"Back home, this used to be a bit of a controversial party," Bazza announced, plenty of sausages looted from the Gnomish Butcherhouse sizzling away. "But not here, because Sat.u.r.day"s are for the boys, no offence to the ladies, and that means every Sat.u.r.day is Australia day!"Kenji held his head and groaned.
All around him the party started, mead flowed, meats were served and a wild game of t.i.tanium ping-pong played out. Ellie had brightened after Bazza had fixed her hand with a strange drink and an expensive-looking crystal and now busied herself by dreamily watching Bazza while a large echidna told her all about his rock farm.
"What"s wrong mate? Look like your holding a dingo"s d.i.c.k," said Barry in his butcher"s smock, a similar version to the type Ellie had looted from the chest. Actually, Ellie was wearing hers too, her ears bright red with embarra.s.sment.
"I don"t know what that means," Kenji said, "and would love some help with the rest of this dungeon. How do we even get to the fifth floor from here, and how are you from Earth if your not one of the 18?"
"Mate, have a snag and a tinnie. Then we can talk," Bazza said, offering Kenji one of the premium-grade sausages from the raid, placed in a sesame seed bun and piled on with fantastically curling vegetables of shifting shades. It kind of looked like a magic onion that was doused with rainbows.
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Sausage in hand, and then handed a beer for the other, Kenji got it over with. He bit down hard and -
"Pah," Kenji sighed with a great lazy smile, the delicious taste transporting him to a faraway place. The meat was just right, the smell was divine, and the magical onion made him feel uttely relaxed. The stunningly refreshing beer soothed his palate, reset it, and made then next bite doubly wonderful.
Kenji only came too as he finished, and found Bazza smiling like a proud mother hen.
"I"m a good cook, huh?" Bazza smirked, eyeing Kenji"s many companions that ate, drank and played as if they hadn"t fought in a butchery overflowing with blood and ran by cannibal gnomes.
"Yeah, you really are," Kenji admitted, relaxing a bit now that some of his pent of stress fading away.
"Care for a game of t.i.tanium ping-pong then?" Bazza handed kenji a paddle heavy as a sword, and soon Kenji found himself on the other side of a t.i.tanium table. "You better be strong buddy, because even at my absolute weakest I"m a beast in thongs."
Kenji gulped and served. With Arthur"s body, he shot the ping pong ball across, and lightning-fast Bazza smashed it right back in a blur. Kenji rubbed his eyes, peered around, and smirked.
"Well if that"s how its going to be," he said, and turned into the Queen Sun Elf.
"Now that"s a sheila," Bazza wolf whistled, the members of Sundrake bristling. Kenji waved them down.
"Let"s try that again," Kenji said, and served with far greater speed. Bazza effortlessly reutrned it, Kenji smashed it back, their back and forth continueing to increase in speed and power. Using bursts of wind Kenji increased his speed again, he flew back to hit the ping pong ball when it zoomed ridiculously far on the rebournd, and still, Bazza simply continued to move faster and faster.
If only Kenji had Tenko"s agility enhancement - Kenji halted, allowing the ball to zoom away.
"What"s wrong? Thought we were just getting fired up?" Bazza said, "Also, your a mimic right? or some kind of shapeshifter at least?"
Kenji turned away.
"This was a mistake. Thank you for the invitation Barry, but if you can"t help us we need to get going." With his change of att.i.tude the other adventurers quickly found their feet and started packing, Kenji was proud that none tried to stay a while longer in this sunny eden beneath the earth. This paradise in a way.
"We have a job to do," and without further strength, Tenko would remain lost forever.
"Then allow old Bazza here to help. You need to get to the fith floor boss right?" Bazza grinned, "then I know just the way!"
"Can you help us fight it?"
"That I cannot. Even as a roaming monster, like me buddies here, we can only fight lessor sp.a.w.ns in other areas of this dungeon. Otherwise the %(^#($ would have a hissy fit."
"Barry, who are you?" Kenji said, abandoning all hint of diplomacy. "I came here to help a dear friend of mine, but before I trust you, I need to know who YOU are and how you came from Earth!"
Kenji felt stupid, and rash, and as if he was messing everthing everthing up. But similarly did Kenji feel like he had had enough with the games.
"I"ll tell you, once you defeat the boss. How about that?" Bazza said, thinking fast, "I"ll help you get there, I"ll help you strategise. And if you win, i"ll tell you anything you want to know."
"Why not tell me now?"
"Because, old Barry here doesn"t want to get his hopes up. I don"t want to tell you my situation here, get flooded with promises, and then have you either die down there - or win and never return. It"s how it"s always been, and now I don"t like getting attached without some a.s.surance of your strength," Barry"s eyes went wet, and Blake slithered over to rub his foot as Barry downed several mugs of beer.
"Fine - thank you, Bazza. Do you mind if we get going now?"
"Yeah, nah. We go when the snags and beer run out," Bazza said having recovered from his little bout of sadness. Soon the party got back underway at full swing, and while anxious, Kenji gave Ellie the choice.
And she chose to let their comrades rest and enjoy themselves. At least for one night.
"We can go in the morning. With a full stomache, and having slept well."
Kenji didn"t mention he didn"t need to sleep, but could appreciate those who still did. Instead he guarded them well into the morning, and readied their packs for them. Everyone awoke the next day with their supplies in order, and a very excited Barry standing at the front door.
"This way, this way please! First stop - the third floor!"