"Oh, I can relate to that," Cadie said. "I was at my junior prom in Madison, and I was dancing with a boy called Jimmy Hofsteder. He was shorter than me..."
"Hard to believe," Jo teased and ducked as Cadie flicked a wet slice of mango in her direction. "Hey, no fruit in the bed sheets."
"Brat." The blonde smiled. "Anyway, Jimmy was shorter than me, covered in zits and hair oil, and I found myself looking over his shoulder at Sally Doogan all night. That"s when a clue ran in and bit me on the f.a.n.n.y."
Jo spluttered, almost choking on the mango slice. "f.a.n.n.y?" she managed at last, coughing as she tried to catch her breath.
Cadie was perplexed. "Yeah. f.a.n.n.y. As in, bit me on the b.u.t.t," she said, wondering why her companion looked like she"d swallowed a whole chili pepper. She was even more confused seconds later when Jo started giggling hysterically.
"Whaaat?" she asked, poking the skipper in belly.
Jo recovered her composure enough to speak coherent English. "So," she said, wiping the tears away, "f.a.n.n.y means b.u.t.t in America, huh?"
"Well, yeah," Cadie replied, a light beginning to dawn in her brain. "Why, what does it mean here?"
"Not that, that"s for d.a.m.n sure," Jo said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Tell meee," the blonde pleaded. "Or I"m going to be forced to tickle you."
Jo snorted. "You"d have to catch me first," she replied, eyes widening as Cadie threatened to leap over the fruit platter and make good on her promise. "Okay, okay." Jo laughed. She beckoned with a finger and Cadie leaned across so Jo could whisper in her ear.
"You"re kidding?" she asked when she pulled back. Jo shook her head, her smile wide. Cadie soon had a matching grin. "Well, what the h.e.l.l do you call a f.a.n.n.y pack, then?" she asked, delighted when Jo dissolved into gales of laughter.
"A... a... b.u.m bag," Jo gasped between convulsions.
That prompted a mini-explosion from the blonde and they both spent the next couple of minutes giggling helplessly.
"So," Jo asked as they recovered, side-by-side, leaning back against the headboard, "was she cute?"
"Who?"
"Sally Doogan."
Cadie laughed. "Not particularly, but she smelled way better than Jimmy Hofsteder, that"s for darn sure."
Jo chuckled and leaned in to kiss the blonde again. "I, for one, am glad you figured it out," she said softly when they pulled back from each other. "Anyway, to cut a long story very short, I muddled my way through p.u.b.erty, bored out of my mind. Sydney was like this great emerald city by the sea, you know?" Cadie nodded. "All roads seemed to lead there, most of my friends were trying to get there one way or another. It was like the pot of gold at the end of a very dry and dusty rainbow. We all had this romantic idea that if we could just get to Sydney then our lives would suddenly become glamorous and exciting."
She glanced at Cadie who was engrossed in the story. "But I was the only child of a third-generation farming family," Jo continued. "Mum and Dad wanted me to stay close to learn the business and for a while there I just didn"t know how to tell them it wasn"t for me."
"Something must have happened to change that," Cadie said softly. "What was it?"
Jo took another deep breath. "My best mate killed himself," she said simply, hearing the American"s sharp intake of breath. "Phil...we were both 17 and he"d figured out he was gay too, so that kind of pulled us together, y"know?" Cadie nodded mutely. "He lived about 75 miles south of us so we didn"t see each other too often, but we talked pretty much every day on the radio. Did our homework together, that sort of thing." She accepted another strawberry from the blonde and chewed on it thoughtfully.
"He was a tough kid, light of his Dad"s life. But that summer his father caught him with one of the shearers and it was all over. Up until then Phil was heading for university-he wanted to be a doctor-but after that his parents told him he wasn"t going anywhere. His dad said he"d rather have him on the property where he could keep an eye on him than risk him living a life of deviation." She saw Cadie"s jaw drop. "Those were his exact words.
"Phil lasted about a week after that. I talked myself blue trying to buck him up. But one night he just went out to the big shed, took down his father"s shotgun and..." The words stuck in Jo"s throat and she fell silent, swallowing down sudden tears that surprised her so long after the event. She felt a soft hand on hers and looked up to meet kind sea-green eyes gazing back at her with sympathy.
