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Chapter 69

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Pregnant . Miscarriage .

I take a breath . I have this suffocating feeling in my heart . My unborn child would have been a little more than a year old . My child could be learning to walk at this time . I wonder how my baby would have laughed when I held him in my arms? Was it a girl or a boy?

I feel like my child died in my place and gave me life .

If it"s this difficult to accept the story after hearing it, how much difficult it will be to remember it? Will I be able to live if I remember?

I turn on my side . I am afraid of remembering now . My father had a haunted look when he was telling me about my past . I can only imagine how I might have been . My mind was broken by someone else . I recall what my father told me .

"One of your bully names was Takeuchi Miwako . Your kidnapper might have been your other bully, the woman behind Takeuchi Miwako . It"s not confirmed yet . "

That person is still roaming free in this city after taking my child away from me .

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But who is the father of the child? I can"t get pregnant on my own .

I remember Ichihara Kiyos.h.i.+"s words .

"My wish is that the woman I love never remembers me and her nightmares . "

That man . . . is it him? That explains why he was acting strangely . Was he talking about me? I am the woman he loves? I don"t have my memories . I sound like the woman he loves .

Or is it my first love who was also my best friend? I haven"t met him, but I want to meet him again .

Or is it someone else? What kind of life did I lead?

I am a bit embarra.s.sed to ask my father that question . I am still a girl . I got pregnant before marriage . Who can tell me? Ah, yes! There is that person . He might know .

I knock the door of Yuhara"s room . He opens it after the fifth knock, looking half asleep . "Umezaki san, why are you here?"


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I push him inside and lock the room . He widens his eyes . "Umezaki san, I know that you are upset . But, we can"t do it . Professor Umezaki will stir fry me if I touch you . "

I stare at him . "Yuhara Kun, your imagination is wild . "

He covers his chest with his arms . "We are at a hotel . You are in my room . "
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"I want to ask you something . " I ignore his fidgeting . "You have been there when my father found me, right?"

"What are you saying?" His expression turns serious .

"My father told me everything . "

"Oh . " He sits beside me . "You have questions that you can"t ask him . "


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I ask, "Who was the father of my unborn child?"

He doesn"t answer me for some time .

"Tell me what you know . " I look at him seriously . "Is it Ichihara Kiyos.h.i.+ or my first love?"


He returns my gaze . "When I met you, your mind was already broken . Your first love is redhead . . . No, His name is Ren . He stayed beside you all the time . He took care of you . But, it seemed like you were dating him for the first time . I heard that he was pretending to be your boyfriend . That day, you kissed him in the car . I ran away when I saw it . I don"t know what happened . Later, I saw the kidnappers . They injected poison in his body and took you away . "

He looks away . "Ren was saved . He stayed at the hospital for a while . We faked your death to keep you safe from the unknown perpetrator . Ren and Kiyohira promised to never disturb your new life for your safety . They kept their promises . "

"Who is Kiyohira?" I don"t recognize that name .

Yuhara Kozue sighs . "Ichihara Kiyos.h.i.+ is Kamiyama Kiyohira . He decided to hide his name because you reacted violently whenever you saw him or heard his name . The professor introduced him as his student to you . You wouldn"t believe him back then, but you were easing up around Kamiyama Kiyohira . I don"t know what happened between the two of you, but I know that he"s been love with you . "

"My wish is that the woman I love never remembers me and her nightmares . "

I finally understand the meaning of the words that he said to me at the temple .

Is it him? By any chance, did I love him too?

"Who is the father? I don"t think that even your father knows . He didn"t ask many questions and took you away to keep you safe . Your father wants you to live a normal life . If possible, he wants you to never remember your past for the sake of your life . "

Ren . Kamiyama Kiyohira . My father .

"Was it really bad when my mind was broken, Yuhara?" I whisper . "If I remember, will I become like that again?"

There is mine ready to blast in the back of my mind . Something is keeping it from breaking everything apart . I am afraid to remember .

"You might become like that again . You might become worse if you remember . " He tells me with a straightforward voice, "If you overcome your fear and confront it, you might come out as a stronger person . "

He"s right . Running away isn"t the answer . There is a person who owes me a lot . I need to find her to pay me back . I don"t know when my memories come . I will not wait . Before she comes to me, I will find her first . I am not hiding from that crazy bully who killed my child .

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