Why was it that these evening fireside meetings with the doctor"s lovely daughter, once such unalloyed delight, were now only a keenly pleasing pain? Why did his face burn and his heart beat and his voice falter when obliged to speak to her? Why could he no longer talk of her to his mother, or write of her to his friend, Herbert Greyson? Above all, why had his favorite day dream of having his dear friends, Herbert and Clara married together, grown so abhorrent as to sicken his very soul?
Traverse himself could not have answered these questions. In his ignorance of life he did not know that all his strong, ardent, earnest nature was tending toward the maiden by a power of attraction seated in the deepest principles of being and of destiny.
Clara in her simplicity did not suspect the truth; but tried in every innocent way to enliven the silent boy, and said that he worked too hard, and begged her father not to let him study too much.
Whereupon the doctor would laugh and bid her not be uneasy about Traverse--that the boy was all right and would do very well! Evidently the doctor, with all his knowledge of human nature, did not perceive that his protege was in process of forming an unadvisable attachment to his daughter and heiress.
Mrs. Rocke, with her woman"s tact and mother"s forethought, saw all! She saw that in the honest heart of her poor boy, unconsciously there was growing up a strong, ardent, earnest pa.s.sion for the lovely girl with whom he was thrown in such close, intimate, daily a.s.sociation, and who was certainly not indifferent in her feelings toward him; but whom he might never, never hope to possess.
She saw this daily growing, and trembled for the peace of both. She wondered at the blindness of the doctor, who did not perceive what was so plain to her own vision. Daily she looked to see the eyes of the doctor open and some action taken upon the circ.u.mstances; but they did not open to the evil ahead, for the girl and boy! for morning after morning their hands would be together tying up the same vines, or clearing out the same flower bed; day after day at the doctor"s orders Traverse attended Clara on her rides; night after night their blushing faces would be bent over the same sketch book, chess board, or music sheet.
"Oh! if the doctor cannot and will not see, what shall I do? What ought I to do?" said the conscientious little woman to herself, dreading above all things, and equally for her son and the doctor"s daughter, the evils of an unhappy attachment, which she, with her peculiar temperament and experiences, believed to be the worst of sorrows--a misfortune never to be conquered or outlived.
"Yes! It is even better that we should leave the house than that Traverse should become hopelessly attached to Clara; or, worse than all, that he should repay the doctor"s great bounty by winning the heart of his only daughter," said Marah Rocke to herself; and so "s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g her courage to the sticking place," she took an opportunity one morning early while Traverse and Clara were out riding, to go into the study to speak to the doctor.
As usual, he looked up with a smile to welcome her as she entered; but her downcast eyes and serious face made him uneasy, and he hastened to inquire if she was not well, or if anything had happened to make her anxious, and at the same time he placed a chair and made her sit in it.
"Yes, I am troubled, doctor, about a subject that I scarcely know how to break to you," she said, in some considerable embarra.s.sment.
"Mrs. Rocke, you know I am your friend, anxious to serve you! Trust in me, and speak out!"
"Well, sir," said Marah, beginning to roll up the corner of her ap.r.o.n, in her embarra.s.sment, "I should not presume to interfere, but you do not see; gentlemen, perhaps, seldom do until it is too late." She paused, and the good doctor turned his head about, listening first with one ear and then with the other, as if he thought by attentive hearing he might come to understand her incomprehensible words.
"Miss Clara has the misfortune to be without a mother, or an aunt, or any lady relative----"
"Oh, yes, I know it, my dear madam; but then I am sure you conscientiously try to fill the place of a matronly friend and adviser to my daughter," said the doctor, striving after light.
"Yes, sir, and it is in view of my duties in this relation that I say--I and Traverse ought to go away."
"You and Traverse go away! My good little woman, you ought to be more cautious how you shock a man at my time of life--fifty is a very apoplectic age to a full-blooded man, Mrs. Rocke! But now that I have got over the shock, tell me why you fancy that you and Traverse ought to go away?"
"Sir, my son is a well-meaning boy----"
"A high-spirited, n.o.ble-hearted lad!" put in the doctor. "I have never seen a better!"
"But granting all that to be what I hope and believe it is--true, still, Traverse Rocke is not a proper or desirable daily a.s.sociate for Miss Day."
"Why?" curtly inquired the doctor.
"If Miss Clara"s mother were living, sir, she would probably tell you that young ladies should never a.s.sociate with any except their equals of the opposite s.e.x," said Marah Rocke.
