If he hadn"t given her the time he would be landing, if he hadn"t told her he would be calling, if he hadn"t been so sappy about saying how much he missed her, it wouldn"t seem so strange that she wasn"t home. But, having told her all those things, he had the uncontrollable suspicion that something was wrong.
Unless she"d come to the same conclusions he had. Starting a relationship had been a mistake.
That had to be it.
Relief swamped him. He didn"t want another relationship. Ever. And Grace was too nice a girl to have the kind of fling that ended when their s.e.xual feelings for each other fizzled and they both eagerly walked away.
It was better for it to end now.
Content that not only had Grace nicely disengaged their relationship, but also that he probably wouldn"t run into her in the halls because their positions in the company and the building were so far apart, he went to work happy. But his secretary buzzed him around ten-thirty, telling him Grace was in the outer office, asking if he had time for her.
Sure. Why not? Now that he"d settled everything in his head, he could handle a debriefing. They"d probably both laugh about the mistake.
He tossed his pencil to the stack of papers in front of him. "Send her in."
He steeled himself, knowing that even though his brain had easily resolved their situation, his body might not so easily agree. Seeing her would undoubtedly evoke lots of physical response, if only because she was beautiful. He remembered that part very, very well.
His office door opened and she stepped inside. Danny almost groaned at his loss. She was every bit as stunning as he remembered. Her dark hair framed her face and complemented her skin tone. Her little pink suit showed off her great legs. But he wasn"t meant for relationships and she wasn"t meant for affairs. Getting out now while they could get out without too much difficulty was the right thing to do.
"Good morning, Grace."
She smiled. "Good morning."
He pointed at the chair in front of his desk, indicating she should sit. "Look, I know what you"re going to say. Being away for a week gave me some perspective, too, and I agree we made a mistake the night we slept together."
"What?"
Confused, he c.o.c.ked his head. "I thought you were here to tell me we"d made a mistake."
Holding the arms of the captain"s chair in front of his desk, she finally sat. "I came in to invite you to dinner."
He sat back on his chair, knowing this could potentially be one of the worst conversations of his life. "I"m sorry. When you weren"t home last night when I called, I just a.s.sumed you"d changed your mind."
"I was at my mother"s."
"I called your cell phone."
She took a breath. "And by the time I realized I"d hadn"t turned it on after I took it off the charger, it was too late for me to call you back." She took another breath and smiled hopefully. "That"s why I came to your office."
He picked up his pencil again. Nervously tapped it on the desk. "I"m sorry. Really. But-" This time he took the breath, giving himself a chance to organize his thoughts. "I genuinely believe we shouldn"t have slept together, and I really don"t want to see you anymore. I don"t have relationships with employees."
He caught her gaze. "I"m sorry."
That seemed to catch her off guard. She blinked several times, but her face didn"t crumble as he expected it would if she were about to cry. To his great relief, her chin lifted. "That"s fine."
Pleased that she seemed to be taking this well-probably because his point was a valid one-bosses and employees shouldn"t date-he rose. "Do you want the day off or something?"
She swallowed and wouldn"t meet his gaze. She said, "I"m fine," then turned and walked out of his office.
Danny fell to his seat, feeling like a cla.s.s-A heel. He had hurt her and she was going to cry.
Grace managed to get through the day with only one crying spurt in the bathroom right after coming out of Danny"s office. She didn"t see him the next day or the next or at all for the next two weeks. Just when she had accepted that her world hadn"t been destroyed because he didn"t want her or because she"d slept with him, she realized something awful. Her female cycle was as regular as clockwork, so when things didn"t happen on the day they were supposed to happen, she knew something was wrong.
Though she and Danny had used condoms, they weren"t perfect. She bought an early pregnancy test and discovered her intuition had been correct. She had gotten pregnant.
She sat on the bed in the master suite of her little house. The room was awash with warm colors: cognac, paprika, b.u.t.ter-yellow in satin pillows, lush drapes and a smooth silk bedspread. But she didn"t feel any warmth as she stared at the results of the EPT. She had just gotten pregnant by a man who had told her he wanted nothing to do with her.