"That"s when I decided I had to get out. Phil and I had a lot in common and I guess I saw my future in what he did if I didn"t do something pretty drastic to change things. So one night while Mum and Dad were sleeping I snuck out, threw my things in the back of the old ute and just... disappeared." She dropped her eyes, ashamed all over again of what she had done to her parents.
"It was as easy as that?" Cadie asked quietly.
"Sure," Jo shrugged. "I drove straight through the night, dumped the ute the next morning once I hit a decent-sized town and hitched the rest of the way to Sydney. From there it was just a matter of blending in. There are thousands of street kids in that city, always have been. I was just one more face in the crowd."
"You lived on the streets?"
"Mhmm, for a while."
"Did you tell your parents where you were?"
"Not straight away," Jo murmured. "It was about a year before I felt established and that"s when I called them." She paused. "I really regret waiting so long."
Cadie looked at her quizzically.
"Dad had a heart attack after I left because of the stress of not knowing what had happened to me," Jo continued. "They nearly lost the farm because they had to pay for extra hands to do what he couldn"t anymore. By then I was earning money so I offered to send some back to help them out. But they wouldn"t accept anything from me. I"ll never make up for the pain I caused them."
Cadie squeezed Jo"s hand and then kissed the palm softly. "So how did you get off the streets and into a job?" she asked.
"Tony found me."
"This is the bit that relates to the nightmare, right?"
Jo laughed wryly. "I have taken a while to get back to that, haven"t I?" She paused for a moment to gather her memories together. "When you live on the streets of Sydney, you"re never too far away from the drug scene. I managed to avoid using the stuff-that kind of thing had never appealed to me much. But guys like Tony made good use of street kids. He paid good money to me to make deliveries and run errands. If there"s one thing a street kid needs more than food and shelter it"s a few extra dollars in the pocket. So I played the game.
"Trouble is Marco had other things in mind for me. One night he cornered me-just like I cornered that girl five years ago-only he wasn"t out to kill me."
Cadie gasped. "Oh G.o.d, Jo, he didn"t..."
Jo smiled wanly. "He certainly tried," she answered quietly. "Tony intervened, luckily for me, and gave Marco a beating for his trouble."
"No wonder he came after you," Cadie said.
"I"m surprised he waited as long as he did, frankly," Jo replied, wincing as she shifted, catching the bandage around her arm on the bed sheet.
Cadie noticed. "Where"s the first aid kit, Jo?" she asked. "I"m going to change the dressing on your arm."
"It"s okay," Jo demurred.
"Don"t argue with me, okay? Where is it?"
Jo smiled, relenting. A little pampering wouldn"t do me any harm. It"s been a long time since anybody wanted to. "I put it back in the main bathroom," she replied.
"Stay right where you are," Cadie ordered, swinging her legs out of the bed and bounding out of the room.
Jo lay back on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Dredging up all the old memories was giving her the strangest sensations. I haven"t thought of Phil in the longest time, she realized. I wonder how his folks are doing. She struggled to pull their faces out of her memory banks.
Shortly, Cadie was back, clambering up onto the bed again, first aid kit in hand. "Come on, turn over, so I can get at it," she said. Jo sat up and turned around, lifting the right arm of her t-shirt so the blonde could remove the old bandage. Carefully Cadie started peeling the fabric free, wincing a little in sympathy as the dried blood caught and pulled. "Ouch, sorry," she muttered.
"No worries," Jo replied, gritting her teeth.
"So what happened after Tony rescued you from Marco?" Cadie asked.
Jo sighed, another flood of memories sweeping over her. "He took me off the streets and handed me over to the kung fu school," she said.
"Kung fu school?"
"Yeah. Tony ran a martial arts academy in the middle of King"s Cross. By day, the instructors took cla.s.ses, and by night they patrolled the streets in pairs."
"Why"d they do that?"
"Well, ostensibly they were doing the community a service. You know, keeping the streets safe and all that." Cadie nodded. "But in reality it was a protection racket. Restaurant and store owners paid Tony a fee and in exchange he didn"t torch their buildings, or let anyone else torch them. d.a.m.n, that smarts."
