967 Recognize Your True Feelings
Bai Yueran’s hands shook for a second. She looked up at Bai Shuang in astonishment and was actually at a bit of a loss in that moment. She muttered, “You… You… You know about it all?”
Bai Shuang nodded. She looked down at the cow-shaped coffee cup in her hand and replied dryly, “I saw you two kissing in the parking lot.”
Bai Yueran closed her eyes and felt incredibly awkward. She had originally wanted to wait until the Lunar New Year was over before telling Bai Shuang everything. That way, Bai Shuang could have a good holiday. She never imagined that Bai Shuang actually noticed it a long time ago.
So that was the reason why Bai Shuang had been so miserable lately? She had also insisted on moving out of their house. Bai Yueran sighed and nodded seriously. “Yes, we are dating now.”
Bai Shuang’s heart dropped. Although she already knew the answer, she was still incredibly disappointed. Although she had mentally prepared herself for a long time, she truly couldn’t stand it when she heard it coming from Bai Yueran’s own mouth.
Gripping her coffee cup tightly, she waited for a long time to calm herself down before saying, “If that’s the case, then why did you encourage me to pursue Little Ze?” She frowned at Bai Yueran. “If you like him, and he likes you, what’s the meaning behind doing such a thing?”
Bai Yueran had always been firm and decisive, but she clearly wasn’t as upright when it came to emotional matters. But who could speak clearly when it came to emotional matters? Who could recognize their true feelings immediately?
Bai Yueran sighed deeply. Pursing her lips, she mustered the courage to say, “I won’t lie to you. In the beginning, I really didn’t think Little Ze actually suited what I thought I wanted in a boyfriend. I thought I only admired him, but it didn’t mean I loved him.”
Bai Shuang raised a brow. “And then?”
“And after I discovered that you loved Little Ze so much, I thought that I should let you give it a try.” Bai Yueran raised her hand. “I swear that I never initiated anything with Little Ze at that time, nor did I give him any obvious or subtle hints.”
Bai Shuang quietly looked at Bai Yueran, and although she repressed herself a lot, her eyes still turned red. She looked up at the small embedded LED lights in the living room ceiling that resembled stars and choked out the words, “Can I believe you? Sister, you’ve always been the person I admired the most ever since I was young. You were always the ‘other people’s daughters’ that my parents talked about. You were my role model and the goal I strived to become!”
“I’m sorry…” Bai Yueran didn’t feel very good about it, either. She sat next to Bai Shuang and hugged her. “Shuang, Sister never thought about stealing your boyfriend. But you are not the one that Little Ze loves. Sister was moved by him and fell in love with him, too. If you want someone to blame, you can blame Sister for going back on my word.”
Bai Shuang’s body was stiff the entire time. She refused to move closer to Bai Yueran, twisting her head away, stiffening her neck, and allowing her tears to stream down. She cried with reluctance and sorrow.
Although Bai Yueran could understand Bai Shuang’s feelings very well, she also felt terrible. She truly owed a lot to this younger sister. When her Uncle Bai Yusheng, who was also Bai Shuang’s father, betrayed the country and fled, Bai Yueran never regretted reporting him. Although Bai Yusheng was Bai Yueran’s relative, anyone would turn their back on someone who had committed treason as he did.
However, it was still because of Bai Yueran’s actions that Bai Shuang lost her father. And now it was also because of her that Bai Shuang also lost the object of her romantic interest. It could be said that both tragedies related to her family and love life had been due to Bai Yueran. Bai Yueran felt even more guilty.
“How can you be like that?! I liked him for so long! I know that he does have some feelings for me! If you’re going to refuse him, then you should do it decisively! Sister, I feel so horrible! I’m so sad! Why did you still have to come see me?! I really don’t want to see you ever again…” Bai Shuang held it in for a long time and then finally sobbed loudly in Bai Yueran’s arms. She seemed to want to release all the pain and unwillingness through her tears.
Bai Yueran didn’t make a sound as she comforted and embraced Bai Shuang, allowing her to beat her, resist her, or even scream at her…
Bai Shuang vented everything out for some time and finally felt a bit better. Glancing at Bai Yueran, she saw that her expensive high-necked hooded cashmere sweater was completely ruined by her tears and snot. “I’ll go get you something to change into.” Bai Shuang got up from the sofa and dashed quickly into the bedroom.
Bai Yueran smiled wryly when she looked at herself. She knew her cashmere sweater was done for. After she had waited in the living room for a while, Bai Shuang emerged carrying a teal cashmere cardigan. “Sister, put this on. It’s your size, but it’s a bit big for me.”