She swallowed hard and began to pace the honey-yellow hardwood floors of the bedroom she"d scrimped, saved and labored to refinish. Technically she had a great job and a good enough income that she could raise a child alone. Money wasn"t her problem. And neither was becoming a mother. She was twenty-four, ready to be a mom. Excited actually.
Except Danny didn"t want her. She might survive telling him, but she still worked for him. Soon everybody at his company would know she was pregnant. Anybody with a memory could do the math and realize when she"d gotten pregnant and speculate the baby might be Danny"s since they"d spent a weekend together.
He couldn"t run away from this and neither could she.
She took a deep breath, then another, and another, to calm herself.
Everything would be fine if she didn"t panic and handled this properly. She didn"t have to tell Danny right away that she was pregnant. She could wait until enough time had pa.s.sed that he would see she wasn"t trying to force anything from him. Plus, until her pregnancy was showing, she didn"t have to tell anybody but Danny. In six or seven months the people she worked with wouldn"t necessarily connect her pregnancy with the weekend she and Danny together. They could get out of this with a minimum of fuss.
That made so much sense that Grace easily fell asleep that night, but the next morning she woke up dizzy, still exhausted and with an unholy urge to vomit. On Sat.u.r.day morning, she did vomit. Sunday morning, she couldn"t get out of bed. Tired, nauseated and dizzy beyond belief, she couldn"t hide her symptoms from anybody. Which meant that by Monday afternoon, everybody would guess something was up, and she had no choice but to tell Danny first thing in the morning that she was pregnant. If she didn"t, he would find out by way of a rumor, and she couldn"t let that happen.
Grace arrived at work an hour early on Monday. Danny was already in his office but his secretary had not yet arrived. As soon as he was settled, she knocked on the frame of his open door.
He looked up. "Grace?"
"Do you have a minute?"
"Not really, I have a meeting-"
"This won"t take long." She drank a huge gulp of air and pushed forward because there was no point in dillydallying. "I"m pregnant."
For thirty seconds, Danny sat motionless. Grace felt every breath she drew as the tension in the room increased with each second that pa.s.sed.
Finally he very quietly said, "Get out."
"We need to talk about this."
"Talk about this? Oh, no! I won"t give credence to your scheme by even gracing you with ten minutes to try to convince me you"re pregnant!"
"Scheme?"
"Don"t play innocent with me. Telling the man who broke up with you that you"re pregnant is the oldest trick in the book. If you think I"m falling for it, you"re insane."
Grace hadn"t expected this would be an easy conversation, but for some reason or another she had expected it to be fair. The Danny she remembered from the beach house might have been shocked, but he would have at least given her a chance to talk.
"I"m not insane. I am pregnant."
"I told you to get out."
"This isn"t going to go away because you don"t believe me."
"Grace, I said leave."
His voice was hard and cold and his office fell deadly silent. Knowing there was no talking to him in that state and hoping that after she gave him a few hours for her announcement to sink in he might be more amenable to discussing it, Grace did as he asked. She left his office with her head high, controlling the tears that welled behind her eyelids.
The insult of his reaction tightened her chest and she marched straight to her desk. She yanked open the side drawer, withdrew her purse and walked out of the building as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to do. When she got into her car, she dropped her head to her steering wheel and let the tears fall.
Eventually it would be obvious she hadn"t lied. But having Danny call her a schemer was the absolute worst experience she"d ever had.
Partially because he believed it. He believed she would trick him.
Grace"s cheeks heated from a sudden rush of indignation.
It was as if he didn"t know her at all-or she didn"t know him at all.
Or maybe they didn"t know each other.
She started her car and headed home. She needed the day to recover from that scene, but also as sick as she was she couldn"t go back to work until she and Danny had talked this out. Pretty soon everybody would guess what had happened. If nothing else, they had to do damage control. There were lots of decisions that had to be made. So when she got home she would call her supervisor, explain she"d gotten sick and that she might be out a few days. Then she and Danny would resolve this away from the office.
Because she had written down his home number and cell number when he left the message on her answering machine the Sunday night he"d returned from his business trip, Grace called both his house and his cell that night.
He didn"t answer.
She gave him forty-eight hours and called Thursday morning before he would leave for work. Again, no answer.
