Chapter 2 p1
The next morning, the wind blew against the row of poplar trees again. Although the sky was sunny, wondering where it could be blowing from, Haruka looked up at the clouds. Since he was looking up, changing his mind that there’s no particular reason for the wind to blow because of the clouds, he buries his neck in his jacket.
In the morning, he always went to school alone. Since Makoto had to accompany his siblings who went to kindergarten to the bus stop, he always just barely made it. And then, he heads to school in a hurry. He can’t go along with something like that.
He grimaces as the wind blows again. Though there were a lot of children who walked in a line, only the sound of the poplar trees trembling in the wind echoed with a strange voice.
Haruka didn’t like this overly wide main road leading to the school. Especially in the winter, how everyone walked in groups stretching out was unpleasant for him. Then, when he thinks about how he’s a part of it, too, he couldn’t stand it sometimes. He ends up recalling a scene he saw from a long time ago. Although it’s something from many years before, he still clearly remembers it. A freezing wind blew that time, too.
The clomping of the people clad in white kimonos using their canes was the only noise that resounded in the port. There were about 15 of them. They slowly and silently kept walking as they all had their eyes cast down. Although some of them were old people, children like him were also mixed in with them. Before he was aware of it, Haruka’s eyes followed those children. Wearing white kimonos just like the other adults, while casting their eyes down, they were holding the hand of a little girl.
Could she be crying? Lightly grasping his fist while thinking that, that child raised her face and turned towards him. When her gaze met Haruka’s, she wiped her eyes wet with tears with her left hand. Then, she firmly stared at Haruka with glaring eyes.
“Haru-chan, where are those people going?”
A young Makoto asked, trying to hide behind Haruka.
“Don’t know.”
“Then, what are they doing?”
There’s no way he could know. He looked at Makoto instead of replying. Anxiously furrowing his eight-shaped eyebrows, Makoto tightly gripped just the edge of Haruka’s clothes. As a voice that sounded like it was weeping escaped from somewhere in the line, Makoto’s grip strengthens.
“Are you scared, Makoto?”
“Dunno. Are you, Haru-chan?”
He wasn’t scared. It’s just that their ominousness of unknown nature squirmed in his chest with a chill of unease. He doesn’t know what this line is. But he was certain that it was something that frightened Makoto. Grabbing Makoto’s hand, who was holding the edge of his clothes, Haruka ran far away from that line, far away as fast he could.
“’Morning, Nanase-kun.”
Suddenly being called out to, he ended up turning around, looking surprised. The unexpectedness had completely struck him by surprise. Once he realized that it was Aki, he got a little bothered as to how his reaction came out. But he only thought that for a moment, he instantly recovered his composure.
“Hey.”
It was a blunt reply. That was usual for him, but he thought that this reply sounded particularly grouchy, even for him. In the first place, a bright greeting would’ve been appropriate. That’s the way it is. However, Aki didn’t mind that at all, she faced him with her usual, unchanging smile.
“Sorry about yesterday. I made you worry.”
Is it about what happened on the bridge? It’s the only thing that comes to mind. He doesn’t even remember being all that worried. It was just that Aki’s sunken expression that was unlike her, had stuck in the corner of his memory a little.
“What happened to the scarf?”
Either way, since it fell into the middle of the wide river, there shouldn’t be anything that could’ve been done. As soon as he said it, he thought it would’ve been better if he hadn’t.
The dark shadow in Aki’s expression from yesterday was no longer there. She smiled as pleasantly as the summer’s blue sky.
“After Nanase-kun left, it sunk right away. Because of that, I had to accept it. If it would’ve kept getting washed away, I probably would’ve kept staring at it.”
Saying that, she smiled pleasantly again. It was a smile that didn’t suit this winter sky, or this road.
“What is it, Nanase-kun? Your face is red.”
Suddenly, Aki peeks closer at Haruka’s face. Their eyes meeting directly, just by looking slightly into the distance, he cast his eyes away.
“Nothing, it’s normal.”
“Don’t you have a fever?”
As Aki’s hand reached towards his face, Haruka instinctively brushed it away. Because of that, time stopped for a moment as the two of them faced each other. Aki looked at Haruka in surprise, holding the brushed-away hand in her other one.
