Nort said not a word, but looked Anthy in the eyes. When we moved onward again, however, his mood seemed utterly changed. He walked quickly and began to talk volubly-- Jiminy! If they"d let themselves go! Greatest opportunity in New England! National reputation-- I could scarcely believe that this was the same Nort I had found only an hour before moping by the river.
As we came into Hempfield the lights had begun to come out in the houses; a belated farmer in his lumber wagon rattled down the street.
Men were going into the post office, for it was the hour of the evening mail; we had a whiff, at the corner, of the good common odour of cooking supper. So we stopped at the gate of the printing-office, and looked at each other, and felt abashed, did not know quite what to say, and were about to part awkwardly without saying anything when Nort seized me suddenly by the arm and rushed me into the office.
"h.e.l.lo, Fergus!" he shouted as we came in at the door.
Fergus stood looking at him impa.s.sively, saying nothing at all. He had compromised himself once before that day by giving way to his emotions, and did not propose to be stampeded a second time.
But the old Captain had no such compunctions, and almost fell on Nort"s neck.
"The prodigal is returned," he declared. "Nort, my boy, I want to read you my editorial on Theodore Roosevelt."
Just at this moment Ed Smith came in. I wondered and trembled at what might happen, but Nort was in his grandest mood.
"h.e.l.lo, Ed!" he remarked carelessly. "Say, I"ve thought of an idea for making Tole, the druggist, advertise in the _Star_."
"You have?" responded Ed in a reasonably natural voice.
Thus we were rebundled, at least temporarily. I think of these events as a sort of diplomatic prelude for the real war which was to follow. I was the diplomat who lured Nort back to us with fine words, but old General Fergus was waiting there grimly at the cases, in full preparedness, to play his part. For this was not the final struggle, nor the most necessary for Nort. That was reserved for a simpler man than I am: that was left for Fergus.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
CHAPTER XV
I GET BETTER ACQUAINTED WITH ANTHY
As we look backward, those times in our lives which glow brightest, seem most worth while, are by no means those in which we have been happiest or most successful, but rather those in which, though painful and even sorrowful, we have been most necessary, most _desired_. To be needed in other human lives--is there anything greater or more beautiful in this world?
It was in the weeks that followed upon these events that I came to know Anthy best, nearest, deepest--to be of most use to her and to the _Star_. A strange thing it was, too; for the nearer I came to her, the farther away I seemed to find myself! She was very wonderful that winter. I saw her grow, strengthen, deepen, under that test of the spirit, and with a curious unconsciousness of her own development, as she shows in the one letter to Lincoln of that period which has been saved. She seemed to think it was all a part of the daily work; that the _Star_ must be preserved, and that it was inc.u.mbent upon her to do it.
In those days I was often at her home, sometimes walking from the office with her and the old Captain, sometimes with the old Captain, sometimes alone with Anthy. She was not naturally very talkative, especially, as I found, with one she knew well and trusted; but I think I have never known any other human being who seemed so much alive just underneath.
It was on one of these never-to-be-forgotten evenings in the old library of her father"s house, with the books all around, that I came first into Anthy"s deeper life. A draft from an open door stirred the picture of Lincoln on the wall above the mantelpiece, and a letter, slipping from behind it, dropped almost at my feet. I stooped and picked it up and read the writing on the envelope:
"_To Abraham Lincoln._"
Anthy"s attention had been momentarily diverted to the door, and she did not see what had happened.
"A letter to Lincoln," I said aloud, turning it over in my hand.
I shall never forget how she turned toward me with a quick intake of her breath, the colour in her face, and her hand slowly lifting to her breast. She took a step toward me, and I, knowing that I had somehow touched a deep spring of her life, held out the letter. A moment we stood thus, a moment I can never forget. Then she said in a low voice:
"Read it, David."
I cut the envelope and read the letter to Lincoln, and knew that Anthy had opened a way into her confidence for me that had never before been opened to any one else.
"David," she said, "I wanted you to know. In some ways you have come closer to me than any one else except my father."
She said it without embarra.s.sment, straight at me with clear eyes. I was like her father. I understood.
[Ill.u.s.tration: _After that she opened her heart more and more to me--a little here, a little there_]
I begged that letter of her, and others written both before and after, and keep them in the securest part of my golden treasury. After that she opened her heart more and more to me--a little here, a little there. I waited for those moments, counted on them, tried to avoid the slightest appearance of any jarring emotion, found them incomparably beautiful.
She gave me vivid glimpses of her early life, of the books she liked best and the poetry, told me with enthusiasm of her college life and the different girls who were her friends (showing me their pictures), and finally, and choicest of all, she told me, a little here and a little there, of the curious imaginative adventures which had been so much a part of her girlhood. I presume I took all these things more seriously than she did, for she exhibited them in no solemn vein, as though they were important, but always in an amusing or playful light--here with a bit of mock heroics, there with half-wistful laughter. And yet, through it all, I could see that they had meant a great deal to her.
I think, I am almost sure, that Anthy had never at this time had a love affair in any ordinary sense. To the true romance and the truly romantic--and by this I do not mean sentimental--the realities of love are often late in coming. To the true romance the idea of marriage is at first repugnant, will not be thought about, for it seeks to square and conventionalize a great burst of the spirit. The inner life is so keen, so vivid, that it satisfies itself, and it must indeed be a prince who would kiss awake the eyes of the dreamer.
Some of these things, when I began this narrative, I had no intention of setting down in cold type, for they are among the deepest experiences in my life, and yet if I am to give an idea of what Anthy was and of the events which followed, it is imposed upon me to leave nothing out.
I do not wish to indicate, however, that the talks I had with Anthy usually or even often reached these depths of the intimate. These were the rare and beautiful flowers which blossomed upon the slow-growing branches of the tree of intimacy. It was a curious thing, also, that while she let me more and more deeply into her own life she knew less about what was in my life than many other friends, far less even than Nort. Youth is like that, too, and even when essentially unselfish, it is terribly absorbed in the wonders of its own being. I knew what it meant. In a way it was the price I paid for the utter trust she had in me.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
CHAPTER XVI
THE OLD CAPTAIN COMES INTO HIS OWN
It was a great winter we had in the office of the _Star_. It was in those months that we really made the _Star_. It was curious, indeed, once we began to be knitted together in a new bundle--with Anthy"s quiet and strong hand upon us--how the qualities in each of us which had seriously threatened to disrupt the organization, had set us all by the ears, were the very qualities which contributed most to the success which followed. It all seems clear enough now, though vague and uncertain then, that what we really did was to _use_ the obstreperous and irritating traits of each of us instead of trying to repress them.
There was the old Captain, for example. Ed thought him a "dodo," and wanted to put him on the shelf, where many a vigorous old man"s heart has bitterly rusted out just because his loving friends, lovingly taking his life work out of his hands, have been too stupid to know how to use the treasures of his experience. Nort smiled at the way he tourneyed like Don Quixote with windmills of issues long dead, and I was impatient, the Lord forgive me, with his financial extravagances at a time when the _Star_ was barely making a living. But Anthy loved him.
I don"t know exactly how it came about, but one evening when we were all in the office together the talk turned on the Civil War. Some one asked the Captain:
"You knew General McClellan personally, didn"t you, Cap"n?"
I remember how the old Captain squared himself up in his chair.
"Yes, I knew Little Mac. I knew Little Mac----"
It took nothing at all to set the Captain off, and he was soon in full flood.
"I said to Little Mac, riding to him at full gallop ... and Little Mac said to me:
""Captain Doane."
""Yes, sir, General," said I.
""Do you see that rebel battery down there on the hillside?"
""I do, General."