l. Is Josh okay?"
"Yeah. A couple of cuts and sc.r.a.pes but nothing too serious. Scared silly, I think, but he"ll be fine. I"ve got to do a bit more paperwork with the cops in the morning, but we should be back by lunchtime for sure. How did you guys do with the storm?"
Cadie moved around the kitchen, finding a pan for the eggs and filling it with water, before exploring the stovetop and putting the eggs on to boil.
How does she make that outfit look so s.e.xy? Jo thought as she listened to Paul"s response.
"Yeah not too bad, Skip. We moved round the south point into the bay and we were pretty sheltered. Things got a bit choppy though. Couple of cases of seasickness on board, but things have settled now." Jo could almost hear his grin.
"That"s good," she replied. "Any damage?"
"Nothing too noticeable," he said. "We got everything pretty well tied down before the wind got too strong. I figured we"d stay here till you get back."
"Mhmm, sounds like a good idea. Let those landlubber stomachs settle a bit more." She grinned at Cadie who had looked up quizzically.
"Skipper, the senator"s pretty keen to talk to Cadie," Paul said quietly.
Jo pointed at her and mouthed "Naomi." The blonde rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yeah she"s here, mate. Put her on." Jo handed Cadie the phone and watched as she rested back on the counter next to her, leaning against Jo"s shoulder. Almost immediately she could hear the senator"s argumentative tones blaring through the cell phone"s little speaker at Cadie. Jo grimaced.
"Naomi-" Cadie tried to find a break in her partner"s onslaught, with little luck. "Naomi-" She held the phone away from her ear when it became obvious there was no stopping the senator until she"d said her piece. Finally there was silence. "Are you done?" Cadie asked quietly. "First of all, as much as I"d like to "get my a.s.s back there" as you so charmingly put it, it"s not possible tonight." She pulled away again at another barrage from Naomi. "No, there"s no way out there tonight."
She listened again as the senator let rip once more, and Jo found her arm curling around the smaller woman"s shoulders in a protective gesture she just couldn"t help.
"d.a.m.n it, Naomi, would you just listen for five seconds? There wasn"t time to take me back to the boat before the storm. Or perhaps you would rather have had us risk flying twice as far in that weather, just to keep you happy? Not to mention that it was important for Jo to get back here as quickly as possible."
Another barrage.
Cadie closed her eyes and dropped the phone away from her face for a couple of seconds before she made another attempt at reasoning with her partner. She nestled in closer to Jo and felt the taller woman squeeze her protectively. It"s almost worth this bulls.h.i.t just to feel her arm around me, Cadie thought wistfully as she waited for Naomi to take a breath.
"Naomi, Jo did the safest thing for all of us. She thought we"d be able to get back tonight and it wasn"t her fault that we"re stuck here. You"re just going to have to live with it. No... no, I"m not going to let you rant at her. No."
Jo guessed the senator was giving her a fair bucketing judging by the frustrated look on Cadie"s face. Time to stop this in its tracks, she thought, gently taking the phone from the American.
"Senator, it"s Jo. I will get Cadie back to the Seawolf as quickly as I can. But that"s going to be tomorrow morning at the earliest. There just isn"t any faster way of doing it," she said quickly before Naomi could object. "What"s that? Sorry, you"re breaking up. Nope, can"t make you out at all. Hanging up now. Bye." She closed the connection, feeling Cadie shake with silent laughter against her side.
"Oh, you"re baaad," the blonde said with a giggle, slapping Jo gently on the stomach before she moved away to rescue the eggs.
"Sorry, but there"s only so much bulls.h.i.t a girl can take," Jo grumbled, carefully switching the phone off and putting it back on the counter. "I gather I"m public enemy No. 1?"
"Oh yeah," Cadie said, draining off the hot water and pouring cold over the top of the hard-boiled eggs. "Plenty of ranting about what she"d do to either one of us if we laid a hand on each other. Blah, blah, blah." She went quiet as she started to peel the eggs as Jo rummaged around in the pantry. "I"m sorry, Jo. She shouldn"t take it out on you."
Jo chuckled. "Well, I"d rather it was me than you, to be honest," she replied, pulling out pasta and olive oil. "How would you like to try my world famous veggie pasta?"
Cadie grinned. "Sounds great. That salad dressing is killer," she said, throwing the diced-up egg into the mix and pouring the dressing over the top of the lot, sucking a dribble off her fingertip. "Naomi"s always been a very possessive person. It"s one of her least attractive qualities. It"s always been paranoia in the past, though."
