"You mean you and Naomi."
"Yes, but not just that."
"But after that conversation we overheard, you weren"t planning on staying with Naomi regardless of what might happen with us. Were you?" Jo asked uncertainly, a cold trickle of fear working its way through her guts.
"No. But Jo-and this is something else you"re going to have to understand about me-I am going to leave her, but I have to do it the right way." She looked down at Jo, who suddenly felt restless in her arms. "I want to be with you, Jo. But it will be better for both of us if I make sure I come to you with all loose ends tied."
"Okay," Jo said, nodding slowly. "So, what"s the right way?"
Cadie sighed, resting her cheek on the top of Jo"s head. "Right now Naomi thinks she"s just going to dump me at her convenience." She pushed down the rising anger she felt just remembering that d.a.m.n conversation, and Jo"s thumb brushed rea.s.suringly across the back of her hand. "Well, I"m not going to let that happen, because I"m going to leave her the moment we get back to Chicago. But I need her to understand why I"m leaving her. That it"s about her and me, and not about meeting you. If you"d turned out to be a hairy man with a wooden leg and bad breath, I"d still be leaving Naomi."
Jo chuckled. "d.a.m.n. You"ve discovered my real dark and mysterious past," she said quietly.
Cadie laughed out loud, hugging Jo close as they both shook from the belly laughs.
"I understand what you"re saying," Jo said when they"d both recovered. "You don"t want to give her any excuse to duck responsibility for what"s happened to your relationship."
"Exactly."
"You don"t think maybe it"s a little late for that? I mean, she"s been thinking the worst of me from the moment she met me. You"re going to have a hard time convincing her that this isn"t all about you and me."
"I know," Cadie sighed. "But I have to try." She hesitated a little before going on, not sure how Jo would react to what she had to say next. "Honey, there is something else that concerns me." Jo looked up at her questioningly. Cadie took n deep breath.
"I"ve never lived alone." She felt the tall woman go very still in her arms. "I went straight from my parents" home to college and then I was with Naomi. I think..." She hesitated again. "I think I might need some time to myself."
Jo"s heart sank, but she had known that being with Cadie was never a fait accompli. There were just so many complications. She swallowed. "Cadie. I never expected us to have even this," she gestured generally. "Anything you can give me..." She swallowed, suddenly choked up. "I"ll take any time I can get with you, and call myself lucky to have known you."
Cadie squeezed Jo tight, fighting tears of her own. "I want to be with you Jo," she said fiercely. "I do. I just have so much I need to get cleared up first. Some time to get my ducks in a row, if you like."
Jo nodded. "I understand," she said softly. She disengaged herself slowly and stood up, picking up the dinner plates and winegla.s.ses as she did so. She wandered over to the kitchen and placed the dirty dishes in the sink before walking back to the stereo system and selecting another CD.
Cadie watched all this silently, wondering what was going on behind the cool, blue eyes. I"ve hurt her, and that was the last thing I wanted, she thought sadly.
Jo"s mind was going in 15 different directions, but the one thing she was sure of was that she wanted to make the most of this evening. She keyed the stereo and the funky, mellow rhythms wafted out. She walked back to Cadie who was looking up at her with uncertain eyes. She smiled and held out a hand.
"Dance with me?" she asked softly. Cadie beamed back at her and took her hand. Jo pulled her gently into her arms, and she snuggled in, fitting herself to the tall skipper"s contours as they swayed together to the music. Several minutes pa.s.sed in companionable silence as they let the music flow through them, directing their movements. Jo rested her cheek against Cadie"s head and she could feel the blonde"s warm breath on her neck.
"Which old movie?" Jo asked suddenly.
Cadie looked up at her quizzically.
"You said you borrowed a line from an old movie," Jo reminded her.
"Oh." Cadie laughed quietly and burrowed back into Jo"s embrace. "An Affair to Remember."
"Hmmm. Don"t think I"ve ever seen it."
"Mmm. Deborah Kerr. Cary Grant. They fall in love on a cruise. It"s very romantic." Cadie felt Jo squeezing her gently, as they fell back into comfortable silence. "Jo?"
