"Will my lord think so when he comes back?" the lady asked, with a sigh, and another look at her Venice gla.s.s. "Suppose he should think as you do, sir, that I am hideous-yes, you said hideous-he will cease to care for me.
"Tis all men care for in women, our little beauty. Why did he select me from among my sisters? "Twas only for that. We reign but for a day or two: and be sure that Vashti knew Esther was coming."
"Madam," said Mr. Esmond, "Ahasuerus was the Grand Turk, and to change was the manner of his country, and according to his law."
"You are all Grand Turks for that matter," said my lady, "or would be if you could. Come, Frank, come, my child. You are well, praised be Heaven.
_Your_ locks are not thinned by this dreadful small-pox: nor your poor face scarred-is it, my angel?"
Frank began to shout and whimper at the idea of such a misfortune. From the very earliest time the young lord had been taught to admire his beauty by his mother: and esteemed it as highly as any reigning toast valued hers.
One day, as he himself was recovering from his fever and illness, a pang of something like shame shot across young Esmond"s breast as he remembered that he had never once, during his illness, given a thought to the poor girl at the smithy, whose red cheeks but a month ago he had been so eager to see. Poor Nancy! her cheeks had shared the fate of roses, and were withered now. She had taken the illness on the same day with Esmond-she and her brother were both dead of the small-pox, and buried under the Castlewood yew-trees. There was no bright face looking now from the garden, or to cheer the old smith at his lonely fireside. Esmond would have liked to have kissed her in her shroud (like the la.s.s in Mr. Prior"s pretty poem), but she rested many foot below the ground, when Esmond after his malady first trod on it.
Doctor Tusher brought the news of this calamity, about which Harry Esmond longed to ask, but did not like. He said almost the whole village had been stricken with the pestilence; seventeen persons were dead of it, among them mentioning the names of poor Nancy and her little brother. He did not fail to say how thankful we survivors ought to be. It being this man"s business to flatter and make sermons, it must be owned he was most industrious in it, and was doing the one or the other all day.
And so Nancy was gone; and Harry Esmond blushed that he had not a single tear for her, and fell to composing an elegy in Latin verses over the rustic little beauty. He bade the dryads mourn and the river-nymphs deplore her. As her father followed the calling of Vulcan, he said that surely she was like a daughter of Venus, though Sievewright"s wife was an ugly shrew, as he remembered to have heard afterwards. He made a long face, but, in truth, felt scarcely more sorrowful than a mute at a funeral. These first pa.s.sions of men and women are mostly abortive; and are dead almost before they are born. Esmond could repeat, to his last day, some of the doggerel lines in which his muse bewailed his pretty la.s.s; not without shame to remember how bad the verses were, and how good he thought them; how false the grief, and yet how he was rather proud of it. "Tis an error, surely, to talk of the simplicity of youth. I think no persons are more hypocritical, and have a more affected behaviour to one another, than the young. They deceive themselves and each other with artifices that do not impose upon men of the world; and so we got to understand truth better, and grow simpler as we grow older.
When my lady heard of the fate which had befallen poor Nancy, she said nothing so long as Tusher was by, but when he was gone, she took Harry Esmond"s hand and said-
"Harry, I beg your pardon for those cruel words I used on the night you were taken ill. I am shocked at the fate of the poor creature, and am sure that nothing had happened of that with which, in my anger, I charged you.
And the very first day we go out, you must take me to the blacksmith, and we must see if there is anything I can do to console the poor old man.
Poor man! to lose both his children! What should I do without mine!"
And this was, indeed, the very first walk which my lady took, leaning on Esmond"s arm, after her illness. But her visit brought no consolation to the old father; and he showed no softness, or desire to speak. "The Lord gave and took away," he said; and he knew what His servant"s duty was. He wanted for nothing-less now than ever before, as there were fewer mouths to feed. He wished her ladyship and Master Esmond good morning-he had grown tall in his illness, and was but very little marked; and with this, and a surly bow, he went in from the smithy to the house, leaving my lady, somewhat silenced and shamefaced, at the door. He had a handsome stone put up for his two children, which may be seen in Castlewood churchyard to this very day; and before a year was out his own name was upon the stone.
In the presence of Death, that sovereign ruler, a woman"s coquetry is scared; and her jealousy will hardly pa.s.s the boundaries of that grim kingdom. "Tis entirely of the earth that pa.s.sion, and expires in the cold blue air, beyond our sphere.
