"No, it"s a fact, and I"ll prove it to you by introducing to your kind attention Mr Pudbrook, the editor of _Happy Homes_. He somewhat interferes with your profession by giving remedies for black-heads and indigestion in his paper on alternate weeks. But don"t let that prejudice you against him."
Certainly, the "lot" to which Sir Edwin referred looked strange enough in their present _entourage_. Mr Timbs wore a complete suit of black broadcloth, alleviated by new brown shoes, white socks, and a very large crimson silk handkerchief. His expression combined curiously the confident and the furtive. Those in his immediate neighbourhood were conscious of a blended fragrance of benzine and yellow soap. A white-faced woman with big eyes, severely uniformed, was in conversation with him, and Mr Timbs was choosing his language with unusual care. Miss Edith Stunt, the Suffragette, had faced meetings in Trafalgar Square, and had nothing more to fear. Her fanatical eyes looked round eagerly for an opportunity to say a good word. At present Duncan Garth was talking to Mrs Gust, a nicely-dressed lady, slightly mad. The death of her husband under treatment had not shaken her faith in Christian Science, any more than his life had shaken her belief in matrimony.
Garth himself had discovered her, and had directed that she should be of the party.
Miss Vera Paul, the manicurist, was talking to Ferguson. She was a remarkably pretty girl, but there were many others who wished to speak to Ferguson. He handed her over to Mrs Pringle, and promised her that she should be next to him at luncheon. The Unconquerable Belgian bore down on Ferguson, carrying in his hand a copy of the menu, with which Ferguson had thoughtfully provided him. He tapped it with a heavy finger and said plaintively: "You excuse me. I cannot eat moch this food."
Ferguson"s suggestion of a porter-house steak was accepted. At the same moment Timbs approached him with care, as of one who stalked big game.
"You"ll keep your eye on me, sir," said Timbs. "You told me it was strite, and it"s to you I looks. I don"t want to do anything I didn"t ought."
"My dear chap," said Ferguson, with candour, "we want you to do the things you didn"t ought."
Timbs would have pursued the conversation, but he was put aside by Miss Edith Stunt, who wished to know if she would have an opportunity to say a few words to the company. And she was put aside by Harriet Stokes, who wished to know if she could send round a collecting-card. And Harriet Stokes was obliterated by Mr Pudbrook, who wished to know if he could get a few words on private business with Mr Garth.
Then came the arrival of the last guest. Mr Eustace Richards made a splendid entrance; he was a quarter of an hour late and gracefully apologetic. "An unexpected rehearsal, my dear fellow," he said to Garth in a clearly-articulated whisper that carried to every part of the room, "Royal command for next Friday. Quite unexpected. Gratifying, eh?"
The big folding-doors opened. Ferguson flew around with his plan of the table, showing people where they were to sit. So far Mr Eustace Richards had hardly glanced at the company. He did not look much at the audience when he was acting, and he was almost always acting. But now he murmured to Garth: "My dear fellow, you warned me--but what have you done?"
"Don"t quite know yet," said Garth, drily.
Mr Ferguson had his own little suite of rooms at the house in Park Lane.
He dined at his club that night, and was back again by nine o"clock to check once more some figures of considerable importance. The work only took him a few minutes, and he was just finishing it when Duncan Garth entered, wearing the dinner-jacket and black tie of the domestic life.
"Hallo!" said Ferguson. "Thought you were dining at the Silchesters"."
"So I was," said Garth, dejectedly, "but I didn"t." He selected a cigar from his secretary"s cabinet.
"Cheaper for you, anyhow," said Ferguson. "His Grace meant to borrow money to-night."
"I"m not a fool," said Garth, wearily, "and I"m not lending money to the Duke of Silchester. How did you think it went this afternoon?"
"What? The lunch? Of course it was very, very funny."
"Or slightly tragic," said Garth, as he took an easy-chair. "Put people into new circ.u.mstances and you can always judge them. I"ve got a low opinion of the human race to-night, Fergy."
"But there were nice points," said Ferguson. "I like the self-centred, complete indifference of our friend Renard. He"s a headless Hercules. I mean, his head is the only thing against him. It"s a loss, too, that is easily excused. You saw how Lady Longsh.o.r.e, and Mrs Pringle, and Colonel Harriet Stokes of the Salvation Army were anxious to please that lump of beef."
"Of course I saw it. That"s one of the reasons why I call the thing a tragedy. By the way, you can go over our list and draw a line through the Archdeacon and his wife."
"Certainly," said Ferguson. "Might one ask why?"
"Because I hate the type," said Garth. "Miss Bostock"s father was a curate, had been at college with the Archdeacon, and knew him fairly well. Mrs Pringle snubbed Miss Bostock. She was afraid she could not remember all the curates that her husband might have happened to meet.