“Ah…. my bad.”
It was Haruka’s mistake. If he doesn’t like getting touched, it would’ve been better if he would’ve avoided it by moving his head or by lightly protecting himself with his hand. There was no need for him to brush away her hand.
“No, it’s my fault….. sorry.”
The conversation coming to a pause there, they started walking again on the road towards the school. Staying silent, looking down, while grimacing against the strong wind that blew sometimes……..
That was a perfectly appropriate state for walking on this poplar-lined road.
Homeroom’s topic was about the “Graduation Commemoration Project”. Gathering up the ideas that every cla.s.s contributes, they narrow it down further to one of them. Since all the graduating students work together to create it afterwards, various opinions on it were given even in Haruka’s cla.s.s.
Things that could be made soon, things that didn’t seem realizable at all, funny things, things that tended heavily towards preferences. By the time they gradually ran out of ideas, Aki raised her hand.
“Um, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, but the only flowers that bloom at this school are cherry blossoms, right? That cherry blossom tree has a lot of blossoms on it when spring comes, but since it looks a little lonely…….”
It’s the large cherry blossom tree that stands between the school building and the pool. In this area, another splendid tree like that isn’t to be found. With an overwhelming presence that no kind of person can get close to, the trees, the gra.s.s, the flowers, stay far away from it, like they were overpowered.
“And so I’ve been thinking, what if we planted a flowerbed around that cherry blossom? When spring comes, I think it’d surely be lovely if the tree and the multicolored flowers could get along and bloom together.”
Haruka felt a faint opposition. The cherry blossom has to stay taller, bigger, more dignified than anyone else and with an air of calm about it. He didn’t even want to imagine its figure surrounded by flashy flowers.
“I agree with planting a flowerbed, too.”
The one who backed Aki’s idea by saying that, was Makoto.
“I think it would be good to plant flowers that would bloom around the time we graduate.”
You can’t say that the majority rule vote is always fair. Unrelated to the strength of feelings, every person is given the right to one vote of equal value. If that’s the case, bringing attention to the strength of those feelings like Aki and Makoto, it’s fine if they’re seeking understanding, but Haruka couldn’t do that. Pushing his feelings onto others is what Haruka was the worst at doing.
But it’s always like that, Aki’s idea is generally supported. And then, they decided on the flowerbed with an overwhelming majority this time, too.
“Haru, are you okay?”
After homeroom, Makoto came to talk to him with a worried look on his face.
“What is it?”
“Your face is red. Don’t you have a fever?”
Aki told him the same thing in the morning, too. He put the palm of his hand on the back of his neck to try and see. He felt a little feverish.
“Not really, I’m fine.”
It’s not something to make others worry over. When he thought that Makoto’s worried expression for a sick patient was unpleasant, Rin came around, calling out in his out of place voice.
“Well who would’ve thought. That Tachibana was a romanticist who loves flowers.”
Folding his arms, he decides to his own convenience to make fun of Makoto.
“Anyways, Matusoka-kun’s idea surprised me. Launching an artificial satellite. Isn’t that even more romanticist?”
“It wasn’t launching one, but putting a message on an artificial satellite. About our dreams and friends.”
“Hmm, Matsuoka-kun is a romanticist as I thought.”
“Well, that may be true. But hey, it sure surprised me that Nanase-kun agreed to my idea. Actually, I was a little bit happy.”
Rin’s voice and Makoto’s voice both hurt his ears. Yelling at them for being noisy is too annoying and troublesome, too.
—— This might be a bit bad.
When he thought that, Rin noticed Haruka’s condition. Thought it would’ve been fine if he hadn’t.
“Huh? Nanase-kun, feeling ill?”
He wasn’t asking Haruka. He was asking Makoto.
“About that, I’m thinking that he might have a fever——“
Saying that, Makoto peeks closer at Haruka’s face.
“I told you I don’t have a fever!”
Suppressing something was troublesome. The people near them turn around upon hearing Haruka’s harsh voice. An unpleasant silence flowed in.