A little more nervous now, she gave him another forty-eight hours and called Sat.u.r.day morning. No answer.
She called Monday night. No answer.
And she got the message. He wasn"t going to pick up her calls.
But by that time she had something a little more serious to handle. She couldn"t get well. Amazed that she"d even been able to go to work the Monday of her encounter with Danny, she spent her days in bed, until, desperate for help and advice, she told her mother that she was pregnant and sicker than she believed was normal. They made a quick gynecologist appointment and her doctor told her that she was simply enduring extreme morning sickness.
Too worried about her baby to risk the stress of dealing with Danny, Grace put off calling him. Her life settled into a simple routine of forcing herself out of bed, at least to the couch in her living room, but that was as far as she got, and watching TV all day, as her mother fussed over her.
Knowing the bonus she"d received for her weekend with Orlando would support her through her pregnancy if she were frugal, she quit her job. Swearing her immediate supervisor to secrecy in their final phone conversation, she confided that she was pregnant and having troubles, though she didn"t name the baby"s father. And she slid out of Carson Services as if she"d never been there.
She nearly called Danny in March, right before the baby was born, but, again, didn"t have the strength to handle the complexities of their situation. Even though he would be forced to believe she hadn"t lied, he might still see her as a cheat. Someone who had tricked him. She didn"t know how to explain that she hadn"t, and after nine months of "morning sickness" she didn"t give a d.a.m.n. A man who behaved the way he had wasn"t her perfect partner. His money didn"t make him the special prize he seemed to believe he was. It was smarter to focus on the joy of becoming a mother, the joy of having a child, than to think about a guy so hurt by his divorce that he couldn"t believe anything anyone told him.
When Sarah was born everything suddenly changed. No longer sick and now responsible for a child, Grace focused on finding a job. Happily she found one that paid nearly double what she"d been making at Carson Services. Because her parents had moved into her house to help while she was pregnant, she surprised them by buying the little bungalow down the street. Her mother wanted to baby-sit while Grace worked. Her dad could keep up both lawns. And the mortgage on the new house for her parents was small.
Busy and happy, Grace didn"t really think about Danny and before she knew it, it was September and Sarah was six months old. Everything from baby-sitting to pediatrician appointments was taken care of. Everyone in her little family was very happy.
And Grace wondered why she would want to tell Danny at all.
But holding Sarah that night she realized that this situation wasn"t about her and Danny anymore. It was about Sarah. Every little girl had a right to know her daddy.
The following Sat.u.r.day evening, Grace found herself craning her neck, straining to read the small sophisticated street signs in the development that contained Danny"s house. It hadn"t been hard to find his address. Convincing herself to get in the car and drive over had been harder. Ultimately she"d come to terms with it not for Danny"s sake, but for Sarah"s. If Grace didn"t at least give Danny the chance to be a dad, then she was no better than he was.
She located his street, turned onto it and immediately saw his house. Simple stone, accented by huge multi-paned windows, his house boasted a three-car garage and s.p.a.ce. Not only was the structure itself huge, but beyond the fence that Grace a.s.sumed protected a swimming pool, beautiful green gra.s.s seemed to stretch forever before it met a wall of trees. Compared to her tiny bungalow, his home was a palace.
She parked her little red car in his driveway, got out and reached into the back seat to unbuckle Sarah. Opting not to put her in a baby carrier, Grace pulled her from the car and settled her on her arm.
Holding her squirming baby and bulky diaper bag, she strode up the stone front walk to Danny"s door, once again noting the differences in their lifestyles personified by decorative black lantern light fixtures and perfect landscaping.
Grace shook her head, trying to stop the obvious conclusion from forming, but she couldn"t. She and Danny were different. Too difference to be together. Why hadn"t she recognized that? He probably had. That"s why he"d told her he didn"t want to see her. They weren"t made for each other. Not even close. And he"d now had fifteen months to forget her. She could have to explain the entire situation again, and then face another horrible scene.