Cadie stopped cleaning the wound for a second. "Sorry, there"s a bit of infection in here, Jo-Jo. Are you sure we shouldn"t have a doctor look at this?" She carefully prodded again at the angry-looking graze with a cotton bud.
Jo pulled a face as she tried to get a good view of the wound. "No," she said. "It"ll just mean a needle for me and a ton of paperwork for the doctor,"
"Don"t tell me a big, strong girl like you is a wimp about needles," Cadie teased, resuming her careful exploration of the swollen edges of the cut.
Jo raised an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Actually, yeah. Can"t help it. Lays me out flat every time." She watched as the American started to rewrap the wound. "Anyway... Tony installed me at the kung fu school, gave me a roof over my head, and kept me well away from Marco. I showed a bit of talent for martial arts and he began grooming me to be his personal bodyguard. He was getting to the age where he didn"t think he could protect himself enough. And he didn"t quite trust Marco."
Cadie finished wrapping a fresh bandage around Jo"s arm. "I take it by "a bit of talent" that you were actually kicking everyone else"s b.u.t.t?" she asked.
"Yeah, I guess so," Jo muttered. "If I"d known where it would lead...I don"t know, maybe it would have been different..." For a few moments she seemed lost in a haze of memories.
Cadie fixed the end of the bandage with a clip and gently patted the Australian"s arm. "All done." She watched as Jo glumly swung back around and lay down on her back again. Cadie picked up the now-empty platter and carefully placed it on the bedside table before resuming her spot next to the dark-haired woman. She propped herself on an elbow and looked down at Jo.
"Thanks," Jo said looking up into Cadie"s smiling face. "Why isn"t any of this bothering you?"
Cadie thought carefully about her answer for a few seconds. "Because I don"t think that"s who you are anymore," she answered. "Because I"m not sure it"s who you really were then either. Because something... G.o.d, I"m not even sure what...tells me that you"re a good person, no matter what you"ve done in the past." She paused again as a small piece of truth floated up through her consciousness. "And because I just feel safe with you." She shrugged her shoulders and grinned down at her companion. "Don"t ask me to explain it all beyond that, darling, because I don"t think I can."
Jo suddenly found herself fighting tears. "You"re an amazing woman, Arcadia Jones," she whispered.
"I"m in love with an amazing woman, Jo-Jo," came the soft reply. Cadie leaned down and claimed the taller woman"s lips for a deep kiss.
Jo melted at the touch, retaining just enough sense to wrap her arms around the blonde and pull her down on top of her. She felt Cadie relax against her and together they deepened the contact into something that lasted minutes rather than seconds. She groaned softly, reveling in the feeling of giving herself over to another person. Cadie"s hands roamed her body, sliding slowly up under her t-shirt and Jo arched against her as sensuality radiated out from the blonde"s teasing touch.
Cadie could hardly believe the silky softness of Jo"s skin, hard muscles rippling just under the surface, speaking of power and control that she found intriguingly s.e.xy. She felt Jo press her thigh between her own and they both moaned as bare skin came up against warm wetness.
The blonde teetered on the brink of just throwing away all rational thought, every care she had for the sake of the pa.s.sion that threatened to overtake them both. For a moment she hesitated, and then she went limp, whimpering in the dark, warm nest formed by Jo"s neck and her hair.
Cadie felt the vibration of a deep, rumbling chuckle from the woman beneath her and she smiled at the skipper"s good-natured response. Long arms wrapped her up in a tight hug and Jo kissed her temple softly.
"I"m driving you nuts, aren"t I?" the blonde asked wistfully, willing her body"s reactions to settle.
"Yes." Jo laughed. "But I understand." She squeezed the smaller woman gently. "G.o.d help us the day we get to take this through to its natural conclusion." She grinned.
Cadie looked up at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"
Jo laughed again. "I may just spontaneously combust," she joked.
That brought a belly laugh from the woman in her arms and soon they were giggling hysterically again.
"Oh dear," Cadie gulped, wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh, that felt good. That"s one of the things I love about being with you, Jo." She smiled fondly at the dark-haired woman. "You have this knack for making me laugh."