At length, when the danger was quite over, it was announced that my lord and his daughter would return. Esmond well remembered the day. The lady, his mistress, was in a flurry of fear: before my lord came, she went into her room, and returned from it with reddened cheeks. Her fate was about to be decided. Her beauty was gone-was her reign, too, over? A minute would say. My lord came riding over the bridge-he could be seen from the great window, clad in scarlet, and mounted on his grey hackney-his little daughter ambled by him in a bright riding-dress of blue, on a shining chestnut horse. My lady leaned against the great mantelpiece, looking on, with one hand on her heart-she seemed only the more pale for those red marks on either cheek. She put her handkerchief to her eyes, and withdrew it, laughing hysterically-the cloth was quite red with the rouge when she took it away. She ran to her room again, and came back with pale cheeks and red eyes-her son in her hand-just as my lord entered, accompanied by young Esmond, who had gone out to meet his protector, and to hold his stirrup as he descended from horseback.
"What, Harry, boy!" my lord said good-naturedly, "you look as gaunt as a greyhound. The small-pox hasn"t improved your beauty, and your side of the house hadn"t never too much of it-ho, ho!"
And he laughed, and sprang to the ground with no small agility, looking handsome and red, with a jolly face and brown hair, like a beef-eater; Esmond kneeling again, as soon as his patron had descended, performed his homage, and then went to greet the little Beatrix, and help her from her horse.
"Fie! how yellow you look," she said; "and there are one, two, red holes in your face;" which, indeed, was very true; Harry Esmond"s harsh countenance bearing, as long as it continued to be a human face, the marks of the disease.
My lord laughed again, in high good humour.
"D-- it!" said he, with one of his usual oaths, "the little s.l.u.t sees everything. She saw the dowager"s paint t"other day, and asked her why she wore that red stuff-didn"t you, Trix? and the Tower; and St. James"s; and the play; and the Prince George, and the Princess Anne-didn"t you, Trix?"
"They are both very fat, and smelt of brandy," the child said.
Papa roared with laughing.
"Brandy!" he said. "And how do you know, Miss Pert?"
"Because your lordship smells of it after supper, when I embrace you before you go to bed," said the young lady, who, indeed, was as pert as her father said, and looked as beautiful a little gipsy as eyes ever gazed on.
"And now for my lady," said my lord, going up the stairs, and pa.s.sing under the tapestry curtain that hung before the drawing-room door. Esmond remembered that n.o.ble figure handsomely arrayed in scarlet. Within the last few months he himself had grown from a boy to be a man, and with his figure, his thoughts had shot up, and grown manly.
My lady"s countenance, of which Harry Esmond was accustomed to watch the changes, and with a solicitous affection to note and interpret the signs of gladness or care, wore a sad and depressed look for many weeks after her lord"s return: during which it seemed as if, by caresses and entreaties, she strove to win him back from some ill humour he had, and which he did not choose to throw off. In her eagerness to please him she practised a hundred of those arts which had formerly charmed him, but which seemed now to have lost their potency. Her songs did not amuse him; and she hushed them and the children when in his presence. My lord sat silent at his dinner, drinking greatly, his lady opposite to him, looking furtively at his face, though also speechless. Her silence annoyed him as much as her speech; and he would peevishly, and with an oath, ask her why she held her tongue and looked so glum, or he would roughly check her when speaking, and bid her not talk nonsense. It seemed as if, since his return, nothing she could do or say could please him.
When a master and mistress are at strife in a house, the subordinates in the family take the one side or the other. Harry Esmond stood in so great fear of my lord, that he would run a league barefoot to do a message for him; but his attachment for Lady Esmond was such a pa.s.sion of grateful regard, that to spare her a grief, or to do her a service, he would have given his life daily: and it was by the very depth and intensity of this regard that he began to divine how unhappy his adored lady"s life was, and that a secret care (for she never spoke of her anxieties) was weighing upon her.
Can any one, who has pa.s.sed through the world and watched the nature of men and women there, doubt what had befallen her? I have seen, to be sure, some people carry down with them into old age the actual bloom of their youthful love, and I know that Mr. Thomas Parr lived to be a hundred and sixty years old. But, for all that, threescore and ten is the age of men, and few get beyond it; and "tis certain that a man who marries for mere _beaux yeux_, as my lord did, considers his part of the contract at end when the woman ceases to fulfil hers, and his love does not survive her beauty. I know "tis often otherwise, I say; and can think (as most men in their own experience may) of many a house, where, lighted in early years, the sainted lamp of love hath never been extinguished; but so there is Mr.