Jo looked over at Cadie. "And this time?" she asked quietly.
Sea-green eyes met hers and held steady. "And this time she"s right on the money," Cadie replied softly, letting more than a little of what she was feeling show on her face.
Wow. We do have a lot to talk about.
Before they"d settled in to eat Cadie had explored Jo"s CD collection and been delighted to find they shared a similar taste in music. She had selected a disc while Jo had moved around the living room lighting a series of candles and oil burners before they"d settled in to eat. The conversation through dinner had been light-hearted and flirtatious, and despite the events of the day, they had found plenty to laugh about.
An hour and a half later the two women were relaxed, full of good food, and sprawled next to each other on the couch. Jo had pulled a coffee table over and they had their feet up on its gla.s.s surface, their plates piled up next to the half-empty bottle of red wine. Both women were nursing their gla.s.ses. They were quiet, just enjoying the peace of the cool sea breeze coming through the open French windows and the waxing moon spilling silver across the verandah onto the polished wooden floor in front of them.
"I can"t believe you"re into Eva Ca.s.sidy," Cadie said quietly, leaning back and closing her eyes as the silky tones of the young folk singer filled the room. She slowly twirled the winegla.s.s resting against her belly.
"Hey, this may be a cultural backwater, but there are some of us who like to occasionally expand our horizons." Jo smiled as she leaned towards Cadie conspiratorially. "Don"t tell anyone but I even have some Cris Williamson and Tret Fure somewhere." She let the smile broaden, and Cadie found herself just inches away from one of her companion"s trademark stellar grins.
Of their own accord, her fingers wandered up to trace Jo"s lips, the mutual shock of the contact keeping them both very still. "Jo?" she whispered.
"Mmm?" came the quiet response.
"I think if you don"t kiss me very shortly, I"m going to explode." Cadie couldn"t take her eyes off Jo"s mouth and she caught the slight upturning at the corners as the taller woman smiled against her fingertips. She let her eyes wander up to the brilliant blue gazing down at her. "And I was wondering what you thought about that."
Jo said nothing. Instead she sat up and carefully took Cadie"s winegla.s.s out of her hand, placing it on the coffee table along with her own before she turned back to face the blonde. As Jo leaned towards her, a s.e.xy half-smile on her face, Cadie slid her arms around the tall woman"s waist, reveling in the feel of the cool silk of the robe and the warm body beneath it. She pulled gently and Jo came closer until they could feel each other"s breath on their lips.
"Arcadia?" Jo breathed.
"Mmm?"
"I think it"s a very... very... good idea."
Their mouths came together in a tender explosion of sensation that took Cadie"s breath away. Softness mingled with a rush of tugging, aching pa.s.sion as their mouths melted into each other. Jo slipped her arms around Cadie, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened and intensified. She felt Cadie open to her and marveled at it, following the blonde"s lead into a slow, delicious exploration of tongues and lips. Small incoherent, pa.s.sionate sounds mingled with the music that played softly in the background, and it was with a shock that Jo realized she was making at least half of them. Gently she cradled Cadie in her arms as they kissed. Then, as the sensations built up, she shifted position slightly and slowly lowered them down on to the couch, never breaking contact.
Cadie"s mind had come to a complete standstill, overwhelmed by the surging ache that built, then receded, and climbed again as she and Jo moved sensually against each other. She felt Jo take her down till she was flat on the couch, and she surrendered to the sensation, tugging the taller woman down with her, loving the feel of Jo"s weight above her. She slid her hands down to the small of Jo"s back, pulling her even closer, eliciting a groan from the dark woman that gave Cadie chills as she deepened the kiss once again.
Every gaze, every spark of the past nine days coalesced in the long embrace. Hands moved slowly, tugging at clothing, teasing. Legs tangled together.
Cadie"s hands moved slowly up Jo"s sides and across her shoulders until she cupped the taller woman"s face, her fingers tangled slightly in her long, dark hair. Jo broke the kiss and pulled back as they both gazed deep into each other"s eyes, breathlessly. Cadie looked- up into startling blue orbs, their color deepened by desire.
"Oh, Jo," she whispered, brushing fingertips across the dark, full lips inches from her own. "This feels so... familiar." She smiled at the slightly raised eyebrow that elicited.
