He watches her getting into the cab with Yamas.h.i.+na Chiyo. Why is he still watching her like this? The cab disappears from his sight. He can"t seem to find the energy to start his car. Iori"s words keep echoing in his mind. Did she really think of him that way? Although, it makes sense. His brother was her first love. For years, she talked to him about his brother. He had always known that she liked his brother.
She doesn"t think much of him. He"s just trash in her eyes. That"s what she always thought about him.
Was she always like this? There were moments when he wondered if he made the wrong decision that day. His elder brother and sister-in-law tried to talk to him, but he didn"t want to admit. There were also those moments when his decision seemed right.
He accelerates the car, speeding up while gazing at the road with a distant look. Unconsciously, he finds himself on the road that leads to Iori"s home.
Why did he come here? He wants to get away from her. Maybe he should leave this country. He wants to go somewhere far away. He"s tired. He tried to get over it, but seeing her today have destroyed the mask of his false tranquillity. He doesn"t want to think about her at all. He doesn"t want his heart to react. He doesn"t want this pain. Why is he affected by her words? Why does it matter if she thinks that he"s trash?
He turns the car around abruptly. He widens his eyes when he sees the motorbike speeding in his direction. He turns his steering wheel to avoid the bike. Just when he takes a breath of relief, another car slams into him. The car skids off the road, hitting the railings.
"He heard everything," Iori mumbles to herself. Was he hurt? He didn"t appear affected at all as if it didn"t matter what she thought of him. He didn"t retaliate or smack her head. He didn"t even glare at her. He was cold and aloof. Who is this man? He has changed so much that she can"t recognize him at all. Though they were standing in the same room, the distance between them is so large. If she takes a step, he will turn his back and disappear.
"It"s good." Iori turns to her right on the bed, staring at the wall. "There is nothing between us anyway. It doesn"t matter whether he heard it or not. He already hates me. He will hate me a little more now. He probably despises me to death. It was better if I never came back to this city."
Everything went bad after she took that interview. She doesn"t regret taking it, but she can"t ignore the fact that her life has turned upside down. One by one, everything went away. First, her friends.h.i.+p with Takes.h.i.+ met an end. Things with Haru aren"t the same either. Without Takes.h.i.+, it doesn"t feel the same. She also left the job that she wanted so much. She doesn"t even believe in the naive things that she used to believe. Fairytale love? She chuckles. Love has been hurting her so far.
When they were younger, things were simple. When they fought, they would argue to death. There were times when they stopped talking, but they always patched up. Crying was also easy back then. Crying made her feel better back then. Crying used to lighten her heart back then. Now, she feels miserable when she feels the hot tears rolling out of her eyes.
As the tears lose their warmth and become cold on her cheeks, she realises that she"s been taking a lot of things for granted. She misses the days when they could say things without hurting each other. Yes, there were days when pride didn"t matter. If things were the same between Takes.h.i.+ and her, she wouldn"t have said those words. Even if she did, he wouldn"t have remained quiet. Most likely, he would have jeered at her and said words that would have infuriated her. They might have fought again, but parting didn"t mean that they became strangers. One of them would have surrendered or they would have started talking again as if nothing happened. Everything changed after Takes.h.i.+"s confession. Now, their relations.h.i.+p has broken. It can never go back to the way it was.
She still doesn"t regret taking Umezaki Rie"s Interview. She regrets laughing when Takes.h.i.+ told her that he loved her. Only if she hadn"t laughed, things might have been different. Only if she had acted a little wiser back then, things might have been different. Only if she understood her feelings toward him back then, things might have been different.
"It can"t be changed." Iori closes her eyes. "He hates me and I am too tired of this."
They aren"t meant to be. If seeing him again means getting hurt again, she doesn"t want to come across him ever again.
Enough! She won"t be sad anymore. Who cries over a boy? He"s an idiot anyway. It"s his loss. She"s totally a catch. It"s his loss.
She"s going to sleep.
After some time, she sighs. She still can"t sleep. She sits up. If she can"t sleep, she should work anyway. However, her heart is aggravated. It"s four in the morning. She opens the app. No one is online. Takes.h.i.+"s nephew still sends her texts. He even sent his siblings" pictures. Iori smiles when she sees them. Aerie has fit into the family as if she always belonged to it. There are a few pictures of Takes.h.i.+ with the siblings. He looks happy.
She wonders if Takes.h.i.+ is still blocking her. She still remembers his number. He told her cousin to text him after they have reached home. Her cousin went to bed straight after coming home. She should text him. It"s not that she wants to talk to him. She is just informing him that they have reached home on her cousin"s behalf.
She finds his account. So, she"s not blocked anymore. When did he lift his ban on her? She smiles. He must be asleep right now. She sends him a short text.
[We reached home. Thanks for helping my cousin.]
She puts away the phone and lies down on the bed.
Will he reply?
Did he see her message though? She checks the phone again. It"s too early in the morning. He won"t see it now.
She shuts her eyes again.
Sleep!
Why can"t she sleep? Why is she still thinking about him?
"Argh!" She picks up her phone again. Takes.h.i.+ hasn"t read the text. "Even if he was a stranger, I would have apologized."
[Takes.h.i.+, I am sorry. I didn"t mean those words. You know that, right? I was a little angry. I don"t think that way about you. If you can stop being a douche, we can become friends again. Want to meet for a drink? I will treat you.]
What the h.e.l.l did she type? Iori deletes the text. She has to apologise for saying those words today. Why did she say that she wants to become friends again? Did she ask him out on a date?
"I am so shameless." She glares at the phone. "Even if I apologise, he won"t listen to me."
She should still apologise.
[I am sorry. I still love you. Do you want to meet?]
She deletes it again. Did she lose her mind? Why did she write that she still loves him? Who loves that stubborn bull-b.u.t.t? Why are her fingers not listening to her? Whenever she types a text, she is writing nonsense.
When her phone rings, she is startled. Who is calling her so early in the morning?
"Kawamoto-san?"
[Iori, Takes.h.i.+ had an accident.]