"Mmm?"
"Are you angry with me? For starting something I can"t finish yet?"
"No," she answered simply. "For a start, you beat me to it by about two seconds." She felt Cadie laughing. "And for another, I think it"s been inevitable for about a week, don"t you?"
"How do you explain it?" Cadie wondered. "I"ve never felt this before. Not even in the earliest days of my relationship with Naomi."
Jo considered her response for a few moments. "Do you believe in soulmates?" she finally asked.
Cadie looked up at her. "You mean, two souls going through time, meeting each other again and again? That kind of thing?"
"Mhmm."
"I never really thought about it before," she said honestly. "You think that"s what"s going on with us?"
Jo shrugged slightly as they danced. "Well, think about it. When was the first time you felt like you knew me?" She looked down into curious green eyes.
"That"s easy," Cadie replied quickly. "I saw you from my hotel balcony when you pulled the Seawolf into the Hamilton Island marina. I can remember thinking how I felt like I"d seen you before somewhere." She grinned up at Jo, whose eyes had widened perceptibly.
"That was you, wasn"t it?" she asked wonderingly. "Wow."
Cadie nodded. "So maybe your theory is right," she muttered, snuggling back into Jo"s arms, squeezing her softly. "This certainly feels right."
"Yes it does," Jo murmured, kissing the top of Cadie"s head. She started to quietly sing, following along with the music they were dancing to.
"Mmm," purred Cadie. "You are so good at that."
Jo smiled. "I only do it when I"m inspired," she said, lifting Cadie"s chin and ducking her head to meet soft, willing lips. She felt the blonde"s hand slide to the back of her neck and into her hair, pulling her closer. Jo moaned softly into the kiss and Cadie met the sound with one of her own, their bodies surging together as the pa.s.sion intensified once more.
"Oh G.o.d, Jo, I want you so much," Cadie gasped when they broke off again. Jo"s hands slid down to her backside and lifted her up. Quickly she wrapped her legs around the tall woman"s waist and found herself, for once, at eye level. It was an intriguing perspective.
"And I want to make love with you all night." Jo throw the CD and kissed the blonde again, deep and soft and open. Cadie melted against her. "Instead, I"ll make do with the next five minutes," she muttered as she started to walk them both into the second bedroom. Cadie groaned, recognizing Jo"s willpower was the only thing stopping her from breaking her own promise to herself.
They kissed hungrily as Jo backed up against the bed and sat down slowly, giving Cadie a chance to unwind her legs before she leaned back onto the mattress. The blonde straddled Jo"s hips, her hands on either side of her head. She gazed down.
"You are so beautiful," Cadie murmured, tracing Jo"s collarbone with her lips. The tall woman"s hands on the blonde"s hips pulled her closer and both women groaned at the contact. "You are so beautiful and from the moment I saw this robe, I"ve been wanting to peel it off you." Her fingers trailed down the edge of the robe, teasing the skin below.
"Almost as much as I want to pull that t-shirt off you," Jo replied, even as she used her greater strength and body weight to flip them over, pinning Cadie. They grinned at each other breathlessly. "And you too, are beautiful, Arcadia," she said softly, leaning down and kissing the hollow at the base of the blonde"s neck. She lingered, brushing her lips against the soft skin. "And I cannot wait for the day... or night... when I can undress, and tease, and excite you." She interspersed each phrase with a kiss up Cadie"s neck, until finally she reached her mouth, parting her lips tenderly with her own, beginning a long, deep exploration.
Cadie moaned softly, arching under Jo, aching to be touched.
"Two out of three isn"t bad, Skipper," she muttered when the kiss finally ended, and she felt Jo"s smile against her neck. "I"m sorry, Jo," she said quietly.
The skipper pushed up on her elbows and looked down at Cadie.
"Don"t apologize for any of this, sweetheart," she said gently. "There are two of us here and, if you hadn"t noticed, I seem to be a more than willing partic.i.p.ant." She kissed the blonde once more and then reluctantly disentangled herself. "But right now, I"m going to leave you here, before we both explode."
