Yet I cannot describe how loth I was to leave to night"s desolation the shapeless house of a child. What fate was this that had set her to such profitless labour on the uttermost sh.o.r.es of "Tragedy"? What history lay behind, past, or, as it were, never to come? What gladness too high for earth had nearly once been hers? Her sea-mound took strange shapes in the gloom--light foliage of stone, dark heaviness of granite, wherein rumour played of all that restless rustling; small cries, vast murmurings from those green meadows, old as night.
I turned, even ran away, at last. I found my boat in the gloaming where I had left her, safe and sound, except that all the doctor"s good things had been nosed and tumbled by some hungry beast in my absence. I stood and thought vacantly of Crusoe, and pig, and guns.
But what use to delay? I got in.
If it were true, as the excellent doctor had informed me, that seamen reported islands not far distant from these sh.o.r.es, chance might bear me blissfully to one of these. And if not true ... I turned a rather startled face to the water, and made haste not to think. Fortune pierces deep, and baits her hooks with sceptics. Away I went, bobbing mightily over the waves that leapt and wrestled where sea and river met. These safely navigated, I rowed the great creature straight forward across the sea, my face towards dwindling land, my prow to Scorpio.
XVI
_Art thou pale for weariness._
--PERCY BYSSHE Sh.e.l.lEY.
The constellations of summer wheeled above me; and thus between water and starry sky I tossed solitary in my boat. The faint l.u.s.tre of the sultry night hung like a mist from heaven to earth. Far away above the countries I had left perhaps for ever, the quiet lightnings played innocently in the heights.
I rowed steadily on, guiding myself by some much ruddier star on the horizon. The pale phosph.o.r.escence on the wave, the simple sounds as of fish stirring in the water--the beauty and wonder of Night"s dwelling-place seemed beyond content of mortality.
I leaned on my oars in the midst of the deep sea, and seemed to hear, as it were, the mighty shout of s.p.a.ce. Faint and enormous beams of light trembled through the sky. And once I surprised a shadow as of wings sweeping darkly across, star on to glittering star, shaking the air, stilling the sea with the cold dews of night.
So rowing, so resting, I pa.s.sed the mark of midnight. Weariness began to steal over me. Between sleep and wake I heard strange cries across the deep. The thin silver of the old moon ebbed into the east. A chill mist welled out of the water and shrouded me in faintest gloom.
Wherefore, battling no more against such influences, I shipped my oars, made my prayer in the midst of this dark womb of Life, and screening myself as best I could from the airs that soon would be moving before dawn, I lay down in the bottom of the boat and fell asleep.
I slept apparently without dream, and woke as it seemed to the sound of voices singing some old music of the sea. A scent of a fragrance unknown to me was eddying in the wind. I raised my head, and saw with eyes half-dazed with light an island of cypress and poplar, green and still above the pure gla.s.s of its encircling waters. Straight before me, beyond green-bearded rocks dripping with foam, a little stone house, or temple, with columns and balconies of marble, stood hushed upon the cliff by the waterside.
All now was soundless. They that sang, whether Nereids or Sirens, had descended to dimmer courts. The seamews floated on the water; the white dove strutted on the ledge; only the nightingales sang on in the thick arbours.
I pushed my boat between the rocks towards the island. Bright and burning though the beams of the sun were, here seemed everlasting shadow. And though at my gradual intrusion, at splash or grating of keel, the startled cormorant cried in the air, and with one cry woke many, yet here too seemed perpetual stillness.
How could I know what eyes might not be regarding me from bowers as thick and secluded as these? Yet this seemed an isle in some vague fashion familiar to me. To these same watery steps of stone, to this same mooring-ring surely I had voyaged before in dream or other life?
I glanced into the water and saw my own fantastic image beneath the reflected gloom of cypresses, and knew at least, though I a shadow might be, this also was an island in a sea of shadows. Far from all land its marbles might be reared, yet they were warm to my touch, and these were nightingales, and those strutting doves beneath the little arches.
So very gradually, and glancing to and fro into these unstirring groves, I came presently to the entrance court of the solitary villa on the cliff-side. Here a thread-like fountain plashed in its basin, the one thing astir in this cool retreat. Here, too, grew orange trees, with their unripe fruit upon them.
But I continued, and venturing out upon the terrace overlooking the sea, saw again with a kind of astonishment the doctor"s green, unwieldy boat beneath me and the emerald of the nearer waters tossing above the yellow sands.