Parr, and so there is the great giant at the fair that is eight feet high-exceptions to men-and that poor lamp whereof I speak, that lights at first the nuptial chamber, is extinguished by a hundred winds and draughts down the chimney, or sputters out for want of feeding. And then-and then it is Chloe, in the dark, stark awake, and Strephon snoring unheeding; or _vice versa_, "tis poor Strephon that has married a heartless jilt, and awoke out of that absurd vision of conjugal felicity, which was to last for ever, and is over like any other dream. One and other has made his bed, and so must lie in it, until that final day when life ends, and they sleep separate.
About this time young Esmond, who had a knack of stringing verses, turned some of Ovid"s epistles into rhymes, and brought them to his lady for her delectation. Those which treated of forsaken women touched her immensely, Harry remarked; and when Oenone called after Paris, and Medea bade Jason come back again, the lady of Castlewood sighed, and said she thought that part of the verses was the most pleasing. Indeed, she would have chopped up the dean, her old father, in order to bring her husband back again. But her beautiful Jason was gone, as beautiful Jasons will go, and the poor enchantress had never a spell to keep him.
My lord was only sulky as long as his wife"s anxious face or behaviour seemed to upbraid him. When she had got to master these, and to show an outwardly cheerful countenance and behaviour, her husband"s good humour returned partially, and he swore and stormed no longer at dinner, but laughed sometimes, and yawned unrestrainedly; absenting himself often from home, inviting more company thither, pa.s.sing the greater part of his days in the hunting-field, or over the bottle as before; but, with this difference, that the poor wife could no longer see now, as she had done formerly, the light of love kindled in his eyes. He was with her, but that flame was out; and that once welcome beacon no more shone there.
What were this lady"s feelings when forced to admit the truth whereof her foreboding gla.s.s had given her only too true warning, that with her beauty her reign had ended, and the days of her love were over? What does a seaman do in a storm if mast and rudder are carried away? He ships a jurymast, and steers as he best can with an oar. What happens if your roof falls in a tempest? After the first stun of the calamity the sufferer starts up, gropes around to see that the children are safe, and puts them under a shed out of the rain. If the palace burns down, you take shelter in the barn. What man"s life is not overtaken by one or more of these tornadoes that send us out of the course, and fling us on rocks to shelter as best we may?
When Lady Castlewood found that her great ship had gone down, she began as best she might, after she had rallied from the effects of the loss, to put out small ventures of happiness; and hope for little gains and returns, as a merchant on "Change, _indocilis pauperiem pati_," having lost his thousands, embarks a few guineas upon the next ship. She laid out her all upon her children, indulging them beyond all measure, as was inevitable with one of her kindness of disposition; giving all her thoughts to their welfare-learning, that she might teach them, and improving her own many natural gifts and feminine accomplishments, that she might impart them to her young ones. To be doing good for some one else, is the life of most good women. They are exuberant of kindness, as it were, and must impart it to some one. She made herself a good scholar of French, Italian, and Latin, having been grounded in these by her father in her youth: hiding these gifts from her husband out of fear, perhaps, that they should offend him, for my lord was no bookman-pish"d and psha"d at the notion of learned ladies, and would have been angry that his wife could construe out of a Latin book of which he could scarce understand two words. Young Esmond was usher, or house tutor, under her or over her, as it might happen. During my lord"s many absences, these schooldays would go on uninterruptedly: the mother and daughter learning with surprising quickness: the latter by fits and starts only, and as suited her wayward humour. As for the little lord, it must be owned that he took after his father in the matter of learning-liked marbles and play, and the great horse, and the little one which his father brought him, and on which he took him out a-hunting-a great deal better than Corderius and Lily; marshalled the village boys, and had a little court of them, already flogging them, and domineering over them with a fine imperious spirit, that made his father laugh when he beheld it, and his mother fondly warn him. The cook had a son, the woodman had two, the big lad at the porter"s lodge took his cuffs and his orders.
Doctor Tusher said he was a young n.o.bleman of gallant spirit; and Harry Esmond, who was his tutor, and eight years his little lordship"s senior, had hard work sometimes to keep his own temper, and hold his authority over his rebellious little chief and kinsman.
In a couple of years after that calamity had befallen which had robbed Lady Castlewood of a little-a very little-of her beauty, and her careless husband"s heart (if the truth must be told, my lady had found not only that her reign was over, but that her successor was appointed, a princess of a n.o.ble house in Drury Lane somewhere, who was installed and visited by my lord at the town eight miles off-_pudet haec opprobria dicere n.o.bis_)-a great change had taken place in her mind, which, by struggles only known to herself, at least never mentioned to any one, and unsuspected by the person who caused the pain she endured-had been schooled into such a condition as she could not very likely have imagined possible a score of months since, before her misfortunes had begun.