They spent a few more seconds gazing at each other with open desire, and then sighed in unison. Jo growled in frustration as she stood up, provoking a giggle from her supine companion.
"Sleep well, gorgeous," Jo said as she walked out of the room.
"Aye aye, Captain," Cadie replied cheekily, saluting the retreating woman.
"Oh, shut up," came the response.
Cadie laughed quietly and lay back on the bed, hands behind her head. Her body was still tingling with desire and she just absorbed the feelings for a few minutes, listening to Jo moving around in the living area before going into her own bedroom.
What a day, she thought as she slid the shorts down over her hips and off, tossing them on to the chair in the corner. She"s a complicated woman and I... She gasped, suddenly realizing what she was thinking. Cadie crawled under the top sheet and curled up on her side.
Jo slid out of the robe, dropping it on the foot of the bed. She stretched wearily, feeling every ache in her muscles and joints, as well as the more pleasant ache of l.u.s.t. She smiled softly and walked to the dresser, pulling out another old t-shirt and slipping it over her head. Seconds later she was curled up in bed, gazing out at the moonlit ocean and wondering at the strangeness of the day.
I should be exhausted, she pondered. But I feel like something new has begun. And Cadie... G.o.d, she makes me feel so good. She grinned at the moonlight. I don"t care how long I have to wait for her. She"s worth it. Jo closed her eyes, letting the pleasant tingling echoes of Cadie"s touch ripple across her skin.
"Jo?" Cadie called out.
"Yes?"
"Goodnight." I love you, Jo.
Jo smiled again. I love you, Cadie. ""Night."
Cadie wasn"t sure what woke her but she suspected the big, black cat sitting next to her might have had something to do with it. The wind had picked up again, and occasional flashes of lightning through her bedroom window suggested another storm had rolled in. She reached out and scratched under the feline"s chin.
"h.e.l.lo, Mephisto," she whispered. "Did the thunder scare you, boy?"
A soft meow answered her and the cat jumped down from the bed and headed for the door. He stopped once to look over his shoulder and meowed at her again.
Intrigued, Cadie disentangled herself from the sheet and padded after him. "If this is all so you can show me a half-chewed dead mouse, I"m not going to be happy, cat," she muttered.
Finding a black cat in a dark room wasn"t the easiest task, but finally an opportune sequence of lightning showed her the way. He sat, washing his face, in front of Jo"s open bedroom door.
"Okay, so what"s up?" she whispered.
Fortunately she didn"t have to wait for him to answer. She could hear low sounds of distress coming from Jo"s room and tentatively she stepped through the door.
She"s crying. As her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light she could make out Jo"s long shape moving restlessly under the sheet, her face framed by the fan of dark hair splayed out on the pillow. Her head turned from side to side as she moaned through whatever nightmare visions she was experiencing. Cadie could see tears streaking Jo"s cheeks.
"Nooo, no please," Jo moaned. Her hands came up in a defensive gesture and she squirmed.
To Cadie"s eyes it looked like she was trying to back away from something menacing. The blonde"s heart melted all over again at the sight and she moved forward slowly and sat down on the edge of the bed. She reached out and gently took Jo"s shoulder, shaking her slightly.
"Jo." The dreaming woman thrashed away from her touch but Cadie persisted, leaning over Jo and taking both her shoulders in her hands. "Honey, please wake up," she said firmly.
Suddenly Jo surged forward. Sitting bolt upright with eyes wide and frightened, she initially pushed Cadie away. As the dream dropped away and she came fully awake, Jo pulled her back, clinging desperately to the smaller woman. The blonde wrapped her arms around her, stroking Jo"s hair as the skipper took in deep, gulping breaths.
"It"s okay, baby, it was just a dream," Cadie soothed, rocking them both back and forward slowly.
"S-sorry," Jo muttered.
"There"s nothing to apologize for, Jo-Jo." She felt her shivering. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Jo shook her head. "N-no. D-don"t want to go back there now. Maybe in the morning?"
Cadie nodded. "That"s okay, sweetheart. Do you want to try and go back to sleep?" Jo"s only answer was to hug her even closer. "How about if I stay with you?"