Bai Yueran looked up at Bai Shuang and finally noticed she had lost a lot of weight recently. “Shuang…” Bai Yueran accepted the cashmere sweater from her. “You’ll meet someone better in the future, someone who only has feelings for you.”
Bai Shuang’s expression was stony as she sneered with disdain. “Save your chicken soup for the soul. I don’t buy that.” Rubbing her eyes that were swollen from crying, Bai Shuang sat down on the couch and replied coolly, “I will be traveling abroad tomorrow.”
Bai Yueran stiffened. She held the cashmere sweater and sat across from her. “Tomorrow? Why are you going away again?”
“If I don’t go abroad, should I stay here and watch you two act affectionate all day? I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stop myself from grabbing a knife and chopping you guys up!” Bai Shuang twisted her head away stubbornly. The anger in her heart refused to subside.
Bai Yueran smiled wryly and shook her head. “You probably don’t need to do that. Little Ze isn’t even in the Hua Xia Empire right now. How could we act affectionate in front of you?”
Bai Shuang froze. “He’s not in the Hua Xia Empire? I was wondering why you weren’t taking advantage of the Lunar New Year to go on a date, and why you had the spare time to come here and bug me.”
“He’s out on a mission, anyway.” Bai Yueran laid on the sofa and rubbed her temple. “Don’t ask me where he went. I wouldn’t tell you, even if I knew.”
“I wouldn’t ask.” Bai Shuang cleared away the coffee cups on the coffee table and recalled Zhao Liangze’s call to her earlier. She decided to ask, “Then you could have long chats over the phone or send texts and chat. Why would lovers be worried about running out of things to say?”
Bai Yueran only shook her head. She also didn’t know why Little Ze had been a.s.signed to a tiny island where even the birds didn’t go to lay eggs. It was doubtful there were even telephones there, so how could they have the opportunity to have long chats over the phone, send texts, or even chat online?!
But these weren’t things she could tell Bai Shuang, so she could only change the topic and say, “After I said goodbye to Little Ze in the parking lot that day, we haven’t seen each other again. I can’t get through to his phone. I asked Big Xiong and finally found out that he went abroad.”
“Kissed goodbye, you two had kissed goodbye.” Bai Shuang’s tone still carried a hint of bitterness and jealousy.
Bai Yueran was also feeling very awkward, so she could only change the topic again. “You are going abroad tomorrow. Did you book your flight yet? Where are you going?”
Bai Shuang pointed to the suitcase in the room. “First I’ll go to Florida for a while, then I’ll go to South America to see the Mayan ruins. I’ve always wanted to go, and it was a shame I couldn’t go when I lived in Central America for so long. This time, I want to go to all the places I’ve always wanted to see.”
“Ok, remember to send me postcards and also send me a message on WeChat when you arrive at each place safely. Ok?” Bai Yueran didn’t stop her again. She knew that Bai Shuang was in no mood to work, so it wasn’t a bad idea to go relaxing abroad. She didn’t lack money, anyway.
“Yeah.” Bai Shuang nodded glumly. Now that both her parents were dead, and she was traveling abroad by herself, she really did want to keep in touch with Bai Yueran. Of course, it was now impossible to chat without any reservations like before. At the very least, Bai Shuang hadn’t completely forgiven Bai Yueran just yet.
Bai Yueran knew that Bai Shuang still had a thorn in her heart, so it was impossible for her to wipe away all her bitterness at once. She could only allow time to fade away all the pain. Bai Yueran sat down for a while and helped Bai Shuang pack the things she needed to go abroad with before saying goodbye.
Not long after she left, Bai Shuang heard her phone ring again. She used one hand to pick up her suitcase and the other to unlock her phone. As soon as she picked up, she discovered it was none other than Zhao Liangze’s voice! He actually called her again from a different number!
Bai Shuang was furious and raised the phone directly to her ear as she said angrily, “Zhao Liangze! Don’t take this too far! I already blocked you! Blocked you, get it?!”
Zhao Liangze’s crisp voice could be heard through the phone. “Shuang, why did you block me? I can’t even wish you Happy New Year?”
“No, you can’t!” Bai Shuang rejected him immediately. “Zhao Liangze, don’t even dream of taking advantage of the two of us, or getting between me and my sister!”
“As if I would do something so lowly!” Zhao Liangze also became angry. “Bai Shuang! I only called you to ask how you’re doing and also apologize to you. What kind of att.i.tude are you giving me!? Do you know how hard it is for me to make even one call!? Stop arguing with me!”