"Clara"s dear mother, were she on earth, would understand and sympathize with me, and esteem your Traverse as I do, Mrs. Rocke," said the doctor, with moist eyes and a tremulous voice.
"But oh, sir, exceeding kind as you are to Traverse, I dare not, in duty, look on and see things going the way in which they are, and not speak and ask your consent to withdraw Traverse!"
"My good little friend," said the doctor, rising and looking kindly and benignantly upon Marah, "My good little woman "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof!" Suppose you and I trust a little in Divine Providence, and mind our own business?"
"But, sir, it seems to me a part of our business to watch over the young and inexperienced, that they fall into no snare."
"And also to treat them with "a little wholesome neglect" that our over-officiousness may plunge them into none!"
"I wish you would comprehend me, sir!"
"I do, and applaud your motives; but give yourself no further trouble!
Leave the young people to their own honest hearts and to Providence.
Clara, with all her softness, is a sensible girl, and as for Traverse, if he is one to break his heart from an unhappy attachment, I have been mistaken in the lad, that is all!" said the doctor, heartily.
Mrs. Rocke sighed, and, saying, "I deemed it my duty to speak to you, sir, and having done so, I have no more to say," she slightly curtsied and withdrew.
"He does not see! His great benevolence blinds him! In his wish to serve us he exposes Traverse to the most dreadful misfortune--the misfortune of becoming hopelessly attached to one far above him in station, whom he can never expect to possess!" said Marah Rocke to herself, as she retired from the room.
"I must speak to Traverse himself and warn him against this snare," she said, as she afterward ruminated over the subject.
And accordingly that evening, when she had retired to her chamber and heard Traverse enter the little adjoining room where he slept, she called him in, and gave him a seat, saying that she must have some serious conversation with him.
The boy looked uneasy, but took the offered chair and waited for his mother to speak.
"Traverse," she said, "a change has come over you recently that may escape all other eyes but those of your mother; she, Traverse, cannot be blind to anything that seriously affects her boy"s happiness."
"Mother, I scarcely know what you mean," said the youth in embarra.s.sment.
"Traverse, you are beginning to think too much of Miss Day."
"Oh, mother!" exclaimed the boy, while a violent blush overspread and empurpled his face! Then in a little while and in faltering tones he inquired. "Have I betrayed, in any way, that I do?"
"To no one but to me, Traverse, to me whose anxiety for your happiness makes me watchful; and now, dear boy, you must listen to me. I know it is very sweet to you, to sit in a dark corner and gaze on Clara, when no one, not even herself, witnesses your joy, and to lie awake and think and dream of her when no eye but that of G.o.d looks down upon your heart; and to build castles in the air for her and for you; all this I know is very sweet, but, Traverse, it is a sweet poison--fatal if indulged in--fatal to your peace and integrity."
"Oh, my mother! Oh, my mother! What are you telling me!" exclaimed Traverse, bitterly.
"Unpalatable truths, dear boy, but necessary antidotes to that sweet poison of which you have already tasted too much."
"What would you have me to do, my mother?"
"Guard your acts and words, and even thoughts; forbear to look at, or speak to, or think of Clara, except when it is unavoidable--or if you do, regard her as she is--one so far beyond your sphere as to be forever unattainable!"
"Oh, mother, I never once dreamed of such presumption as to think of--of"--The youth paused and a deep blush again overspread his face.
"I know you have not indulged presumptuous thoughts as yet, my boy, and it is to warn you against them, while yet your heart is in some measure within your own keeping, that I speak to you. Indulge your imagination in no more sweet reveries about Miss Day, for the end thereof will be bitter humiliation and disappointment. Remember also that in so doing you would indulge a sort of treachery against your patron, who in his great faith in your integrity has received you in the bosom of his family and admitted you to an almost brotherly intimacy with his daughter. Honor his trust in you, and treat his daughter with the distant respect due to a princess."
"I will, mother! It will be hard, but I will! Oh, an hour ago I did not dream how miserable I should be now!" said Traverse, in a choking voice.
"Because I have pointed out to you the gulf toward which you were walking blindfolded!"
"I know it! I know it now, mother," said Traverse, as he arose and pressed his mother"s hand and hurried to his own room.
The poor youth did his best to follow out the line of conduct prescribed for him by his mother. He devoted himself to his studies and to the active service of his patron. He avoided Clara as much as possible, and when obliged to be in her company, he treated her with the most respectful reserve.
Clara saw and wondered at his change of manner, and began to cast about in her own mind for the probable cause of his conduct.