She had oldened in that time as people do who suffer silently great mental pain; and learned much that she had never suspected before. She was taught by that bitter teacher Misfortune. A child, the mother of other children, but two years back her lord was a G.o.d to her; his words her law; his smile her sunshine; his lazy commonplaces listened to eagerly, as if they were words of wisdom-all his wishes and freaks obeyed with a servile devotion.
She had been my lord"s chief slave and blind worshipper. Some women bear farther than this, and submit not only to neglect but to unfaithfulness too-but here this lady"s allegiance had failed her. Her spirit rebelled and disowned any more obedience. First she had to bear in secret the pa.s.sion of losing the adored object; then to get a farther initiation, and to find this worshipped being was but a clumsy idol: then to admit the silent truth, that it was she was superior, and not the monarch her master: that she had thoughts which his brains could never master, and was the better of the two; quite separate from my lord although tied to him, and bound as almost all people (save a very happy few) to work all her life alone. My lord sat in his chair, laughing his laugh, cracking his joke, his face flushing with wine-my lady in her place over against him-he never suspecting that his superior was there, in the calm resigned lady, cold of manner, with downcast eyes. When he was merry in his cups, he would make jokes about her coldness, and, "D-- it, now my lady is gone, we will have t"other bottle," he would say. He was frank enough in telling his thoughts, such as they were. There was little mystery about my lord"s words or actions. His fair Rosamond did not live in a labyrinth, like the lady of Mr. Addison"s opera, but paraded with painted cheeks and a tipsy retinue in the country town. Had she a mind to be revenged, Lady Castlewood could have found the way to her rival"s house easily enough; and, if she had come with bowl and dagger, would have been routed off the ground by the enemy with a volley of Billingsgate, which the fair person always kept by her.
Meanwhile, it has been said, that for Harry Esmond his benefactress"s sweet face had lost none of its charms. It had always the kindest of looks and smiles for him-smiles, not so gay and artless perhaps as those which Lady Castlewood had formerly worn, when, a child herself, playing with her children, her husband"s pleasure and authority were all she thought of; but out of her griefs and cares, as will happen I think when these trials fall upon a kindly heart, and are not too unbearable, grew up a number of thoughts and excellences which had never come into existence, had not her sorrow and misfortunes engendered them. Sure, occasion is the father of most that is good in us. As you have seen the awkward fingers and clumsy tools of a prisoner cut and fashion the most delicate little pieces of carved work; or achieve the most prodigious underground labours, and cut through walls of masonry, and saw iron bars and fetters; "tis misfortune that awakens ingenuity, or fort.i.tude, or endurance, in hearts where these qualities had never come to life but for the circ.u.mstance which gave them a being.
""Twas after Jason left her, no doubt," Lady Castlewood once said with one of her smiles to young Esmond (who was reading to her a version of certain lines out of Euripides), "that Medea became a learned woman and a great enchantress."
"And she could conjure the stars out of heaven," the young tutor added, "but she could not bring Jason back again."
"What do you mean?" asked my lady, very angry.
"Indeed I mean nothing," said the other, "save what I"ve read in books.
What should I know about such matters? I have seen no woman save you and little Beatrix, and the parson"s wife and my late mistress, and your ladyship"s woman here."
"The men who wrote your books," says my lady, "your Horaces, and Ovids, and Virgils, as far as I know of them, all thought ill of us, as all the heroes they wrote about used us basely. We were bred to be slaves always; and even of our own times, as you are still the only lawgivers, I think our sermons seem to say that the best woman is she who bears her master"s chains most gracefully. "Tis a pity there are no nunneries permitted by our Church: Beatrix and I would fly to one, and end our days in peace there away from you."
"And is there no slavery in a convent?" says Esmond.
"At least if women are slaves there, no one sees them," answered the lady.
"They don"t work in street-gangs with the public to jeer them: and if they suffer, suffer in private. Here comes my lord home from hunting. Take away the books. My lord does not love to see them. Lessons are over for to-day, Mr. Tutor." And with a curtsy and a smile she would end this sort of colloquy.
Indeed "Mr. Tutor", as my lady called Esmond, had now business enough on his hands in Castlewood House. He had three pupils, his lady and her two children, at whose lessons she would always be present; besides writing my lord"s letters, and arranging his accompts for him-when these could be got from Esmond"s indolent patron.