Jo said nothing but took the opportunity to roll them both over, till she was sprawled half on the bed and half over the blonde. She rested her cheek on Cadie"s breast, her arm wrapped firmly around the smaller woman. She felt Cadie enfold her in a hug, one hand stroking slowly through her hair. Jo felt a surge of well being that connected her to the American in a way she hadn"t experienced with anyone else before.
"I"ve never felt this good," she half-whispered, making Cadie wonder if she"d heard correctly. "Whatever happens, I"ll be forever grateful for the time we"ve had."
Cadie bit her lip, trying not to succ.u.mb to the tears she could hear just under the surface of Jo"s words. "I will be back," she whispered back. "I don"t know when, but I will be back. I promise."
"Shhh," Jo said, turning and placing a gentle finger on Cadie"s lips. "Don"t, darling. Don"t make promises. Too much has to happen. Let"s just take each day as it comes."
"Scary thought," Cadie muttered. "I don"t do real well without a plan." She caught Jo"s eye as the tall woman raised an amused eyebrow. "I know, I know, loosen up Arcadia."
Jo shook her head. "No, that wasn"t what I was going to say. I was thinking just how well you are doing given the complete chaos of the last 24 hours," she said.
"Well," Cadie said changing the subject, "you must have a bazillion questions for me. Though I have to warn you, my life is nowhere near as eventful as yours has been."
Jo rolled off the smaller woman and propped herself up on an elbow. "From what I"ve seen, I like your life just fine," she said, gazing down at the American.
"Ask away." Cadie smiled back up at her.
"I guess the immediate question that springs to mind is how did you and Naomi manage to get together in the first place?" Jo asked. "You"re so different from each other, it"s hard for me to picture what drew you together."
Cadie sighed and let her eyes drift to the ceiling, even as she felt Jo"s soothing hand drawing gentle circles on her stomach.
"We"ve both changed," she said simply. "Naomi probably more than me, but I"ve grown up a lot as well." She settled into the story and regained Jo"s eyes, finding them interested and sympathetic. "Have I told you lately that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, Ms Madison?" She was charmed by the fetching blush that colored Jo"s face highlighting her high-planed cheekbones and angular jaw.
"Back at you, Miss Jones," Jo replied huskily. "Now get on with the story." She grinned.
"I can"t help it if I"m distracted by your gorgeousness, can I?" Cadie giggled at the renewed color in Jo"s cheeks, but soon squealed as the Australian"s gentle touch turned into tickling. She wondered at the barely-suppressed strength in the way Jo contained her squirming body, inflicting delicious torture. "Okay, okay, uncle!" Cadie yelped.
Jo relented, a wickedly cheeky grin splitting her face from ear to ear. Cadie caught her breath and relaxed back against the pillows.
"Okay," she said, regaining her composure. "Absolutely nothing interesting happened to me at high school. Jimmy Hofsteder didn"t last long."She grinned at Jo who chuckled in reply. "But I didn"t do anything about my feelings about girls until I was at college." She paused, wondering just how much Jo knew about the college system in the US. "I moved out of Madison for that," she explained. "I got into Northwestern University in Chicago."
"What were you studying?"
"English literature and art history," Cadie replied. "Which guaranteed I graduated with the world"s most useless degree."
"What were you- planning to do with it?"
"All I really knew was that I didn"t want to teach. Through high school my English teachers kept telling me that I should write, but I could never come up with anything original to write about."
She was distracted by Jo"s finger lazily tracing her lips, triggering a delicious wave of sensation. Cadie took the opportunity to softly suck the fingertip into her mouth, watching as Jo"s eyes widened, riveted on the blonde"s mouth.
"You are so wicked," Jo rumbled. "Maybe you should write lesbian erotica. You certainly seem to have a knack for it." Gently she withdrew her finger, with a sigh. "G.o.d...I"m sorry...I didn"t mean to interrupt you."
Cadie cleared her throat. "I don"t mind, trust me," she replied huskily. "Anyway, I met Naomi in my freshman year at NWU. That"s the first year," she explained at Jo"s quizzical look. "She was a senior."