"Familiar, as in boring and unexciting?" Jo asked softly, leaning down to nuzzle the blonde"s neck, working slowly towards the soft spot just below Cadie"s ear, the tip of her tongue drawing a long, low groan from the American. Jo chuckled softly, a deep rumble close to her ear that made Cadie shiver. "I guess that answers that question," the skipper whispered.
Cadie nodded, smiling as she tried to find the words to explain what she meant. "I am so not bored and unexcited, trust me," she whispered and felt Jo laugh again. "I guess I meant that this feels like..." She hesitated and Jo pulled back again to gaze down into the blonde"s gorgeous green eyes. "It feels like we have done this before. Like our bodies know just how to..." Her eyes drifted back to Jo"s mouth again and Jo closed the distance till they were almost kissing once more. "Respond...to each other..."
Jo"s answering "mhmm" mingled into another deep, melting kiss and they both forgot all thought for a few more minutes as the sensuality washed over them. This time was less urgent, but no less pleasurable. When Jo"s hand gently cupped Cadie"s breast through the soft fabric of the t-shirt, it sparked the blonde into an arching stretch that gave the tall skipper goose b.u.mps. The intensity of it took them both by surprise and once again they found themselves blinking at each other breathlessly.
"Wow," Jo said quietly, shivering.
"Oh yeah," Cadie agreed. Impulsively she pulled Jo close again, wrapping her arms around her and hugging tight, burying her face against the tall woman"s shoulder and neck. She suddenly felt tears close, overwhelmed by what she was feeling and what the consequences might be for them both. For all three of us, she reminded herself. Jo sensed the tears and held her close, making soft, comforting noises until they subsided, content to let Cadie tell her what was happening in her head when she was ready.
Finally the blonde loosened her hold somewhat and Jo let her lie back on the couch, reaching out and gently wiping away a tear with her fingertip.
"Sorry," sniffled Cadie. "I don"t usually do that as a response to being..." She laughed weakly. "So... incredibly... turned on." Jo smiled broadly. "Although, when I think about it, I"m not sure that"s true," Cadie corrected.
"What do you mean?" Jo asked, puzzled.
"I mean, Jossandra Madison, that I don"t think I have ever in my life felt like this. So I don"t really know if this is how I"d usually react." She smiled softly at the confused look on Jo"s face.
"It doesn"t feel like this with..." Jo jerked her thumb over her shoulder, roughly in the direction of the Seawolf, lying at anchor off Whitsunday Island.
Cadie shook her head and had to laugh at the slight widening of Jo"s eyes. "Never. Not ever." She reached up and cupped Jo"s face with her left hand. "You and I, my love, are in a lot of trouble." She tried to make light of it, but Jo caught the flash of fear and uncertainty that crossed her face.
"You"re scared?" Jo asked softly, afraid of the answer. Cadie nodded distractedly and Jo pulled away. "Of me," she said with certainty and a sinking heart. She sat up quickly, swinging her feet down to the floor and resting her head in her hands dejectedly. "I can understand that. I mean, you saw me at my worst today. I"m a killer and it doesn"t matter how many years go by, that"s what I"ll always be."
d.a.m.n, Cadie thought as she felt doors slamming closed. Gotta be more careful. She"s so quick to condemn herself.
Quickly she sat up and slid in behind the tall woman, wrapping her arms around Jo"s waist to hold her firmly between Cadie"s legs. "No," she said definitely, gently shaking Jo for emphasis. "Understand this, Jo." She waited for the skipper to turn her head slightly towards her. "I have never felt safer than when I"m with you. And that included this afternoon when you had Marco where I know you wanted him." She smiled gently, seeing the slight upturn of Jo"s mouth. "It"s not you I"m afraid of, Jossandra. And no matter what you"ve done, or will do in the future, it"s not possible for me to be afraid of you."
She leaned back into the couch, pulling Jo with her until they were sprawled together, Jo"s feet back up on the coffee table and her head tucked under the blonde"s chin, against her right shoulder. Their hands were clasped together across Jo"s belly.
This probably doesn"t look it, but it"s so comfortable, Cadie thought, contentedly, certain she"d soothed Jo"s fears, at least for the time being. I want her to feel as safe with me as I do with her.
Jo relaxed, loving the warm rush as Cadie enfolded her. "So what is it that you"re afraid of?" she asked softly.
There was a pause as Cadie reached for the right words. "Change," she finally answered. "To borrow a line from an old movie, you and I changed our direction tonight, and it"s going to have a ripple effect."