Of the pupils the two young people were but lazy scholars, and as my lady would admit no discipline such as was then in use, my lord"s son only learned what he liked, which was but little, and never to his life"s end could be got to construe more than six lines of Virgil. Mistress Beatrix chattered French prettily from a very early age; and sang sweetly, but this was from her mother"s teaching-not Harry Esmond"s, who could scarce distinguish between "Green Sleeves" and "Lillabullero"; although he had no greater delight in life than to hear the ladies sing. He sees them now (will he ever forget them?) as they used to sit together of the summer evenings-the two golden heads over the page-the child"s little hand and the mother"s beating the time, with their voices rising and falling in unison.
But if the children were careless, "twas a wonder how eagerly the mother learned from her young tutor-and taught him too. The happiest instinctive faculty was this lady"s-a faculty for discerning latent beauties and hidden graces of books, especially books of poetry, as in a walk she would spy out field-flowers and make posies of them, such as no other hand could. She was a critic not by reason but by feeling; the sweetest commentator of those books they read together; and the happiest hours of young Esmond"s life, perhaps, were those pa.s.sed in the company of this kind mistress and her children.
These happy days were to end soon, however; and it was by the Lady Castlewood"s own decree that they were brought to a conclusion. It happened about Christmastime, Harry Esmond being now past sixteen years of age, that his old comrade, adversary, and friend, Tom Tusher, returned from his school in London, a fair, well-grown, and st.u.r.dy lad, who was about to enter college, with an exhibition from his school, and a prospect of after promotion in the Church. Tom Tusher"s talk was of nothing but Cambridge, now; and the boys, who were good friends, examined each other eagerly about their progress in books. Tom had learned some Greek and Hebrew, besides Latin, in which he was pretty well skilled, and also had given himself to mathematical studies under his father"s guidance, who was a proficient in those sciences, of which Esmond knew nothing, nor could he write Latin so well as Tom, though he could talk it better, having been taught by his dear friend the Jesuit father, for whose memory the lad ever retained the warmest affection, reading his books, keeping his swords clean in the little crypt where the father had shown them to Esmond on the night of his visit; and often of a night sitting in the chaplain"s room, which he inhabited, over his books, his verses, and rubbish, with which the lad occupied himself, he would look up at the window, thinking he wished it might open and let in the good father. He had come and pa.s.sed away like a dream; but for the swords and books Harry might almost think the father was an imagination of his mind-and for two letters which had come to him, one from abroad full of advice and affection, another soon after he had been confirmed by the Bishop of Hexton, in which Father Holt deplored his falling away. But Harry Esmond felt so confident now of his being in the right, and of his own powers as a casuist, that he thought he was able to face the father himself in argument, and possibly convert him.
To work upon the faith of her young pupil, Esmond"s kind mistress sent to the library of her father the dean, who had been distinguished in the disputes of the late king"s reign; and, an old soldier now, had hung up his weapons of controversy. These he took down from his shelves willingly for young Esmond, whom he benefited by his own personal advice and instruction. It did not require much persuasion to induce the boy to worship with his beloved mistress. And the good old nonjuring dean flattered himself with a conversion which in truth was owing to a much gentler and fairer persuader.
Under her ladyship"s kind eyes (my lord"s being sealed in sleep pretty generally), Esmond read many volumes of the works of the famous British divines of the last age, and was familiar with Wake and Sherlock, with Stillingfleet and Patrick. His mistress never tired to listen or to read, to pursue the text with fond comments, to urge those points which her fancy dwelt on most, or her reason deemed most important. Since the death of her father the dean, this lady hath admitted a certain lat.i.tude of theological reading, which her orthodox father would never have allowed; his favourite writers appealing more to reason and antiquity than to the pa.s.sions or imaginations of their readers, so that the works of Bishop Taylor, nay, those of Mr. Baxter and Mr. Law, have in reality found more favour with my Lady Castlewood than the severer volumes of our great English schoolmen.
In later life, at the University, Esmond reopened the controversy, and pursued it in a very different manner, when his patrons had determined for him that he was to embrace the ecclesiastical life. But though his mistress"s heart was in this calling, his own never was much. After that first fervour of simple devotion, which his beloved Jesuit priest had inspired in him, speculative theology took but little hold upon the young man"s mind. When his early credulity was disturbed, and his saints and virgins taken out of his worship, to rank little higher than the divinities of Olympus, his belief became acquiescence rather than ardour; and he made his mind up to a.s.sume the ca.s.sock and bands, as another man does to wear a breastplate and jack-boots, or to mount a merchant"s desk for a livelihood, and from obedience and necessity, rather than from choice. There were scores of such men in Mr. Esmond"s time at the Universities, who were going to the Church with no better calling than his.