His Only Sin

"Adam…"

He looked up to see his best friend frowning at him as Matt joined him in the kitchen.

"You look awful," Matt said, noting the other"s features, from his disheveled hair to the dark circles under his eyes and his tall frame which clearly lost some meat. "You lost weight. You"re not taking care of yourself."

"Do you want coffee?" Adam offered as he motioned for his friend to help himself with the coffee maker.

He brewed a lot since he didn"t get much sleep with Yesha having nightmares, crying out more than thrice in her sleep.

"I take it Big Sis has been restless again last night?" Matt inquired as he got himself his own cup of the steaming brew.

Today"s a Sunday, so he was able to get away from the office and visit his friend. Ever since Yesha got sick, it was Matt who was handling the large corporation and the stress it entailed was getting to him. He wouldn"t admit it though, considering that aside from him, Adam didn"t trust anyone else when it came to his company.

Besides, taking over the corporation was the only way Matt knew he could help his family at present. Adam had been through a lot, managing the business online and taking care of his wife at the same time. His best friend had been an arrogant son of a b.i.t.c.h before but even Matt would agree that what happened to Adam was too much for karma.

Watching Adam for a year, how he took care of his family in spite of the circ.u.mstances made him into a very doting and responsible husband and father in Matt"s eyes. He would give his best friend his support and whatever else Adam would need.

Looking at Adam"s thin frame now, Matt was worried. If something happened to him, they would lose all chances for Yesha"s recovery. "Are you eating properly?"

"Yes," Adam answered.

They had three helpers at home and he ate as much as he could while he did all the things he had to do every day.

"Yesha has been having nightmares a lot lately," he said wearily.

"I thought she was getting better? Jane said she was showing more and more reactions these days," Matt asked as he sat on one of the chairs and watched as Adam nodded.

"It"s true. She"s been speaking a lot too, but more to herself than to us," he continued with a frown.

"What"s wrong?" Matt asked and Adam frowned as he hesitated.

"Yesha… She said something yesterday which bothered me a lot," he answered and Matt raised a brow, enticing his friend to continue. "She asked me "it"s okay to dream right?" before she slipped into silence and just stared at me."
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"And?"

"When she said that, she didn"t seem to be insane. I think she"s aware and is in control of her mind," Adam said as he frowned. "What if the doctor was wrong? They said she"s delusional, but what if it"s just really plain depression and she just needed to work out her grief?"

"But the doctor said she has Capgras Delusion right or was it Cotard?" Matt asked. The doctor believed Yesha thought she was already dead ergo the withdrawn att.i.tude and vacant stares.

"I don"t know, I forgot. I didn"t want to think my wife crazy so I really didn"t pay attention to what that doctor said," Adam answered as he sighed and they fell into silence for a while. "Honestly, I don"t what to think anymore. I"m tired."

"Are you giving her up?" Matt asked softly, studying his friend from underneath his lashes. He couldn"t fault Adam for feeling like this but he hoped his friend wouldn"t give up entirely.

"I won"t. I can"t. I love her," Adam answered, his throat turning dry his eyes moistening as he placed the cup on the table. "But I feel frustrated because I miss her so much. I hope she"d come back to us. I want my Yesha back," he said with a broken sob as he raked his hair with his hands and his tears fell freely from his eyes.

Watching his friend shatter like this, in front of him, made Matt feel so helpless. If only he could do something. But he knew, no matter how much he wished, it was only up to Yesha whether she"d come back or not.

========

"Daddy, look at this?" Ashton pleaded woefully as he showed his father the toy airplane with its left wing lopsided.

They were in the living room together. Adam worked on the coffee table as Ashton played at his side. Yesha remained sitting in front of them on her recliner, watching father and son with her huge doe eyes.

"Oh, it"s broken," Adam stated as he reached for the toy and pulled the wing to straighten it. "Here sport, it"s a little better now," he said as he handed the toy back to his son who frowned at the airplane.

"But daddy, it"s still not okay," Ashton complained and Adam brushed his son"s hair.

"I know, Ash. I"ll just ask Aunt Jane to buy you a new one, okay? Play with this for now," he said as his mobile phone rang, startling Yesha who immediately transferred her stare from Ashton to him.

"It"s okay baby, just a phone call," Adam said soothingly as he walked over to his wife and kissed her on the lips.

Yesha blinked several times but she didn"t panic anymore like she used to. Adam smiled at his wife as he walked several feet away, turning his back on Yesha and their son as he took the call.

Since a week ago, Yesha had been more serene and responsive that Adam started to be confident on turning his attention away from her for a while, as he did his ch.o.r.es. He could go to the restroom and take his time bathing or do his business since Yesha no longer panicked much without him as long as Ashton was there.