Here I had sat awhile lost in ease when I heard a footstep approaching and the rhythmical rustling of drapery, and knew eyes were now regarding me that I feared, yet much desired to meet.
"Oh me!" said a clear yet almost languid voice. "How comes any man so softly?"
Turning, I looked in the face of one how long a shade!
I strove in vain to hide my confusion. This lady only smiled the deeper out of her baffling eyes.
"If you could guess," she said presently, "how my heart leapt in me, as if, poor creature, any oars of earth could bring it ease, you would think me indeed as desolate as I am. To hear the bird scream, Traveller! I hastened from the gardens as if the black ships of the Greeks were come to take me. But such is long ago. Tell me, now, is the world yet harsh with men and sad with women? Burns yet that madness mirth calls Life? or truly does the puny, busy-tongued race sleep at last, nodding no more at me?"
I told as best I could how chance had fetched me; told, too, that earth was yet pestered with men, and heavenly with women. "And the madness mirth calls Life flickers yet," I said; "and the little race tosses on in nightmare."
"Ah!" she replied, "so ever run travellers" tales. I too once trusted to seem indifferent. But you, if shadow deceives me not, may yet return: I, only to the shades whence earth draws me. Meanwhile," she said, looking softly at the fountain playing in the clear gloom beyond, "rest and grow weary again, for there flock more questions to my tongue than spines on the blackthorn. The gardens are green with flowers, Traveller; let us talk where rosemary blows."
Following her, I thought of the mysterious beauty of her eyes, her pallor, her slimness, and that faint smile which hovered between ecstasy and indifference, and away went my mind to one whom the shrewdest and tenderest of my own countrymen called once Criseyde.
She led me into a garden all of faint-hued flowers. There bloomed no scarlet here, nor blue, nor yellow; but white and lavender and purest purple. Here, also, like torches of the sun, stood poplars each by each in the windless air, and the impenetrable darkness of cypresses beneath them.
Here too was a fountain whose waters leapt no more, mossy and time-worn. I could not but think of those other gardens of my journey--Jane"s, Ennui"s, Dianeme"s; and yet none like this for the shingley murmur of the sea, and the calmness of morning.
"But, surely," I said, "this must be very far from Troy."
"Far indeed," she said.
"Far also from the hollow ships."
"Far also from the hollow ships," she replied.
"Yet," said I, "in the country whence I come is a saying: Where the treasure is--"
"Alack! _there_ gloats the miser!" said Criseyde; "but I, Traveller, have no treasure, only a patchwork memory, and that"s a great grief."
"Well, then, forget! Why try in vain?" I said.
She smiled and seated herself, leaning a little forward, looking upon the ground.
"Soothfastness _must_,"" she said very gravely, raising her long black eyebrows; "yet truly it must be a forlorn thing to be remembered by one who so lightly forgets. So then I say, to teach myself to be true--"Look now, Criseyde, yonder fine, many-hearted poplar--that is Paris; and all that bank of marriage-ivy--that is marriageable Helen, green and cold; and the waterless fountain--that truly is Diomed; and the faded flower that nods in shadow, why, that must be me, even me, Criseyde!""
"And this thick rosemary-bush that smells of exile, who, then, is that?" I said.
She looked deep into the shadow of the cypresses. "That," she said, "I think I have forgot again."
"But," I said, "Diomed, now, was he quite so silent--not one trickle of persuasion?"
"Why," she said, "I think "twas the fountain was Diomed: I know not.
And as for persuasion; he was a man forked, vain, and absolute as all.
Let the waterless stone be sudden Diomed--you will confuse my wits, Mariner; where, then, were I?" She smiled, stooping lower. "You have voyaged far?" she said.
"From childhood to this side regret," I answered rather sadly.
""Tis a sad end to a sweet tale," she said, "were it but truly told.
But yet, and yet, and yet--you may return, and life heals every, every wound. _I_ must look on the ground and make amends. "Tis this same making amends men now call "Purgatory," they tell me."
""Amends,"" I said; "to whom? for what?"
"Welaway," said she, with a narrow fork between her brows; "to most men and to all women, for being that Criseyde." She gazed half solemnly at some picture of reverie.
"But which Criseyde?" I said. "She who was every wind"s, or but one perfect summer"s?"
She glanced strangely at me. "Ask of the night that burns so many stars," she said. "All"s done; all pa.s.ses. Yet my poor busy Uncle Pandar had no such changes, nor Hector, nor ... Men change not: they love and love again--one same tune of a myriad verses."