Hero Scout

"You want to fight, eh?" Grunted the pigman, burying his huge maul into the wooden flooring. The pigman"s presence alone was terrible but backed up by his cronies who leered, cheered and made themselves a nuisance, it was unbearable.

"Look at the pretty boy- bet you"re gay, ain"t ya pretty boy?" one buck-toothed boy said, pointing his stave right at Kenji.

"Watch out Scag, he might attempt to feel you up," giggled a girl with twisted eyes and p.r.o.ne to licking her knife as if it were a lollipop. Meanwhile, the others were sticking into everyone else in sight, riling up the guild members and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

"You going to take that Kenji?" Violet hissed, purple magic flaring around her hands.

"Just ignore them; their kind thrives on attention," Kenji said, more than familiar with such edgy kids from various multiplayer first-person shooter games. Instead, he focused on his mead and - the buck-toothed boy knocked it from his hands. After so much turmoil, having looked forward to a bit of rest, seeing the golden froth splash across the table and across his pants caused him deep sorrow.

Hissing with her silk shirt thoroughly soaked, Violet produced a crystalline spike and positioned it right before the boy"s eye. Seeming pleased to be splashed upon, Tenko nonetheless joined in by grabbing the girl by the hair and chewing on her face.

Angry himself, Kenji stood tall and activated the blessing of [Sight].

"Who the h.e.l.ls are you to mess with my men?" The big warrior roared, Kenji giving the children who had spilt his mead a long look as they scrambled away. Lifting his gaze, Kenji stared the pigman right into his oily black eyes.

"I am an Edgelord, cretin. And we at the Golden Goose will not tak-"

"Fear not! I have arrived," announced a newcomer, appearing in an explosion of golden fog and lightning to stand in the centre of the room. In each hand he held a beautiful woman, his smile white and shining, his steel armour only slightly battered and lined with gold. Sweeping back regal blonde hair that fluttered behind him, he strode to stand before the pigman and press his finger into the black plate at his chest.

While everyone else was enraptured by the drama, Kenji just wondered why the newcomer"s hair was the only one being blown by a strong breeze. So too had his golden fog faded extraordinarily quickly, and the obviously powerful ruffian leader was stepping back awful fast before the dashingly handsome, yet scrawny, hero.

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"Who are you to come before the Golden Goose Guild, Hartog? This is a place for respectable people who follow a code of conduct, not ruffians at the very edge of the law!"

"We don"t play by the rules, Almanac, we weren"t all born with fancy powers and a wealthy estate to leech off. Some of us came from gutters, wars, and were shunned from society. Some of us were given a bad hand, and now we"re doing our best to do what"s right!" Hartog clenched a fist and smashed it into his own chest, the Headless Hunters nodding proudly behind him while the Golden Goose guildmembers rolled their eyes as if they had heard it all before.

Kenji peered around, looking for the cameras. Surely real life could not follow as closely to the script of a soap opera as this. And yet Violet was on the edge of her seat, Tenko too breathing quickly, moon eyes as glued to the scene as the rest.

And then Kenji had an idea.

"Oh Alamanac, thank you for coming!" Kenji said, standing tall. "I had thought you would have taken even longer fighting that Salamander up north. Compared to that, this ruffian is nothing!" Striding past several of the edgy kids, Kenji joined the stunned Almanac at his side. Kenji even made sure to lean in close to the man"s fluttering hair and felt the breeze that appeared around the Alamanac"s head and nowhere else.

"Eh- yes, it was a mighty battle!" Almanac threw his hands in the air, the Golden Goose Guild roaring and smacking their tankards into the table.

"A Salamander, Alamanac?" Hartog said with a dry tone. Upon seeing a blank stare from Alamanac he quickly continued, "a symptom of the disease of our society. If good fighters like ourselves were not left in the dust, there would be more adventurers to fight such creatures! Not just rich boys born with silver spoons in their b.u.ms-"

"-mouths," Kenji corrected him. Getting some laughter from the audience. Kenji turned and bowed.

"Mouth," Hartog said through gritted tusks.

"Sit down my good man, this might get messy," Alamanac said, giving Kenji a light push of wind that sent him tumbling back. In each hand, Almanac produced a ball of flame, and from behind him unwrapped a pair of fiery wings.

"Will you go in peace Hartog? Or must your kind be shown there is further to fall than the sewers!"

Tension filled the air, Kenji yawned, and rather predictably Hartog turned away.

"Tch. Next time, when you"re not here Alamanac, this guild will be mine as was promised. Until then, the Headless Hunters will continue to be the real adventurers around here. Unless your kind can put away your pride long enough to help even the lowliest quest givers without prejudice!"

Storming away, Hartog retreated amidst a storm of good intentions along with his high nosed criminalistic followers that b.u.mped Kenji along as they went. Although going off what they had said, it kind of felt to Kenji they thought themselves closer to a band of Robinhoods than just a big nuisance.

"Mr Alamanac if I could-" Kenji had meant to approach him about helping with the act, but was beaten by a swarm of adventurers surging forward. They thanked him, begged him to stay and offered drinks and suggestive favours.

Gallantly Alamanac provided empty words in response, extinguished his spells and strode to a stairwell guarded by a grey-bearded warrior with a halberd. None dared pa.s.s, and Kenji could only watch glumly as Alamanac arose to the second floor where better-geared adventurers gathered. For a moment, Alamanac stared right at Kenji, pointed him out to a few of his friends up there, and went through a door.

Having failed in his get rich quick scheme, Kenji instead returned to his colleagues and sat down on his wet bench.

"Well, I wished I was paired with such a hero as that," Violet murmured, still staring after Alamanac.

"I saved you from an inquisitors prison. How is that less hero worthy than this guy making a flashy stage show?" Kenji groaned, lifting his eyes to the quest board on the far wall. Wondering if he should start working before his gold ran dry.

But screw that, Kenji wasn"t one to skip the chance to get ahead.

"Tenko, you said your pack was nearby?"

Tenko"s moon eyes narrowed.

"Yes. Tenko did say that."

"Then I think we should give them a little visit, see how they"re doing and maybe pick up some extra muscle while we"re at it."

"I would like to see my family, so this is a good thing. Maybe even get rid of evil Fulgrim that haunt us. Hunters and adventurers supported them though, so it will be tough to free my people from their malicious intentions."

Kenji smiled, noting that saving her people from harm arose Tenko"s hero grade swiftly in his mind. From [ X ] to [ F ] at least, maybe [ E ].

"Well, before we go buy the necessary travel goods, information and protection lets have a celebratory drink!" Ruffling in his hidden compartment for his coin, Kenji went very pale.

"What is it? I want my bath already!" Violet groaned, sinking in her chair.

With chattering teeth, Kenji turned to her.

"Don"t be mad."

Violet furrowed purple brows.

"I can"t promise that. What has happened?"

Kenji grinned wider and wider, sweat dripped down his nose and a sinking feeling pervaded his gut. As he felt absolutely nothing in his compartment. Not even a single coin.

Those d.a.m.n edgy kids, Kenji would rip their d.a.m.n arms off if he ever met them again. But for the short term, Kenji was rapidly thinking up plans that didn"t end with Violet acting violently upon learning they would be sleeping under the table tonight.