“….. My bad”
It’s the same words he said to Aki in the morning. Standing up from his seat, Haruka walked towards the cla.s.sroom’s door. He wanted to be freed from everything in that place for even just a little bit of time. Feeling Makoto’s anxious glance on his back, Haruka left the cla.s.sroom.
As he tries getting on the bicycle he left at the foot of the stone steps, Haruka’s feet suddenly stop. It’s the bicycle he rides to go to the swimming club every day.
—— I wonder if he’s going to run today, too.
A thought about Rin floats across a corner of his head. It’s about 2 kilometers to Iwatobi SC from here. It’s still shorter than the distance that Rin runs.
Haruka had barely done any athletic training. He didn’t have much interest in training his body. To swim, in other words, to feel the water. That’s what swimming meant to Haruka. He never once thought of swimming for the sake of winning against someone. So that’s why he didn’t bother with his time either and didn’t feel the need to train his body.
It’s just that with there being a guy who swims faster than himself, if it means that he feels the water more than himself, it’s also a fact that there’s a little ill feeling left in his chest. He doesn’t know how Rin feels the water. But he’s a guy who swims faster than him at 50m, who’s in front of him until the 70m mark at 100m. He’s running today, too——. That was plenty enough of a reason for Haruka to run as well.
He has a fever. It’s something he knew without needing Makoto and Aki to tell him. However, until now, if it was just a little cold or fever, he cured it with swimming. He doesn’t understand the reason. When he’s in the water, it heals him. If it’s just a cold, after he swam, he unbelievably got better.
So he had no intention from the start to take a break today, either. But, if he goes, he’ll meet Rin. He’ll see Rin running. While he pa.s.ses by Rin on his bicycle, he’ll look away. Then, he’ll feel irritated at himself that he didn’t run.
Just once, he looked up at the stairs leading to Makoto’s house. Makoto isn’t coming yet. Leaving his bicycle behind, he began running the 2 km distance in a light gait.
The wind blew on Mutsukibashi today, too. The wind hitting his cheeks, he unintentionally looks up at Myoujinyama. Changing his mind that there’s no particular reason for the wind to be blowing from the mountain, turning forward again, he keeps running.
White breath springs out. Sweat flows. It’s been a long time since he ran a long distance. However, even though it’s not like he was running that fast, he doesn’t stop sweating. Even though it’s not like there were any steep hill roads or stairs, his pulse is running around throughout his body. It could be because of the fever, gradually he couldn’t control his irregular breathing any more. But even so, Haruka kept running, arrogantly scowling.
Makoto still isn’t catching up to him. Maybe he’s taking care of the goldfish again. Though it doesn’t really matter…..
His vision sometimes strangely shaking, by the time he crossed the bridge, he became aware that he wouldn’t be able to run all the way to the swimming club. He reached his limit when he was running on the embankment alongside the river. Stopping his feet, putting his hands on his knees, his breathing is hard and loud. Looking down, the sweat running down Haruka’s face made many little blotches on the ground. If he could’ve done so, he wanted to lie down with his arms and legs outstretched. Just like Rin on that day.
—— Darn. What am I so exhausted for!
Even though he tries lifting his spirits, his chest hurts and his feet don’t move forward. When he thinks about Makoto or Rin finding him in a place like this, he gets an unbearable feeling. From so much as making someone concerned or worrying them, he only thinks of wanting to disappear. He strongly wanted to deny that his existence is like that. He’s strangely in a hurry to quickly put his breathing back into order.
After a while, when his breathing had calmed down a bit, suddenly, he noticed something white on the river’s surface, though it kept appearing and disappearing. Aki’s scarf was stuck there, in a place he could reach from the riverside beneath the embankment. Though he thought it had already sunk and had gotten washed away to sea, it seems to have been pushed back by the high tide’s influence. Thinking he could pick it up, it drifted about in a reachable spot. Thinking he could pick it up…….
Hearing the sound of breaks, he turns around by reflex. With a worried expression, Aki got off her bicycle.
“What happened, Nanase-kun?”
Stretching the muscles along his spine, he forcibly entrapped his rough breathing. He intended to say it was nothing and run off again, but he stays silent. If he were to speak, he felt that the suppressed breath would flow out all at once.
