was a difficult game, so I had to study a lot.
Honestly, I probably knew more about the demon’s secrets than Hejuju, the witch of this swamp. That kind of question was boring.
“Return twice over for a favour, and ten times over for a grudge.”
When I answered immediately Hejuju’s eyes became wider.
“W, what? How does a mere human know that!”
“I have studied a little.”
“U, unbelievable. It’s just a coincidence. Next question. Where is the Demon Lord from 400 years ago, Pattuka’s grave?”
I could feel Hejuju’s confidence in me not knowing the answer to this question. It was a question I was suppose to get wrong. Even some fairly high ranking demons didn’t know the answer to this question.
“It is hidden deep in the secretive Rem Valley in the demonic world.”
“What?!”
Again, I answered immediately and Hejuju began to shake all over. She pointed at me agitatedly while shaking her staff.
“Who are you! How do you know that!”
“Next question please.”
“You dare!”
Hejuju put on a serious face and poised to ask a question which I would really have no way of knowing. The question was, once again, too easy for a demon expert like me.
“How many demon lords are currently active within the Empire?”
“Thirty three.”
Demon Lords were causing problems left and right but there were also those working from within the shadows. It was no easy feat to account for all of them. But after having played this game countless times, there was no way I wouldn’t know the answer to this question. Hejuju lost her composure when I replied thirty three immediately.
“What… where did something like you appear from?”
Even though her hands were shaking, Hejuju took out a pouch from her inner pocket. She tossed it over to me.
“Here is a legendary potion they call Dragon’s Fruit. Even trash like you will be reborn if you take it. Hmph! Take it. I have made a promise on my name to reward anyone who correctly answers the questions. I have no intention of breaking that promise.”
“Thank you.”
I picked up the Dragon’s Fruit Hejuju had handed over. In the past, while playing as a guardian, I simply killed Hejuju after taking the potion, but since I didn’t have the strength to do so this time, it was time to retreat.
“Then…”
Hejuju called me over while I was trying to leave.
“Wait.”
When I turned around after feeling an ill-premonition, Hejuju was smiling at me like an evil spirit. And her staff was pointing my way.
“I handed over the Dragon’s Fruit as promised. But I never said I would let you go freely.”
It was strange. In my past plays as a guardian, I received the Dragon’s Fruit and that was the end. She didn’t act petty like now.
No, is it because I’m an easy target right now? The reason she did nothing when I was a guardian was because she was too weak to do anything to me?
“This is different from what you promised!”
“I never broke my promise!”
Hejuju shouted and fired a beam from her magic staff towards me. That was the end. I lost consciousness as I felt a sensation as if my soul was flying off.
***
“Mmmmhh….”
The moan was probably coming out of my mouth. My body felt heavy as if it weighed a ton. Loud gossiping noise from nearby forced me to open my eyes.
“Kekeke! We haven’t had a feast in a while! I can’t stop salivating.”
“It’s still young, so it’ll be soft and tender. Shriveled up and old ones smell and taste bad.”
I realized the situation I was in. Cold sweat rolled down. I squinted my eyes open to look ahead. There were five repugnant looking witches chattering away with a gigantic cauldron in the middle.
No, seriously, what the h.e.l.l kind of a situation is this.
Looking at the cauldron, it looked as if they were planning to cook me in it. I scanned around to confirm that this was some sort of a cavern. There were human bones piled high along with miscellaneous wares in the cavern.
“Urgh.”
I tried to struggle around, but it was useless as my arms were tied behind me. I felt around with my hand to see if I could grab anything. Finally,I touched something sharp like a broken bone.
But the next moment, I could only freeze like a frog that saw a snake. One of the witches was staring at me. My heart dropped.
“It’s awake.”
“What?”
At the word of the witch staring at me, all the other witches turned towards me. They were all hideous.
“Just wait few more moments, child. We’ll gobble you up delicious after deboning you.”
“Kekeke! His heart is mine!”
“Then the thigh’s mine!”
“You always liked the chewy cut for some reason.”
They all started arguing over herbs and ingredients to put into the cauldron.
“The males have a rank smell to them, you need to put in plenty of rosemary!”
“Shut up! Didn’t you know I hate the smell of rosemary? You idiot!”
Taking a look at the situation, I still had a bit of time before being turned into a feast. What did I need to do? I desperately thought over what I knew about Havel’s five sister witches.
I recalled despite looking rather friendly, they did not have a good relation with each other. They were the type of people who couldn’t hide their ugly jealousy over each other.
Each of their names were: Hejuju, Kaldura, Pugul, Gunda and Oldaina. The Witches of the Swamp were infamous subjugation targets, so I had ran into them one way or another in the game.
I remembered their dialogue from back then. And I realized I could play them against each other.
Boosh Boosh
While thinking, I was using my hands and that sharp bone to cut through the rope that was tied around my hands.Speaking of which, I was completely naked. They were treating me more like a piece of meat than like a person.
Snap!
“It’s strange though.”
All the witches were looking at me as if they had never expected me to open my mouth.
“What? What’s that thing saying?”
“Hejuju-nim, you said you wouldn’t invite Pugul-nim, but why did you bring her anyways? Didn’t you say Pugul-nim would eat too much and ruin the party?”
“What? What nonsense are you spouting, you maniac?”
Hejuju was taken aback, but the witch called Pugul was already bright red with anger. She had inherited an ogre’s blood, one of her ancestors, so she was particularly large. All the other witches were laughing away at the situation. I took the opportunity to continue running my mouth.
“Gunda-nim, didn’t you have a magical reagent stolen couple of days ago?”
“Huh? What! How did you know!”
“That’s because Hejuju-nim stole it with her familiar. If you open up that toad over there, you’ll find your lost property in the stomach.”
Once I had the initiative all kinds of memories from past quests came back. I shouted out the information as they came, and the witches started pulling at each other’s hair.
“Why is my stuff coming out of your toad’s stomach?!”
“How should I know!”
“You thief!”
“You b.i.t.c.h!”
The five witches who ruled over the swamp were locked into a melee with each other. They at least held off on using magic as a sort of an unwritten rule to not cross the line. If they started using magic, it would a.s.sure mutual destruction.
I quickly got up and pushed Hejuju who was showing her back towards me.
“Die!”
Right into that gigantic cauldron with boiling water inside.
Splash!
Hejuju launched straight into the boiling water.
“Kuaaaaaah!”
A screeching cry erupted. But I didn’t stop. I picked up the staff Hejuju dropped and smacked down at her forehead that came out of the water.
“You b.i.t.c.h!”
Thwack!
After taking the hit square on the head, she sunk below once again. However, she managed to float back up again and I struck down again. My emotions exploded out.
“What the h.e.l.l did you say, you hag? You’re going to eat me?”
Thwack!
At that moment, the magic staff broke with a mighty crack. And from the broken staff, flame started sprouting out uncontrollably.
Woosh
That wasn’t all. With a pew pew noise, something like fireworks started coming out of the staff’s broken area.
“Guaaaaahhh!”
One of the witch’s hair caught on fire and she rolled around. The situation turned into chaos in an instant. I threw the staff at the witches and scooped all the reagents on the table with my two arms to fling into the fire.
Boom! Bang! Kablam!
Chain explosion erupted. The cavern was in absolute anarchy.
“You rotten hags! You’re all dead!”
Raging over the fact I was almost eaten so humiliatingly, I was in a state of frenzy.