She felt Jo relax perceptibly against her, and Cadie suspected she was already drifting back towards sleep. But she was still shivering.
"Come on, Jo-Jo. I"m not leaving you on your own like this, so let"s get snuggled in." Gently she pushed Jo back into the bed and watched the half-asleep woman curl up on her side, facing the ocean. Cadie slid under the sheet and cuddled up against Jo"s back, wrapping arms around her and tucking her head against Jo"s shoulder blade. She felt Jo take her hands and pull her closer and she smiled, placing a kiss against the soft cotton of Jo"s shirt.
"Thank you," Jo mumbled sleepily.
"Ssshhh. Go back to sleep, gorgeous."
""k."
As Cadie drifted off, Mephisto jumped up onto the bed, circled a couple of times, and then settled into a furry ball behind her knees. She smiled softly. Guess that"s the feline stamp of approval, was her last cogent thought.
Chapter Nine.
Sometime in the night, once the second storm had pa.s.sed, Mephisto found it too warm, nestled as he was against Cadie"s skin. He stood and arched his back before he stretched out and flexed his claws. He then padded nonchalantly across the two sleeping women. When he reached the corner of the bed he coiled himself up and leapt high, landing on top of the tall bookcase with practiced ease. One circle to make his nest and the big black cat settled down, front paws tucked under his chest like a sphinx. He gazed down at the two humans with sleepy, half-lidded golden eyes, waiting for the day to begin.
The first suggestion of sunrise touched the two sleeping figures in the bed and seemed to stir them, though neither woke. The cat watched as Jo stretched and rolled over, turning in Cadie"s embrace until they faced each other. The blonde responded by pressing closer, murmuring incoherently as she continued to slumber. Mephisto uncurled and rolled over onto his back, matching the lazy comfort of the women.
Jo felt herself swimming up through a deep, sound sleep towards the pale light of dawn. She protested quietly and tightened her arms around the warm body cuddled up against her left side. Content, she buried her nose in the sweet-smelling hair against her face and settled back down into a drowsy half-awake state.
That"s when it hit her.
Eyelids flew open, revealing startled blue eyes. She stiffened slightly when she realized it was Cadie she was hugging. Jo glanced down and confirmed what her tingling skin told her.
"Hoo boy," she muttered, her brain scrambling to remember how exactly they"d ended up in this position when she was sure they"d gone to bed in separate rooms. Flashes of her nightmare came back to her and a light went on in her head.
I woke Cadie up with my dream, she thought. She looked down again at the blonde woman tucked under her chin, blissfully unaware. Dangerous. She"s so beautiful and I want to keep holding her. Wistfully she planted a tender kiss on the top of Cadie"s head before she gently tried to extract herself from the blonde"s determined grip.
"Noooo," mumbled Cadie, tightening her hold around Jo"s waist and casually flinging her left leg over Jo"s, effectively pinning her in place.
The taller woman couldn"t help but smile and it only took about half a second to give in to the impulse to stay just as she was. "Okay, sweetheart," she muttered. "I"m not going anywhere." She kissed Cadie"s forehead once more and let herself slide back down into the drowsy warmth. I guess it can"t hurt. We "re only sleeping.
Cadie burrowed deeper into the nest of sensual safety. Part of her brain knew it was Jo"s arms that held her close, but mostly she was an unthinking ball of sleepiness, content to feel the warmth of another human at her fingertips and against her face.
Happily she snuggled closer, burying her face against the soft smoothness of Jo"s neck. Unconsciously she kissed the warm skin, murmuring incoherently as her lips made their gentle way up the line of the taller woman"s neck until the blonde was nibbling at the soft spot below her ear.
Lips and tongues merged and tangled as Jo and Cadie"s bodies did what their minds hesitated to permit in wakefulness. Inhibitions forgotten, their movements slowly became more and more pa.s.sionate as desire overtook tenderness, even in sleep. Legs wound around each other, Cadie"s left hooking over Jo"s right hip as the skipper"s long fingers stroked down the outside of her thigh. Sunlight crept across the bed, bathing the two languorously moving figures in light and warmth.