“Ah”
Aki’s glance pa.s.sed by Haruka and turned towards the water’s surface. To the white scarf, drifting about on the river’s surface…. After clicking his tongue in his mind, Haruka tried inhaling a deep breath. It had already considerably calmed down.
He thought it’d be fine if he spoke now.
“I’ll get it for you.”
“No that’s okay, it’s dangerous.”
It’s not like I got exhausted in a place like this. Since I saw Aki’s scarf, I just stopped for a little bit. Making excuses for himself, he turns his back to Aki.
When he tried stepping forward onto the embankment’s slope, all of a sudden, dizziness struck him. The moment he thought he was done for, his vision getting dark, he lost his sense of balance. He should’ve felt the sensation of the weed growing on the ground on the bottom of his feet. However, those feet cutting the air, his body rolled and fell down the embankment. He can’t tell up from down. Though it’s his body, he had no idea at all what was happening to him. The only thing he heard was Aki’s scream, like the sound of the roadside poplar trees trembling in the wind.
The water’s coldness transmitting to the lower half of his body, because of that he realized that he fell into the river. His vision steadily returns. Half of his body was in the water. His right hand is gripping the dead gra.s.s on the riverside. His left hand… was entangled in the white scarf that had turned light brown.
—— This is the worst…. What the heck am I doing?
That was all he remembered clearly. The river’s water, without healing Haruka’s body or heart, s.n.a.t.c.hing away only his body temperature, thoughts came to a halt.
In the s.p.a.ce between dreams and reality, it feels like he could faintly hear Makoto’s voice calling his name and the sound of the ambulance’s siren.
“Haru, Haru!”
Then, Haruka fell into a deep slumber.
Because his head was terribly hurting, he opened his eyes. Before he thought about where he was, Makoto’s voice reached his ears.
“Haru, did you wake up? Haru.”
He doesn’t think that it’s hurting his ears. He didn’t feel resistance over being worried about. Makoto’s voice naturally flows, without being different from usual.
He tries matching the focus of his eyes, but it doesn’t go well. His head still hurts. His body is heavy. And yet, since his eyes were open, wanting to tell him not to worry, he tries emitting words.
“Where is this place?”
“It’s the hospital.”
“The hospital?”
He thought the fluorescent lamp was dazzling. When he tries thinking about why he’s sleeping in a hospital, his head hurts again.
“Haru, are you okay? Your mom’s coming soon, too. They contacted her just now.”
At last, he could clearly see Makoto’s face. As soon as he did, he noticed that another person was there behind him. Rin stood there silently, with a serious expression that he doesn’t usually show. Beside him, the white thing hung on the hanger is swaying in the breeze flowing from the air conditioner.
Is it the curtain? No, it’s a thinner, cloth-like thing…….
—— The scarf!
The moment he noticed that, his memories returned. Suddenly trying to get up, his entire body creaks.
“You mustn’t overdo it. You had a 40 degree fever.”
Haru wanted to know. After falling into the river, what happened for him to get here? He wanted to know right away.
“What about Yazaki?”
Aki was there, she should have seen it from beginning to end. Aki wasn’t here.
“Zaki-chan should be at home. But surely I think she’s worried, right about now.”
“What happened to me?”
“Right when Matsuoka-kun and I crossed the bridge, we heard Zaki-chan’s scream. When we went to take a look, Haru had fallen into the river.”
After that, while the two of them pulled Haruka onto the embankment, Aki called for an ambulance. While Makoto and Rin got into the ambulance, Aki contacted the swimming club and their houses. They say that Aki firmly completed the role she was given, even while looking like she was about to cry.
“So, you should tell it to Zaki-chan properly later, too.”
In the bed, he nods once. Makoto roughly explained to him what he wanted to know. His head hurt while he was listening, but he intended to appear as casual as possible.
“Oh, and Haru apparently has the influenza.”
He got very irritated, that it ended up like this for something stupid like that.
“Then, I’ll go and call for the doctor.”
