Hu Lei faced an older woman with deeply a.s.sessing eyes, as if she wanted to look into her soul. The woman had to be about sixty or so years old, but it was obvious that she enjoyed a good life. She looked like a stable and elegant lady of means.Unfortunately, Hu Lei did not find the answer that she was truly searching for by looking at this woman. It was impossible to determine if a person was trustworthy through a casual a.s.sessment. Most people hid countless secrets behind a calm façade.
Still, Doctor Shui had vouched for her.
"Is there anything specific that you would like to talk about?" Doctor Huo asked without spending much time on pleasantries.
Hu Lei liked the direct approach. She was afraid that there would be a lot of digging into feelings.
"I am concerned about sleepwalking." Hu Lei felt that this was her primary concern. She would not have come if she had not realised that there were periods within which she was not in control of herself. That worried her.
Doctor Huo looked at the young woman who looked small and frail. However, she could see from her eyes that her mental strength was exceptional. As a psychiatrist, she was faced with people who were deeply troubled and had lost hope. Their eyes always had a fractured look.
This Hu Lei had firmness and determination which strangely complemented her delicate appearance. In addition, there was something eerily familiar about her…
"Is this something that has been happening for a long time?"
"No, I believe it has only been twice."
"Were there any special stressful circ.u.mstances during those two events?"
Hu Lei thought about those two situations. The first one had been on the first day she had slept in her apartment. The second time was on her wedding night. It could be said that there had been stress triggers during these situations. But again, looking at her life, could these really be considered stressful situations?
"I cannot certainly say that there were difficult circ.u.mstances. At least, I don"t believe that the changes I made on those days could have been triggers."
Doctor Huo leaned back in her seat because she realised that Hu Lei was going to be a difficult patient. The young woman spoke in a detached manner, as if she had nothing to do with the session. Moreover, it seemed that she had a.n.a.lysed everything deeply.
"Why do you think so?" She looked at her.
"I have had difficult life by almost every standard." Hu Lei spoke in a matter-of-fact tone without an ounce of self-pity.
Doctor Huo did not often judge people by their outward appearance. However, she could not help looking at Hu Lei with sceptical eyes at her declaration. From her clothes to her casual elegance, it seemed like she enjoyed good things in life.
Then, the words she had said sunk deeper into her mind. A difficult life… those words reverberated in her mind. Her brain made a shocking connection when she remembered the words Doctor Shui had spoken a few months ago. Moreover, he had asked her to see Hu Lei. Could it be?
Doctor Huo did not see the signs of a scrambled mind when she studied Hu Lei. The overabundance of gamma brain waves indicated in those charts would cause at least some symptoms of instability and hyperactivity if not schizophrenia.
However, this woman before her seemed steady, calm and collected. There was no disintegration of her thinking or perception. If anything, she seemed completely self-aware. Her emotional responsiveness seemed a little unusual, but it was not unexpected in this situation.
"Would you like to talk about these difficulties?" Doctor Huo asked. It was always better to follow up with things as they came up.
"No, I am currently only concerned about sleepwalking. Are there any risks that I should know about?" Hu Lei focussed on her main concern.
Doctor Huo was a bit disappointed by her choice, but it was to be expected.
"Usually, people who sleepwalk will only do routine tasks. Unusual behaviour is quite rare." Doctor Huo answered in a simplistic manner. Sleepwalking was usually harmless and often random. "Do you have any specific concern?"
Hu Lei remained silent for a moment, deliberating whether to share more. In the end, it was the fatigue and worry in her heart that helped her with her decision. She was always on guard and did not dare to speak about her worries.
"I am worried about the risk of dissociation." She said finally.
Doctor Huo did not show any change in her expression, but her mind was already thinking back to that conversation with Shui. She had said that the concerned patient could be experiencing a fracturing in the psyche. Now, hearing those words from Hu Lei, she felt that there had to be a connection.
"Why do you think that you are at risk?" She followed up calmly.
Hu Lei spoke in a still detached manner even though she was sharing her greatest fear. "As I said, I have lived a difficult life. Some circ.u.mstances forced me to live a double life so that I could manage all the responsibilities that were imposed on me. My concern is that these two sides can no longer remain in harmony now that my fortunes have changed, and I do not need to live a double life."