Still, as much as she dreaded this meeting, and as much as she would prefer to raise Sarah on her own, she knew it wasn"t fair for Sarah to never know her father. She also knew Danny should have the option to be part of his daughter"s life. If he again chose not to believe Grace when she told him Sarah was his child, then so be it. She wouldn"t beg him to be a father to their baby. She wouldn"t demand DNA testing to force him in. If he wanted a DNA test, she would comply, but as far as she was concerned, she was the one doing him the favor. If he didn"t wish to acknowledge his child or be a part of Sarah"s life that was his decision. She wasn"t going to get upset or let him hurt her again. If he said he wanted no part of her or her baby, this time Grace and Sarah would leave him alone for good.
Again without giving herself a chance to think, she rang the doorbell. Waiting for someone to answer, she glanced around at his ma.s.sive home, then wished she hadn"t. How could she have ever thought she belonged with someone who lived in this part of the city?
The door opened and suddenly she was face-to-face with the father of her child. Though it was Sat.u.r.day he wore dress slacks and a white shirt, but his collar was unb.u.t.toned and his tie loosened. He looked relaxed and comfortable and was even smiling.
Then his eyes darkened, his smile disappeared and his gaze dropped to Sarah, and Grace realized he remembered who she was.
She took a breath. "Can we come in?"
The expression in his eyes changed, darkening even more, reminding Grace of a building storm cloud. For the twenty seconds that he remained stonily silent, she was positive he would turn her away. For those same twenty seconds, with his dark eyes condemning her, she fervently wished he would.
But without saying a word, he pulled open his door and stepped aside so she could enter.
"Thank you." She walked into the echoing foyer of his big house, fully expecting this to be the worst evening of her life.
CHAPTER FOUR.
AS GRACE brushed by Danny, a band of pain tightened his chest. At first he thought the contraction was a result of his anger with Grace, fury that she"d continued with her pregnancy scheme. He wondered how she intended to get around DNA since he would most certainly require the test, then he actually looked at the baby in her arms, a little girl if the pink one-piece pajamas were any indication. She appeared to be about six months old-the age their baby would be if he had gotten Grace pregnant that Sunday night at his beach house. More than that, though, the baby looked exactly as Cory had when he was six months old.
Danny stood frozen, unable to do anything but stare at the chubby child in Grace"s arms. Suddenly the baby smiled at him. Her plump lips lifted. Her round blue eyes filled with laughter. She made a happy gurgling sound that caused playful spit bubbles to gather at the corners of her mouth. She looked so much like Cory it was as if Danny had been unceremoniously flung back in time.
Feeling faint, he pointed down the corridor. "There"s a den at the end of the hall. Would you please wait for me there?"
Grace caught his gaze with her pretty violet eyes and everything inside of Danny stilled. In a hodgepodge of pictures and words, he remembered bits and pieces of both the weekend they"d spent together with Orlando and the morning he"d kicked her out of his office-wrongly if his a.s.sumptions about the baby were correct. In his mind"s eye, he saw Grace laughing with Orlando, working with him, making him comfortable. He remembered her soft and giving in his arms. He remembered her trembling when she told him she was pregnant, and then he remembered nothing but anger. He hadn"t given her a chance to explain or even a sliver of benefit of the doubt. He"d instantly a.s.sumed her "pregnancy" was a ruse and wouldn"t hear another word.
"I don"t think we want to be interrupted," he said, grasping for any excuse that would give him two minutes to come to terms with some of this before he had to talk to her. "So I need to instruct my housekeeper that we"re to be left alone."
She pressed her lips together, nodded and headed down the hall. Once Danny saw her turn into the den, he collapsed on the bottom step of the spiral staircase in his foyer and dropped his head to his hands.
They were shaking. His knees felt like rubber. Pain ricocheted through him and he squeezed his eyes shut. In vivid detail, he saw Cory"s birth, his first birthday party, and every Christmas they"d had together. He remembered his giggle. He remembered his endless questions as he grew from a toddler into a little boy. He remembered how he loved garbage trucks and mailmen.
Pain overwhelmed him as he relived every second of the best and worst six years of his life and then realized he could very well go through it all again. The first birthday. Laughing, happy Christmases. Questions and curiosities. And pain. One day he was a doting dad and the next he was living alone, without even the possibility of seeing his son again.