When Makoto opened the door and left, inside the hospital room suddenly got quiet. The only thing to be heard was the sound of the air conditioning and Haruka’s rough breathing. And for the first time, he noticed that his breathing was irregular.
He saw Rin. He was silent all along, dropping his gaze diagonally downwards. Beside him, the scarf swayed.
“Thanks, Matsuoka.”
He even surprised himself how honestly his words came out. Rin just bowed his head a little, he didn’t even try looking in Haruka’s direction. Afterwards, until Makoto came back, only Haruka’s breathing and the air conditioning’s sound echoed in the hospital room a bit.
Being exposed to the cold wind outside, it makes him realize how much warmer it was in the hospital room. While he walked, Rin put his hand that was growing numb with cold in his jacket’s pocket. His feet were unusually heavy. He can’t breathe well. At last, he caught up with Makoto walking in front of him. He tried calling to Makoto.
“…… Tachibana.”
It feels like it’s been quite a while since he let his voice out. At least, it was the first time since he arrived at the hospital.
“What is it, Matsuoka-kun?”
“I……”
“Yeah.”
Rin hesitated to speak. Makoto patiently waited for his next words without urging him. During that time, they kept walking without stopping their feet. It was like he was slowly waiting for Rin to catch up to him.
“I was seriously scared.”
That was Rin’s honest feeling. He’s still feeling scared. Because of that, the internal organs all throughout his body hadn’t stopped their unbalanced movement. He thought that even without being conscious of it, his lungs respired, his heart pulsated. And now, when he had to take deep breaths, he realizes that all his functions seemed to stop.
“I was so scared, I had no idea what to do.”
Turning around, Makoto showed his smile. Suddenly raising his eight-shaped eyebrows, he turns back like that and keeps walking.
“It’s fine. It’s just the influenza. He didn’t catch pneumonia, he’ll get better right away.”
He thinks that what happened to Haruka is terrible. Seeing him fall into the river, it’s also a fact that he hurried over to him. He was hasty and fl.u.s.tered. But he didn’t think that Rin was scared.
“No, it’s not about Nanase. I meant you, at the bridge.”
“Huh?”
Makoto’s feet stop. While accepting Rin’s straightforward gaze, even so he still kept smiling. It was just like he had heard a joke.
“When we pulled out Nanase from the river, you were shaking, weren’t you?”
“Was I? I was kind of in a daze, I don’t really remember.”
Makoto turns around again and starts walking. While staring at Makoto’s back, Rin remembered that he was certainly shaking back then.
Although he gave precise instructions to Rin and Aki, Makoto shaking so much that it was unmistakable. His hands, his feet, his face. Not because of the cold, he was shaking in a way like he was afraid of something. Then, after they got into the ambulance, holding just the edge of Haruka’s clothes, he shook while he kept calling Haruka’s name.
Rin had never seen someone so frightened by something before. As it ended up clinging deep in his chest, his body doesn’t function the way he wants it to.
Saying nothing more than that, Rin kept walking behind Makoto. He doesn’t mind if Makoto says that he doesn’t remember. He didn’t want to force him to say things he didn’t want to. So he had no intention of inquiring any further than that, he thought that it wouldn’t change anything if he asked.
While they were waiting at the bus stop and even after they got on, the whole time the both of them were in silence, their gazes didn’t connect. Rin stands up, pushing the bell to get off. Since he gets off two bus stops before Makoto.
“See ya.”
“Yeah.”
He saw Makoto’s face for just that one moment. He was the usual Makoto. Raising his eight-shaped eyebrows, he was showing his usual smile. Maybe he was minding it too much. When he got off the bus, suddenly all his strength left his body. Taking in a deep breath of the evening air, Rin saw off the bus running away towards the madder red sky.
As Rin was getting off the bus, Makoto’s hand began to shake. The something that strained him suddenly snapping, his hand shook so much that he couldn’t do anything about it anymore out of his own will. It soon pa.s.sed on to his body, his feet, his chest, his face shaking, his teeth clatter. He holds his body tight with his own two hands. No matter how much strength he puts into it, he doesn’t stop shaking. No matter how much he grits his teeth, his lips tremble. Makoto couldn’t do anything about the tears that silently overflowed without a sound.