She also snubbed Pudbrook. When she saw the nature of the party she would have left but for Lady Longsh.o.r.e, who, to do her credit, does not care one curse about anybody on this earth or elsewhere. She was almost affectionate to Timbs when Lady Longsh.o.r.e repeated his stories. She was quite nice to your manicurist girl. She recognised the charm of the Unconquerable Belgian. But she snubbed Miss Bostock and she snubbed Pudbrook. She admits the hopeless and snubs the hopeful. She is a mixture of the coward and the bully. I don"t like it, and I"ve no more to do with it. Strike them off, Fergy. I shall feel happier when it"s done."
Ferguson took down an alphabetical list, turned up the letter "P," and put a black ink cross where it was required. "I wonder what this has cost you," he said cheerfully.
"You paid the bill. Nothing, anyhow."
"The Salvationist got a subscription, and so did Mrs Gust. The Suffragette also hit you. I think you have promised to be manicured. Mr Pudbrook owns half his paper, and the printer owns the other half. They are not doing too well, and they are thinking of a limited company. You know best how far you have come into it. Eustace Richards, in spite of his jabber, has done no good with his last two things. He stayed with you for some time. If he was not suggesting that you should release him from the people who are financing him at present, then, of course, it"s my mistake."
"You"re a clear-sighted chap," said Garth, "and you"ve mentioned nothing which is very far out. There are even some things which you might have mentioned and have omitted. They don"t really matter. I"ve done what was wanted. I"ve even shown Lady Longsh.o.r.e how to make the money she wants.
But that"s not what"s worrying me."
"Give it a name," said Ferguson.
The door opened. "A young person of the name of Bostock wishes to see you, sir," said the butler. "I have told her that you are not in the habit of seeing people at this time of the evening, but she seemed rather pressing."
"In here, please," said Garth.
"Let"s see," said Ferguson, "Miss Bostock left before the show was over."
"She did," said Garth; "and I want to know why."
In the meantime the butler had returned to Miss Bostock with a totally different manner. So far as the rules went, he had made no mistake, but there were exceptions, of course. On sight, Miss Bostock was a young person. On further investigation she was a young lady whom Mr Duncan Garth wished to see, and that made a difference.
She entered the room with perfect composure, wearing the same clothes that she had worn at the luncheon-party.
"Perhaps I shouldn"t have come," she said, "but there are things I want to say. I want to know why you did that."
"You"ll sit down, won"t you?" said Garth. "What is it precisely we are talking about?"
"Why did you give that luncheon? Why did you make me come to it? I refused at first, you know. Then Mr Ferguson came to see me and persuaded me. He told me the Archdeacon was coming, and that seemed like a mutual acquaintance. I think if he had been there he wouldn"t have been as rude to me as his wife was. I dare say, if I had told her I was a general servant, she would have been as sweet to me as she was to that half-drunken crossing-sweeper, or that Belgian brute, or some of the other people whom you ought not to have asked me to meet."
"Yes," said Mr Ferguson, cheerfully. "Lady Longsh.o.r.e also is very unconventional, isn"t she?"
"I"m not speaking about that," said Miss Bostock, doggedly. "The rudeness of that lady to me is a small personal matter easily forgotten.
It"s the ghastly humiliation of the whole thing that makes me sick and savage."
There was a moment"s silence. "Ferguson," said Garth, "there was that letter."
"Yes," said Ferguson, "I"ll see to it," and pa.s.sed out of the room.
"Now, then," said Garth. "What"s the trouble, Miss Bostock?"
"The trouble is that the whole of us were merely a show got up for your amus.e.m.e.nt. You gave us a lunch that we might make fools of ourselves.
Fish out of water are very absurd, aren"t they? But it"s cruel to take them out of water and to watch them dying, all the same. That luncheon-party was the most brutal thing done in London to-day, and you were the brute who did it. What harm was I doing? Why did you drag me into it?"
"Five or six weeks ago," said Garth, "I met you for the first time. It was in the post-office. You asked me if I"d got any eyes in my head."
"I remember now," said Miss Bostock. "I ought not to have said it. I think the tick of the telegraph gets on my nerves. You were not the first, too, and the notices were up clear enough. Still, why couldn"t you have reported me? That would have been the right way to punish me."
"No," said Garth, "I did not want to punish you. I distinctly liked the spirit and the temper with which you spoke to me. You will understand, perhaps, that I get rather too much of the other kind of thing. I had no wish whatever to humiliate you. I did wish to amuse myself. You may be glad to hear that I have not done it. Is there anything I can do?"
"Nothing now," said the girl, contemptuously.
"I think there is," said Garth, and rang the bell. He sent the servant to fetch Mr Ferguson.
"I say, Ferguson," said Garth, "can you tell me what the price of that luncheon was?"